39. Adrianna

ADRIANNA

One class blurs into another and another, and thankfully, Raiden relents. A little. Much to Kryll's amusement. As I take my seat between the pair of them, my lunch tray in hand, I barely get my ass in my seat before they're both touching me.

I should push back, move, and get the space that my mind knows I need, but my body refuses, loving the warmth that surrounds me from both of them. Raiden's arm is around the back of my chair, laying claim to me for everyone to see, while Kryll's hand rests on my thigh, his thumb stroking back and forth discreetly.

Brody isn't missing out from across the table either, with his ankle pressed against mine, while Cassian excels at ignoring me like always. He's the whole reason I'm sitting here. I'm trapped in this web of desire because of him, forced at this table to suit his needs, yet he continues to ignore me.

Classic.

I should appreciate it. At least I can think in his presence.

"What has you glaring?" the wolf in question asks from across the table, eyes narrowed at me, and I shake my head.

"Nothing," I answer sharply, letting my cutlery clatter on my now-empty plate. Turning my attention to Flora, I nod to the exit. "Do you want to head to class?"

"Yes," she answers, rising to her feet with Arlo right at her side, and the second I stand, Raiden and Brody follow suit.

"I'm coming," the mage declares from across the table, making Raiden grumble.

"I was talking to my friend," I state slowly, pointing at Flora, and they both scoff.

"I can walk by your side, Adrianna, or do the whole stalker thing that you like so much," Raiden offers, causing my nostrils to flare with irritation.

More than that, I'm annoyed with myself for giving him the ability to wield such a threat over my head. Fucker. "Whatever," I grumble, rushing to Flora's side.

I link my arm through hers, the move feeling strange since it's usually the other way around, but she takes the hint and starts marching through the dining room. The chuckles that bubble from her throat make me give her the stink eye, but that only makes her laugh more, and she thankfully ups her pace.

Cutting through the grounds, I'm on edge, waiting for someone, Vallie specifically, to appear out of nowhere, jabbing her finger at me and causing more drama since Raiden hasn't been shy around me, but she's nowhere to be seen.

Something is coming from her, though. I know it. If what he said was true, if he's really backing out of their deal, she's going to have her sights set on me even more than before.

"Come in. Hurry. We're taking a little field trip, and the quicker you all gather, the quicker we can get there," the professor calls out from the door to his classroom, waving everyone inside.

"Field trip? Yes, please," Arlo says, rubbing his hands together as he slips into the room ahead of us. Flora rolls her eyes at him, but there's still something in her gaze that hasn't shifted since I first saw it.

Friday can't come soon enough, and hopefully she will be comfortable enough to confide in me, and I can pretend to have my shit together enough to be of help to her.

Filing into the room, no one takes their seats since we're not staying. Raiden, Brody, Kryll, and Cassian are right behind us. Smoldering gazes turn to irritated glares as I glance between them before turning my attention to the professor.

"We're going to spend the afternoon where you all really want to be. Can anyone tell me where that is?"

"The beach?" Grant hollers, high-fiving his friends, who chuckle at him.

"Nice try, but no," the professor replies with a sigh. "Anyone else?"

"The castle," I breathe, chest tightening at the thought as the professor nods in agreement.

"Exactly. Now, pair up. Don't make me do it for you," he grumbles, adjusting the glasses on the bridge of his nose.

Arlo instantly drapes an arm around Flora, tugging her into his side, leaving me to stare at the three guys looking at me.

Brody. Raiden. Kryll.

I twist my lips, my pulse quickening as I take in their intense looks, but before I can think better of it, I sidestep them all and brush my shoulder against Cassian.

"You're being my partner," I declare, not actually looking at him, and I feel his stare on the side of my face.

"I am?"

"You are," I repeat, not backing down. The fact that he doesn't immediately shove me away feels positive.

"Do I want to know why?" he asks, and I shake my head. "Amuse me," he pushes, and I know he won't relent until I do, so I give in quicker than I would like in order to get it over with.

"You're the only one that's going to give me a minute to breathe." I can feel my blood pressure rise, my face tingling with the sensation as he scoffs.

"Please, girls love the attention."

