20. River

River

I try not to think about Maddy showering at the same time that I am, but she creeps into my mind as I stand under the showerhead, letting the warm water cascade over me. Her long legs, and the way her tattoo curled around her thigh … her big eyes … her toned abdomen … those full lips that I kissed while we stood out underneath that canopy …

I have no idea what I was thinking when I did that, other than want.

Want.

Want.

So much want.

“Dammit,” I curse as my thoughts become consumed by Maddy.

I’ve never had this problem before. Sure, I’ve thought other women were hot, but I’ve never become infatuated with someone this fast. It’s that stupid connection I felt with her when our gazes locked while we were both stuck in jail …

Well, that and her smile …

And body …

And the way she makes me smile …

I groan in frustration at my brain’s inability to turn off. It needs to because we can’t go there. It’ll be disastrous if we do—heartbreaking, really. Because nothing can ever happen between Maddy and me but a hookup, and I feel in my soul that she’s just not the kind of girl I can do that with.

Too much of a connection exists already.

After spending an unnecessary amount of time in the shower, I eventually turn on the cold water to cool off, climb out, dry myself off, and then get dressed in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt before returning to the room I instructed Maddy to go to once she’s finished cleaning up.

She isn’t there yet, but Finn is lounging in one of the sofas, scrolling on his phone. His hair is damp, and he’s changed into gray pants and a black shirt.

“She’s still in the shower,” he says without glancing at me.

“I didn’t ask.” I sink into a chair across from where he’s sitting and stare out the window.

The sunlight is now peeking through the clouds and reflects against the nearby buildings, giving the city a sparkling illusion when, really, shadows and darkness lay underneath the surface.

“But you were thinking about it.” He taps his screen before setting his phone down beside him. Then he tucks his hand beneath his head and looks at me. “You were probably thinking about her while you were taking a shower, with how long it took you.”

I pick up a throw pillow and chuck it at him. “Shut the hell up.”

The pillow smacks him in the face, but he merely laughs. “That didn’t sound like a denial.”

I bounce my knee up and down, restlessly anxious at the subject, so I change it. “Why do you think that Drew guy was so determined to get a hold of her?”

Finn lowers his feet to the floor as he sits up. “I don’t know. I wish she’d just tell us so we could help.”

“You don’t know if we can when you have no clue what the problem is.”

“Every problem has a solution.” Finn gives me a look. It’s the same look he has been giving me since our father informed me that I’d be marrying Isla. Finn believes a solution exists, but he also dodges around many of his responsibilities without having to deal with consequences, leaving his outlook on life slightly different from mine.

“Still, just letting Father win, then, I see.” He folds his arms and the muscle in his jaw ticks. “I wish you’d fight back.”

“It’s pointless.” What I don’t say is that if I did, and somehow managed to get out of the arrangement, it’d probably fall onto Finn. And he’s not equipped to handle that.

“Whatever.” Finn slants forward, rests his arms on his knees, and twists the ring on his finger. “While we’re discussing problems, I think I should bring up one that I’m aware has to do with Maddy.”

I stretch my legs out and cross them. “Okay.” Confusion rings in my tone.

He lifts his gaze to mine. “It has to do with the society.”

That reduces my confusion. “They’re hazing her—that’s what the message on the door was about.” I had my suspicions already, but I also questioned if it was for Lily.

She’s been bullied in the past, and we’re all worried it’ll carry on into this school, even though we’re adults now. But people can be ruthless, and Lily became an easy target after that incident in high school, one that I only have the vague details of since she refuses to tell anyone all the specifics.

I’ve tried, many times.

“It’s more than just hazing, brother.” He flicks an invisible piece of lint off his shirt. “You know Eli’s one of the leaders this year, right?” he asks, and I nod. “Well, he’s shown an extra amount of interest in her. In fact, he’s been relentlessly asking me questions about her because, apparently, word got out that we know each other. Although, I feel like that’s a stretch. Still, he’s been asking a lot about her, and it’s just odd. I know Maddy is different from us in many ways, which could be behind his interest, but it doesn’t feel that way … Something is off. I just don’t know what.”

“Wait … was he the one who grabbed her at the party?” Anger bites at my veins at the idea.

“I’m not sure, honestly. No one’s mentioned it, but they also don’t tell me everything, either.”

“Maybe you should just leave the society. That way, they can’t ask you questions. I don’t know why you accepted the invitation when we both vowed never to join it.” Bitterness lingers in my veins even now as I think about how Finn betrayed me and joined behind my back. He never explained why, either. Just said he had to.

While Finn and I usually have twin telepathy, it’s been broken for the last couple of years, ever since our father had the affair, resulting in the divorce, a new stepmother, and the dissolving of our friendship with Noah.

“I can’t.” Finn sweeps a strand of his hair out of his eyes and sits back without elaborating, avoiding just like he always does. “What I can do is try to figure out what the society’s interest in Maddy is. I just have to be careful.”

“You sure you want to do that? You know there are a ton of risks if you get caught.”

“You want me to just leave it and let the girl you’ve been obsessing about since we were in jail deal with it on her own?” he challenges, his brow curving upward. “Because she may be street smart, and even book smart, but Royal Society smart is something I don’t believe she’s ever had to deal with. They’ll eat her alive—you know they will.”

He’s right, and while I wish I didn’t care, I do.

“Fine, but be careful,” I tell Finn. “And I don’t think we should tell her anything until we know what’s going on.”

“We can try,” Finn stresses, “but she’s already been asking me a ton of questions about the society. I guess she’s been researching online for some reason. Plus, she almost saw the secret entrance to the tunnel in the library.”

That baffles the hell out of me. “What?”

“She saw me and Eli talking, and Lily told her that Eli bullied her, so Maddy thought it was weird that I was talking to him, and so Lily and her decided to follow me. They didn’t see exactly where the entrance is, but Maddy saw me go into the library and that I didn’t come out, so she’s suspicious.” He scratches his head. “Hopefully, she’ll let it go, because if they find out she’s looking into them, they might target her even harder.”

“I still want to know why they’re targeting her.” I rub my hand across my forehead, feeling a headache coming on.

“We’ll look into it,” he assures me. “Until then, we’ll keep an eye on her.”

I nod in agreement.

We need to get answers before something worse than a message on the door happens to Maddy.