Chapter 15

Mia

Bright white snow covered the ground as they drove the team to the church.

"I know! Let's sing a song," Mia said as they rode along.

"Yeah!" Shane stood in the back of the buckboard, holding onto the seat. Hailey sat between Mia and Caleb in the front. "What do you want to sing?"

"How about Oh My Darling, Clementine?" Mia asked.

"Yeah!" Shane and Hailey shouted in unison.

They sang at the top of their lungs all the way to church. Even Caleb joined in the fun. They sang a few verses, and before long, they pulled up to the beautiful stone church sitting in the snow. Mia noticed a river that flowed behind it. It was as if the stone church had just sprouted up out of the earth and then was covered in snow.

"I never noticed the river before." Mia extended her hand and Caleb helped her out of the buckboard.

Caleb smiled. "That's Whiskey River… the actual river that the town was named after."

"Really?" Mia asked, intrigued. "I thought that the town was just named Whiskey River. Not that it was named after an actual river."

Caleb scooped Hailey up into his arms and placed his hand on the small of Mia's back as they headed toward the church, and Shane followed.

"Yes." Caleb looked at the church with pride. "This church was the first permanent structure made in Whiskey River."

Mia was about to ask how the river got the name, but then they were greeted by a few parishioners who were waiting for them.

"My, my!" Gabriella said, standing by Dirk as she took the family in. "Don't you look nice today! Specially made outfits! Where did you get them?"

"Mia made them," Caleb announced proudly. "Come to find out, she stayed up late every night this week making them. She surprised us with them this morning."

"Wow!" Gabriella beamed. "You made these, Mia?"

Mia nodded happily.

Gabriella linked arms with her as they walked into the church. "You know, my friend Kenzie owns the new dress shop in town and is looking for a seamstress. I'm sure she'd love your designs, if you're interested."

Mia smiled. "I appreciate it, but I think I have my hands full right now. I'd love to meet her, though. Perhaps you both could come over for afternoon tea sometime?"

Gabriella nodded, a smile lighting her lips. "I'd like that."

Mia walked with the children to the front pew and took her place. People began filing into the church, and women walked up to her and greeted her, talking about their latest recipes or styles, but they all commented on the family's new outfits.

"Well, well!" Mrs. Jenkins gave Mia an air kiss over her cheek. "You all look marvelous! I love your outfits! Did you make them?"

Mia nodded, smiling.

"How's everything going?"

Mia nodded. "Better."

She gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "I'm glad to hear it," she said, and leaned in conspiratorially. "Remember what I said: you just need to be patient."

Mia nodded, giving her a small smile. "Believe me, I'm trying."

The elder woman grinned. "I'm glad. Well, if you need me for anything, just let me know."

Mia patted her hand. "I'm fine now, but I'd love it if you'd come over just to visit sometime soon."

"I'd like that," she replied, and then they both noticed Caleb approaching the pulpit. "Well, it looks as if I need to take my seat. I'll talk to you after the service."

"Sit with us," Mia coaxed, scooting over.

Mrs. Jenkins shook her head. "Oh, I couldn't."

A broad grin spread across Mia's face. "I insist."

"Well, if you insist." She shrugged and she and Mia laughed at the same time.

Mia loved having Mrs. Jenkins sit beside her and the children during the service. She hadn't been a part of a family in a long time. But the people of Whiskey River had created a family of their own.

Caleb gave a wonderful sermon and Gabriella sang beautifully as she led the church in song. Mia was impressed. She could be a professional singer somewhere in Europe if she had wanted to, but here she was, happy as a lark in Whiskey River. It said a lot for the town.

Mia loved watching Caleb capture the attention of the congregation. But most of all, she loved seeing his love of God so prominent in his sermon. Watching Caleb and hearing his sermon actually inspired her to be better… to be a better person. Something stirred inside of her as she watched him, seeing him in a new light.

After the service, she took the children to the Recreation Hall and set to work organizing everything right away. It was much easier this time since she knew what was expected of her.

The band started playing as women brought in their specialties, each greeting Mia as they set their dishes where she directed them. This time, she felt like she belonged. She no longer felt like an outsider, struggling to fit in, although she didn't realize that she had felt that way before until now. Mia was sure that the more she did this, the easier it would become.

"Excuse me," Caleb said behind her as he took her hand. "But could I borrow my wife for a bit?"

Her heart fluttered at his words as the ladies around her giggled. It was the first time that he had referred to her as his wife, and it hadn't escaped her notice.

He led her out to the dancefloor and spun her around. This time, they effortlessly launched into a waltz, capturing everyone's attention.

"I knew you could dance, but I didn't realize you could dance this well," Mia said as he guided her around the floor.

