30. Maverick

Maverick

I’m still grumbling as I pull into my parent’s driveway after leaving the airport. Fucking cameras all over the place, people asking me about Phoebe and if she’s cheating on her man with me.

Who the hell asks things like that?

It was a good hour drive back to my parents from the airport, and my fingers are still clenching the steering wheel.

Who has this much time on their hands that they care about my breakup? Surely other celebrities broke up within the last year they can focus on, but I swear they love to torture me.

And they’re all dying to get the next big story. Hoping they’ll catch me with Phoebe, and it’ll be some huge scandal.

I park my car, and the front door of my parent’s house opens. My dogs rush out to greet me as my mom stays by the door, waiting for me to come up. I pet my dogs, having missed them a hell of a lot and then walk up to hug my mom. “Thanks for watching them, Mom.”

She gives me the same sad smile she has for the past month or so. I’ve been dropping the dogs and cat here before each race, when Cooper had been watching them before. But she doesn’t ask any questions.

For that, I’m grateful because I can’t think about Cooper without losing my shit. I miss him. Every single day, I miss him. I fight with myself every day to not call him. To not show up and beg him to give me another chance.

He said he’ll need time to just be able to be my friend. He’ll come to me . . .

I hope.

But I’m not so damn sure anymore.

The more time that passes, the more I wonder if I’ll ever see him again. If he’s really truly moved on. If there’s someone new.

Oh God, I can’t think about anyone else with him. It’s a pain like I’ve never known. And if I ever actually saw him with someone else, I don’t think I’d make it through it. I think I’d burn the world down if I saw him holding hands with someone out in public—the way he should be treated.

And that makes me a total selfish asshole.

I settle in my parents’ living room, Ralph hopping up on the couch to rest his head on my lap while Rosie lays at my feet. I haven’t seen Scrappy yet, but that’s not unusual. He does what he wants when he wants to.

“You know I don’t mind watching them,” my mom says, settling into her recliner, but I can hear she’s about to say more and brace myself. “But what about your cute little friend, Cooper? Didn’t he used to watch them for you?”

She knows he did. She knows way more than she’s letting on, and my stomach twists. I think it’s been just a twisted mess for years. Never really untwisting until I met Cooper and he showed me what true happiness could be.

And then I blew it.

“He used to,” I confirm what we both already know. “But he hasn’t for months now, Mom,” I say snidely and instantly feel bad. But why the hell is she asking me this now?

She just waves me off. “Right. I know. I was just wondering why not? He loves animals, and he for sure loves your animals. And he lives much closer to you.”

She knows. I know she knows. That Cooper is so much more than a friend to me. That I love him. That we were together. I know she knows it. So why the hell can’t I just say it?

My mom is awesome. She’d be thrilled.

“He’s busy. He’s back in school. Close to graduating with his Bachelor’s, and he works and volunteers. I couldn’t ask him to watch my animals on top of all that. It wasn’t right.”

“That’s BS, and you know it.”

My eyes widen as I stare over at her in shock. My mom rarely swears, but on top of that, she’s calling me out on my shit. “W-what?” I stutter.

She laughs at me, waving her hand in the air. “Stop, Maverick. Okay? Don’t lie to me. You don’t have to.” Her voice is calm and soothing, her eyes kind as she looks over at me with sorrow and maybe a little pity. “You can always tell me everything.” She reminds me what she’s always told me.

Air whooshes from my lungs, and I can’t hold it back anymore. “We broke up. I messed it all up, Mom. I love him so damn much, and I let him get away because I didn’t have the balls to just come out and say he was my boyfriend.”

She doesn’t look shocked at all as she listens to me, telling her everything she already knew. Some things probably for a really long time. “What exactly happened?”

“We were dating, but in private.” She winces, and I don’t blame her at all. “I didn’t want to hide him away, Mom, but I was afraid. You know everything that happened when I was with Pheobe and when we broke up. Her fans are fucking rabid. What if they went after Cooper?”

“What if they did?” she tosses back.

I frown. “I can’t stand the thought of anything bad happening to him.”

I can tell she thinks I’m a dumbass, but she’s my mom, so she’s trying to be nice. “Oh, honey. You can’t live your life like that. That’s no way to live. Your father could get hurt or much worse any damn day out on the ranch. That doesn’t mean I beg him to retire or leave his rancher ass.”

I smirk at that. “You love the ranch just as much as he does.”

She smiles. “I do, but I love him more. And he loves me more. Still, we aren’t giving this up just because there’s a chance of getting hurt, and you can’t hide Cooper away from the world because he might get his feelings hurt.”

“They could do more than hurt his feelings,” I bite out, the thought making me sick.

“Honey, bad things can happen, yes. But you can’t stop living because you’re afraid. I know you’ve never liked the celebrity part of racing, and to be honest it was my biggest fear for you when you started. You never liked attention on you.”

“I don’t care what they say about me,” I try, but she just offers a sad smile.

“You do. You don’t want them in your business, and I can’t blame you. But I don’t want you missing out on an amazing guy like Cooper because of it. Who cares what they say? Or think? You’ll have that sweet boy, and you’ll finally be truly happy. I saw a difference in you when you brought him here, honey. He’s it. I can tell.”

“You thought Pheobe was too, I’m sure.” I mean, she never actually came out and said that, but I know she liked Pheobe a lot.

“I like her. She’s a strong, confident, hardworking woman.”

“But?” I ask, sensing it’s coming.

“But she wasn’t right for you. Your relationship didn’t make you better, Maverick. It made you angry and bitter. I felt like a piece of you was missing during that time, and just when you finally got that back, you go and mess it up.”

“Mom,” I say with a startled laugh, and she laughs too, winking at me.

“Nope. I’m never going to have grandbabies at this rate. I mean I love your fur babies, but human babies would be awfully nice. And Cooper would be an amazing dad,” she teases me, and for the first time in a long time, I feel a little bit lighter. The weight lifting just a little.

“Thanks, Mom. You’re the worst.” Again, she tosses her head back and laughs because she knows I’m kidding.

She moves over to the couch and places her hand on my knee. “So how badly did you mess it up?”

“When Baz asked if I joined the rainbow club like Axel, Royal, and Sebastian, I laughed it off and said no. Told him Cooper was just my friend right in front of him.”

“Ouch.” She cringes, and I wince.

“I know. It was awful. Forever burned in my brain. I hurt him so badly, and I promised I wouldn’t.”

“So, how are you going to fix it?” she asks, so sure that I can, but I’m not.

“Mom, Cooper is a catch. I’m sure someone who is actually worthy of him has caught him by now.” Bitterness swirls inside me, thinking about it, and I try like hell not to puke.

“Oh, probably.”

I huff, and she laughs. I shake my head. “The worst.”

She laughs and cups my face in her hand, leaving a loud smacking kiss on my forehead. “Make it right. You love him, and he loves you. I could see it, and honestly, love is all that matters. It’s all that ever really matters, when it comes down to it. The rest is all bullshit.”

“Thanks, Mom.” I try not to start crying, right then and there, and let her hold me as I fight it because I hate how damn much I messed it all up.

And I don’t know if I really can fix it.