Chapter 5

Mia

After Mia closed the door to her room, she let out a deep breath. Exhausted, she walked over to the bed and plopped down, then leaned back and closed her eyes. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks from her closed eyes.

Although she knew they would have a platonic relationship, she hadn't expected to feel the rejection that was weighing so heavily on her. She had been used to turning men down. She wasn't used to being the one rejected. And never had she thought she would be rejected by her own husband.

No, she had to steel her heart against him, or she would never survive. She would open it up to the children, but not to him. He had set the rules and now she was determined to live by them.

Knowing she was being ridiculous, Mia sat up, wiped the tears from her cheeks, and crossed the room to her trunk. Then she pulled the chair from the small round table over to it and started rummaging through, looking for a handkerchief to keep by her bed just in case. Then again, maybe she'd feel better if she washed her face.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, causing her to jump. When she opened it, Caleb was standing on the other side.

"Sorry for the interruption." He looked over at her open trunk, but made no effort to walk in. "Look. Why don't you leave that? I have other plans. After all, it is our wedding night."

Mia's eyes opened wide. Of all the things she had expected to come from his mouth, that wasn't one of them. Her heart pounded as she looked around, and her eyes landed on a glass vase setting near her on the dresser. She grabbed it and held it above her head. "Don't you even think of coming near me tonight!"

One corner of Caleb's mouth curled into a smile, revealing a dimple on his cheek. "No, that's not what I meant. I just wanted to take you and the children to dinner in the restaurant downstairs." He walked over to her and slowly took the vase from her hand, his big blue eyes never leaving hers, suppressing a smile. "And let's try not to break anything tonight. I can't afford to replace it."

Mia lowered her hands, feeling like an idiot. Of course he wouldn't want to touch her or come near her, even if it was their wedding night. "I'm sorry. I thought…."

Caleb arched an eyebrow, suppressing a smile.

"Never mind what I thought." She wiped her hands on her dress. "Give me a minute to freshen up and I'll be right over."

He nodded once and walked out, closing the door behind him.

Mia headed over to the bed, trying to keep what little that was left of her dignity. She sat on the edge of the bed as tears brimmed her eyes. But she didn't have time for a good cry. She would save that for later.

Instead, she squared her shoulders and resigned herself to make the best of the situation. Her mother would have told her as much, if she were still alive. Mia crossed the room to a beige porcelain basin and pitcher with pretty pink and blue flowers along the edge, poured some water, and splashed some on her face, careful not to muss her dress. Then she smoothed the loose blonde tendrils back, slipped on a pair of beige gloves to match her dress, and adjusted her hat and pinned it back into place. She pinched her cheeks and then walked out and closed the door behind her.

When Caleb opened the door to his room, his eyes flickered with interest for a split second as he took her in, but it was so quick it caused her to wonder if she were just seeing things. He and the children were standing in the center of the room, their hair combed, and Hailey's dress straightened. "Ready?"

She nodded. "Yes. Are you?"

Shane narrowed his eyes at Mia, and then ran out the door.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Deep down, Mia was asking about much more than just going downstairs to dinner. "We can bring something up instead, if you like."

Caleb nodded in the direction Shane went. "Just give him time. He'll come around." It was almost as if he was saying it about himself, too. "Let's go."

As she walked into the hallway, Hailey left her father's side and slipped her hand into Mia's, taking her by surprise. "Ready to go, baby girl?"

A broad grin spread across Hailey's face, nodding excitedly.

When they stopped at the top of the stairs, Shane was waiting at the foot with his arms folded across his chest. He looked away when he saw them.

Mia pretended not to notice.

Caleb extended his arm to her, the perfect gentleman. After she slid her arm in his, he led her and Hailey down the stairs, meeting Shane at the bottom.

"Hmph," Shane grunted as he turned away, his arms still folded.

Caleb frowned as he looked down at his son. "Straighten up."

"Welcome!" A waitress approached, her face bright, a bit too chipper. "My! Don't you look fine this evening! Four for dinner?"

Caleb smiled. "Yes, please."

