12. Ollie

CHAPTER 12

Ollie

My fucking mind was absolutely blown. Not only mine, but every other fucker in the room who just heard firsthand what a shit husband I had been even before the cheating incident. It killed me to acknowledge Steve’s question because I couldn’t recall what kind of car my wife drove. Whenever we went places together as a family, it was always in my Land Rover. The times Steph and I went to functions together without Den, we took my Audi.

Steph’s vehicle was a blue SUV. That was all I knew. “Fuck. How did this happen?”

“Sounds like a whole lot of neglect on your part,” My wife’s twin answered. I wanted to punch the motherfucker in the mouth to shut him up but he wasn’t wrong.

“It also sounds like your sister failed to communicate any issues she had with her husband.” Caleb corrected Steve immediately, though it fell flat as a response, as it should.

“And you already heard her explain why she never bothered to tell him shit.”

“Do I really need to be here for y’all’s dick swinging competition? I’m exhausted, depressed, angry, and heartbroken. None of those things are great for pregnancy but all the added stress and drama is even less so.”

“Sorry, Sis.” Her twin was the first to apologize and she gave him a stiff nod in response.

“Sorry, Precious. I promise to fix everything.”

She didn’t even bother to respond to me, not that I blamed her. Hell, my wife hadn’t even looked in my direction since I got to the house.

“Why do you always do that?” I glanced around to see that my wife had addressed Caleb.

“Do what?”

She scoffed at him. “It’s a funny thing, having the rug pulled out from underneath your feet. It makes you question all the strange things that you wrote off as weird ticks or odd nuances that weren’t your business. I’ll probably regret knowing the answer, but I need it just the same now.”

“Sorry, Steph, I really don’t know what you’re asking,” Caleb explained.

“Every time Ollie calls me Precious, you wince like it means something bad.”

Oh shit. Please, please, don’t tell her.

Caleb looked guilty as fuck, and that was bullshit because normally he had a poker face that would work to bluff Satan himself.

“I don’t…” He started and then stopped, as if to collect his thoughts. All he managed was to dig the hole a little deeper. Steph crossed her arms over her chest and as it pulled her shirt tighter two things became very obvious. One – her tits had grown. A lot. She had to be two cup sizes larger than she was the last time I noticed them, which was months ago.

Two – Her belly was slightly rounded in a way it never had been before. I stared at it in awe until she seemed to notice that Caleb hadn’t given her an answer yet and I didn’t appear to be paying attention.

“Your belly popped,” I said.

She immediately dropped her arms, so her flowy shirt covered up the evidence of her pregnancy. I hated myself for speaking because it meant she took the view away from me. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew she had to be pretty far along already since it had been almost close to four months since we were together last, but it didn’t really register until now. That meant we only had four or five months left to get things ready. I wasn’t sure exactly how far along my wife’s pregnancy was because she’d never shared that information with me. Worse, I hadn’t even thought to ask the damn question.

“Well?” Steph questioned with the tap of her foot. Caleb grabbed the back of his neck and hung his head, but couldn’t bring himself to answer. For the first time all evening, Steph’s eyes drifted to mine. “How about you? Can you enlighten me as to why your best friend always seems embarrassed for me whenever you call me Precious?”

“Steph, the meaning behind that endearment has changed for me over time.”

“Well, it never changed for me. It always meant something sweet and special, but I can see that it was just another joke at my expense that I missed, so get it out in the open, Ollie.”

The other three men in the room stood there with differing emotions on their faces. Steve was rightfully pissed, Caleb was red with embarrassment and looked like he wished the floor would open and swallow him whole. Hutch had a smug smirk on his face as he arched his eyebrow at me in challenge. The bastard knew it wouldn’t go well for me.

“When we first married, Caleb made an off the cuff remark about how sweet and precious you were. After that, I called you Precious because you were so damn clueless about everything. It was “precious” that you were so innocent and,” I really hated to say this last part, but I did it anyway. “Gullible.”

Steph nodded and kept a stoic look on her face as she glanced at each of us. “So, it was always a joke about my naivety and not an endearment. Got it.”

