17. River

River

I ’ve felt lonely my entire life, even when I’m with my brother or with friends and family. Because I’m the firstborn.

Yeah, Finn and I are twins, but I came into this world first. So, I’m officially the heir to my family’s fortune and business. I’m also obligated to marry whoever my parents want. Sure, I could deny them, but that would leave my family’s fortune and business to fall apart. And that would leave my siblings with nothing. I can’t do that to them, so I live this life where I have no say in anything I do.

And I feel alone.

But then I was in jail, and I saw Maddison talking on the phone with her mother, and I felt this connection, like this beautiful girl was in the same boat as I’ve been in my entire life. The one where I had to take on too much responsibility at a young age. The one where I feel broken but do my best to keep it together.

I’ve never felt that with anyone ever. And I never thought I’d feel it with a girl from northside. The problem is nothing can come out of this other than a friendship, even if I find myself staring at her long legs and beautiful eyes far longer than I should.

She’s so beautiful it’s insane. But I can’t act on it.

My arranged marriage may not take place until I’m twenty-one, and my parents never set a rule where I can’t date until then, but what would be the point? I date and what happens if I fall for someone? Then I break their heart, and mine, and I spend the rest of my life aching with the memory of what I lost.

No, things are much better this way.

“So, I heard a rumor about you.” Finn appears in my line of vision as I’m lying on the bench, about to lift a set of weights.

The sound of clanking weights fills the air, along with the stench of sweat.

He has his blond hair pulled back, and he’s sporting a T-shirt with the Royal Academy Ravens football team logo on it.

I grip the bar. “Isn’t there always a rumor going around about me?”

He moves around and stands near my head to spot me. “Sure, but this one was more interesting than any other I’ve heard.”

I grunt as I lift the weight. I already know where he’s going with this, so I don’t even bother asking before I lift.

“And it has to do with a pretty northside girl who’s got more snark than anyone I’ve ever met.” His hand follows the bar as I lift it up and down. “She plays a mean game of whiskey pong, too.”

I lift one more time before setting the bar down. Then I sit up and grab my bottle of water. “You shouldn’t have talked her into playing that. She ended up getting sick.”

He frowns. “Really? She didn’t drink that much. At least, while we were playing.”

“Yeah, but she told me she doesn’t usually drink a lot.” I reach for a towel to wipe the sweat off my head. “And to you, a little bit to drink is a lot for most people.”

He rolls his eyes. “Only you think that.”

I could argue with him, but I have more important things to talk to him about. “Whatever.” I swing my leg over to the side and sit on the edge of the bench. “Off the subject just a little, but last night, while Maddy was leaving the bathroom at the party, someone grabbed her.”

“ What ?”

I twist the cap back on the bottle of water. “She got away and everything. I actually ran into her like a minute after it happened, and it’s part of the reason why I walked her back to the dorm.”

“Sure it was,” he says, like it’s not the reason at all.

He could be slightly right, but I won’t admit that aloud.

“Anyway, do you have any idea who could’ve done it?”

“No. Why would I?”

“Because that’s more of your scene. Plus?—”

“Don’t,” he hisses, flicking a frantic glance around the room. “Don’t bring that up here.”

He’s probably right, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t need to be discussed.

“Fine.” I stand up and collect my bag. “But later, when we get to our dorm, we’re continuing this conversation.”

He throws me a dirty look and a one-fingered salute before walking off.

I exit the weight room and turn right down the hallway, heading toward my dorm so I can take a shower before I have to go to class. I’m halfway there when Noah falls into step beside me.

The muscle in my jaw ticks. Noah and I used to be best friends until his mother had an affair with my father, which resulted in the divorce of my parents. Noah was aware of the affair before Finn and I were, and he never thought to tell us. It was a shit move on his part, and now I no longer trust him.

“Hey, so I heard this thing about you,” he starts.

“Let me guess. You heard that I was hanging out with Maddison Averly?” I ask without glancing at him.

“That’s part of it.” He opens and flexes his hands at his sides. “I also heard you might not be pledging?—”

I grind to a halt. “You really want to have that conversation out in the open?” I question in a low tone while giving a pressing glance around the hallway.

Finn was right to stop me from discussing this very subject when I brought it up while we were in the workout room.

“I …” He trails off. “Sorry, it’s just that your father asked me to?—”

I step toward him and, in a low tone, warn, “Do not mention my father to me—ever.” I could hit him—I should. I should’ve a long time ago when I first learned about his betrayal.

“I …” He starts to continue with a splash of worry on his face, but I walk off before he can finish.

I won’t talk to him about my father, but that doesn’t make me question the fact that my father sent him to ask me about my refusal to apply for the society. I ignored their request weeks ago, and I knew then that my father would be furious about it. He already controls my every move, though, and this was my attempt to at least try to have a drop of control over my life.

So, yeah, I expected him to come after me for not joining. What I didn’t expect was for him to send Noah.

It’s not like Noah is a fan of his. Never has been. So, why is he playing message bitch boy for my dad?

I’m not sure, but I’m going to find out.