38. Mai

Chapter thirty-eight

Mai

I stood in the kitchen with Wally, watching the scene unfolding in the garden. Sam paced back and forth; his limp more pronounced with every step. He seemed oblivious to the pain, too caught up in his ranting to notice.

Ryan was trying to calm Sam down, his hands held up in a placating gesture, but so far, it looked like Sam wasn't having it.

Guilt gnawed at my stomach; I was the cause of this. I had chosen Sam without even discussing it with him first. I stood by my choice; Sam was one of the best of us and he'd kick ass on the Council. But I'd upended his life without a second thought, and I couldn't blame him for being angry.

Wally's voice pulled me from my thoughts. "Don't worry about Sam," he said, his tone reassuring. "He'll get over it. He's just a little surprised right now."

A little? That was an understatement.

I sighed, turning away from the window to face Wally. "I'm not so sure,."

"You did what you thought was best for the Pack, Mai. You did your job as Alpha. Sam knows that. He just needs some time to adjust to the idea."

I wanted to believe Wally, but the guilt was still slugging around in my stomach. Was this the type of Alpha I wanted to be? Moving members of my Pack around like pieces on a chessboard with no thought to their desires and feelings? Was this what it took to be an Alpha? Was I making the role my own, or was it molding me into someone I didn't recognize?

Wally interrupted my spiraling thoughts by placing a plate of food in front of me. "Eat," he ordered, his tone brooking no argument. "I'll make a proper meal when Amara gets back, but this'll do for now."

I raised my eyebrows at him, a small smirk playing on my lips. "Is that how you speak to your Alpha now, Wally?"

Wally gave me a look that clearly said he wasn't impressed. "Just like Thomas is in charge in there," Wally pointed down the corridor to the medical room, "in this kitchen, I'm in charge and I won't hear a word to say I'm not!"

He stood up tall, and even though he was only about five foot nine, with me sitting down he seemed for a moment to loom over me in the way I remembered Jem doing to me when we were little, and mom and dad had just died. He'd do the same thing, put food in front of me and order me to eat, standing over me to make sure I did it. I'd gone through a stage of not wanting to eat, not wanting to do anything after our parents died. Jem brought me back though, insisted on me eating, made me tag along with him whenever he went out. It didn't take long for me to realize that if I went with him, I'd get to see Ryan. Soon, I was waiting impatiently by the door before Jem was ready to leave .

I picked up the sandwich, ham by the smell of it, and without taking my eyes off Wally, I carefully put it in my mouth and chewed.

Wally's face lit up. "Good. You need to remember, Mai, our fearsome and beautiful leader, that in here, I get to take care of everyone. Especially you. You haven't stopped since you and Ryan took over as Alphas. I know Sylvie is doing a fine job, she always does, but when you are here, in my domain, I am not going to let her down. And especially, especially now..." He trailed off, giving me a pointed look. Oh my bloody Goddess, he was fattening me up in case I got pregnant anytime soon.

I wanted to shut this baby thing down now, but Wally wasn't wrong. I needed to take the time to stop and eat more regularly. I had been running myself ragged, trying to prove that I could be the Alpha my Pack needed.

I rolled my eyes but put another bite in my mouth.

The door slammed open and Sam came stomping into the kitchen, his face a mask of anger and frustration. He didn't even glance in my direction as he limped through the room, heading straight for the front door.

Ryan and Derek followed Sam in. We all watched as Sam disappeared through the door, letting it fall shut behind him.

"He'll come around," Ryan said. "Just give him time."

I nodded. I wanted to believe him, but I couldn't shake the feeling that Sam was never going to forgive me. There was no saying no to the Council. I hadn't left him any choice. He had three days to recover, put his affairs in order, work out what he and Mason were going to do with their PI agency and leave the Three Rivers .

A sound made me look up. Jem stood in the doorway. He looked even more frail than he did lying on the bed. He stared straight at me, his gaze boring into mine, and his voice was hoarse when he asked. "What the fuck did you do, Mai?"