“No, Steph. I told you that changed. You felt how it changed the last time…” I cut myself off there because I wouldn’t talk about the one time I made love to my wife during our marriage in front of the others.

“Yeah,” She chuckled. “Finish that statement, Ollie.” When I didn’t add to it, she did. “The last time we had sex.”

“Made love,” I corrected.

Steph shook her head. “No, it was never that. So, you want me to believe that something changed after that time and that your false endearment meant what it should have all along then, right?” I nodded because the words were stuck somewhere in my throat, lodged around the big ball of self-loathing that was stuck there.

“Yep, well, considering that was almost four months ago now, and it was the last time you touched me because you were too busy fucking your ex-girlfriend, I think we’ll write that one off as another lie.”

“I’m not lying.”

“Well, this precious girl wouldn’t know the difference, would she?”

Steph stomped off toward the stairs then.

My fucking heart was shattered at hearing that. The problem is, she wasn’t wrong, but she should have been. I should have protected her innocence. My wife had never been jaded by the world around her until I scarred her heart and made her question everything. My dalliance with Julia wasn’t even close to my first failing as a husband. My offenses continued to stack up and the weight of them always seemed to land on Steph.

“I know you don’t have any reason to believe me about anything, but I need you to know that I really have been working on saving my company and helping the district attorney prove his case against Julia. If I’d know these issues existed, they would have come first.” I sighed when she didn’t even turn back to acknowledge what I’d said. “First thing tomorrow, I will go to the bank and find out why you never received a card, because I did order one along with checks that had both of our names on them.”

I pulled the bank app back up on my phone and held it out for her to see, but again she didn’t bother looking, so I held it up for her brother to look at. “Your name has been on the account the entire time. I didn’t lie about that. I guess I dropped the ball and never made sure you had what you needed, but Steph, you never told me you didn’t have access to it. I would have fixed it long ago if I’d known.”

Finally, she glanced back and offered a single nod before she looked away again. “You never told me when your next appointment is. I’d really like to-”

“It was earlier today.”

“You were supposed to tell me.”

“I haven’t heard from you in two weeks. You said you’d fix everything the last time we spoke. Everything has gotten worse for me while nothing came from you but the silent treatment. Why in the world would I bend over backward to invite you to my doctor’s appointment when your presence would have meant a bigger issue there, and you can’t even call to make sure everything is going okay here?”

I turned a glare on my best friend in response to that. “You said to give her space for a couple weeks while we worked on everything. I thought that was her request that came through that asshole!” I stabbed a finger in Hutch’s general direction.

Steph began to laugh, startling the rest of us. “God save me from men who are supposedly working with my best interest in mind. I’m going to bed. All three of you can see yourselves out.”

“We need to see proof that you are taking the financial aspects of the prenup seriously.” Hutch stated once my wife made her way upstairs. It was good that he kept his voice low, so I wouldn’t have to break his damn jaw.

“Obviously, she’ll be taken care of,” I groused.

Hutch chuckled in that dark way that was absent of any real humor. “You’ve done such a bang up job of it for your whole marriage that you’ll have to forgive me for asking to see proof of those efforts.”

“I knew you were using my sister from the start, so I’m not as shocked as she is by the ‘precious’ bullshit, but I thought she was at least being taken care of for her trouble. I figured, if nothing else, she would have a hell of a nest egg in her savings account whenever she finally realized what you were really about. You fucked her financially too, though.”

“I didn’t know!” I yelled at him before lowering my voice so we didn’t disturb Steph further than we already had. This whole time I thought she was spending out of the joint account I set up for all the household and family expenses.”

“We’ll get all the finances sorted. I already turned in the paperwork to re-deed the house in Steph’s name only. The car note will get paid off as soon as you get me the financial details on that. Ollie already said he would find out what happened at the bank. I’ll go with him, as his lawyer, to get to the bottom of that.”

“The money in that account is already owed to my client,” Hutch needled. “You need to provide for your son moving forward as well. I suggest a good will gesture to help out on top of that, considering your actions cost your wife her job and her ability to get any other work for the foreseeable future.”

