Chapter 15

‘So, where are we going?' I asked Noah in the lift on the way down.

‘A bookshop that I think would work really well for the idea I had, but I need your opinion.' He looked across at me. The lift was a small space and he was only a foot away.

I smiled and saw his eyes flick to my lips. ‘I doubt there's a bookshop in the world I wouldn't like.'

Noah chuckled. ‘Me neither. You would have loved the bookshops in New York. I remember going to one and thinking, Stevie would think she's died and gone to heaven if she was here,' he said, his expression turning wistful.

My pulse sped up as he looked down at me. Had he stepped closer as well?

I breathed in the fresh shower smell he always had. My heart hurt to think about Noah going to bookshops over there and thinking about me.

Noah stepped closer again. I sucked in a breath and quickly turned to face the lift doors. He was too close. This space was too small. Lines were blurring again and I didn't want that.

Thankfully, the doors opened then and I darted out.

I tried to wave off his words. ‘Probably for the best. I would have never fit all the books I wanted into a suitcase. So, are we getting the Tube?'

I couldn't look at him so I had no idea what he was thinking but he seemed to accept my change of subject.

‘It's not far if you're happy to walk?'

‘Sure,' I said, preferring wide-open space and fresh air right now.

We set off around the city together. Now that Noah had mentioned it, I couldn't help but imagine what it might have been like if I had gone to New York with him. And not just for a holiday. I imagined strolls like this around the city, coffees in hand, yellow taxis passing us, Sundays spent having lazy brunches and browsing in bookshops and… I shook off the fantasy. Even if he had thought about me, Noah hadn't wanted me to come with him. And that was that.

‘It's just around the corner,' Noah said, breaking into my thoughts.

I looked around as we stepped off the main road. I recognised this quiet area, the cobbled alleyway lined with old-fashioned-looking shops with painted signs and gold lettering. Hanging baskets made the alley pop with colour. It was quieter here as if this was a secret part of London that not many people knew about. I realised I'd been here once before.

No, no, no!

‘Noah…' I said, alarmed as he walked towards a shop right in the middle of the alleyway. I stopped as I looked up at the all-too familiar bookshop. ‘But this is…' I whispered as I saw the sign.

Book Nook.

‘Isn't it the best?' Noah said, looking at the bookshop and not seeing the horror on my face. ‘I loved it when I used to live here. In fact, I'm not sure if you remember but—' He turned to me then.

‘Let's go in,' I said, cutting him off. I did not want him asking me if I remembered this bookshop. Of course I bloody remembered it!

‘Okay.' Noah opened the door and let me walk in first, following close behind. With a deep breath, I stepped over the threshold and looked around.

It was exactly the same as it had been on that rainy night six years ago. The bookshop was still filled to the brim with titles, shelves placed in a haphazard fashion, and the smell of books mixed with the sweet pumpkin candle that burned on the till desk. But instead of the older man that had been there that night and given Noah a discount for our books, there was a woman with long black hair.

Noah greeted her warmly with a wave but he stayed by my side, watching me as I took the shop in. I spun around, the memory of us meeting in here flooding back as if I'd opened the page of one of the books to find chapter one of our story written in it.

‘It's still my favourite bookshop,' Noah said softly. ‘Stevie, you must visit it a lot?'

I stepped over to a shelf and ran a finger across the spines, a habit I'd picked up in the library when I needed comfort. Books never let you down, after all.

‘I never came back here,' I told him. It had been too hard. I'd walked past a few times but hadn't been able to go inside and then I'd avoided this area completely. This was where we had met. Why would I want to relive that?

Noah seemed oblivious to the fact this was a painful memory. He walked over to the woman behind the till.

‘This is Georgina. The previous owner's daughter,' Noah said, introducing us. ‘This is Stevie. We, uh, work together.'

‘Lovely to meet you, Stevie,' she said, smiling at me. ‘Do you guys want to come back and see the event room?'

‘Definitely. Stevie?'

All I could do was nod, still stunned I was back in this bookshop. And Noah was with me.

