Chapter 4

Chapter Four

B en came down the stairs the next morning just as Jemma left her chamber. They met on the landing and continued to the dining room where the others already gathered. The servants set out the food out on the sideboard, so Ben picked up two plates, thinking he could balance them with one hand. Jemma shot him a reproving glare and took them from him.

“What would you like?” Ben might have been unable to carry the plates, but he would serve Jemma. She pointed out what she wanted, and they soon realized they preferred the same things. As they smiled at each other, they both knew they pictured mornings alone in their own home one day. When they moved to the table, Jemma put the plates down, and Ben pulled her chair out. He didn’t feel entirely useless.

“Ben.” Raj sat beside him. “Would you consider taking my ship to make your journey shorter and faster?”

“Jemma and I spoke of that last night. I planned to ask you today. If I could sail with the next tide, I could be back by tomorrow night rather than in a week.”

“That’s why I thought it would be good to offer. I’ll sail with you in case there’s any trouble. They’re far less likely to detain me than you. We can leave in an hour.” Raj’s title as an earl earned him immediate deference, even if it wasn’t always from respect. He cared not as long as people stayed away from his family, which included his brother-in-law who he suspected would soon be his cousin-in-law, too.

Their imminent departure was sooner than Ben expected. He turned to Jemma, and he knew it disappointed her that they couldn’t go for their walk. However, they both wanted his journey to be a brief as possible. To have it over and done with by the next night appealed to them far more than any regret that they would miss a stroll that day. He laid his hand on her knee beneath the table and gave it a squeeze. With a plan in place, breakfast became a hurried affair as the men rushed to gather what they needed. Theo sent his oldest son to Raj’s ship to inform the crew of their rapid embarkment. They all disliked moving the cargo in the daylight, but they hurried to load it onto the ship, and they were underway in an hour just as Raj suggested.

Ben stood at the stern and watched Jemma shrink with distance. Raj stood beside him as he waved to Charlie, Indira, and Anjali, whose arm Charlie moved in a wave.

“I’m glad I’m rarely at sea these days. I don’t enjoy leaving them behind.” Raj chatted with Ben when the shore finally faded to nothing.

“Theo asked what I’ll do when I wed Jemma. I can’t merely stop ferrying the goods, but I don’t want the risks anymore. Not after last night. I told him I’d ask you about buying one of your ships. I’d use it to transport the goods until someone else can take over the land routes. I don’t want it to be any of your cousins. Once I’m no longer tied to the cart or ship to smuggle, I’d use it for legal ventures most of the time.” Ben grinned. None of them would ever give up their smuggling ways entirely. “It would provide for Jemma and our family, and it would keep me at home more.”

“Wouldn’t you want to captain your own ship? Do you wish for me to teach you?”

Ben shook his head before pushing hair away from his eyes. “It might be interesting to sail once and a while, but the goal is to be home more not less. I’d like your recommendation on a captain and crew to hire. I’d run things the way you believed your business did before you discovered the truth.”

Discovering his father’s and brother’s nefarious dealings and how they’d used his legitimate business to aid their smuggling shocked Raj. He hadn’t learned of it until after he’d assumed the earldom. It came as an unpleasant surprise, but the arrangement benefited everyone. Raj continued to use his ships for legal and illegal ventures.

“Would you also use them as I do now?” Raj cocked an eyebrow.

“If it allows everyone to be home more often than they’re gone, then I’d far prefer carrying the contraband that way rather than continuing to drive a cart or finding someone else to do that for me.”

“When do you plan to marry my cousin?” Raj turned to face Ben, his back resting against the rail.

“As soon as I can. I know we haven’t courted yet, and I know we avoided one another whenever we were in the same room. I understand most people wouldn’t believe we know each other well enough to decide we suit. But I’ve spent seven years observing Jemma and admiring her. I’ve watched her with your family and the villagers. I see how she is with the village children and your nieces. I see how she’s always the first to offer help. She’ll take on tasks no one wants, but she does them because she knows it’s the right thing to do. She’d share her last bite of food if she thought someone needed it more. She’s ferocious when she defends those she loves. She stood up to Thomas Garris when he tried to start a fight with Daniel. She barely came to both boys shoulders, but Thomas dared insult her older brother, and she would have none of it. In some ways, I think I know more about her from observing at a distance than I would if I were always by her side.”

Raj listened to the younger man and nodded when Ben finished. “She told me much the same thing a few months ago. I asked her why she wouldn’t find a match if there was no sign you wanted her. She admires you for the same reasons. She knows you punched Samual McIntyre after he tried to force her behind the bakery. She ran from him, but she’d turn back when she heard someone running toward where she’d just been. She watched you and heard you make sure Samual knows never to go near her again. But she assumed you would defend anyone. That it wasn’t about her so much as your honor dictated you intervene.”

