Chapter 9

ELODIE

The following weekend, Todd came to town. He took me out to one of our favorite Mexican places in West Hollywood, where we'd had our second date.

Todd had been the consummate gentleman when we'd first started seeing each other. He hadn't demanded sex by the third date like other guys I'd gone out with. He'd been patient, letting the relationship develop at a slow pace. He'd taken me out on the town, bought me flowers, and told me I was beautiful.

We'd met when I'd been writing my book. He'd been encouraging, always asking me questions about it, marveling that anyone could write an entire book.

"Writing college papers was bad enough," he'd lamented. "But an entire book? No way."

He'd been there for me when my mom's extended family had tried to reinsert themselves into my life. I hadn't wanted anything to do with them, considering they'd abandoned my mom when she'd gotten pregnant with me out of wedlock. Even after she and my dad married, they judged her. Then my dad had run off, and they'd let a single mother struggle when she shouldn't have had to.

Todd had been a good boyfriend. So when he took my hand, his expression open, and he said, "I'm moving back to LA," I should've been overjoyed.

"What?" I gaped at him. "Why?"

"Because you don't want to move to San Francisco." He squeezed my hand. "And our relationship is more important than anything else. I realized after you left the last time that I was letting my ambition get in the way. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry if you felt pressured."

I slowly took my hand back. I struggled to find the words to respond. Shouldn't I be excited? Relieved? But I mostly felt . . . annoyed.

"You can't give up this job opportunity," I said. "You've worked your ass off."

Todd raised his eyebrows. "There'll be other positions, and don't worry about my apartment. I signed a month-to-month lease because I felt I wouldn't be staying there long."

Now, I just felt horribly guilty. "You said it yourself. The company is moving away from LA. There won't be many positions based here, and you had your heart set on this job."

"But it doesn't matter. You matter, Elodie. That's what I want you to understand."

I still felt perturbed—at Todd? At myself? At the world? I didn't know. I shoveled some chips and salsa into my mouth because I didn't know what to say.

"I just don't know," I said, shaking my head. "I'd feel terrible for making you give up this job."

"But not enough to move to San Francisco," said Todd quietly.

"God, why did shit get so complicated?"

When the server brought out our dishes, I was relieved by the reprieve from this discussion. Fortunately, Todd seemed to sense that I didn't want to talk about this anymore because he changed the discussion to lighter topics.

He told me about his trip to a local Chinese place in San Francisco that served the hottest noodles in the city. Todd and a few of his coworkers ate the noodles, initially enjoying them despite the mouthwatering spice, only to go home and regret that decision all night.

"I think I broke the toilet." Todd laughed. "Babe, it was the most painful experience in my entire life. I felt like I was giving birth."

My lips twitched. "Todd, I'm trying to eat here!"

"Sorry, sorry. But the noodles were so good that I kept eating the leftovers, but I had to eat it on the toilet because, well—"

We finished our dinner in a good mood. Todd came over to my place, and before I'd even shut the front door, he took my face in his hands and kissed me.

The kiss was deep and slow, and I felt a burgeoning heat in my belly. I kissed him back. I wanted to see if what I'd felt was real.

But as Todd maneuvered me farther into my house, I suddenly felt stifled. I had the urge to push him away from me even though I'd been so turned on all the time lately.

Maybe it was the way his tongue kept snaking in and out of my mouth. Or the fact that he tasted like onions from his burrito. Any eroticism I might've felt was extinguished when he grabbed one of my breasts and squeezed a little too hard.

I broke the kiss. "Todd," I said, breathing heavily.

"What?"

He started to unzip my jeans, but I batted his hands away. He gave me a confused look like a lost puppy, which only irritated me.

"I don't think this is a good idea," I said.

He stilled, then stepped back. His expression shuttered. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything." I sat down on the edge of my bed, sighing deeply. "This isn't working anymore."

"You're going to have to be more specific."

I gritted my teeth. "Our relationship. I think we need to go our separate ways."

Todd just stared at me, but I didn't back down. I felt strangely relieved, saying the words aloud finally.

"I told you I wasn't going to take the job," he said finally.

"But you should take it. It's a huge opportunity. I don't want you to stall your career for me."

"I just told you that I was fine with it."

"Are you?"

When he looked away, I had my answer. I patted the spot next to me on the bed, and he eventually sat down next to me.

"We just aren't compatible. Not anymore, at least," I said quietly. "I think you feel it, too."

"Maybe. But what I said earlier was true: our relationship is more important than my job."

"I believe you, but at the same time, it shouldn't be this hard. I think you'll regret giving up that job in the long run. And I don't want to move to San Francisco. I'm okay with you needing to move on."