The waitress lifted two menus from the box beside the stand. "Right this way." Mia and Caleb followed her until she stopped before a round table and set the menus down at two place settings. Caleb held the chair for her as she sat and then slid into the chair across from her. The children sat on the other chairs between them. "What can I bring you to drink?"

"Lemonade all around," Caleb answered without even asking her.

"Okay. I'll have that out to you in a minute. By the way, my name's Dolly, if you need anything."

"Thanks, Dolly." Mia opened her menu and Dolly walked away. Then Hailey climbed onto her lap and smoothed her hand over her gloves.

"You like these?" Mia asked.

Hailey nodded. Mia observed that she didn't say much. Losing her mother had obviously taken a toll on her.

"Well then! I'll have to make you a pair."

A crease formed between Hailey's eyes. "How did you do that?"

"Make these?"

Hailey nodded.

"I sew. In New York, I used to sew for a lot of people."

"And you danced, too," Shane added flatly.

"Shane!" Caleb scolded. "You apologize to Mia right now."

Mia wondered how he knew, but she guessed that he must have overheard his father talking. Her heart sank as she wondered who else he had told. She wasn't ashamed of having been a dancehall girl, but she didn't want to be reminded of it constantly, either.

"No, I won't," Shane yelled, "because it's true!"

Caleb was about to say something else, but Mia intervened. "Yes, I was also a dancer in New York. But my favorite thing to do was to sew. In fact, I'm going to make you both some new clothes when I have the chance."

"My clothes are just fine," Shane blurted out.

"Pa, too?" Hailey asked, her eyes hopeful.

Caleb looked at her out of the corner of his eye.

"Yes, of course." Mia smiled. "And I'll teach you, too, when you're old enough. Would you like that?"

Hailey nodded excitedly.

"She doesn't need to know how to sew," Shane retorted.

"Shane!" Caleb warned. "That's quite enough!"

Mia pretended not to notice. "Everyone should know how to sew. I can show you how to sew, too, if you like. Or I could show you how to make candles."

Shane's eyebrows rose. "You know how to make candles?"

Mia nodded. "I sure do."

"It's good that you came when you did," Caleb said without looking at her. "In December, the blizzard had locked down the town completely. The pass was closed and there was no way in or out. You would have been stuck in Laramie until I could come to get you."

Shane chuckled under his breath. Mia was sure that images of her freezing to death in the blizzard were going through his mind.

"I just hope we don't get snowed in here." Mia started to peruse her menu and then smiled. "But we can make the best of it if we are."

Caleb nodded. "Yes, but I don't think that it'll be necessary. This is the first snow we've had since the blizzard. It'll probably stop snowing by morning."

"Good because I don't want to be stuck here with her."

"Shane!"

"She's not my mother!" Shane got up and ran to the front of the restaurant and placed his hands on his hips.

"Shane!" Mia called to him, trying not to make a scene. "Come here!"

Shane planted his feet firmly on the floor. "You're not my mother, and you can't tell me what to do!"

Mia's mouth fell open in horror as they caught the attention of everyone in the restaurant.

"Shane! Get over here and apologize to Mia right now!" Caleb's voice bellowed as he rose from his seat.

A tall man with broad shoulders, wearing a cowboy hat standing at the front smiled. "Looks like you have your hands full tonight, mister."

Finding inspiration from Shane, Hailey slipped off Mia's lap and started running around, Caleb caught her and shoved her in Mia's arms again. Then Caleb marched across the room through the tables as Shane's eyes grew wide. Then he took off up the stairs toward their hotel rooms with his father hot on his heels, much to Mia's horror.

Mia forced a smile as Hailey started to whimper. "It's okay, Hailey." She rubbed Hailey's back in a soothing motion, trying to calm her.

Dolly approached the table and set four glasses of lemonade down. "I'm so sorry it took a minute."

"No need to worry," Mia replied as she set Hailey in a chair. But Hailey started crying and reached out for Mia, kicking her feet. Mia picked her back up and set her on her lap.

"You must be new to town," the waitress observed in a friendly voice.