"I learned in college," Caleb said as he glided her around the floor, looking into her eyes. "But my skills pale compared to yours."

Mia blushed but held her head high as all eyes were on them. When the song ended, he leaned her back in an elegant dip as everyone clapped. Then, Hailey and Shane ran up and they all danced together.

They took a break to eat, everyone sitting on the floor against the wall or in the chairs that were available. Mia ate until she couldn't eat any more, and each dish was more spectacular than the last.

After they had finished, Caleb asked her if she would like to go with him to play with the children outside. She quickly agreed.

Watching him playing "Hide and Seek" and "Tag" with the children stirred her heart. She was amazed to see how good he was with the children. Then, toward the end of the day, Hailey curled up on her lap and went to sleep.

"Here. I'll take her," Caleb said, holding his arms out for his daughter.

Mia shook her head. "No, I have her. You stay here and have fun with Shane." She carried her inside, sat on a chair, and held her while she slept.

A few minutes later, Caleb walked in with Shane, causing Mia's heart to flutter. He smiled as he crossed the room to her and kissed his little girl's forehead. "We'll be going soon. I'll help the men break everything down and put it away and then we'll go." He looked into Mia's eyes. "Is that okay, or would you like to leave now? I can take you and the children home and then come back."

Mia shook her head as she smiled. "No, you go ahead. We'll be fine."

She glanced over at Shane, and he was yawning and rubbing his eyes. He would probably fall asleep on the way home.

Home. It was a small word that held so much meaning.

It was almost dark when they got home, and both children were asleep. Mia carried Hailey and Caleb carried Shane inside and they put them straight to bed. Then, they walked into the living room, leaving their door ajar, just in case.

Mia covered her mouth with the back of her hand as she let out a big yawn. "Well, I think I'm going to call it a night." She took Caleb's hands into her own. "Thank you for today. It really was wonderful." She had turned to walk away, but he held her hand, stopping her.

"Would you like to sit with me for a while by the fire?" Caleb's eyebrows lifted, hope filling his eyes, causing her heart to pound.

Mia smiled. "Yes, of course."

"I'll get us some coffee if you'd like to make yourself comfortable." He disappeared into the kitchen before she could say anything.

"Would you like some help?" she yelled after him.

"No, I've got it!"

She threw some pillows on the floor by the couch on the oval area rug, and sat down on one of them, curling her legs under her skirt, and watched the fire as she waited. The flames lapped hungrily at the log, in tongues of orange, red, and yellow. It was mesmerizing. She was about to drift off to sleep when Caleb entered the room, carrying two coffee cups.

"Here you go, love." Caleb handed one to her and sat on a pillow beside her on the floor. Up close like this, she noticed how his muscles played under his shirt, evidence of the hard labor he hadn't shied away from over the years. She imagined that his stomach was just as muscled, but she quickly pushed the thought aside.

"Thank you." Mia looked into her coffee cup, holding it with both hands. "Caleb?"

"Umm?" he asked, looking up from his coffee, propping his elbow on the couch. His eyebrows lifted, so handsome with the sharp contrast between his dark brown hair and blue eyes.

Mia smiled. "I was so proud of you today. Watching you preach. Watching you with the children. Watching how you chipped in with the men of the congregation so easily, not afraid to roll up your sleeves." She looked into his eyes. "You might not want to hear this, but I'm proud to call you my husband."

A smile lit his lips, but his eyes never wavered from hers. "I like hearing that." He looked away, and Mia's heart sank, thinking that he was going to let her down easily, but then his eyes met hers. "Mia, I'm proud of you, too. In the short time you've been here, you've become a part of the church community, and a part of this family. You were wonderful today. The community has accepted you, and so have my children. Thank you."

Then, he placed his hand gently on the side of her cheek and laced his fingers through her blonde hair, gazing into her eyes, searching for acceptance. Then, he slowly leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, sending shivers throughout her body and filling her heart. His lips moved with hers, and even though it was technically their first real kiss, it was as if her body knew his, as if it recognized him as hers.

Caleb pulled away a moment later, and then wrapped his arm around her and pulled her to his side. She watched the fire as she laid her head on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth of his body so close to hers. She was about to fall asleep when Caleb adjusted his arm, waking her.

He placed his hand on the side of her face. "Goodnight," he said as he pressed his lips to hers once more.

Heat rushed through her body, and she was tempted to take the lead and deepen the kiss but thought better of it. Mia knew that this was hard for him, and she appreciated the effort. "Goodnight, Caleb."

She rose from the pillows and headed toward her bedroom… alone.

After she closed the door, she leaned her head against it, wondering if he would ever come to love her.