“It will all be taken care of. Are we done here?” I asked.

Hutch nodded and I turned to go check on Steph. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, Steve reached out to stop me.

“Can’t let you disturb her peace tonight.”

“I just want to check on her.”

Steve shook his head and moved closer. “This is not the time. She needs to process the bullshit thrown at her today and seeing you again is not going to add to her peace, asshole. It’s going to further upset her.”

“That’s what I’ve been told for the last two weeks, and now, my wife thinks I broke another promise. That I don’t care. I’m not listening to anyone else tell me that I can or can’t see my own fucking wife again.”

“Ask yourself if it will benefit her or if you going there tonight is only a selfish move on your part.”

That stopped me in my tracks.

“Give her the night to process everything. Explain yourself tomorrow when you come back with the bank account fixed and available for her use. The stress relief will likely make her more amenable to having a conversation with you.”

“Why did you make sure I knew about the pregnancy?”

“Because before I learned my sister was paying for everything, I never doubted your love for your son or dedication to him. My sister’s child deserves a father like that too. Plus, you needed to step up and take responsibility for her health and safety, at least while she’s growing your child and taking care of your other son for you.”

“I was going to hire a bodyguard for now until things calmed down, but I’m not sure how feasible that will be. My business has taken a hit as well. While I’m sure you’re happy I’m suffering all the consequences for cheating on your sister, the hits to my business trickle down to my family. It’s part of why I’ve been out of touch for two weeks. I’ve been putting out fires and making deals to keep from going bankrupt.

Steve nodded. “Seems like your ex managed to throw everyone’s lives into chaos. Let’s hope you can fix it.”

“I have to. I can’t live without her.”

“Sure you can. My sister already considers Den as her own, so you don’t have to worry about losing your childcare.”

“That’s not why I can’t live without her. I love her and know exactly what I stand to lose here.”

“Too bad you didn’t realize that before you stuck your dick in a woman who is not your wife.”

“I’m paying for my fuck up.”

“If you were the only one paying for it, I’d let it go. My sister and your son are living with the consequences of your actions. My sister more so than anyone else, since she has lost the most and has been painted as a villain in this situation when we all know she’s the innocent victim here. Maybe we should say the precious victim because you might understand that better,” Steve sneered before he pointed me toward my own fucking front door.

Since there was no chance of speaking with my wife, I went to my parents’ house to go see my son. I didn’t expect an entirely warm welcome from my parents, but my son’s reaction surprised me.

“Son.” My father stated sharply as he stepped aside and allowed me into his home.

“Where’s Den?”

“Kitchen with your mom.” I took a step in that direction but stopped when my dad tossed a hand on my shoulder. “Think you should prepare yourself.”

“For what?”

“Your son’s wrath.”

“My son’s…?” I didn’t even get the full question out when Denmark’s voice rang out angrily through the room.

“What is he doing here?” When I turned, it was to see my boy standing in the doorway to the kitchen with his fists balled up and face flushed red with emotion.

“I came to see you.”

“Why?” That one question felt like a ton of bricks buried me right there in my parents’ living room.

“What do you mean? I’m your dad. You’re my son. I’m supposed to see you. Plus, I missed you, Bud.”

My boy rolled his eyes and then rolled his shoulders back as if he was geared up for a fight. That was exactly what he was doing.

“You’re supposed to come home every night but you don’t. You haven’t come to see me in a long time. My mom cries because you don’t come home. She’s really sad when she should be happy but you keep ruining it.”

It took me a minute to understand he was talking about Steph. In my mind, Julianna had always been his mother. That had only been true the day she gave birth to our boy, though. The rest had been memories of my fantasies – how I always thought it should have been between us after she told me she was pregnant.

“I just came from the house and talked to your mom.”

“No!” My son shouted at me. “That evil woman is NOT my mom! Steph is my mom. She is my only mom and you can’t tell me she’s not anymore.”

It took four painful steps to get to my boy before I could pull his fighting, squirming body into my embrace.