“I would have helped anyone, especially a woman. But the rage I felt came only because it was Jemma in danger. I held myself back from doing far, far worse than just a punch that broke his jaw.”

“You still live with your parents to help your father oversee the farm and be near Steven’s laboratory when he’s making the saltpeter. Do you plan to live there once you marry?”

Ben felt his cheeks heat, and he loathed his fair complexion because he was certain Raj knew the deepening color came from blushing rather than being windblown. “No. I have a plot of land next to my parents’ farm I bought three years ago. I’ve done little with it because I haven’t needed to. But I’ve always planned to put a house on it. I’d rather not live at home with my parents once I’m wed.”

Raj grinned. “I understand. For a woman of her years, my grandmother’s hearing is far too keen. She has a sixth sense about when Charlie and I would like a moment alone. I believe she does it to taunt me.”

Ben chuckled. He’d met the Dowager Countess, and he believed Raj. “I can’t break ground until spring, so Jemma and I might need to live with my parents briefly. But I’ll begin work as soon as the weather holds long enough to get the work done.”

He could see the heavy cloud cover in the distance and feared it would soon snow in Polruan. When he’d left the manor house and noticed the impending inclement weather, it made him even more grateful they would travel by sea. Even though the wind picked up as they moved farther from the coast, there was no precipitation. While they moved the hidden items from the Rowes’ stables to the ship, Ben found his satchel and thick outer coat he’d left on the cart when he went into the assembly hall. He pulled the collar up now and settled for a spot out of the wind as he watched the men work the riggings.

He’d gone months at a time without seeing Jemma, but the two days he spent away from her were interminable. It didn’t help that the cold damp air covering the English Channel was just as miserable hanging over them during their visit to Poole. It made his arm ache and his temper short. He’d sucked in several deep breathes when the town’s mayor tried to renegotiate the terms of their trade. He wanted far more for far less. Ben was uninterested in altering their agreement, so he’d simply told the crew to turn around and carry everything back to the ship since they had to go back there anyway. When the mayor realized how serious Ben was, he ceased haggling and accepted the original arrangement.

They’d barely made it back to the ship when they noticed men riding along the coast toward them. At first, Ben and Raj thought they were excisemen. But it took only a moment once they had an unobstructed view to recognize they were East India Company men. Ben understood why Raj seethed and moved to the opposite end of the ship rather than watch the men watch them. His father had served in northwest India alongside Theo and their mutual friend, William Abbington. The three men married three sisters. Theo married Vinita, Will married Sarla, and Raj’s father, Robert, married Sunita. Raj blamed the Company for his mother’s death indirectly, and his father’s, brother’s, and sister-in-law’s directly. Losing most of his family spurred Raj into supporting Charlie’s family and continuing a family legacy he didn’t know existed until he met Charlie.

Ben watched the men disappear the same way he’d seen Jemma shrink until she was gone when he departed. However, he had no desire to see the East India Company men again while he counted down the time until he was reunited with Jemma.

It was after nightfall when Raj’s ship docked, and there was a thick coat of snow on the ground once they trudged up the cliffside. If Raj, Ben, and the crew weren’t exhausted and soaked from a downpour while they were out to sea, they might have appreciated the winter wonderland that greeted them. But every man merely wanted hot food and a warm bed. Ben envied Raj since he wouldn’t shiver in bed alone.

“Ben!”

A flurry of pink and gold flew down the stairs and across the foyer to greet him. Jemma took care not to touch Ben’s injured arm, which pained him more than he ever imagined after two miserable days at sea. He’d taken to wearing a sling within an hour of their departure from Polruan. He only took it off while on land to draw less attention to his injury. He refused to appear weak in front of the mayor, and it turned out to be a wise choice since the man attempted to swindle Ben without knowing Ben wasn’t at his full strength. Ben believed it would have been worse if the mayor believed Ben was too infirm to defend the cargo and himself.

“Jemma.” He wrapped his good arm around her waist and lifted her off her feet. The rest of her family flowed into the entryway, so they accepted a quick kiss was all they could get away with.

“I’m so glad you’re home,” Jemma whispered to Ben while Raj reunited with his family. When Ben put her back on her feet, she rested her head against his chest. “How did it go?”

“Well. Higgins thought to bully me into amending our deal, but he soon realized I had no patience for his nonsense. It didn’t take long once he convinced me not to leave and sell the goods elsewhere.” Ben grinned. He’d been prepared to leave without completing the sale, but he’d been certain it wouldn’t come to that, and it hadn’t.

