20. Mai

Chapter twenty

Mai

" I t's time, Mai." Ryan said gently. "We need to sleep at the Alpha House tonight."

Er, no. I was so not ready for that yet.

He must have seen my answer on my face.

"It's okay. I have a plan."

"A plan? To get me to move in there?" I shook my head. "I love you, Ryan Shaw, but there is no plan in the whole fucking world that is going to make me want to go there instead of your bedroom."

He looked smug. "We'll see. Step one; get you relaxed."

He pulled off the main road and stopped at the edge of the forest. I sat there, not moving. From here, I could see the boundary of the Alpha Compound, and the top of the Alpha House. From here, it seemed to loom over us, taunting me with its memories.

Ryan opened my door and held out his hand. "Come on."

"What are we doing here?"

"Running."

I blinked. "Running?"

"When was the last time you Shifted, Mai? "

Oh. "I…I don't know."

"Exactly. You've been so caught up in becoming Alpha, so focussed on Jem and Brock, on ripple and what's it doing to all of us, that you're not taking care of yourself. You're a werewolf—"

"I know perfectly well what I am, Ryan."

"Do you?" he asked softly. "You're part wolf. You need to let her out, you need to keep yourself open to her. You're not just a human or a wolf, Mai. You're something special. A blend of the two, but that means you can't afford to ignore either side of yourself. If you do, you'll slowly become weaker, you'll feel incomplete. You want to be a good Alpha? You need to be whole, to embrace every part of who you are."

See? Good mate. Clever mate.

My wolf agreed, and I realized with a startling clarity that they were right. I'd been so caught up in the chaos and drama of the mess that was our lives recently that I had neglected my wolf, pushed her aside, even when she'd been telling me what I needed.

"Fuck. I really hate it when you're right."

Ryan smirked at me. "No, you don't."

I glared at him, knowing he was right. Again.

"You ready?" he asked.

Yes, my wolf replied.

Ryan stepped back, stripped and began to Shift, his body blurring as it reformed into the shape of a massive, gray wolf. His fur was thick and lush, gleaming in the dappled sunlight that filtered through the trees.

I closed my eyes, reaching deep within myself to find my own wolf. She was there, waiting, eager to be set free. I let her take control and felt my bones crack and muscles stretch and shrink, reshaping themselves. My skin felt like one big itch for a moment as fur sprouted along my body. Then it was over; I was standing on four paws, my senses sharpened, and my mind focussed solely on the rhythms of the forest.

My wolf chuffed in happiness, and took off running, paws pounding against the soft earth, Ryan following close behind. The stress and worry that seemed part of me, now fell with each stride, replaced by a pure, unadulterated joy of not thinking, not plotting or planning, but just being here, in the moment. The wind ruffled through my fur, carrying with it the scents of the forest—rich soil, leaves that were starting their autumnal changes, small animals scurrying through the underbrush.

I ran and ran, following the trails left by my Pack. I could smell them here, the threads of other werewolves, following the same path over and over again. It was comforting, knowing my Pack had come this way for hundreds of years. I ran until my lungs burned and my muscles ached, until I felt like a part of my soul had been filled up, the missing piece clicking back into place. I was whole again, human and wolf, Alpha and Pack member, all parts of myself working together.

Lost in the simple pleasure of the run, I almost didn't notice Ryan coming up fast behind me until he pounced, his larger form crashing into my back and sending us both tumbling to the ground in a tangle of fur and limbs. I leaped to my feet, shaking off the impact, and saw Ryan standing a few feet away, his tail wagging and his tongue lolling in a wolfish grin.

Oh, so that's how he wanted to play it? I bared my teeth in a playful snarl and took off, darting between the trees and leaping over fallen logs. I could hear Ryan behind me, his paws thudding against the ground as he gave chase.

We wove through the forest, a game of chase that made my heart sing with wild abandon. It felt so right; this was where I belonged, with the feel of the earth beneath my paws, the rush of the wind past my ears, the thrill of being pursued by my mate.

Of course, I couldn't just let him win.

I zipped past a dense thicket, veered left then right; doubling back, lying in wait. As Ryan came barreling past, I leaped out, catching him by surprise and sending us both rolling across a patch of soft moss. The look of shock on his lupine face was priceless, and I let out a yip of triumph.

Got you.

He huffed, and I bounded away, my tail held high in a clear challenge. I heard him get to his feet and dart after me.

My wolf grinned. She was already thinking of how to lay the next trap for him.