Chapter 16

Sawyer

I get home late because we wanted to finish the contract ahead of schedule. Finishing ahead of schedule means a day off. I'm bone tired. I need a break.

Asher is in the shower when I return. I take the shower downstairs because I don't want to carry dust upstairs, and when I'm done, Asher is already getting ready for bed. There's a slight chill in the air, which matches the slight chill in my chest.

I crawl into bed alongside him and press my lips to his. "Sorry I'm late."

"I left dinner out for you," he says. "Did you have it?"

"Not hungry. I ate my potato salad late. Thank you, though."

"You guys finished the contract?"

"Yeah. I get a day off, then we start again in the lot a few miles down on Tuesday. Private farm."

Asher dips his head. He opens his mouth, then closes it again.

"He's doing okay, Asher," I say. I wish he would ask me, but this is a delicate situation so I don't usually push it. Is it because he wants to respect me and our relationship? Is it that he truly doesn't care about Reece anymore? Or is Asher trying to avoid some difficult feelings, like I am?

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He's a fast learner. And I'm taking good care of him. Everyone is good to him. He's always shocked when Walter brings him Bianca's left-over pork pie. Like he's never had people be nice to him before." I'm one to talk. I almost worshiped at the altar of Reece's dick when he brought me the burrito today. We're so different, but, at the same time, it's like we're the same. He's a rich city boy, I get that, but he's different from other rich folk I knew growing up.

A flash of sadness crosses Asher's face. "Yeah. He's like that. And you? How are you doing . . . with all of this?"

"I—"

Asher catches my hesitation, but I distract him with another kiss. "I'm okay," I tell him, but as I deepen the kiss I know it's far from the truth, and I'll have to own up soon enough. These sexual thoughts about Reece and Asher . . . and me . . . have gotten out of control.

He pulls me into his arms, wrapping me inside his chest while we kiss. Warm kisses that turn into hot bites within seconds.

"Fuck, I missed you this week," Asher groans into my mouth.

I suck on his bottom lip. Relishing the taste of his mouth. Hooking my leg around his waist, I slide closer to him, pressing my body into his. "I know. With the next contract it should be less hours. I missed you too."

My cock presses into Asher's and I moan with the pleasure of it. We kiss long and deep, shedding the load of the hard work week and pouring ourselves into each other.

His palm glides over my back and slips into my boxers. His fingers slide between my cheeks, seeking out my hole. I buck, reaching for his fingers while I suck on his tongue.

When Asher's finger grazes my hole, two things happen. I flex and open for his coming intrusion and—

And—

The image of Reece's mouth slams into my head, causing me to open up for Asher's fingers even more.

My body freezes and I rip my mouth away from Asher's. What's going on?

"You good?" Asher murmurs against my ear.

"Yeah," I gasp into his chest.

He reaches over me for the lube, flicks the cap open with one hand and, turning me onto my stomach, he allows the lube to drip directly onto my asshole. The cool sensation brings a moan to my lips and I lift my ass for more.

Again. The image of Reece's soft hands blasts through my head. Asher's finger sinks into me. I moan out loud and I can't be certain that it has nothing to do with these intrusive thoughts about Reece.

I bury my face into the pillow, dropping my hips back to the mattress. My heart thumps inside my chest.

Asher covers my back with his body. The warmth of his skin soothes me, but not much.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Asher asks against my nape.

"Nothing," I whisper.

He encourages me onto my back. "You're tired. Let me make you feel good and then you can get some sleep."

I nod desperately. Reece isn't just a passing thought anymore. His face fills my head, my mind conjuring up close-up images of his lips — that Asher once kissed. His hands— that Asher once held. His body — that Asher once touched. Made love to.

Asher slides my legs over his shoulders, leaning forward to kiss me, and enters me slowly.

I wrap my arms around him.

Reece's parted lips when he's concentrating flashes through my head. The smile on his face when I tell him he's done a good job stacking the logs or clearing up the trailers.

No. Stop.

I hide myself and my shameful thoughts in the crook of Asher's neck.

"Baby, something's wrong," Asher whispers in my ear. "Tell me what's wrong."

"It's nothing," I breathe against him.

Reece's hands, so soft and lovely.

"There is no decorum between us," he murmurs. He moves inside me, withdrawing slowly and then pushing back in with equal ease. My dick is hard and pressed between our stomachs, leaking for thoughts of Reece and the slide of Asher's cock inside me.

"I can't stop thinking about him, Asher," I blurt out, my words ending in a horrifying cry.

He stills. His cock swells inside me.

"Baby, no," he whispers.

"I'm sorry. You were right. We shouldn't have offered—"

He lifts his body a fraction. Just enough to force us to look at each other. "What have you been thinking about, sweetheart?" He asks. I search his face for anger. Judgment. There is none.

"He's just like you used to say."

Asher begins to move inside me again. My eyes drift closed for a moment to enjoy his slow fucking. Then, "He's so soft. So easy to talk to. So—"

Asher's eyes never leave mine. He touches my forehead with his. "So what, my love?"

"So beautiful , Asher. I'm so sorry."

He hits my prostate. My hips come off the bed, my ankles tighten around his shoulders. He drowns us in a kiss so wild all I can do is cry into his mouth for my shame.

Asher's hips jerk harder and faster while we kiss. "Baby. Sawyer, baby," he chants into my mouth.

As we fuck, wrapped up so tightly in each other, realization begins to hit me in small doses. Then larger ones. And then, larger still until I'm overcome by the knowledge that my husband is . . . turned on.

I lose my mind, flying right into the storm. And there I find Asher. It's chaos, and we're in the middle of it and we can't stop. I can't stop. We're not ourselves and it's fucking glorious, and I want it so badly. So badly.

Tearing my mouth from his, I pull him even closer to me. Then, turning so my mouth is near his ear, I whisper, "What was he like?"

Asher groans and I feel it in the jerk of my dick. I feel it in the clench of my ass around his cock.

"Tell me, Asher, sweetheart."

Asher fucks into me wildly. His words come out in passionate gasps. "He's not as shy as he seems, baby. He was so wild when we fucked. He liked to be talked through sex," he pants into my ear. "He liked to be told how good he is, how bad he is. How good he felt."

I'm not myself anymore. My balls tighten. I knew he'd be wild. "What else, Asher?"

Asher bites down on my jaw. Sweat drips from his forehead, wetting my face. I reach up to lick across his temple, taking his sweat into my mouth. "He liked to be called names."

"What names did you call him?" I turn my face to bite along his jaw.

"I called him my fucking slut. My perfect cock whore." Asher is close.

"What if—"

"No, baby. Don't—"

But I'm not myself. I can't stop. "What if he were here right now?" I blurt out.

Asher swells inside me.

"Would you fuck him?"

"Sawyer, baby—"

"Would you fuck him for me , Asher? Please, baby. Would you fuck him for me?" I'm so lost.

Asher bites down on my shoulder. I cry out for the sharp stab of pain. And as he comes, filling me with his semen, and I explode between us, our orgasms are driven forward and upward by that one word uttered in the dark. A shameful secret given birth between us in this one moment. " Yes ."