Todd looked sad yet not devastated. He pushed his fingers through his hair. Had he been considering whether breaking up was a good idea, too?

"So does this mean we're breaking up?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. Don't you think it's for the best?"

"I don't know. But if it's what you want, I won't fight you on it."

Todd left soon after. He didn't kiss me goodbye, but his expression looked resigned. I felt guilty, but I also had no interest in calling off the breakup. Especially with what I had waiting for me around the corner. Something I knew I'd regret passing up.

I felt free. I felt like I could live the life that I wanted without worrying about Todd. He'd been a good boyfriend for the years we'd been together, but we'd outgrown each other. I'd always have a place in my heart for him.

This wasn't a bad thing. It was just . . . life. And life had a way of forcing your hand sometimes.

When I drove to The Scarlet Rope the next evening, I didn't think too hard about why I wanted to go there. Maybe I just wanted to distract myself.

Or maybe I wanted to run into Mac.

I used Mac's password, wandering inside without any plan. I immediately got a drink from the bar, needing a bit of liquid courage for tonight.

I was continually surprised at how busy the club was, even during the week. Did none of these people have nine-to-five jobs? Nobody was tired after spending over an hour commuting to their office?

Then again, I had a feeling the people who had the money to be patrons here weren't worried about getting to the office on time in the morning. They were probably athletes like Mac, or actors with mansions in the hills, or billionaire CEOs with plenty of employees to do the real work for them.

A man in a black mask started flirting with me, and I let him for a while. When he asked me what I liked, I just shook my head.

"I'm still figuring that out," I admitted.

"Well, this is the perfect place to try things out." He raised his glass. "If you want somebody to experiment with me, ask for me. I'm Viper."

"That's your legal name, then?" I joked.

He winked. "Spend some time with me to find out."

I politely declined his offer, which he took in stride. I wandered to watch a few different scenes, including one that was some role-play. A woman nearby had to whisper in my ear that it was apparently a monster/captive roleplay.

"Monster?" I whispered, confused. "What, like Frankenstein?"

"This guy is an alien. He's abducted this woman to his spaceship."

I marveled, shaking my head. It also said a lot that I wasn't horrified and merely intrigued. It was like nothing could surprise me anymore. The Scarlet Rope had apparently pushed way beyond my boundaries. Where once I would've scurried in the opposite direction, now I was just curious.

I watched for a little longer until deciding to move on. When I entered the BDSM private room, I found a chair near the back and made myself comfortable.

This scene was a man and a woman. The man was the dominant this time. He was clad in black leather, a mask on his face, while the woman was already naked.

The man was all muscles, and I couldn't help but see a resemblance to Mac. I swallowed hard when he bent the woman over a table and began to spank her so hard that he left red handprints on her ass.

"Get on your knees," he commanded.

The woman complied, gazing up at the man with wide eyes.

"Take out my cock," he then said.

She did so, his cock large and veiny. She could barely fit her hand around its girth.She licked it up one side and down the other. The man, though, took hold of her hair and pushed her down so she swallowed his entire cock.

He fucked the woman's throat until he finally pulled away to let her breathe. She gasped, saliva running down her chin as she licked her lips like she couldn't wait for more.

I felt sweat bead on my upper lip. I glanced at the other people in the room, but when my gaze caught a handsome man's eye, I quickly looked back at the scene in front of me.

The woman choked on this man's cock, but she still moaned in disappointment when he told her to go lie down on the bed. He went to the wall of whips, chains, and other instruments, taking down a few items and going to the bed.

"Beg me," he said to the woman as he lightly traced down her spine with a crop.

"Please, Master." The woman got on her hands and knees.

The man whipped her ass until it was bright red. "Keep begging," he said.

She begged and moaned and begged again until he'd covered her body in welts from the whip. Then the man got onto the bed, pushed her down, and thrust his cock into her as she screamed in ecstasy.

As I watched, I floated between time and space, paying extra attention to this since it involved submitting to a Dom. In many ways, this was practice. It was strange, watching this while no one was touching me. I wished suddenly that Mac was here.

I also suddenly wished Mac would do these things to my body. I trusted him. I'd always played by the rules and was tired of it. What would it be like to do something completely out of my comfort zone? To experience sex unlike I'd ever experienced before?

I left The Scarlet Rope in a haze. I barely registered that a man was standing outside, his arms crossed, leaning against a beat-up Corolla I'd recognize anywhere.

"Elodie," Mac said, his deep voice making me shiver.

My heart lurched. His hand was outstretched. Without a second thought, I took it, and his eyes flashed with a heat that made me nearly melt into a puddle right at his feet.