Georgina led Noah through a small opening in the bookshelves and I followed, ducking a little bit to get under the archway. We were then in the back room. There were more bookshelves but these were against the wall and in the middle were chairs lined up and some cosy bean bags and a platform at one end that could work as a kind of stage.

‘I was thinking we could hold a launch party for the book here?'

It was a cosy and intimate space, and it had a feel of being out of a different time, which would work brilliantly for a vampire romance.

‘It's perfect,' I said. ‘We could have an exclusive invitation list. We could send invites out on real stationery, use lots of candles and maybe heavy drapes over there too, make it feel like the library of the vampire's home. And wine in goblets, and oh my God, we could do it on Halloween night, the week the book comes out. It's perfect and…' I stopped, noticing Georgina and Noah both staring at me. I bit my lip. ‘Sorry, did I get carried away?'

Noah's dimpled appeared. ‘I love watching you get carried away.'

My heart stuttered inside my chest.

‘I love all those ideas. Can we have it here, Georgina? I don't think Stevie will survive if you say no.'

‘Well, of course,' she said.

They beamed at one another.

I tried to not to feel a pinch of jealousy. ‘Can I take some photos? Show the author and help to plan the night?'

‘Go ahead. Noah, let's book it in…' Georgina led Noah back into the bookshop and I took some photos, knowing this place would work brilliantly for the book and people would be so excited about it after attending a party here.

‘My dad was so excited when I told him you were here,' Georgina was saying to Noah when I re-joined them. They stood close together by the desk. I watched them, irrationally hoping that there wasn't anything going on between them. ‘You were always his favourite customer,' she continued. ‘And when you stepped in and bought the place…'

I did a double take and even though I shouldn't have been eavesdropping, I blurted out my thoughts anyway.

‘Wait, what?'

Noah slowly turned around as Georgina gave him an apologetic look, as if she had just let something slip she shouldn't have.

‘I bought the bookshop,' Noah said after clearing his throat. ‘I'm, uh, the owner.'

‘How?' I wasn't sure I was breathing properly.

‘Just before I went to New York, Georgina's father told me the shop was struggling and we exchanged email addresses. We shared ideas and talked about books we liked. And then he told me a couple of years later he needed to sell so he could retire and so I offered to buy it. And keep Georgina on as manager.'

I didn't know what to say.

‘We've worked hard to bring sales up,' Georgina said. ‘Noah's been a lifesaver and now we're in the same city, we won't have to Zoom all the time.' She laughed and again, I felt a weird pinch in my stomach. ‘I can't wait for this event. It sounds fun. Do you want my email, Stevie, and we can plan it together? I'm sure Noah is busy enough with his new job.'

‘Uh, sure,' I said, still shocked by the news that Noah owned this place.

We swapped details and I said I'd be in touch after clearing the party with Deborah.

‘So, I really need a coffee and it's lunch time so shall we stop off somewhere before we go back to the office?' Noah was saying as we stepped outside. I couldn't answer. I felt like I was still in a trance. My mind was racing. We walked towards the end of the alley. ‘Stevie, yes to lunch?'

‘Wait.' I stopped by the wall and leaned against it. ‘I need a minute.'

Noah stopped too and stood in front of me. ‘What's wrong? Are you okay?'

‘No,' I admitted. I looked at him. ‘This is crazy.'

‘What do you mean?'

‘I feel like my head hasn't stopped spinning since I walked into your office and saw… you.' I took a breath. ‘You bought our bookshop?'

It was a question because I still wasn't sure it was real. I wasn't sure what was real any more. For a minute, I wondered if I had imagined our year together, but now I'd been back to the place where we met, I knew it had happened and it'd been real.

‘Yes.' Noah moved closer. ‘I had to buy it. It was going to disappear otherwise. And then it would have really been like…' He trailed off but I knew what he'd been about to say.

‘We never happened?'

There was a short silence as we both looked at one another. I longed to know what he was thinking and I could bet he felt the same.

‘When I saw your name on the list of staff at Turn the Pages the first day…' Noah broke our silence then, speaking urgently. ‘I couldn't believe it. That you were being thrown in my path after all these years, after all this time. I never forgot about you. Of course I didn't. Stevie, I was happy to see you again.'

