Chapter Eleven

Shelby

The nap did me a world of good, but when I woke, River was gone. Instead of him by my side, several department store bags had been left at the foot of the bed.

A prick of annoyance rose as I went through them. The clothes were nice, and most were what I’d have probably chosen for myself pre-Dirk, but I hadn’t been allowed to get them myself. What I was wearing had to have come from somewhere, and I supposed they were better than a hospital gown... It just would have been nice to have some input.

Determined not to be ungrateful, I kept sorting until I came to black lace. I dropped it like I’d been burned and squeezed my eyes shut, but that only gave the memory a chance to take hold. Desperately trying to avoid a panic attack, I all but jumped up and, ignoring my throbbing ribs, ran for the bathroom.

I flicked on the cold water and let it slowly go from cool to icy as I held my hands under it and stared into the mirror. That bitch Nina could burn in hell. There was little doubt I’d have eventually triggered Dirk’s cruelty, but I couldn’t help but blame her.

She’d known.

Not only known, but participated, and she had made fun of me the whole time. Belittled me and tried to take my place, down to wearing the same underthings. Another shudder shook me thanks to the replay in my mind—Dirk sliding her panties down before he slid his dick into her ass.

No. I’m not doing this.

I refused to allow myself to sink back into the mire of misery that tried to dig its claws into me at every turn. The slowly fading scars on my face were a testament to my ability to survive. I would not end up like Mama had.

By the time I had myself under enough control to face the bag of clothes, my hands were aching and bright red. At first, it was hard to take the tags off and fold them with my stiff fingers, but after a few minutes, piles were waiting to go into drawers. Getting to the next bag, I found hygiene products. Another held make-up.

It seemed someone had stocked me up. I could only assume one or both of the cousins had done it. Certainly no one else would have taken the time to play personal shopper? I was having a hard time reconciling the attentive men with their position of being my jailors. From all appearances, they cared, and despite their explanation of “just because,” I couldn’t quite understand why. They still wouldn’t let me go if I asked, so the situation was as uncomfortable as it was novel. I wouldn’t get in trouble for…anything really. My fits were taken mostly in stride, and I was offered comfort if I would accept it. Even Mama had been harsh in comparison.

Confused by the whole thing, I thought maybe I should take my time at the lodge to not only heal but to gather information. There was a reason I was being held, Rafe had said as much. I was already working on a plan to get out and disappear, so it couldn’t hurt to make the most of however long I had left with the men who had become something like friends. I’d just have to be careful not to get too attached—or be too trusting.

Decisions made, I set out to find dinner. The hallway was cool with the air conditioning on, and I thought about turning around to get something with long sleeves before reconsidering that the dining room and kitchen of the main areas might be warmer. Really, it was nerves more than the chill that had me about to chicken out and hide in my room.

A moment and a turned corner later, I could have kicked myself for not staying put. It took a second, long enough for my pulse to race, to recognize Gavin. I couldn’t help but see Carter every time he appeared, and from the tightening at the corners of Gavin’s eyes and lips, my reaction hadn't been very subtle. Purposefully taking a breath in before letting it out in a slow exhale, I forced myself to continue forward. Desensitization was a thing, and I was going to stop flinching whenever I came across the man who hadn’t done anything wrong. Yet, anyway, my mind whispered.

“Shelby,” he cautiously greeted when he was a few strides away. I nodded but kept quiet. He seemed to expect it and stopped until I caught up to him before he turned and walked with me as if our meeting had been planned. A second later, I found out it had been. “I was coming to find you, so I could introduce you to Dimitri. River mentioned you wanted something to do and to be more independent.” He left out if River had also shared my breakdown, but if he had, Gavin didn’t let on.

With my nerves riding me hard, I nodded again and found my voice. “I told him I’d like to feed myself if that’s okay, but he mentioned your cook might get upset, so I decided it wasn’t such a great idea.”

I could feel the heat of Gavin’s stare though I kept my eyes forward and picked up my pace as much as I dared. The twinge in my ribs reminded me I was out of meds and had already exerted myself too much for the day. I didn’t dare end up needing assistance from Gavin . In my head, I knew he wasn’t Carter, but I wasn’t too sure what would happen if he ended up having to carry me. The thought of the meltdown that would likely ensue had me coloring up from my chest to my hairline. Thankfully, he didn’t comment on it. He really was nice, it seemed. Too bad he answered to Carter.

“I’ve spoken to Dimitri, and as I’m his employer, he would have to answer to me if he had a problem with you being in there.” The no-nonsense tone almost made me glance up at him. He’d sounded nearly…protective. I shook it off and chalked it up to following orders.

Frowning, I broached my reluctance. “I don’t want to intrude, Gavin. I don’t expect a stranger to want me in their space, and I most definitely don’t want to be forced on them either.”