"Yes, we are. My husband lives in Whiskey River." Mia cringed at the slip.

Dolly's eyebrows pulled together in concern as she frowned. "Don't you live there, too?"

"We just got married today," Mia replied, quickly losing her patience. "What do you have for dinner? We haven't eaten all day, and the children are hungry."

Dolly's eyes flew open wide. "Oh! Yes, ma'am! Ralph's fried chicken is the best."

"I'll take some, and bring her a chicken leg, too." Mia looked down at Hailey, and then added, "Make it two."

"What vegetables would you like?" Dolly asked, waiting patiently.

"Mashed potatoes for Hailey, and I'll take whatever you have."

Hailey was crying openly now, so Mia picked her up and started rocking her back and forth.

"Mashed potatoes, corn, and green beans okay?" Dolly asked.

Mia knew that Dolly meant well, but couldn't she see that she had her hands full?

"Yes, that's fine."

"Don't you ever run away from me like that again!" Caleb's voice bellowed throughout the restaurant as he marched down the stairs with a crying Shane tucked under his arm. "And you owe Mia an apology!"

"Never!" Shane wailed. "She ain't my mama!"

"And don't you use the word ‘ain't'! Your mother taught you better than that!" Caleb looked around the restaurant, and then marched toward Mia with all eyes on him. He appeared not to notice.

Thank goodness the restaurant wasn't crowded. But Mia was sure that they would be the talk of the town by morning. Thank goodness they didn't live here.

"I'm so sorry about this." Caleb planted Shane hard onto a chair and then pointed his finger at him. "Sit there and don't you move!"

"Umm…." It was obvious that Dolly didn't quite know what to say. "What would you like, sir?"

Besides a corral? Mia thought as she continued to rock Hailey, who was falling asleep on her shoulder.

"What's she having?" Caleb asked, nodding toward Mia.

"She is having the fried chicken," Mia replied, quickly losing her patience. The least he could do was not to talk about her as if she wasn't there.

Caleb appeared not to notice as Dolly waited, stunned. "I'll have the same, and so will he."

"No, I won't!" Shane folded his arms across his chest. "I'm never going to eat again!"

"That could be arranged," Caleb agreed.

Shane's eyes flew open wide.

"I think that'll be all," Mia stage-whispered to Dolly.

Caleb slid the lemonade sitting in front of him aside. "On second thought, could you bring me some coffee?"

At that moment, Mia realized that she didn't know the first thing about Caleb. In the few days while she was preparing to move, she had created an image of him within her mind. The perfect man with the perfect children in the perfect town. But she had no idea who the real-live man was sitting across from her now.

"Yes, I'd be glad to." Dolly's eyes shifted between them. "I'll be right back." Then she left the table as quickly as she could, obviously questioning their sanity.

Mia couldn't blame her for wanting to get away as quickly as possible. If Mia could have left, she would have, too.

"Your hair is too light!" Shane yelled at Mia out of the blue. "My ma didn't looked like you!"

Tears welled up within Mia's eyes, as her stomach began to tighten. "I'm not your mother, Shane, and I don't intend to take her place."

"That's it, young man!" Caleb yelled. "You're going straight to bed when we get upstairs!" He turned to Mia. "I am so sorry. He never behaves this way."

Mia gave him a small smile, trying to will the tears in her eyes to keep from spilling over as a lump formed in her throat. The last thing Caleb needed right now was a blubbering wife. "It's okay."

"No, it's not okay." Caleb narrowed his eyes at his son. "We're going to have a serious talk when we get upstairs, young man."

"Here you go!" Dolly interrupted, setting the plates on the table filled with fried chicken, corn on the cob, green beans, and mashed potatoes topped with brown gravy.

It smelled delicious to Mia, but her stomach was so tight that she didn't think she could eat. "Thank you. It looks delicious."

Dolly smiled. "I'll let Ralph know. Is there anything else I can get you?"

"No, we're fine," Caleb replied without looking at Mia.