"Girls also like it when you're not a complete asshole one hundred percent of the time, but what would I know?" I retort, finally turning to him with my eyebrow raised in question.

He offers me a pointed look in return. "I thought you came here for peace?"

"Then shut the fuck up," I grumble, turning back to the professor.

"Okay, if we're all ready… perfect. We won't be using magic to transport us this afternoon. We have legs, and there's no reason we can't use them," he explains. "Besides, I feel you get the true effect of Floodborn Castle when you approach it from the City of Harrows on foot," he adds, his eyes glazing over with a wistful gleam.

Surprisingly, no one argues as we follow him out onto campus and toward the main gates. I chance a glance over my shoulder to see Brody and Kryll have paired up, leaving Raiden to be with… fucking Vallie.

I watch as she tries to grab his arm and he swiftly moves it out of her reach, making her pout, but he doesn't see it; his sights are set on me. He gives me a dark, pointed look as if to confirm that it's my fault he's having to deal with her, and I quickly turn back around, refusing to acknowledge any more drama from him today.

We take our time leaving the campus and entering the City of Harrows. Passersby stop and stare at us, the colors of our cloaks making us stand out, and the murmurs of the Heir Academy students being among them ripple through the city like an undercurrent.

Once we reach the other side of the city, a long, windy path comes into view and my steps falter. The professor was right. The view of the castle as we take the sloped path is breathtaking and completely overwhelming all at once.

Its jagged peaks, the long and thin windows, and the stained glass that decorates each window are spectacular.

I feel breathless as we approach the large, arched, black, wrought-iron doors of the castle, and it's not from the incline to get up here. No. It's the fear of what lies inside.

Will I remember any of it?

Do I want to remember any of it?

I won't know until I step through those doors, but I can't deny the panic that threatens to make me run in the opposite direction.

"I'm glad you're all still with me," the professor states, turning to face us. "When we step inside, I will offer a guided tour through a few parts of the ground floor and take you to see the royal suite upstairs. After that, you'll have some time to explore the halls yourselves, but I swear to you, if anything is damaged by any of you, I'll wipe the mess up with your damn head. Do you understand?"

Agreement parts everyone's lips as we nod in understanding before he takes a step back and opens the doors with a flourish.

Following the crowd inside, my heart thunders in my ears as I step over the threshold of the castle with a silent Cassian at my side. My gaze darts around the open entryway, trying to recognize anything, but I come up empty. Our footsteps echo off the floor as we follow the professor through the wide hallway until he moves into a room on the right.

My gut twists and a sense of disappointment washes over me as I try with everything that I am to remember something… anything.

"This is the kitchen. It looks like any kitchen really, likely on a much grander scale, of course, but otherwise, it services the castle just as any kitchen does," the professor explains, waving his arms around the dated space. Dark wood cabinets line the walls, with a matching small table tucked away in a small nook. Chrome fittings have started to rust since it has sat here unattended for so many years, and the windows along the far wall are so dusty you can barely see through them. "What sets this kitchen apart are the secret passageways that lead from this room. The entire castle is riddled with them. Can anyone spot an access point?"

Everyone's gazes dart around the room, looking for something. Everyone except the man beside me. "Show me."

I blink at Cassian, who raises a questioning brow at me, and I shake my head.

"I can't remember anything," I breathe, shuffling around the gathered students to try and get a better look as a few others do, but still, nothing stands out.

"Princess Adrianna?" the professor calls out, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end at the formal address, and I turn to face him with a forced smile.

"Just Addi is fine," I reply as calmly as I can. A few students curse slurs under their breath, but I try my best to ignore them.

"Can you show us one?"

Fuck.

How hadn't I considered that he would do that? Pressing my lips together, my eyes dance around the room. I can't come up empty-handed, I can't look weak right now, and I already feel vulnerable enough being inside these walls without any recollection.

Silently pleading with the castle before me, I beg for something to reveal itself.

My feet carry me toward the small table and chairs set up in the nook. My fingers run over the side panel of the wall instinctively, and it almost feels as if I've done that before. Inching closer, I feel a little wiggle room behind the board and press my palm firmly against it in the bottom right corner.

At my touch, the panel swings open on hinges, revealing a small passageway you would have to crawl through. Relief seeps from my shoulders as the professor claps, making me cringe.