“No. I don’t want you to be my dad! You don’t love us. You don’t love me. You only love her. That other woman.” It took a minute to realize he was no longer fighting me and the movements I felt were from his body shaking through the sobs he could no longer control.

What the fuck had I done to our family?

“I just came from our house where I talked to Steph, your mom.” I reiterated the last part, so he would understand she was who I had been talking about all along.

“Why do you love that lady more than us?”

“What?” I asked, not understanding.

“Why did you leave us for that lady who never wanted me?”

I picked my son up and walked him to the couch. Once we were seated with my boy cradled on my lap and his head against my chest, I squeezed him in a tight hug.

“I do not love Julianna. I made a mistake with her because from the time she became pregnant with you, there were all these dreams in my head about how perfect our little family would be. I wanted you to have a mom and a dad who loved you with all their hearts.”

“I did have that,” Den argued.

“Yeah, bud. I see that now. Sometimes, adults get confused too. I thought it didn’t count unless that love came from the two people who made you.”

“That’s dumb. Kelly’s moms adopted her. Josh has two moms and two dads and they all love him.”

I couldn’t help my chuckle. My kid was far smarter than me. “I understand that now, Son. It’s hard to give up on a dream you wished for over a long period of time. Sometimes, you don’t see that your dream changed a bit, or that it’s even better than the original. It took Julianna doing something very bad for me to realize how good Steph had been to both of us.”

“That’s dumb too. Stupid Jia ran away from us. My mom is always there.” We sat quietly a moment before he spoke again. “Except pick-ups at school. She can’t be there anymore because of all the cameras.” Denmark scrambled off my lap. “That’s your fault and Jia’s.”

“You’re right. It is and that’s why I’ve been gone. I’ve been busy trying to make sure Jia pays for the trouble she caused.”

“Are you going to pay, too?”

My heart broke even further than it ever had before. “I am already paying, buddy. It hurts me a lot not to be able to come home to you and your mom. It makes my heart hurt to know Steph can’t go to the school right now. I’m sorry that I hurt our family but I’m working to fix it.”

“What if you can’t?”

If I hadn’t been sitting, I’d probably have fallen to the floor in pure agony. It was obvious by his worried tone that Denmark didn’t think it was possible to fix the things I had broken.

“I’m going to do my best. If Stephanie can’t forgive me, then we’ll have to figure things out.”

“She is my mom. Miss Luanne said if you get divorced from Steph, she can’t be my mom anymore. I don’t want that. Why would she leave me?”

I fucked my family up so badly. Seeing the damage through Steph and my son’s eyes made me understand exactly what Steve said to me. They both suffered far more because of my actions and inactions than anyone else.

“Miss Luanne had no right to say those things to you and I will put a stop to that tomorrow. As for Steph – she will always be your mom. Of course, she wants you.”

Den shook his head. “Miss Luanne said she couldn’t be my mom anymore and then Grammy picked me up and said I was staying with her.”

I glanced up at my parents’ horror-stricken faces and felt like an even bigger piece of shit.

“Miss Luanne was wrong, Den. Grammy picked you up and planned to keep you for one night only, so Steph and I could talk about some things. She didn’t want you to see that she was angry with me. One of the things we talked about was you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, buddy. I’m having adoption papers drawn up, so Steph can legally be considered your mom and no one can tell either of you different.” I hadn’t been given the option to tell Steph that, but I was sure that Caleb had passed on that information to Hutch. Technically, I wasn’t lying to my son. It would happen. “Steph is already your mom in all the ways that count and she fought for you to stay in her life even if she no longer wants me there.”

“If you can never come home, what happens?”

“If we get a divorce, you’ll spend time with Steph and time with me. I really hope that doesn’t happen though.”

“Yeah, me too.” My boy admitted. “But my mom is really sad and if you make her that way, then I can tell her it’s okay with me to visit you somewhere else.”

A few months ago, my son might have phrased that differently. Hearing him mention only visiting me to spare Steph further hurt felt like another punch to the solar plexus. It knocked the wind out of me just as effectively.

“I promise to do my very best not to hurt you or your mom through my actions anymore.”