Mia woke early the next morning, wondering if Caleb would ever love her the way he had loved Jessica, and if they could ever become a real family.

Even though what they had was tolerable, she wanted more. She wanted and needed someone to love her as his wife, and to want to create a family with her.

She decided to catch Caleb before he left. She needed to get away for a bit. For a moment, she thought of going back to New York to give him time to make up his mind, but the thought of leaving the children tore at her heart. But staying there was tearing her apart.

So, she decided to visit Ella and the children. Maybe it would help to take her mind off her own problems, and she could help Ella and Colton in any way that was needed.

She looked outside. It was still dark. Just a few streaks of red and purple threatened to break the sky to let the sun light through. Maybe Caleb was still here. She hurried to dress and threw her coat over her arm as she rushed out, hoping she wasn't too late.

Caleb was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping his coffee. "Good morning," he said, smiling. But his smile slowly faded when he saw her face.

She pretended not to notice. "I hope you didn't have plans," she said as she slipped into her coat. "But I need to see Ella today."

Caleb nodded as he rose from his chair. "How long will you be gone?"

"I'll be home later, but you'll need to fix dinner." She placed her hand on the door handle. "And I'm taking one of the horses, if you don't mind."

"I'll saddle one for you," he said as he downed the last of his coffee. "Are you all right?"

She shrugged. "I hardly know."

He took a step toward her. "Is there anything I can do? Anything I can say?"

She shook her head as she took a step back. "No, I just need a day."

He nodded, taking a step closer. "For what?"

She bit her lower lip as her eyes welled up with tears. "Not to sound selfish, but I just need a day. I can't explain it right now."

"Okay." Caleb reached down beside her for his boots, slipped them on along with his coat, and then headed out the back door, letting it slam closed behind him. A few minutes later, the sound of horses' hooves shuffling in the snow resonated outside, growing louder.

Mia walked outside and stepped down off the porch. "I'll be back, all right?"

He nodded as he handed her the reins.

Mia said nothing more as she swung up into the saddle. "Look after the children for me, please."

He nodded as a line formed between his eyes.

"Yah!" she yelled, leaning in the saddle as the horse launched into a canter. She looked behind her one last time. Caleb was standing out in front of the house, watching her go.

On the way to Ella's house, she had some time to think. Could he ever love her the way he should? The way she needed to be loved? The way she already loved him?

Tears ran down her cheeks. After the night before, after he had kissed her, it had triggered her heart and all the love that had lain dormant inside. But she couldn't live in a one-sided marriage. She needed more… and so did he. She couldn't give her whole heart while he withheld his.

A few minutes later, she rode up on to Ella and Colton's farm and came to a stop in front of their house. She slid off and took the reins, ready to lead the mare to the back, but Colton walked out onto the front porch.

"Welcome, Mia!" A broad smile spread across his face as he skipped down the stairs. "It's good to see you!" He pulled her in for a one-armed hug and took the reins from her with the other hand. When he pulled back and saw tears in her eyes, his face fell. "What's wrong?"

Mia shook her head, quickly drying her tears. "I'm okay."

Colton grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "Are you sure?"

She nodded and quickly put a smile on her face. "Please, don't tell Ella. I came over to help. Not to burden her."

"Mia, we're here for you if you change your mind."

"Thank you." She nodded, dabbing at the tears in her eyes.

"Now, go on inside," Colton instructed as he took the reins. "Visit with Ella and I'll take care of your horse."

"Are you sure?"

A broad smile spread across his face. "Absolutely! I can't wait for you to see my children! They've already grown so much!"

Mia laughed. "Are they ready for college yet?"

Colton chuckled. "No, not yet, but it won't be long."

"Bite your tongue," Mia teased, skipping up the stairs. "They already grow fast enough."

"This is true," Colton agreed as he slid up into the saddle. "I'll be inside in a bit."

Mia nodded. "I'll tell Ella."

Colton chuckled, shaking his head as he disappeared around the corner, headed toward the barn.

"Ella?" Mia asked as she walked into the house and closed the door gently behind her. She took her coat off and hung it on a peg by the door, and then headed toward the master bedroom.

"In here!" Ella said just as Mia walked in. Her face lit up as soon as she saw her. "Well, hello! How are you doing today?" Ella was sitting on the bed, breastfeeding one of the babies, covered over with a lightweight blanket.

"Great!" Mia replied, smiling when she saw her. And it was true. She was much better now just seeing Ella. She looked into the cradle, and the baby girl was awake, holding her hands up to her, waving them back and forth. "I just came by to see if you needed any help… and to aggravate you, of course."

"Good!" Ella laughed as she handed her the baby boy. "Here's Blake. Can you hand me Hannah? I need to feed her, too."

