32. Hallie

The week between Christmas and New Year passes in a blur, and the more phone calls Josh excuses himself to take with Lincoln, the more on edge I become. Apparently the downfall of his father will start as soon as we ring in the new year, and I have never felt more afraid in my life. Josh hasn’t given me any indication of wanting this thing between us to end, yet still I live in limbo wondering when the walls of this fake marriage will come crashing down.

Tonight is New Year’s Eve, and Hugo is throwing a huge party to celebrate not only the new year, but our wedding too. Which means not only has he invited half the town, but also all of Josh’s teammates. When Josh got wind of it, he went crazy, frantically calling Lincoln to work out if this is some kind of ploy on his father’s end, but I wasn’t surprised. Mayor Hugo Peters only ever does things to make himself look good, and he couldn’t exactly throw a party for his son and not invite his team.

I’m standing in front of the mirror in Josh’s room, staring at myself in the short white dress I picked out for the evening. The material is silky and sheen, hugging tight around my torso, with pearls encrusted across the chest, and flared out with a pop at my waist. My hair is twisted up into an elaborate bun, with a couple of my curls framing my face, and I went heavy on my makeup as always, giving myself a silver smokey eye and a soft pink lip. For any wedding party I look perfect, for my own wedding party I look like a fraud.

A sound at the door draws my attention, and I flick my eyes up to meet Josh’s in the mirror. He is leaning on the doorframe looking even more handsome than usual in his dark tuxedo, and it’s all I can do not to drool. Especially when he pushes off the door and stalks towards me until his chest is pressed against my back, his lips dropping to the bare skin of my shoulder.

“How the hell did I land a wife so beautiful?” he asks, kissing up my neck and pulling me in by my hips.

I try not to let the butterflies in my stomach affect me as I tip my neck to the side and softly reply, “You got on your knees and begged me to marry you.”

His smile is instant, as if remembering the moment as well as I do, before moving to stand in front of me, and tucking one of my face-framing curls behind my ear. “And I’d do it again in an instant,” he tells me firmly, not a speck of dishonesty in his tone. “You look beautiful, Mrs. Peters,” he adds, dropping a gentle kiss to the side of my mouth.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” I manage to choke out, making him smirk.

“Come on, we need to leave, because if you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to ruin your dress, makeup, hair, and pussy, and I know you spent a long time getting ready.” His words make me blush, his hands never leaving my skin as he guides me towards the door, and I half wonder how much damage he could really do if I let him bend me over the bed before we leave.

Unfortunately we really do have to go, and by the time we make it downstairs hand in hand, the rest of the house is already waiting. All dressed in some form of suit or tuxedo of their own, Daemon, Levi, and Landon, are all idling by the door for us, ready to go.

When they hear our footsteps their eyes all flick towards us, but Levi is the first to break the silence as he blurts, “Wow, Hals, you look beautiful.”

My blush only deepens as I feel Josh’s hand flex in mine. “Eyes off my wife, Jones, I don’t want to have to get your blood on her pretty dress.”

For a second Levi looks as if he is going to say something, but his eyes flick between the two of us then quickly meet the floor, and the tension in the air is thick so I quickly rush out, “Are we ready to go?” The guys all nod, and we head out to make our way to the Mayor’s mansion.

When we arrive, the whole place looks like a winter wonderland with decorations and lights placed everywhere. There are multiple valets parking cars, and guards checking the list of names as people enter. Of course we are ushered in without pause as the noted guests of honor, and I can already feel my throat itching for a drink to get me through this night.

“Is this really where you grew up,” Landon groans in awe, but from the look in his eyes, I know he remembers the visit from Josh’s father just as well as I do.

There was a steep price to pay to grow up here.

As soon as we enter the main dining hall where the Mayor always hosts his parties, I spy Maddie, Nova, and the rest of the team already taking up space on one of the long tables across the back of the room, and I head straight there.

“Hals, finally,” Maddie groans, lost in a sea of testosterone. She looks more than pleased to see me, as she makes space for me to sit down next to her. “You look beautiful.”

“So do you,” I reply, admiring the soft satin length of her black gown, that looks perfect against Nova’s black suit. The two of them look as if they have stepped right off a runway, and I’m sure her father is somewhere glaring daggers at the two of them, at least that’s what I can guess from the snarl on Nova’s face.

“Mr. and Mrs. Peters,” Archer drunkenly drawls. “Great party, thanks for inviting me.”

Josh lets his stare flick over him only once before he replies dryly, “I didn’t”

The rest of the guys take their seats, and for some reason there is a tension in the air I can’t understand. I mean, sure I get why Nova is pissed after what Hugo did to his mom, and of course Josh would rather be anywhere but here, yet the rest of the team seem on edge too. Archer is already completely off his face, and Daemon looks at him in disgust. Alexander looks bored, Landon looks intrigued, and Levi looks downright pissed off.

