3. Maddison

Maddison

T he first thing I notice when I return to consciousness is the warmth of sunlight casting across my face. The next is that my head is pounding, and my mouth tastes like ass.

I roll my eyes open and flip over from my side and onto my back. It takes a second to process where I am—in River’s room, surrounded by blue walls, lying in his comfortable bed.

I’m here because I was jumped yesterday by the society. Jumped and drugged, then dragged into the woods, where I woke up confused. I thought I was going to rot out there, but River found me because of the GPS on the watch he gave me.

Wait … River …

Noah …

“Shit.” It all comes rushing back to me.

Did River save Noah?

Did River make it back safely?

Panicking, I sit up, but I move too quickly and the room spins.

“Ugh.” I press my hand to my forehead as the pulsating magnifies. Summoning a few breaths, I scoot to the edge of the bed, stand up, and make my way to the door. My legs wobble like noodles, and every muscle in my body gripes in protest.

I don’t care if they’re rich. I’m going to make the society pay for what they did to me.

Although I have a ton of other problems to worry about, I will get my revenge. Somehow.

But after I get better because, right now, I’m a mess.

When I reach the door, I brace my hand against the wall as I twist the door knob. Then I step out of the room. The dorm is hauntingly quiet, an indicator that no one is here. Worry stirs in me as I pad toward the living room, the floor cold against my bare feet.

I’m wearing a T-shirt and a pair of boxers that belong to River. I feel weird about the idea of anyone seeing me in this, but when I spot River in the kitchen in a pair of sweats and a shirt, drinking a cup of coffee, all worries about attire float away.

“Did everything go okay?” I ask, my voice hoarse.

River startles, his gaze snapping to me. He stares at me for a slamming heartbeat. Then, with a blink, he walks toward me. He’s moving slow, as if he’s exhausted. And his shoulders are slouched inward, and his legs seem stiff.

“You should stay in bed, at least for today.” He stops in front of me, his gaze roaming all over me. “You’ve been through a lot.”

I ignore him. “Is Noah okay?”

He nods, strands of his dark hair falling into his eyes. “He’s at his dorm. Finn’s okay, too—everyone is.”

I smash my lips together as a wave of relief washes over me. Tears start to burn in my eyes. I’m not even positive why, other than my mind and body have been through a lot.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay.” He cups my face between his hands. “Everyone’s safe. The debts are paid. You’re free from Drew, and no one will come after you anymore.”

I think about the society and if they’re included in that. But I don’t want to gripe to him. He’s already done enough for me.

I hurriedly wipe the tears from my eyes, loathing how weak I feel. “I’m not even sure why I’m crying. I think I’m just exhausted.”

“That’s why you should rest.” He slides his palms down my arms, and his hands settle on my waist. “I want to call a doctor to come check on you. With what happened yesterday, I think it’s a good idea.”

I waver at the idea of him paying for a doctor. “How much did you have to pay Drew to get my freedom?”

He hesitates. “What does that have to do with a doctor checking on you?”

I narrow my eyes at him—he’s acting so suspicious. “I don’t want you to do another favor for me.”

“It’s not a favor,” he stresses. “It’s a necessity, Maddy. We need to make sure you’re okay.”

I arch a brow. “Do you have to pay this doctor?”

He drags out a pause while raking his teeth along his bottom lip. “Yeah, but it’s not a big deal.”

“It is to me.” I blow out a breath. “Look, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, but I need to pay you back, or I won’t like myself very much. And I want to like myself. I’m pretty cool,” I joke, forcing a smile onto my lips.

He doesn’t return it. “I get what you’re saying, but?—”

“No, you don’t,” I cut him off in a soft but firm tone. “And I don’t mean that in a mean way. It’s just facts. You don’t know what it’s like to be poor and have people do things like buy off your father’s debt.”

His lips tug downward. “I know I don’t completely understand it, but … I know this is going to sound kind of fucked up, but money doesn’t matter to me. So doing it didn’t affect me at all.”

“Look,” I start to say while placing a hand on his side. He winces from my touch, and I frown, my gaze lowering. “Are you hurt?” Horror lashes through me. “Did Drew hit you?” I lift up the hem of his shirt, but he promptly steps away before I can get a good look.

“I’m just a little sore from my run yesterday.” He’s lying—it’s written all over his face.

“It’s your side, not your legs,” I point out. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” he insists, but he’s shifty.

