Chapter 10

The orchestra started up after we'd had coffee and cake so the pressure was off to talk. The music was incredible and Aiden enthusiastically shouted out the films the music came from as soon as the first note of each sounded.

I tried to listen and watch the musicians and not be aware of Noah on the deckchair next to me, but it was difficult. And I was sure a couple of times he was looking over at me even as I made sure I faced the front.

In the break, Noah turned to us. ‘They are amazing, aren't they? I haven't watched a live orchestra for so long. There's nothing like it.'

‘I had goosebumps after the last one,' Liv said, touching her arm. ‘So, you didn't go out in New York much, Noah?'

I looked at her, wondering why she was asking him that.

Noah shook his head. ‘Too busy working, I guess. I'm afraid I became a bit of a workaholic. And it's likely to be the same thing here. We have a lot to do to get the company in shape. But Stevie and I are going to be working on a campaign that I think will help.'

‘Oh?' Liv turned to me, eyebrow raised so high it almost disappeared into her hair.

‘I didn't get a chance to tell you,' I said. ‘Noah has asked me to help with the campaign for Deborah Day's new book. And it's brilliant, Liv. We've been missing out on her books recently. It's a vampire romance.'

‘Oh, swoon.'

I gave Noah a look that said, See? after she used the same word as I did.

‘When can I read it?' Liv asked eagerly.

‘Stevie can give you an advance copy as long as you don't tell anyone,' Noah said. He smiled at me, the dimple back. ‘Although I'm still shocked she read it on a Kindle.'

I was taken aback at his good humour. ‘Oh, well, yes, it's a hardship but…' I looked away from Noah back to Liv and tried to get the conversation back on track after he'd surprised me. ‘One day we'll have the library of our dreams, right, Liv?' I said.

She nodded. ‘We will. So, how did Deborah Day end up writing about vampires? And are they sexy?'

‘It's a really sexy book,' I said. ‘You will love it. I loved it. I was so surprised that was what she's writing now. It should be huge.'

Liv frowned. ‘It is a shame she's not as popular now. She was one of my gateway romance books.'

I nodded. ‘Me too. I think they perhaps relied on her faithful readers too much.'

‘I agree,' Noah said. ‘They kept doing what they'd always done but we need to attract younger readers and new fans.'

‘I get the feeling Deborah Day is just as frustrated.' I turned to Noah. ‘Maybe we shouldn't do a glossy presentation but just ask her what she thinks? Make it clear we want to make this a hit, and give her the chance to have input.'

Noah smiled. I hated how handsome he still was. Even his glasses looked sexy on him. Ugh.

‘Completely agree. The staff have labelled her as a diva but I think she's just fed up with staying stuck in the midlist. There's no reason this book couldn't be a bestseller if we create an effective campaign.'

‘You're actually agreeing with me?'

‘Don't get too used to it,' he joked back.

We looked at one another and I got a jolt of the past sparks I used to feel when we talked. How we'd been on the same page on so many things. I couldn't let myself get confused though. That was then. This was now.

Noah went to say something else but then his phone started ringing. He glanced at the screen and sighed.

‘Excuse me.'

He walked away to answer it.

‘Oh my God, Stevie, is this terrible for you?' Liv asked when he'd gone. ‘Although he's not as grumpy as you said he's been? Right, Aiden?'

Aiden saw my face and held a hand up. ‘I don't think my opinion is valid here.'

I had to smile at that. ‘Well, he's being friendlier than at work. Everyone calls him The Shark there. He really had no sympathy for the people he made redundant. It was cruel how he told them to just go. Basically, everyone left there hates him now and…'

I stopped abruptly as Noah reappeared so suddenly, I didn't see him. I looked up and I couldn't deny the look of hurt on his face. I had no idea what to say. There was no point pretending that I hadn't been talking about him.

Noah cleared his throat. ‘Um, so, I have to go.' He shifted on his feet. ‘I have to do some work to send back to New York,' he said shortly. He looked at Liv and Aiden. ‘It really was a pleasure to meet you. Thank you for today. I hope you enjoy the second half. Stevie, I'll see you in the office on Monday.' He didn't look in my direction when he said that.

Without waiting for us to say anything, he started to walk away.

I felt too guilty to leave things like that so I jumped up and hurried after him.

‘Noah, wait,' I called out.

He stopped. ‘Yes?'

So cold. Back in manager mode.

I put my hands on my hips. ‘You're leaving just because I said what you must already know. You're called The Shark, for God's sake!'

‘I know what people at work say about me, Stevie. But hearing it from you…' He trailed off and went to push his sleeves up but then must have remembered he had a t-shirt on so he raked a hand through his hair instead. ‘But they don't understand. How difficult my job is. Dealing with everything going on above me. It's hard. You have no idea what the past five years have been like.'

I narrowed my eyes. ‘Am I meant to feel sorry for you? You think it was easy for me when you left?'

We stared at one another.

‘It wasn't?' Noah asked.

Was it my imagination or was there hope in his eyes?

I hesitated because I really didn't want to admit how much he had broken my heart when I was sure he hadn't thought about me since.

Noah looked away with a sigh. ‘There's no point in talking about us. We should just pretend we only met for the first time on Wednesday. I think it'll be better for me, and it's definitely better for you. We need to focus on work. The past will just complicate things.' He briefly glanced at me to give me a nod. An actual nod! ‘Until Monday.'

Frustrated, I watched him walk out of the park. Noah had never been this reserved with me. He was cold, shut down, business-like. A million miles away from the man who had held me in his arms and told me I'd changed his life.

Stevie, I swear my life was like grey clouds until you walked into it, and then it was like the sun came out.

I shivered as I remembered those words he'd said to me the first time we told each other we loved one another. No man had ever said anything like that to me before or since. That's why him leaving had been such a shock. Had he lied to me for a year? Was my Noah a figment of my imagination? Was the man who just stomped off through the park the real him?

My head was spinning. But I thought about what my mum had said the night before. That maybe it was a good thing when Noah was cold and reserved and grumpy and stand-offish. Because if he was nothing like the Noah I had known then my feelings were safe.

The problem was today had given me a glimpse of what he'd been like five years ago. A glimpse that suggested maybe, just maybe, that man was still there underneath.

And that didn't feel safe at all.