When the waiter passes with a tray of champagne, I quickly snatch one up, downing it in one gulp before the taste of it can actually register. Then I survey the rest of the room slowly, taking in the number of notable businessmen and politicians, and I can’t help but wonder what they will all soon say about their precious Mayor.

An elaborate dinner, which I barely touch, is followed by more drinks, and by the time Hugo has made some bullshit speech about love, marriage, and unity, Josh looks ready to explode. So Daemon hauls him off for a walk around the grounds to calm down, but I doubt the December chill could thaw the ice already surrounding him this evening.

I turn my focus to Nova, where he leads Maddie around the dance floor, as Hugo watches them with nothing but contempt, and I find myself looking forward to watching him fall. When his eyes flick my way, I even hold my drink up in cheers, before taking a sip and never letting myself drop his stare. By the time he looks away from me he looks nothing short of pissed, and I roll my eyes at what a pathetic piece of shit he is when it comes to his children.

I’m lounging by the bar, sipping on some cocktail named after Josh and I when Levi finds me. “Hals, there you are, enjoying your party?” he asks, signaling to the waiter for another drink.

“I’ve had root canals more fun than this,” I reply dryly, and he laughs like it’s the funniest joke he ever heard. I can’t help but drag my stare over him now, noting how on edge he seems as his eyes flick around the room wildly. “Is everything okay?” I ask, causing him to snap his stare to me, and what I see in it makes my stomach jolt, and my eyes quickly drop down to my drink.

If I’m not mistaken, I would say I could see attraction burning there, towards me of all people. No, I’m being silly, I’m bad at this sort of thing, I’ve probably just had too many cocktails. At least that’s what I tell myself, but then I feel him flick his eyes over me again as he replies, “You really do look beautiful tonight.”

I open my mouth to respond, to say what, I’m not sure, but thankfully I am saved when Josh and Daemon slink up beside us. “Tink, there you are, I was starting to worry I wouldn’t find you before midnight,” he grins, leaning down to kiss my cheek, but my eyes stay on Levi, who has gone from smiling to scowling.

Josh doesn’t seem to notice, but Daemon is watching Levi like he can dissect every thought with just his mind, and when he moves his attention to me, I know he feels the tension. I subtly shake my head before smiling up at Josh. “My lost boy always finds his way back to me.”

His smile mirrors my own, but his eyes are glossy, as he reaches out and literally boops my nose. “And I always will, Hallie Bear,” he drawls, and it’s only now I take in his disheveled suit, and the whiskey on his breath.

I flick my stare to Daemon. “Is he drunk?” I ask, and he nods just once.

“I’m not drunk,” Josh snaps, and Daemon rolls his eyes.

Shaking my head, I focus back on my husband who is still smiling at me like I am his everything, and I swallow thickly as I intertwine our fingers. “Come on, husband, I think it’s time you took me for a spin round the dance floor.” He obliges instantly, which is how I know just how drunk he really is, because he pulls me to the center of the floor and wraps his arms around my waist.

“Two minutes to midnight,” someone calls around the room, and Josh smiles as he starts swaying us from side to side.

“If I took any longer I think Levi would have been kissing you at midnight,” he grunts, and when our eyes meet I realize he doesn’t miss a thing.

“You saw him?” I ask nervously, wondering why he didn’t say anything, but then his hands flex around my waist, and I understood why. He doesn”t have to say anything because he knows that I belong to him. I have told him myself that anyone else is irrelevant, but does that mean our deal is irrelevant?

“When it comes to you, Hallie, I’ve realized that I see everything,” he tells me earnestly, and I swear his eyes have never looked so serious before. Yet I’m not sure if it’s the whiskey talking, or him.

“Well it doesn’t matter anyway, I don’t kiss boys at midnight on New Years, it’s a bad omen,” I reply casually, even though my heart is thundering inside my chest, and when I flick my stare over his shoulder, I find his father watching our every move.

“Oh and why is that?” he asks, pulling me in even closer until I can feel every hard ridge of his body.

We are so close now that I can feel his breath on my face as I stare up at him, and despite the music, my voice is low when I reply, “Because I don’t want to start the year with someone I won’t be ending it with. Hence no kissing boys, boyfriends or anyone else for that matter.”

His grin is downright feral and wicked as he asks, “And what about kissing your husband, is that a bad omen?”

Sometimes,I instantly say in my mind, but when his left hand reaches up and lands on my cheek, and I feel the weight of his ring, everything else just fades away.

The countdown begins, everyone chanting around us, but the only thing I see is him. “Hallie, I…” he starts, as the cheers ring out, but I slam my lips to his, stealing whatever he was about to say with a kiss, because even if I can’t keep him forever, I can still keep this moment.