I raised an eyebrow. ‘I'm not sure if I can say the same.'

He sighed. ‘No, I know. I don't blame you either.'

‘You dumped me like the year we spent together meant nothing and—' I started, my eyes blazing at him.

Noah moved forward and leaned an arm against the wall above my head, stopping me in my tracks. ‘It didn't mean nothing to me. It meant everything.'

I didn't dare blink as we looked at one another. I was even more confused but my heart was pounding at his words. At his closeness. He was close enough to…

‘Why did you buy the bookshop?' I asked him, my voice so faint it seemed to disappear on the breeze.

‘Because it led me to you.'

God. I didn't know what I was thinking. Well, I wasn't. I was feeling a lot. Too much. But Noah telling me he had bought our bookshop so it wouldn't disappear, because it had brought us together, snapped something in me. It was like he'd flicked on a switch and even though it was a terrible idea, I couldn't stop myself. I reached out and pulled his coat lapels, drawing him towards me. I caught a glimpse of his dimple before our lips met and I closed my eyes, letting my body sink into his.

Our lips met in a frenzy. I seemed to remember our kisses before being sweet and moreish like a cupcake, but this kiss was hungry and dangerous and decadent. It was like a deliciously rich dark chocolate cake covered in smooth buttercream that after one taste you could happily gauge on and finish the whole thing in one sitting.

Noah kept one arm above me on the wall and the other hand moved to my waist, gripping me tightly as I moved my hands around his neck, and then into his hair. When our tongues met, I murmured and Noah moved his hand from my hip to my leg, lifting it and wrapping it around him, melting us closer together. He devoured me with his mouth yet it wasn't enough.

‘Closer,' I said between kisses, desperately. I needed more. I needed everything.

Noah brought his other hand down and picked me up. I wrapped both legs around him and he pressed me up against the wall. My hands hooked around his neck again as our lips reconnected. Noah's tongue danced in my mouth. I groaned when I felt what this kiss was doing to him. I moved against him and I felt him tremble.

‘Stevie,' Noah grunted, pulling away from my mouth. He dropped kisses down my neck and onto my collarbone. And this time, I was the one who trembled. ‘I want you so badly,' he said, whispering in my ear before pulling my lobe into his mouth and sucking it.

I could feel how much he wanted me. Even with our trousers separating us. And I felt the same need right between my legs. My nipples were straining against my top too. My body remembered every kiss, every touch, and it craved it all again.

‘Noah, tell me…' I started to say, thinking about how he'd driven me crazy in bed telling me what to do.

But then a siren sounded out. It was sudden and loud and piercing and it was like someone had thrown a bottle of water over us.

I froze. I looked over Noah's shoulder and saw a police car zoom past on the main road. We were in an alleyway just a few feet away from the hubbub of London. In broad daylight. And my legs were around his waist. We had lost all sense of where we were.

Seeing the horror on my face, Noah pulled back. ‘Shit,' he said.

He put me down slowly. Gently.

My feet found the floor but I stumbled. Noah quickly wrapped an arm around my waist and held me upright. My breathing was ragged. My legs felt shaky. I looked up at him, unable to believe what had just happened.

‘Shit is right,' I said.

Noah let go of my waist and took a big step backwards. His chest was rising and falling rapidly and I could see he was still straining against his trousers. He pushed his tousled hair back as he watched me, cautiously.

I sucked in air, trying to slow my pulse. I leaned back against the wall, needing it to take my weight in case I slid down onto the floor. I reached up to touch my fingertip to my swollen lips. Every part of my body wanted to pull Noah back and continue that electric kiss. But my head had been switched on by that siren. We were in public. And this was not only my ex, but also my boss. The moment had gone and now panic washed over me.

‘Are you okay?' Noah asked finally, as if he couldn't take my silence any longer. He made to step closer again.

I put a hand up and he froze. All I could think about was how this man had hurt me once. And he would do it again.

‘I can't do this,' I said.

Noah flinched. ‘Stevie…'

I shook my head and pushed myself off the wall, walking away from Noah and out of the alley.

And he watched me go just like I had watched him on the day he left me.