7. Maddison

Maddison

N oah tells Finn he’ll look at my phone, but it’ll take a few hours. Finn asks me if I want to go with him, but I shake my head.

“Nah, I’d rather stay here and rest,” I inform him with the plan of lying back down and doing that.

He hesitates, not leaving. “Do you think it’s a good idea for you to be out here by yourself?”

I gesture at the people wandering around the quad. “I’m not by myself.”

His gaze sweeps the area. “I know, but?—”

“I’ll be fine,” I assure him. “I’ll get up in a bit and go back to my dorm once Lily gets back.”

He dithers, biting his bottom lip. “Fine, but please be careful. River will kick my ass if anything happens to you. Well, he’ll try to kick my ass.” He dazzles me with a cocky smirk, to which I respond with an eye roll. Then he saunters off with my phone, and I plop back down on the bench, closing my eyes and attempting to relax.

My mind continues to center on my aunt. I want to get a hold of her so badly because it feels like she may have some answers. But how the hell am I supposed to do that when it appears as if she’s gone off the grid?

I could talk to my mother and see if she knows where my aunt is. After all, Drew called off the hit on me, so I can return to northside. I’d still have to be super careful, since my father could have other debts.

“Maddy.” River’s voice flows over me as warmly as the sunlight.

At first, I wonder if I’ve fallen asleep and am dreaming of his gorgeous face leaning over me. I’d prefer it to be that, but reality sinks in that I’m awake, and he is leaning over me.

“What’re you doing here?” I ask as I sit up and glare at him. “Wait, let me guess. You’re annoying twin brother tattled on me.”

“I think tattled is a stretch, but yeah, he called me and told me you were out here, napping on a bench.” He points at the empty spot beside me. “Can I sit down and talk to you?” When I make no effort to answer, he emphasizes, “ Please .”

Why does he have to be so nice about everything?

“Whatever.” I shrug, pretending to be casual. The truth is I’m far from being relaxed. I may want to be mad at him, but I can’t stop being attracted to him.

When he sits down, the scent of his cologne circles around me, and I find myself breathing it in like a dumbass.

For a while, we silently sit, staring at the people roaming around.

“I’m sorry,” he conclusively sputters. “I was trying to get my father to leave me alone, but I never should’ve said what I did. It’s not true at all.” He looks at me, his eyes pleading with me to understand. “I was worried that if he knew I liked you, he’d either try to ruin you or dig into your life. Either option isn’t a good thing. But I’m so sorry, Mads. I swear I didn’t mean it.”

I believe him. Perhaps that makes me stupid, but I do. I’ve been lied to my entire life, so I’m an expert on being able to tell when someone is lying.

“I believe you,” I tell him. “And I do get why you did it. I just wish I didn’t have to overhear it.”

“Me, too.” He scoots closer to me. “So, are we good?”

I don’t answer right away, and his expression crumbles.

“We’re good, but …” I choose my next words carefully. “I think we should be friends. Just friends. If we need to fake date, then okay, but we need to touch less. And not kiss at all.” I fiddle with the watch band, staring at the ground as I confess, “I like you, River, and that’s a problem for so many reasons. So, I think we should just be friends and set up boundaries.” I lift my gaze to him. “Are you okay with that?”

He rubs his lips together as he lets my words sink in. “I’m fine with it. I mean, I don’t like it, but I get it.” He falls silent for a beat, and his shoulders slump—he looks so defeated. “I really hate this. I wish things were different.”

“I do, too,” I agree. “But hey, on the bright side, I can be an amazing friend.” I throw him a cheeky grin.

He forces a smile onto his lips, but it quickly falters. “We should go back to my dorm so you can rest.”

I shake my head. “I honestly am tired of resting. I can’t stop thinking about my aunt, and I came up with an idea that might work.” I twist on the bench to face him. “I think I should go talk to my mom. I don’t want to tell her everything about what’s going on, but she might have an idea about where my aunt could be. And since the hit is off me, I should be able to do that.”

“I don’t know,” he says hesitantly. “Drew mentioned that there could be more issues for you in northside.”

“I know. Trust me; my father has pissed off a lot of people. But since nothing’s really floating around about it, if I’m careful, I should be okay.”

“I don’t know.” Worry is radiating off him. “It just seems dangerous.”

I give him a look. “More dangerous than everything else going on?”

He considers this with a heavy amount of wariness. “I can’t stop you from going—obviously. And I think I’m learning that you’re going to do what you feel is right, but if you’re going to go, please let me drive you.”

“Dude, remember what I told you about your car being in northside,” I remind him. “You don’t want to do that.”

He rests his arms on his knees. “Then I’ll ride the bus with you.”

I cover my mouth with my hand to conceal a laugh. River on a bus seems so funny to me.

“What?” he questions with a confused smile on his face.

“You riding the bus.” I lower my hand. “Sorry, I’m laughing. It just seems so funny.”

“I’ve ridden a bus before,” he defends.

“The northside bus?”

“No, but aren’t all buses the same?”

A laugh escapes my lips. Then I pat his head. “Oh, River, you are so adorable.”

He narrows his eyes at me. “I’m not adorable.”

“Okay.” I smile, and he shakes his head.

Look at us, being friends.

I just wish he wasn’t so damn hot.

“Can we at least wait to go tomorrow?” he asks, straightening. “I want to make sure your head gets enough time to recover. Plus, it’s been less than a day since I made negotiations. And Finn said he has your phone, but he thinks Eli may have put a virus on it, so maybe we should wait to hear about that.”

He’s right. I know he is. But my eagerness to get some answers makes it hard to nod my head in agreement.

He relaxes then gets to his feet. “We should go get something to eat then wait to hear from Finn in my dorm.”

“You’re really persistent about me going to your dorm.”

“I know, but you can’t even get into yours.”

“True.” I wish I could, though, because if I’m going to keep mine and River’s relationship strictly as a friendship, I’ll need space. But he’s right. I can’t get into my dorm right now. And … “I am really hungry.” I stand. “I’m eating at the cafeteria, though, so I can pay for my own food.”

“All right,” he agrees, but it’s clear he’s struggling not to offer to pay.

Goddammit, I wish he was an asshole. It’d make it so much easier to stay away.

I need to be careful, for so many reasons.