I might not know where it leads, but I seem to be more in tune with the castle than I initially thought.

"Excellent, Addi. Let's continue to the ballroom, shall we?" The professor exclaims, pointing for everyone to step back out into the hallway.

"I thought you couldn't remember?" Cassian murmurs, appearing at my side, and I shrug.

"I couldn't."

"You're telling me that was a lucky guess."

"I'm not telling you anything because you wouldn't believe me anyway," I grumble, rolling my eyes at him as I follow the crowd.

The ballroom is very similar to the one at the academy, large, grand, and luxurious, but it needs some tending to in order to restore it to its former glory.

From there, we swiftly move into the meeting room. Parchments are still stacked on the huge table in the center of the room. Chairs are scattered, not tucked in, with a few overturned. Crimson stains mark the wood at the head of the table where the king would sit, and my blood runs cold.

Nothing has been moved since it was last in use, which would mean it hasn't been touched since my father was here. My chest aches, it's clenched so tight. I instinctively take a step toward the blood stain, but a hand on my arm halts my movement. Peering over my shoulder, I frown at Cassian, who shakes his head.

"Don't hurt yourself by going there, Alpha," he rasps. I press my lips together, uncertainty tormenting me as I consider his words.

If I go down there and get a closer look, all I'm going to do is feel rage and anger over something that happened a long time ago. Going down there will reignite a fiery vengeance that doesn't need any more fuel as I tread a fine line of remaining a civilized fae. If I go down there, everything I've worked so hard to achieve will shatter.

He's right.

"Please get me out of here," I whisper, hating how vulnerable my voice sounds. If he notices, he doesn't say a word as he pulls me toward the door. I slump against the wall outside, my heart racing in my chest as I gather myself. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

I take a deep breath, standing tall again as I roll my shoulders back just as the professor steps back into the hallway.

"Let's take a look at the royal suite before you explore on your own, but remember my warning," he calls out, heading back to the front entryway where the grand double staircase leads to the second floor.

I run my hand over the banister as I head upstairs, no memory coming to mind, not even as we trek down the hallway to a set of double doors at the very end. My lips twist as I consider if it's worth stepping in there, knowing it was my father who occupied those four walls last. As the professor opens the doors, I calm a little when I realize it remains tidy and untouched. No remnants of a struggle or blood tainting the space.

"This will be the king or queen's bedroom when the time comes. Embrace it." His eyelids fall to half-mast as he takes a deep breath in through his nose, dropping his arms at his side. "We shall meet back at the main doors in one hour. Don't touch anything," he orders, dismissing everyone.

Stepping away from the room, I press myself against the wall, letting everyone else pass as I exhale slowly. "You can do as you please," I murmur to Cassian, who shrugs.

"I'm good."

I don't answer, looking at the other doors that line the far wall to my right. I come to a stop outside of one that hasn't been opened, and a human rolls their eyes at me. "That one doesn't seem to open," she grumbles, and I nod, but I can't help but run my hand over the wooden panels that decorate it.

There's something about it that just?—

My hand grazes over the door handle, and an audible clicking echoes around us before it falls open.

"You just unraveled some magic right there," the girl whispers in awe. "Do you think… do you think that could have been your room?" she adds, eyes wide as I gape at her. It's only when Cassian steps between us, effectively dismissing her as he grips my chin and turns my face up to look at him that I remember to breathe.

"Do you want to go in or not?" he asks, searching my gaze for the answer my mouth can't find.

Running my tongue over my bottom lip, I nod subtly before pressing my hand against the door. My gaze darts around the room, a sense of familiarity vibrating through my bones as I step into the space, and Cassian is quick to follow after me, shutting the door behind us so no one can follow.

That girl was right. This was my room. Not just mine. Nora's too.

My father has mentioned so many times before that our love for one another is rooted in the castle. Our friendship and bond wasn't strengthened because of our trauma; it was already there. All the rooms in the castle and we wouldn't sleep unless we were in the same one.

