Chapter 32

Ellax

W hether intentionally or not, she'd referred to my house as our home . Together. Surprisingly, I liked the idea of it. And yet, when I climbed from the transport and offered Lorelai my hand to assist her, I felt a tug of guilt and sorrow when I gazed at my mansion. Had I ever considered Druea's thoughts on our home? I'd been content to allow her to run the household, decorate the house, and do as she pleased, so long as I was not inconvenienced in any way, and as long as my needs were met. When had I ever actually considered her, though? Or our son? The three of us—we had lived entirely separate lives. Bound by blood, but not by affection.

Could that be changed? If I acknowledged my failings as a father, as a husband, would the stars allow me to begin again with this human female? Or even with Caide?

If I brought war to Earth, would I ever be able to forge a relationship with Caide? Caide liked the humans. Sympathized with them. Forged friendships with them. Would he forgive me if the plan to destroy the wild humans went through and I had pushed for it? Or rather, hadn't fought against it?

"This house is beautiful."

The simple statement shook me from my thoughts. I turned to the female at my side. Her neck craned as she gazed up my house. Built from white marble, pillars and scrollwork stretched across its front. A wide veranda ran the length of its face. Due to Asterion's generally warm, temperate weather, it was a lovely place to rest in the sun or to host gatherings of friends or peers. Mountains, luscious with greenery, rose in the background, a firm reminder of Asterion's natural bounty. Fountains on either end of the house played soft, watery music. Gorgil swam gently in the ponds, playing beneath the fountains.

"Thank you," I said. "I hope you will be comfortable here."

She flashed me a smile. "I'm sure it's far more luxurious than anything I could ever imagine," she teased. "We both know that. No need to be so formal. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

"True."

Druea and I had always been formal with one another. It was the way of Asterion nobility. I was slowly gathering that human customs were different.

There was much to ponder as I walked her inside. A mecha stood in the doorway welcoming me home in a slightly tinny voice. Fertis, one of the three mechas who served my household, offered drinks and food. I turned to Lorelai.

"Are you hungry?"

She nodded. "Honestly, yes. I probably shouldn't be, considering everything that's gone on, but it's been hours since I've eaten."

She was correct. It had been.

"Send a meal to my rooms," I said. "And have the adjoining rooms prepared for Lorelai. She is my new wife, and the new mistress of this house."

"Yes, sir," the mecha intoned. He spun about on the tiny wheels beneath the bottom of his feet and glided noiselessly from the room.

Thinking the matter was settled, I started to walk on, leading Lorelai inward. She caught me with a hand to my sleeve.

"The adjoining rooms?" she asked.

I paused mid-step, puzzled. "Yes, the adjoining rooms. Did you wish your chambers further from mine?

"I…" She pursed her lips, glanced around, then asked quietly, "Why aren't we, um, sharing rooms?"

"Sharing rooms?"

Druea and I had never shared rooms, except temporarily for coupling.

"I suppose…"

Why? Was it because Druea and I had not liked one another very much? Was it because we preferred our own space? Or was it an unspoken rule among Asterion nobility?

My mind flashed to my living child and I frowned. I had little knowledge of his private relationship with his new wife, yet I could hardly imagine them living the formal, restricted relationship that Druea and I had shared.

"I suppose it is simply all I've ever done," I replied honestly.

"It seems weird to me." She rubbed her forearms, as if encouraging herself to speak up despite her discomfort. "I know we haven't had our pact witnessed yet, but if we're going to be married—and it appears we're going to have to be married for several years, at least—I'd like to make it feel as real as possible. Wouldn't you?"

Something in me craved what she sought. Honesty. Vulnerability. Intimacy. A real marriage. Not married in name, while both of us walked different directions and had as little to do with one another as possible.

Is this what it means to have not merely a wife but a mate?

Earlier, when I'd marveled rather than mocked my concern for her fear of heights, the notion of Lorelai as my mate had threaded its way into my brain. Now it exploded, striking me like a comet from the universe, shattering against Asterion's invisible shields.

Mate.

Is she my mate?

Staring down at this human female who had unexpectedly entered my life and changed everything, I tried to absorb the concept.

Caide claimed a human female as his mate. The things I feel for Lorelai…are so different than anything I've ever felt for any other female…is this possible?

"Ellax?"

Her quiet question splintered my churning thoughts.

"Yes," I said. "Yes, I would also like to have our union feel as real as possible."

"Then…no adjoining rooms?"

I nodded. "No adjoining rooms. I will change my orders to Fertis."

"The robot has a name?" she giggled. It was the most charming, endearing sound I had ever heard.

Stop this! What sort of folly is this?

I caught myself before I could smile at her humor.

"Even though they are mechas, they are functioning members of our households and society," I replied a little sternly. A little too sternly, truth be told, but I was attempting to quash these shocking new feelings towards her behind a mask of indifference.

She raised an eyebrow. "Wow. Almost sounds like you Asterions have more feelings for your non-sentient robots than you do for an entire species back on Earth."

Another uncomfortable truth that threatened to stop me in my tracks. This one was far more unpleasant.

"All things in their order," was the only reply I could think to make.

The truth was, unless the average Asterion had visited Earth themselves or had relatives living on the planet, most interacted far more with their mechas than they ever would with a human. Which was why, I considered, clasping Lorelai's elbow and guiding her towards my—our—rooms, she could be a vital, living symbol of Earth, its prime species, and what it meant to Asterion. Even if we were to wipe out the non-compliant humans.

I breathed out harshly to ease the tightness in my chest.

Especially if.