“If you want me to hear you out with the money thing, then be honest with me,” I stress, crossing my arms.

He remains silent for a moment before releasing a quiet sigh. “Drew shot me.” As my eyes widen, he quickly adds, “It was a very tiny graze. It barely left a mark. It just made my muscles sore.”

God, I am the worst person ever. I sent him into that mess without thinking about this possibility. But I should have.

“Let me see.” It’s not a question. I step toward him and lift up his shirt without asking. A piece of gauze covers his side. “Can I look under it?”

“If it’ll make you feel better,” he mumbles, his muscles tense. “But I’m being serious; it isn’t that bad.”

Carefully, I peel the tape back and peer under the gauze. The wound itself is small and barely a scratch, but the splatter of bruises around it has me concerned.

“Why is there so much bruising?” I ask, peering up at him.

He’s staring down at me. “He punched me, too. But like I said, it’s not a big?—”

“Stop saying it’s not a big deal.” I step back and rake my fingers through my hair. “You were shot because of me.”

“Maddy,” he starts to protest again.

“I have to go,” I talk over him as I start for the door, totally disregarding that I’m still wearing his clothes. “I need to clear my head.”

“Wait.” He rushes after me, but I hurry out of his room.

The instant I do, the people roaming around the hallway glance in my direction. The whispering starts next.

“Can you just wait a second?” River follows me out and places a hand on my arm.

I slip my arm out of his grasp and turn to face him. “Please just give me some space. I need to think.” I lower my voice. “And you being here is making this situation worse.” I give a pressing glance at the people gawking at us.

He suddenly notices this and stiffens. “I …” When his gaze lands on me, he must see something in my expression that causes him to realize I’m a few seconds away from freaking out. “Promise me you’ll talk to me later.”

I nod, spin around, and hightail it out of there. I don’t slow down until I make it to my dorm room. Only then do I become aware that I don’t have my phone—the society took it—which means I can’t go inside my room.

Crossing my fingers that Lily is inside, I knock on the door.

“Freak,” someone whispers from behind me.

Normally, I throw them a challenging look, but right now, I’m feeling way too vulnerable. So, when Lily opens the door, I breathe in relief as I squeeze past her and rush inside, stumbling a little due to my dizziness.

She closes the door and hurries after me as I walk into the living room area. “Oh my God, are you okay? I’ve been so worried about you.”

I sink down into a chair and yank my hand through my hair. “I honestly don’t know. I feel a little sick and guilty that River has to clean up my mess. Plus, I lost my phone.” I’m babbling. Thank God, I managed to keep quiet to River about my aunt.

I lower my head into my hands. I have a headache, and I’m so exhausted I can feel it in my soul.

She takes a seat beside me and places a hand on my back. “Hey, everything will be okay. River doesn’t look at it as if he’s cleaning up your mess. If anything, it’s Noah’s fault for getting into the mess.”

“Did he tell you why he was in this mess?” I ask since I told River to hear the truth first before he judged.

“No one tells me anything. River and Finn especially keep a ton of stuff from me.” Bitterness edges into her tone. “I’m surprised they even told me what happened to you. And they didn’t tell me much.”

I lift my head and find her staring at me with hope in her eyes that maybe I’ll offer that up.

“I got jumped,” I offer her part of the truth, but I question if I should tell her the entire story. It might be dangerous for her to know. “By someone at the school, I think,” I add when confusion crosses her features.

“Someone jumped you?” She shakes her head in astonishment. “What did they do?”

“Knocked me out and dragged me into the woods. River found me because of this.” I tap the watch on my wrist. “He gave it to me the other day and apparently has a GPS in it.”

“That’s good. I mean, not that you were jumped, but that he gave that to you. But …” Her lips are parted in shock. “Why would anyone jump you?”

Again, I could tell her about the society, but Finn has stressed to be careful talking about it. Plus, I saw society members running around on the football field in cloaks and with knives. Add what they did to me, and I think Finn was right.

“Because I’m a northsider?” I shrug. “I don’t know.” It’s the truth, too.

Normally, when stuff like this happens, it’s due to my mother or father screwing me over. But this is a different world where my parents couldn’t be involved. River said it may have had to do with his initiation, but the society was already after me before that.

Her blonde hair is smoothed back in a ponytail, her makeup is done, and she has on white pants and a lavender top. It’s obvious she was heading somewhere before I showed up.