“Jamie spotted the ship’s masts, so we already have baths ready for you and Raj.” Jemma’s cheeks pinkened as their gazes met. Ben was certain she pictured something similar to what he did. Though, he assumed she imagined scrubbing his back while he imagined making love to her in the tub.

Ben greeted his sister and the girls. Indira called him uncle, even though they weren’t directly related. He’d always enjoyed hearing it, but when the little girl greeted him that evening, he wished it was a daughter she shared with Jemma calling him papa. Ever since he met Indira and Anjali, who was still too young to do much more than babble, he’d imagined what it would be like if he and Jemma were their parents. Now that a future with Jemma was no longer a dream, he prayed their children would be the spitting image of their mother. He couldn’t think of anything more perfect than seeing Jemma’s vibrancy radiating from their children. Perhaps he’d ask Father Christmas for that this year. It relieved him to be home before the holiday. He hadn’t wanted to be on the road alone, and he hadn’t wanted to disappoint Jemma by missing it.

“You must be exhausted.” Jemma’s soft voice interrupted his daydream. He glanced down at where she walked beside him as they entered the drawing room. “Are you in a great deal of pain?”

“It’s uncomfortable,” Ben hedged. His chin jerked back when Jemma glared at him.

“You can pretend modesty to the rest of the world, but don’t lie to me, Ben. You have no need for false pretenses with me. Your strength impressed me years ago. My opinion won’t falter if you admit you’re in pain. Do you want a dose of laudanum? Would you feel better?”

He’d given up and taken a spoonful the night before and one that morning. His headache had only receded an hour earlier. The waves and a headache were worse than his arm. However, now that he was on land, it tempted him. But he shook his head.

“The bath and some sleep will set me to rights. I don’t care for how the medicine makes me feel. It might reduce an injury’s pain, but it makes my head hurt and my stomach curdle. I’d rather not.

“Would you prefer to retire once you’ve bathed? I can arrange for a tray, so you don’t have to come down for supper.”

“That’s not necessary. I can?—”

“Ben, you look dead on your feet. Please go to bed early. I’m worried about you.”

He didn’t have the heart or the energy to refuse. He conceded that Jemma was right. The last dregs of energy faded once he knew he was safe and so was Jemma. Exhaustion crashed over him. “All right. But I believe you promised me a walk in the morning. Don’t oversleep.”

Jemma stepped closer to him and pressed her breasts against his ribs. “You shall have to keep me warm once we’re outside.”

“You can count on me, sweetling. I’d hate for you to turn into an icicle.” Ben kissed her cheek before saying goodnight. He bathed and changed into the fresh bedclothes he assumed were Raj’s. He was asleep the moment his head hit his pillow.

“Isn’t it magical?” Jemma’s excitement bolstered Ben, who’d fallen asleep quickly but slept poorly. His arm woke him several times, and he eventually gave in, taking a dose of the laudanum in his satchel. It allowed him to gain a few hours rest just before dawn. The crisp winter air did wonders for clearing his head.

“It is.” He stooped and gathered a handful of snow before playfully threatening to throw it at her. “Come here, my little snow angel.”

“I’m no snow angel.”

He threw the snow, and it landed against her left shoulder. “You’re snowy and an angel.”

She snorted. “I don’t think anyone has called me an angel since the day of my birth.”

“Precocious were you?”

“Yes.” Jemma’s unrepentant grin made Ben laugh.

He held out his good arm to her, and she wrapped hers around his upper arm as they set off for their walk. The sun shone, and the nip in the air wasn’t too brisk. There was no wind, which was unusual so close to the sea in winter. It made their outing pleasurable and allowed them to spend longer away from the manor. Jemma’s maid and a groom walked behind them as their chaperones. Ostensibly, the groom was there to ensure the maid didn’t slip on any ice and as extra protection. But they were courting just like Jemma and Ben. She’d asked Tilly before Vinita could find another maid. Jemma knew Tilly and Gordon would be too occupied with each other to pay much attention to her and Ben. They were there merely for the appearance of propriety.

“Will your parents be upset you aren’t home for Christmas?” Jemma’d worried about that while he was gone, but Charlie assured her their parents understood.

“I’m certain they would prefer all their children could be with them for the holiday, but they know Charlie and Raj wish to spend this first Christmas with your family.” He didn’t mean the couple’s first Christmas now that they were wed. He didn’t wish to say aloud it was the first Christmas Indira would remember without her parents. His sister and brother-in-law decided to bring the girls to the Rowes’, so their family tradition of rotating among the three sisters’ families didn’t end. Even though Raj’s mother died on the voyage from India to England many years ago, his father had always insisted Raj and his brother travel with him to Sarla’s and Vinita’s homes and they host Christmas once every three years. Raj and Charlie wished to do the same.