Gavin sighed like I’d missed the point. “If you’re uncomfortable, I won’t force you, Shelby, but I feel like a mountain has been made out of a molehill here.”

I shrugged and didn’t disagree. I’d never claimed to be rational. Didn’t think he would be if he were me either. “I’m hungry, and I need to eat before I find Blake, so lead the way, please.”

We walked along in a not-so-comfortable silence until we reached the kitchen. The dining room was just beginning to fill up with the people who lived in, or worked in, the compound-like building. I itched to ask if they were a gang of some sort but hung back by the doorway instead. Gavin continued in until he realized I was no longer next to him. By then, the darker-skinned man at the stove had already noticed him.

“Hey, bossman,” he greeted before peering around Gavin to raise a brow at me. “Who’s the pretty lady hiding by the door?”

Under the scrutiny of both men, I inched forward and forced a polite smile onto my lips. “Hi, I’m Shelby Ann. Umm… I was…” I shot a pleading glance at Gavin, but he just cocked his head and waited me out. Asshole.

Dimitri, who apparently had better manners, came to my rescue. So much for stressing out that he’d run me off. “Miz Shelby, is it alright if I call you that?” I nodded. It was better than Miz Hamilton as Marigold had called me. I barely repressed the shudder, and the thought flitted through my head that maybe I could change my name back to Tamblin. “Bossman here said you’re looking for something to help keep busy. Said you have some experience from a restaurant?”

“I do, yes. I waitressed back home.” My eyes strayed behind him where something was about to boil over on the stove. “Uh, your dinner is gonna make a mess.” Internally, I cringed at the slip. Nina would have been all over me, saying I didn’t talk right. Again, I had to shake off the way I felt small about it.

Dimitri’s eyes widened in alarm before he spun back around to the stove, turned the flame down, and started stirring what appeared to be a giant pot of soup. “Shi–izz.” He quickly changed his expletive like he was going to offend me. My snort drew his attention again, and even Gavin’s lips quirked up at the corner. “Pretty girl distracting me in my own kitchen,” Dimitri mumbled goodnaturedly.

“Sorry,” I automatically answered though I hadn’t really done anything to cause his inattention.

Gavin took pity on the both of us, or maybe he was just over the painful awkwardness, by moving the whole thing along. “Dimitri, do you mind giving Shelby a tour of the kitchen and dining room? Let her know what’s communal and where to put in requests for grocery runs?” Dimitri nodded along while continuing the dinner prep. Gavin turned to me. “You good with that, Shelby? If you want to help out, just let Dimitri know and he’ll put you to work. Do not push yourself or get hurt. You set yourself back trying to do too much too soon, and I’ll put you back in the infirmary, got it?”

I blushed, half in anger and half in embarrassment, but nodded my agreement anyway.

“Words, Shelby,” Gavin demanded. His tone sent a curl through my stomach. I couldn’t tell if it was a good sensation or not, but it was certainly alarming. First, with River, now Gavin… My hormones had to be off or something. I couldn’t be attracted to Gavin, could I? “Shelby…” The growl in his voice confirmed that I was, in fact, attracted to the man with the face I wanted to smack. Lovely.

“Yes, Gavin. I’ll be careful.” We stood near enough one another I could see his pupils expand when I said his name. I didn’t know what was in the air, but the interest apparently went both ways.

Dimitri cleared his throat and flicked his eyes between the two of us. I caught the tail end of his knowing look and blushed ten shades of red when he pursed his lips and hummed an “Mm-hmm.”

Even Gavin became flustered. He made his escape, leaving me to face the cook by myself. “I have rounds to make. I’ll be back to check on you after a bit, Shelby, if you haven’t made it to see Blake yet.”

As soon as he was gone, I let my eyes close and took a deep breath to settle myself. That was when Dimitri took the opportunity to fish for gossip, or maybe he was just teasing. Either way my face was never going to cool off.

“You bewitching the bossman, Miz Shelby?” His dark eyes twinkled with delight, and I lifted my shoulders, shrugging in defeat. I had no idea what was up with Gavin. Heck, I barely knew what was up with myself . Not that I was going to be filling the nosy cook in on any of that.

“Pretty sure he’s under strict orders about me.” Immediately wanting to change the subject, I nodded toward what I thought was the pantry. “If you wouldn’t mind showing me around so I don’t get into anything I’m not supposed to, I’d appreciate it.”

Dimitri paused and gave me an assessing look before he allowed the subject change. “Right this way, Miz Shelby.”

For the next thirty minutes, I was shown everything in the kitchen and helped finish dinner before getting a bowl of the vegetable soup and a roll to take to the dining room. My ribs were sore and my energy was flagging, but I wanted to eat before I headed for Blake’s office. Meds on an empty stomach weren’t a good time, that was for sure.