Moving into the center of the space, I cast my eyes over everything. It's like yin and yang. One half is smattered in pinks and purples, color popping everywhere, from the bed sheets to the children's colorings pinned to the wall. While the other half is bleaker. Blacks, whites, and grays. Pictures of soldiers and past monarchs are framed on the walls over gray bed sheets, and I know exactly whose side was whose.

I'm drawn toward Nora's bed, the pink floral-patterned sheets pristine despite how long it's been. Whatever magic was protecting this room was clearly working in more ways than one.

Running my fingers over the bedding, my heart feels like it's about to burst, and I all but collapse onto the bed, trying to catch my breath.

"Are you okay?" Cassian asks, but any snarky response I have for him is halted as my eyelids fall closed and a memory flutters to my mind.

Nora is laughing beside me, kicking her legs gleefully as my chest aches and a similar laugh explodes from my lips.

"I'm coming to get you."

"Quick, Nora. Under the covers," I order, trying to calm my laughter to help her tug the sheets back, but it's not as easy as I hope.

"I can hear two little flowers chuckling. Is it you?" The woman's voice is full of joy, playfulness, and… love. "Here I come in three… two… one…"

Just as soon as I tug the cover over our head, it's ripped away, and we squeal in delight. Delicate fingers tickle at our tummies, making us writhe beneath her, and I blink up to see the wide eyes of my mother.

Opening my eyes, I lurch from the bed, my heart galloping so wildly in my chest, I'm certain I may be sick.

"Addi?"

I find Cassian blinking at me in confusion, a hand outstretched toward me, but I'm so overcome with the emotions weighing heavy on my chest that I can't form a response.

Swiping at my cheeks, I'm not surprised to feel them wet, but it doesn't stop the embarrassment from consuming me.

"Alpha?" Cassian pushes, taking a step toward me, but I quickly move away from him, rushing to the window. There, I plant my hands on the ledge, my chin dropping to my chest as I try to calm the swell of pain and allow the sense of happiness to take over.

I take a deep breath, then another, and another, but they're short, sharp pants that do nothing to settle the storm inside of me.

"Addi, breathe," Cassian murmurs, stroking small circles at the base of my spine, and I shake my head.

"Can't," I croak, making the panic rise even more.

"You can," he insists, spinning me to face him. I'm helpless in his grasp as he reaches for my hands. Silently, he places one against his chest, right above his heart, while he circles the other around his throat.

I frown at him in confusion, unable to form a question, but I don't need to. I can feel the rhythm of his heart beating beneath my palm. My hand at his throat feels the rhythm of his breathing as his pulse pitter patters against my skin.

"Let's get you out of here," he murmurs after a while, and I nod in agreement. "Do you want to walk, or do you want me to make it quick?"

"Quick," I rasp, unable to fix my eyes on a single thing in the room now.

At my request, he rushes us outside. Glancing around at the open space, I take a more clearing deep breath as his hands remain at my waist.

"I used the back door to avoid the gathering crowd," he murmurs, spiking my heart rate as I take a look at where we are—where we really are.

The tree line in the distance garners my attention immediately as my throat bobs and a pained cry parts my lips.

"What's wrong?" Cassian asks, grabbing my chin to force my face to his, and my eyes widen in panic.

"It was here. It was here," I chant, barely louder than a whisper, as terror floods my veins.

"What was?"

I shake my head, covering my ears, unable to answer, but the moment his eyes flick to my ears, I know he knows.

"Fuck," he grunts, pressing me to his chest again before he takes off. We don't go far. He stops by the front doors of the castle, pressing his forehead to mine as he sighs. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"I know," I murmur, my breath becoming jagged again, and he strokes a hand down my back.

"Just breathe, Addi," he says soothingly, just as he did upstairs, but the overwhelming bubble of emotion subsides.

"I'm okay," I breathe, and he leans back to peer into my eyes.

"Are you sure?"

I nod, my mind in a state of chaos with everything, but I know one thing to be certain more than anything. Turning my attention to Cassian, I exhale slowly as I try to find the words. "I want to see my mother."

"You want me to call my father?" he asks, brows furrowing in a mixture of surprise and confusion.

"No," I breathe, shaking my head, and understanding flickers in his eyes.

"Incognito?"

"Yes."

He stares at me. Like really stares at me before he nods. "I can make it happen."

"When?"

"Tonight."