“They planned for your sister to be away, but they expected you to return in time.”

“Are you trying to chase me away?” Ben waggled his eyebrows at her, and she playfully elbowed him.

“No. I just feel guilty.”

Ben stopped them and turned to face Jemma. “You have a kind heart, sweetling. I appreciate your concern for them and for me. Your father said he dispatched a messenger yesterday morning to let my parents know I would remain here because there’d been a delay. It’s not as though I simply don’t show up.”

Jemma nodded as she watched Ben. She mulled over whether to share her thoughts. She was about to turn back to the path when Ben canted his head, his brow furrowing. “What is it?”

“I suppose next Christmas, we’ll…” She dropped her gaze.

“Yes, we can spend next Christmas with them. Or we can return here. Maybe Raj and Charlie will host us all.” He slid his arm around her waist.

“Return here? You see me in Bedruthan with you?”

“It’s a little far for me to ride back and forth every day. I refuse to sleep without my wife when I don’t have to. I’d like you to join me in Bedruthan once we wed, but if you don’t want to leave here, we?—”

“No.” Jemma shook her head, making Ben’s heart race as he feared what she would say next. She rested her hands on his chest when she realized he misunderstood. She felt how fast it beat, so she hurried to explain. “My home will be with you, and your home is in Bedruthan.”

“But if you’d be happier here...” Ben meant his offer, but it wasn’t what he’d planned.

“Maybe at first because this is where I’m used to. But you and Charlie are marvelous, so I assume the rest of your family is to. You had to have learned your charm from someone.”

“Don’t you think it comes naturally?” Ben tickled her ribs as he calmed.

“Sometimes.” She winked at him. “I’d like to spend next Christmas with your family. Not just because you’ll miss this one. I want to know what this holiday is like when you’re at home. Will we be married by then?”

“Absolutely. Jemma, I explained to your father the other night I wish to court you, so I can spend time with you before we wed. I don’t need to figure out whether I wish to marry you. I already know that. If you need time?—”

“I don’t.” She smiled sheepishly, embarrassed by her eagerness. Ben drew her close and leaned over to nuzzle her neck. He kissed along the bare skin from the top of her coat collar to behind her ear. He kissed the end of her jaw before bringing his lips to hers. He shifted to block Tilly and Gordon from seeing them, but he suspected the other couple would soon be doing what he and Jemma were.

His tongue flicked against her lips, and she opened to him. She stretched her body against his, and neither appreciated the layers of clothes between them. His hand slid from her waist down to cup her backside.

“Do you have any idea how many times I dreamed of holding you like this while kissing you senseless?” Ben’s whisper puffed warm air against her cheek, making her shiver. Or perhaps it was the secret he just shared.

“Maybe a fraction of the times I thought about it too.”

“I’ve longed to taste all of you, Jem. I want to make you my wife sooner rather than later, but I won’t rush you.”

“What if I rush you? What if I’m tired of waiting?”

Their gazes met, and they understood what she left unsaid. Ben’s hand tightened on her backside as he pressed her hips forward, ensuring she felt his rod against her mons. She shifted restlessly, wanting more but unsure how to ease the ache in her core.

“I won’t take your maidenhead until we’re wed. There’s still too much danger surrounding me. If anything happened to me before we married, and you were no longer a virgin, then you might never wed.”

Ben didn’t understand why Jemma’s expression darkened. “If something happened to you, I wouldn’t marry because they’d have me in Newgate for murdering whoever took you from me. I wish to marry you. If I’d wanted anyone else, I’d have married years ago. I won’t replace you and go on about my merry way.”

“My kitten has claws.”

“And I will tear anyone to shreds who comes near you.” The conviction in Jemma’s eyes made Ben feel cherished in a way he never had before, in a way he never knew he wanted, knew he needed. He kissed her cheek before leading them down the path.

“If we don’t continue our promenade, my good intentions will melt along with the snow.”

They spent the next half-an-hour meandering through the estate’s gardens. They chatted about who and what they’d seen before the assembly abruptly ended. Ben learned there was to be another dance on Christmas Eve to make up for the one the government officials ruined. Fresh falling snow forced them back to the manor, and frigid temperatures kept them indoors for the next two days. However, a messenger from Grandma Smith in Lantic Bay warned Ben the excisemen were back and searching for him. He knew they’d look for him at the Rowes’ home.