"It'll be my pleasure." Mia took the baby boy and laid him in the cradle next to his sister. The babies reached for each other and touched hands, stirring Mia's heart. It was the sweetest thing she'd ever seen. She placed Hannah in Ella's arms a moment later.

Ella switched sides and began breastfeeding again, and then covered them over with the light blanket. "Would you mind burping Blake?" She shrugged. "I kind of have my hands full."

Mia smiled. "I'd love to." She lifted him from his crib, dressed in a little gown. Mia wrapped him in the blanket and carried him to the rocking chair sitting in the corner and gently patted his back. A moment later, she was rewarded. "Feel better?"

The baby cooed in answer.

"You know," Ella said as she rocked the baby, "you look great with a baby."

Mia laughed without humor. "I don't know about that."

"What's wrong?" A crease formed between Ella's eyes. "Don't you want to have children?"

Mia let out a deep breath, enjoying rocking the baby. "I do."

"Well, then. What's wrong?" Ella placed the baby on her shoulder and started burping her.

Mia shrugged. "Well, I already have two."

Ella nodded as the baby let out a big burp. "That's a good girl!"

Mia rocked Blake and watched as he shoved his fist into his mouth.

"Mia, talk to me," Ella said, rocking Hannah back and forth. "What's wrong?"

Mia looked down at the baby. "Caleb kissed me for the first time since we were married last night."

"For the first time?" Ella demanded, her eyes wide. "But you're married!"

Mia nodded. "Yes, we are."

"What's going on?"

Mia bit her lower lip in an effort to fight back the tears. "Ella, he's still in love with Jessica."

"Mia, he can love you, too," she cooed. "Just give him time."

Mia nodded. "I know."

"It might take a long time."

"I know," Mia repeated. "But what if he never comes to love me?"

"Of course he loves you."

Mia shook her head. "Ella, I can't live in limbo like this."

"Mia, he may not love you like Jessica," Ella pleaded, "but you can love people differently—"

"I know that, but someone needs to tell that to Caleb." Mia let out a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I should have never brought it up."

Ella shook her head. "Mia, don't say that. You can talk to me about anything. You know that."

Mia nodded. "I'm not meaning to complain. I love the children. At first, it was hard with Shane. Losing his mother was really hard on him." She paused at the memory. "But now, we get along just fine."

Ella nodded, a crease between her eyes. "Besides going to church, what do you do together as a family?"

Mia shrugged. "We started making breakfast together every morning. No matter what is happening that day, Caleb and I get up early and make breakfast for the family."

"Well, that's something!" Ella encouraged. "Just give it time."

Mia nodded, and then noticed that the baby was sleeping. "Ella, I need a man who can love me for me… and I'm not sure that's Caleb."

"You're not thinking of going back to New York, are you?" Ella asked as she rocked Hannah.

Mia shook her head. "I couldn't leave the children… no matter what happens with Caleb."

Ella sighed. "Mia, do you love him?"

Mia nodded. "Yes, of course I love him. He's kind, funny, wonderful with the children, handsome—"

"Okay then," Ella replied. "Don't you think that he might think the same things about you?"

Mia shook her head. "No, he's never told me." Her eyes met Ella's. "He doesn't love me. Ella, I can't be in a one-sided relationship. I can't give him all my love and then he not love me in return. It's too heart wrenching."

"Mia," Ella said, her voice sympathetic. "He's probably showing you that he loves you every day."

Mia shrugged. "Well, how about I make some lunch? What would you like?"

"Mia, I know what you're trying to do," she said as the baby fell asleep in her arms. "Okay. I'll let it go. But I'm here if you need to talk."

"Thanks, Ella." Mia nodded. "But please, don't tell anyone."

One corner of Ella's lips curled into a smile. "I never do."

Mia laid Blake in the cradle. "I'll tell you what. I'll put the babies down for a nap and you get some rest." Mia kissed the top of her head when she took the baby from her arms. "I'll make us some lunch."

Ella kissed the baby before Mia laid her down. "Well, if you insist."

Mia smiled. "I do, Mama. Now, get some rest."

"Okay, but wake me when it's ready," Ella said as she turned over.

Mia smiled. "I will."

"Mia?"

"Yes?"

Ella chuckled. "I thought you might not want to have children after witnessing me give birth."

Mia laughed, shaking her head. "No, I haven't ruled it out. I still want to have more children… even though I already have two."

A smile lit Ella's lips. "Night."

"I'll see you in a bit," Mia said as she quietly closed the door behind her.

As she walked out to the kitchen, she resolved herself to being the mother of Caleb's children… no matter what happened between them.