Needing a break from talking about this, I ask, “Are you heading out?”

“To class, but I can skip if you need me to,” she offers as she reaches for her bag. “Wren can take notes for me.”

I stop her with a shake of my head. “Go to class. I’m fine. I think I’m just going to go to sleep, anyway.”

She hesitates. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, we’ll talk later.” I force a smile that actually aches.

She frowns. Then, with a quiet sigh, she gets up and leaves the dorm.

I sink back into the chair and stare up at the ceiling, my brain straining to grasp what happened to me yesterday. One minute, I’d been hurrying to get to Noah, and the next, I was jumped. Then I blacked out and woke up in the woods.

Not being able to recall anything that happened between the blackout and when I woke up gives me an icky feeling that makes my stomach churn.

Maybe River is right. Perhaps I should get checked out by a doctor. But I’m not about to let him pay for one. I’ll go to the free northside clinic. I’ll skip class today, which isn’t ideal, but is necessary.

Dragging my butt up, I go into my room and change into a pair of loose jeans and a baggy T-shirt. I pull my hair into a high ponytail, slip on my sneakers, then grab my wallet. I’m lucky I didn’t have it on me yesterday, but I don’t have my phone, and I have no clue when I’ll have enough money to purchase a new one.

What the hell am I going to do? Lily is helping me get that job waitressing for the event planner her mom knows, but how am I supposed to stay connected with her if I don’t have a phone? I want to bang my head on the wall. Maybe later. Right now, I need to catch the next bus so I can move on from this.

As I’m exiting the room, River is about to knock. He startles, lowering his hand and blinking a few times

“Shit, you scared me.” He shifts his weight. “I was about to knock.”

“Yeah, I got that.” I step out and shut the door, only realizing as it clicks shut that I have no way of getting back inside.

His eyes scroll over me. “Are you going to class?”

“No.” I note he’s changed into a pair of dark jeans, a gray shirt, and thick books. His hair is styled, and the way he stares at me makes my chest annoyingly fluttery. “Are you?”

“I don’t have classes today.” He slips his hands into his pockets. “Look, I know you’re upset with me because I paid Drew off—and I really am trying to understand why you’re upset with me about it—but I’m also worried about you … I know you said you didn’t want to go to a doctor, but?—”

“I’m going to one,” I cut him off as I start down the hallway.

He follows me. “Oh … That’s good.” He gives a short pause. “Are you going to the one on campus?”

I slow to a stop, and he does, too.

“There’s one on campus?”

He nods, sweeping his fingers through his hair. “It’s a free clinic.”

“I didn’t know they had one. I guess I can just go to that one. Where is it?”

He chews on his bottom lip. “My family’s private doctor is the best in the city. Are you sure you don’t?—”

“Yes, I’m sure,” I answer before he can even finish. “Can you please show me where the clinic is?”

He smashes his lips together for a beat. Then he nods before starting forward again, heading toward main office.

The hallways are relatively empty, but a few people are lingering around, watching River and me.

“I thought everyone would stop staring by now,” I mumble as I hug my arms around myself.

“It’s because we’re dating,” he reminds me of our fake dating agreement.

Speaking of which … “Why did I get targeted by, well, you know?” I say quietly to avoid being overheard. “Did you find anything out from Finn?”

He hesitates then tension fills his body as he scans the hallway. “I did, but let’s talk about it after you get looked at, okay? And in a more private setting.”

He’s right. I know it, but I wish we could talk about it now.

I reluctantly tell him, “Okay.”

He falls silent for a bit, his gaze glued to the floor. “I don’t know if you still want to fake date me, but if so, maybe I should hold your hand since people are staring.” He lifts his gaze to mine.

Right. But the point of fake dating was to protect me from the society, and that clearly didn’t work.

“I know what you’re thinking,” River says under his breath. “But I promise it’s better if we still do it.” He offers me his hand, silently asking me if I trust him.

I don’t trust easily, but he saved me a few times. And while I refuse to be a damsel in distress, I’m so grateful he found me yesterday. So, I take his hand.

A relieved breath eases from his lips as he threads his fingers through mine.