Mia shook her head. The least he could have done was to ask her if she wanted anything instead of answering for her. Caleb didn't have to treat her as he would a wife, but she demanded respect and common courtesy as an adult.

"Well, if you change your mind, let me know," Dolly announced a bit too cheerfully, as she hurried from the table.

Shane started to push his plate away, but Caleb pushed it back and then said in a low voice, "You are going to eat. I'm paying good money for this meal, and you are not going to let it go to waste."

"I didn't ask for it." Shane folded his arms across his chest.

"But you will eat it," Caleb corrected sternly.

Shane started to push the plate away again but stopped when Caleb glared at him.

Hailey was asleep on her shoulder, so Mia laid her across her lap and continued to rock her. She picked up a chicken leg and took a bite, but crumbs fell onto Hailey, so she set it back on the plate.

"Here." Caleb reached for his daughter. "Let me take her so you can eat."

But Mia just shook her head. "No, you go ahead. I'll eat in a bit."

Caleb nodded, and then dug into his meal.

Shane picked at his dinner, but then hunger must have taken over and he started eating with gusto.

They ate in silence, and everyone in the restaurant turned their attention back to their own conversations.

Mia took a sip of her lemonade. "So, how long have you lived in Whiskey River?"

Caleb set down his chicken breast, letting out a deep breath. "Jessica and I moved here after I became a preacher. I found out they needed a preacher here, so we talked about it and then decided to move. Shane was just a baby."

Mia nodded. "So, for about three years?"

He swallowed the bite of chicken in his mouth. "Have you always lived in New York?"

Mia shook her head. "No, I'm originally from Connecticut. I moved to New York after my parents died."

Caleb's demeanor suddenly changed, obviously going into his preacher persona, appearing to put his own needs aside to focus on her. "Oh. I'm so sorry to hear that."

Mia gave him a small smile. "And what about your parents?"

Caleb let out a deep breath. "My mother died when I was young, and my father still lives in San Francisco."

Mia's head snapped up. "You're from California?"

He nodded. "In fact, my father still preaches there." He sighed. "When I took the job in Whiskey River, I tried to get him to come with us, but he refused, wanting to stay there and attend his congregation, saving people from the sin of greed. You know, from the Gold Rush, even though it was years ago." He took a sip of his coffee and set it down. "But in his defense, people still go out there looking for gold. Greed can be very controlling."

"I'm so sorry to hear that."

Caleb shrugged. "I'm not. I have no regrets." He stood and looked down at Hailey. "Here. Let me take her while you eat."

"Are you finished?" Mia asked, concerned.

He smiled. "I've had more than you. Besides, I can eat and rock at the same time."

Mia nodded, guessing that she had a lot to learn about parenting, if only for her own survival. "Thank you."

"Come here, princess," he cooed as he scooped his sleeping daughter into his arms. "I'll be right back." Mia nodded, and he walked with his daughter to the front of the restaurant by the windows to talk to the man behind the counter.

Mia let out a deep breath as she looked down at her untouched food.

"I'll take it if you don't want it," Shane blurted out.

"No, you have plenty. Now, eat," Mia said, having had enough of his antics.

A broad grin spread across his face. "So, what are you going to do? Tell my father?"

Mia forced a smile. "No, I'll take away your privileges."

The boy's eyebrows pulled together. "What do you mean?"

Mia shrugged, still smiling. "It means that you won't be allowed to play with your toys, and you will only be allowed to go outside to do your chores… until I say otherwise."

Shane stood so quickly that his chair fell backward, crashing to the floor. "You can't do that to me!"

"Oh yes I can, and I will," Mia replied softly. "Now, pick up your chair and eat. You won't get anything else tonight."

"Pa!" Shane whined as he marched across the restaurant to his father.

Leaving the chair on the floor, Mia unfolded her napkin and laid it across her lap. The lump in her throat was so large that it nearly prevented her from swallowing… nearly. Determined not to let a child get the best of her, she forced herself to eat, even though it felt like it was going to come back up with every bite.

A moment later, Caleb marched over to the table, picked up the chair, and pointed to it as he looked at his son. "Sit down and eat! And I don't want to hear any more about it!"