Our mouths move in sync, kissing one another has become as natural as breathing, and it’s all I can do not to break down and cry. I feel him everywhere, as I curl my hands into his hair, and he holds me against him like he never wants to let go. My tongue caresses his own, and I swallow his deep groan, enjoying his rough touch, as he tries and fails to get me even closer to him.

When we pull apart, the words are right there on the tip of my tongue. Just three little words that if I say there is no taking them back, and I want to. I want to say them, I want him to hear them, but what about rule number three? What about what he said in return?

Don’t worry, Hals, you already know I’m not wired to find and appreciate something as simple as love.

His words from Thanksgiving come rushing back, and bile rises in my stomach as I open my mouth, but the only three words that come out are, “Ready to go?”

He blinks back from me as if he was expecting me to say something else, but then puts a lazy smile across his mouth. “Sure, baby, I’m ready. I’ll go find Daemon and meet you at the door, okay?” He drops a kiss to my head, before he disappears into the crowd, and watching him leave hurts more than it should.

No, I can’t do this anymore. The second we get home I am going to tell him, even if it kills me.

I make my way through the crowd, not bothering to say goodbye to anyone, considering I watched Maddie and Nova slip out just as Josh and I made our way to the dance floor. As for the rest of the team, I’m sure they are around somewhere, but I don’t have the energy to find them, so instead, I do what Josh asked and go and wait by the door for him and Daemon.

“Leaving so soon,” a smug voice curls around me, and I turn to find Josh’s father strolling down the hall from his office, looking me up and down, his eyes zeroing in on the letter J that dangles from my neck.

“Mayor Peters,” I greet with a smile as fake as his. “The party was amazing as always, but yes we are heading out.”

He doesn’t stop until he is right in front of me, his proximity sickening, as he purrs, “Hallie, we are family now, I think it’s time you called me Hugo.”

My cheeks ache from keeping my smile in place but still I nod and correct myself. “Hugo.”

His own smile is approving now, as he assesses me closely before adding, “I’m so glad you married my son.” His tone is filled with charm and I almost snort.

“Yeah I’m sure you are,” I reply as sweetly as I can manage, flicking my stare back towards the party and praying Josh comes and saves me.

“No really I am, and not just because of the validity your last name holds,” he explains, as if saying bullshit like that is the most natural thing in the world, and I guess in his world, it is. “But because out of every girl I put on that list of names, yours was the most well-suited to him.”

My heart starts pounding in my ears as his words wash over me. “List of names?” I repeat, my hands beginning to shake, and his smile turns wicked.

“Yes, you know the list of names I gave my son, of approved women he could choose a wife from. I mean, you were in excellent company of course, Dear, but out of everyone I am so glad he chose you.”

I suddenly find it hard to breathe as I am vaulted back to the night Josh proposed, my mind dissecting through every single word he said to me.

My father will leave Maddie alone as long as I marry someone of his choosing.

That’s what he said, those were his exact words, I didn’t mix them up or mishear them. That is exactly what he said to me.

And he chose me?

I asked him outright, so sure I got him wrong, and he nodded. There wasn’t a mention of a list, or any other names, he said he needed to marry me and I agreed. I agreed because I thought he had no other option, and despite my feelings for him, and how much worse it was going to make things for me, I wanted to help.

How fucking stupid was I?

Hugo is still staring at me in delight, as if he orchestrated this entire thing, and it takes everything I have not to cry. Instead I put a smile on my face and respond, “Oh yes, of course, that list.”

The lie slips off my lips with ease, as Josh and Daemon appear from the ballroom and head towards us, Josh’s eyes already lined with anger as he takes in his father’s proximity to me.

“Everything okay?” he asks, his focus solely on Hugo, and for once I’m thankful for his lack of attention.

“Yes, everything is fine.” Four little words, one big lie, yet Josh doesn’t let his gaze stray towards me to see if it’s true or false.

Daemon stares at me like the lie is written right across my face, and all I can do is drop my eyes to the floor.

“Then let’s go,” Josh snaps, slipping his hand into mine, and without another word, the three of us are leaving his father behind and climbing back into the car that brought us here.

I’m not sure where Levi or Landon are, but at this moment I don’t care, because the only thing I can focus on is the list of names. The whole ride home that’s my only thought. From the car, to the sidewalk, all the way up the stairs, my only focus is that stupid list of names.

Once we reach Josh’s room, Daemon is still watching me quietly, but then he bids us goodnight and heads down to his room.

My heart is still racing, and as Josh leads us into his room, and drops down on the end of the bed, all I can do is flick my stare around. From my eye mask on the pillowcase, to my penguin in the sheets, from the fan on the nightstand, to my pajamas thrown over the chair. My presence, this fake marriage, it’s everywhere, staining this room like a fucking disease with no cure, and it was all a bigger lie than I could have ever imagined.

Yet I don’t break, I snap.