We continue the walk, holding hands and attempting to ignore the amount of attention we’re drawing. In order to get to the clinic, we have to exit the main building and hike across the grass that stretches past the track and to a building located near the back of the campus, near the trees. The building is an ancient, brick-like structure that has been nicely renovated. Above the double-door entrance is a sign that reads, “ Royal Academy Clinic. ”

River holds the door open for me as we enter. The air smells like lemons, and the waiting area is spacious, with comfortable chairs and tables stacked with books. The receptionist’s desk is in the corner, and the woman behind it is in her thirties and has short blonde hair.

She greets me with a smile. “How can I help you?”

To be honest, I’m not sure I know how to answer. “Um … I need to get a check-up.”

She continues to smile at me warmly, and I’m so grateful for that. She asks me questions and types the answers into her computer. When we’re finished, she tells me to take a seat and the nurse will call me back in a few minutes.

River and I sit down near the corner, and I stretch my legs out, yawning.

“I still feel so tired,” I admit as I recline back in the chair.

“You should go get some rest after you’re finished here.” He rests an arm behind me, the scent of his cologne engulfing my nostrils. “You’ve been through a lot.”

I look at him. “I will after we talk.” I waver. “Actually, I need to run a few errands, too, so after that.”

He frowns. “What errands?”

Like I’m going to tell him that I need to figure out how to find my phone—he’ll just try to buy me a new one.

“Just some stuff. Private stuff,” I stress, hoping he’ll drop it.

I can tell he doesn’t want to, but ultimately keeps his lips sealed.

As we sit in the silence, my eyelids begin to lower as exhaustion tugs at me.

“You can rest your head on my shoulder if you need to,” River whispers in my ear.

I shouldn’t, but I’m too tired to care. So I twist my body and lean into him, resting my head on the curve of his shoulder.

His arm slips lower, and his fingers slip through the strands of my hair soothingly.

“I’m still mad at you for paying off Drew with so much money,” I mumble with my eyes shut. “But thank you.”

His nose brushes my hair—I think he might be smelling it. “You’re welcome, Maddison.”

God, does my heart do crazy things in my chest at the sound of my full name coming off of his pretty lips.

I’m so damn screwed. I know this. Not only is he a royal, but he’s a betrothed royal. I should lift my head and go back to being mad at him, but I can’t bring myself to. Dammit, this is going to end poorly, yet I can’t find the energy to care. Instead, I end up falling asleep with my head resting on his shoulder and the scent of his cologne circling in my dreams.

River wakes me up when the nurse calls me back by smoothing his hand over my cheek gently. When I open my eyes, he’s staring down at me with a trace of concern.

“Hey,” he says softly. “They’re calling you back.”

“Oh.” I straighten and stand up, my gaze traveling to the woman dressed in scrubs, standing in the doorway in the far back. She has an iPad in her hand and offers me a smile.

“Are you Maddison?”

I nod and start to walk toward her when River calls out, “I’ll wait out here for you.”

I twist back around toward him. “You don’t have to.”

“I know, but I want to.” He reclines back in the chair and stretches out his legs, getting comfortable and showing me that he means his words.

I exhale loudly. He’s so stubborn.

And nice.

Too nice.

I don’t even know how to handle that.

Instead, I focus on talking to the nurse as she takes me back into a room and asks me questions. I don’t give her the details of what actually happened, even though I want to. But I worry that the society will find out and come after me again.

So, I lie and say I fell and hit my head. The nurse assesses me skeptically, like she can tell I’m lying. That’s a new one. Usually, I’m much better at lying, but I’m also tired.

She takes my vitals, and I’m relieved when she informs me everything appears to be good on that part. Then she leaves me alone to wait for the doctor to come in. It takes a bit, but the doctor eventually enters. She examines me, asks a series of questions, and then gives me some annoying news.

“You show signs of having a concussion, so you’ll need to take it easy for a handful of days.” She slips off her gloves and tosses them into the trash. “I’ll email you some follow-up instructions, and I’d like to see you again in three to four days.”

Great, my training is going to get screwed up.

“Does that include not running?” I ask, although I’m pretty certain I already know the answer.

She gives me a tolerant look. “Yes, that includes running.” She taps a few keys on the computer screen. “It’s important that you don’t do anything to risk getting another injury, as well.” She glances over the screen. “How did you say you fell?”

“I never said.” I pick at my fingernails. “I was doing exercises on the bleachers.”

She glances at me with wariness in her eyes. “Are you sure that’s what happened?”

What the heck is with the accusatory questions?

“Yes.” That’s all I offer.

I hate this.

I hate being afraid.

Will there ever be a time in my life where I won’t be?