Tears rimmed Shane's eyes as he sat at the table and started eating without another word.

Mia smiled as she ate. When she forced down the last bite of food, she dabbed daintily at the corners of her mouth with her napkin, laid it on the table, and then looked over at Shane. "Are you ready?"

Shane was picking at his potatoes, but had made a sizeable dent in his plate, despite his protests and antics. He looked up and smirked at Mia. "Almost."

Mia let out a deep breath. "Well, hurry up. We have to go upstairs and put you to bed."

Shane dropped his fork onto his plate, clinking loudly against the porcelain. "I don't have to do what you say!"

"We'll see about that." Mia knew she was going to war… against a four-year-old boy, but she didn't care. She wasn't about to let him rule the house.

"I think it's time to go," Caleb announced, but didn't say a word to his son. "I've already paid the bill."

She stood and reached for Hailey. "You want me to take her?"

"No, I have her." Caleb's eyes were cold. Then he glanced over at his son. "Let's go."

"But I'm not ready—" Shane protested.

"Oh yes, you are," Caleb cut him off, and then walked upstairs, expecting them to follow.

Mia looked at Shane, and he glared back. "Shane, I know I'm not your mother, but—"

He stood, and his fists were balled up at his sides as tears spilled onto his cheeks. "Don't you dare talk about my mother! You know nothing about her!" Then he stormed up the stairs after his father.

Mia looked around apologetically, and all eyes were on her. She slowly let out her breath to keep from crying, pushed in her chair, and walked up the stairs with what little dignity she had left.

Upstairs, Caleb and the children were already in their room.

Mia could feel every muscle in her body, and her arms were about to fall off from the weight of having carried Hailey all day and not being used to it. As she opened the door to her hotel room, she tried to remind herself of the reasons she had agreed to this arrangement in the first place.

Mia had just collapsed onto the bed when there was a knock on her door. She let out a deep breath and sat up. "Coming." When she opened it, Caleb was standing on the other side. "Mia, I'd like to speak with you… alone."

She stepped back and he walked in and closed the door. Anger welled up within Mia's chest as she waited for what was to come.

"First of all, please do not threaten my children," he ticked off the first of what she was sure was going to be a long list.

"Threaten?" Mia asked, unable to believe what she was hearing.

"Second, they are my children. Not yours."

"Now, wait a minute—"

Caleb held up a finger. When he spoke, he lowered his voice. "If my son needs discipline, then you will let me know and I will take care of it."

Mia folded her arms across her chest. "Is that all?"

He shrugged. "For now."

"Okay, now you will listen to me," Mia announced in disbelief, never raising her voice. "First of all, if I go to you for every little thing, Shane will have no respect for me. Secondly, we are legally married now, so that makes them my children, too."

Caleb started to object, but she held up her finger, just as he had done to her.

"Third, do not ever speak to me this way again. And fourth, if our son speaks to me again like he did downstairs, I will take away his privileges, which is what I told him. In case you don't know, that means that I will take away his toys, not allow him to play, and he will be allowed to go outside only to do his chores. I would never lay a hand on the child, but I will not tolerate him speaking to me like he did in the restaurant, either." She took a deep, calming breath and lowered her voice. "Caleb, I realize that you and the children are hurting, and I'm not trying to take Jessica's place, but I can't live in her shadow, either. I am Mia, not Jessica. And no matter how hard I try, I never will be." She opened the door and waited. "Now, I would appreciate it if we can continue this conversation tomorrow. I'm tired from traveling."

After he walked out, she slammed the door closed behind him. She knew there were other guests in the hotel, but at that moment, she really didn't care. As she sat on the edge of the bed, alone where no one could see, tears flowed down her cheeks. After a few moments, she rose from the bed, took off her dress, and hung it up. She rummaged through her trunk and found a sleeping gown, dressed, and fell onto the bed, exhausted both physically and mentally. But try as she might, she was unable to sleep. Finally, she resolved herself to the fact that she was going to see this through, even if it killed her.