Chapter 25

I spun around to see Noah had walked in through the library's double doors carrying a huge cardboard box and was now stood right behind me. Bloody hell. I coughed to cover my embarrassment and didn't dare meet anyone's eyes.

‘What do you have there?' I asked, hoping my voice sounded normal, but I think it came out far higher pitched than usual.

Noah's eyes twinkled and he was smiling so I didn't have much hope that he hadn't heard what I said. He knew we'd been talking about him. Awesome.

‘The printers called just after you left the office,' Noah said as he placed the box on the table. He was wearing his dark coat, the collar turned up to block the wind, his face flush from the weather. The library suddenly felt a few degrees warmer. It was strange to see him in here. This had been my sanctuary for so long and the place where I felt I had finally healed from him leaving me. But there he was, waiting for me to reply.

‘Oh,' I said, shaking off my thoughts. ‘What did they say?'

‘The t-shirts were ready so I picked them up.' He tapped the box.

I leapt out of my seat. ‘Oh my God!' I rushed over to it. ‘Thank you.'

He twisted the box towards me. ‘You do the honours.'

Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch as I ripped open the packaging and leaned over. I saw a flash of black. Picking up a t-shirt, I squealed.

‘It's perfect!'

I held it up to show them. On the front was a picture of a stack of books with the words:

What happens if you mess with a romance reader?

I turned it around to show the back which had the cover of Bitten on it with the words:

They will give you a love bite.

Liv burst out laughing. ‘It's bloody genius. Pun intended.'

‘I love the biting wit,' Georgina added, which made us all laugh.

I tossed one to each of them. ‘Wear with pride, ladies.'

‘Hey,' Noah said as I pulled one out for myself. ‘What about me?'

My mouth twitched. ‘Okay.' I threw it at him and raised an eyebrow. ‘If you actually wear it.'

He slipped off his coat and pulled it on over his shirt. ‘I'm never taking it off.'

I grabbed my phone and I snapped a photo of him in it.

‘For the publicity,' I said. ‘Turn around so I can get the back.'

Noah did a deliberately slow turn and afterwards, dropped me a wink.

‘Okay, let's start the social media campaign,' I said.

Are you a romance reader who's been made fun of for loving love stories? Have you heard someone say romance books aren't worthwhile? Have you seen a selection of ‘must-read' books that didn't include any romance novels? Are you a proud romance lover? You need one of these t-shirts in your life! Come to our offices at 9a.m. on Monday and BITE BACK.

I shared the caption and picture of Noah to all the company's social media accounts and tagged Deborah Day.

The likes and shares started to roll in.

As I responded to people on social media, everyone at the table began chatting but one voice made me pause in my typing.

‘It's lovely to see you again, Mrs Phillips.'

Looking up from my phone, I saw Noah go over to my mum at the end of the table. I tried not to listen but it was impossible.

‘Hello, Noah. How are you finding it being back in London?'

‘There have been a lot of changes but I'm slowly catching up with it,' Noah replied politely. ‘The important things have stayed the same,' he added with warmth.

I glanced over and Noah caught my eye and smiled.

Surreal. This was so surreal.

‘You okay?' Liv appeared beside me and whispered as she leaned into the box and took out a shirt.

‘Sure.'

She looked sceptical. ‘No more kisses in alleyways?'

‘Shh,' I hissed, definitely blushing then. ‘And no, that's not happening again.'

‘Hmmm.' She looked unconvinced. ‘I'm making Aiden wear this,' she said, putting a shirt in her bag. She leaned in to whisper again. ‘Remember how when he first came to work here, I said I wasn't interested in him? But you can't lie to yourself.'

‘We're not like you and Aiden,' I hissed back. But by the look she gave me, I wasn't convincing myself or her. I glanced back at Noah, who was still talking to my mother and she was smiling at what he was saying. Then I turned back to Liv. ‘The difference is, you never were a couple before you got together. We have been and it didn't work out. Once Bitten, twice shy,' I said, pointing to my t-shirt.

‘Stop with the puns,' Liv groaned. Then she rubbed my arm. ‘I get it. Lord knows I get it. Relationships are bloody scary. But five years is a long time. Things change. People change. Timing is everything.'

Emily's voice cut into our conversation. ‘What do you think?'

We stopped talking to look at her placard.

Proud to be a romance reader

‘Amen,' I declared, holding out my palm. She gave me a high five across the table. I looked around. ‘This could actually work,' I said in wonder.

‘Of course it will,' Noah said, coming back over. ‘I've asked the New York team to share your posts.'

‘And I've asked Dan to pop along and he said he'd film some bits,' Liv said, waving her phone. Her brother was big on TikTok so that was really useful.

‘I love Dan,' I said, beaming. ‘Thank so much, guys; we could have given up on this book but I'm so glad we didn't.' My phone beeped and I looked to see Deborah Day had shared the picture of the t-shirt and told her followers where she would be on Monday, which caused a flurry of excitement on her social media. ‘This is gaining traction. Okay, guys, thanks so much for your help but it's Friday night – go have fun and I'll see you on Monday!'

Liv went to find Aiden, who was working late in his office waiting for her, while Gita and Emily persuaded Georgina to join them for a drink. But I needed an early night.

My mum got up. ‘I'm going to catch my train home.' She leaned in and kissed my cheek. ‘I wish I could be there but it's going to be great. So proud of you, darling.' She looked at Noah. ‘Make sure she gets home safe. I always worry sick thinking of her alone in London.'

‘Of course,' Noah promised before I could protest. ‘Why don't we walk you to the train station first?'

It was all settled without me. Noah grabbed the t-shirt box so I trailed behind him and my mum as they chatted about a Netflix documentary they both had enjoyed, pulling on my coat and getting a strong sense of déjà-vu seeing them together.

As we left the university library and walked to the nearest Tube station, the autumn chill wrapped around us like a cold but cosy blanket. I had walked this way so many times before but never with my mum and Noah. It felt so strange but lovely too. The sky was clear and dotted with a thousand sparkling stars watched over by the silvery moon. There was something about the moon and stars. They were fearless like we should be. We were so small, so insignificant, in comparison, but our problems always seemed as huge as the universe. The moon and stars didn't worry. They were happy to just be.

‘What are you thinking about?' Mum asked as she stopped outside the station to hug me. Noah hung back to let us say goodbye.

‘The moon and stars,' I replied honestly as I held her tightly. You were never too old to not need a hug from your mother. Especially when everything felt in turmoil.

‘A dreamer, just like your father.' She pulled back and smiled. ‘I remember when I gave you your first romance book. I loved that it was something we loved together. One day, you'll find that happy ever after you've been looking for like I did. And maybe that's a person, maybe it's a job or a place or a home – or all of the above – but you will find it.'

‘Thanks, Mum,' I said, grateful for so much more than she even knew.

She looked at Noah. ‘It's nice to have you back, Noah. Just remember that we as parents may claim to want many things for our children but really we just want you to be your own person.'

With a wave, she disappeared into the station.

‘She was always wise.'

I started at how close Noah suddenly was to me. ‘Yeah, she is.'

Without looking at him, I set off walking again, this time towards my flat.

‘Does your dad know what we are doing on Monday?' I asked.

‘I haven't spoken to him since he went back to New York.' He put his hands into his coat pockets. ‘We need some space. I need to think. Things haven't been the same between us over the past year. Since my mum… I guess I find it hard to talk to him, to tell him what I want to say.'

‘I bet it's not easy,' I said. ‘But I'm sure your dad would listen when you know what you want to say. I'm sure he wants you to be happy.'

‘Even if he isn't?' Noah asked, looking across at me. ‘You have a special way of looking at the world; you always have.'

‘And what's that?' I asked, curious as to what he thought about me. Once, I thought I knew, but I'd been wrong.

‘Like everything will work out okay.'

‘Well, it's not like life can't be pretty crap, but there is always hope, right?'

‘I'd like to think so.' Noah looked ahead. ‘You live here?'

‘Yes,' I said as we stopped outside the converted Islington townhouse. ‘In the top flat. It's basically a shoe box but I love it.'

‘You always said you loved these houses,' Noah said, looking up at it with a smile. ‘We walked this way a couple of times and you said you'd love to live here one day. You did it.' He met my eyes in the pool of light from the lamppost above us. ‘So many changes since I left,' he murmured. ‘I missed out on so much.'

‘I missed your life too,' I reminded him. ‘I thought about it often.'

I remembered so many nights lying in bed at night looking up at the ceiling, wondering where he was or what he was doing.

Noah's eyes lit up. ‘You did? Even after what an utter dick I was to you? I didn't deserve that.'

‘No.' I smiled. ‘You didn't but I couldn't help it.'

‘Well, you know from my emails that I spent a ton of time thinking about you. Wishing I was still part of your life.' He looked up at my flat. ‘Now I know where to picture you when I think about you.'

‘You still think about me?' I asked, hating how happy that made me feel.

‘Of course I do. If I thought about you a lot when I couldn't see you or snoop on your social media, how bad do you think it is now?'

‘I'm sorry you couldn't snoop,' I said with a laugh. ‘Here.' I took out my phone and unblocked him on my social media and showed him.

‘This could be dangerous,' he said with a grin. Then he looked at me seriously. ‘It kind of killed me not being able to see you or talk to you. Why do you think I was so, well, rude, when you walked into my office? I wanted to pretend that I didn't care I was seeing you again, like I thought you wouldn't care about seeing me. And I took it so far, you called me a dick.'

I laughed. ‘Yeah, you really committed to that role. So, that guy at work isn't really you?'

‘I don't want it to be,' Noah said. ‘You called me out on it immediately and I could see how much I'd changed when I saw myself through your eyes.'

‘You've been through a lot. If I'd known about your mum, I wouldn't have called you a dick,' I said.

It was cold out though I wasn't sure inviting Noah into my flat was a good idea. But my lips still remembered the kiss outside the bookshop and they wanted more. My body wanted more. It had been a long time since I'd had a man in my flat and my body missed being touched. But it was too complicated with Noah to give in to that.

‘She would have cheered you on,' Noah said, then on seeing me shiver, he said, ‘You should go in. We have a busy week ahead.'

I nodded and turned to go but on impulse, I looked back. ‘What are you doing this weekend?'

‘I could lie and say I have exciting plans but I'll probably end up working,' Noah said ruefully.

This was a bad idea but I didn't not want to see him for two days. And he was on his own so it would be nice to offer him company. Just company. Nothing untoward about that.

‘I heard you say to my mum that the city had changed so how about I show you the new places I've discovered that I love?'

‘A tour from a local?' Noah smiled. ‘How can I say no?'

‘Meet me here Sunday morning. Say 10a.m.?'

‘I'll bring coffee.'

Noah waited as I walked into my building and when I stole a glance back at him, he was still under the lamppost, lifting his hand in a wave to me. I closed the door and went up to my flat, telling myself we were just two old friends hanging out outside of work, but I was unable to stop myself from smiling.