Chapter 39

The afternoon drifts into evening as I sit outside on the balcony. CeCe is inside with my mom, cleaning up and making a new mess at the same time. There are a million things I want to say to Summer. So many words that barely feel adequate enough.

"Come on, Pops. Help me out, here," I whisper into the sunset and close my eyes.

I wait for something to happen. A breeze. A bird. A butterfly. Anything I can chalk up to feeling his presence and feeling his guidance. I wait another moment before I hear the sliding glass door open behind me and CeCe quietly makes her way outside. Her fingers gently touch my forearm and I scoop her up into my lap.

"Why are you sad?" She points to my face, looking at me with a set of eyes that match mine.

That match his.

"I'm not sad." I kiss her forehead as she leans against my chest. "I have you."

She smiles up at me as an idea pops in my head. I knew I wanted to do something for Summer, but the picture wasn't clear until now.

"Hey, do you think you can help me with something for Summer?"

CeCe nods her head with enthusiasm.

"Come on, Peanut." I grab CeCe's hand as she steps out of my truck and we take it slow as we walk through the parking garage. Walking on my knee still aches like a bitch, but the swelling has gone down quite a bit in the last few days. With every slow step I take, it's a reminder of how badly I want to take back the way I spoke to Summer the other day. I'm not that guy. I'm not someone who dismisses people I care about, and I let my frustration with myself bleed out into my interaction with her. She didn't deserve it, and even though she said she wasn't upset by it—it doesn't mean I feel good about my actions.

We walk into the lobby and I let CeCe press the elevator button so we can head up to Summer's apartment. CeCe is carrying the new purse she got for Christmas with who knows what inside, but it's filled to the brim. She needed help closing it and when I asked her to take some things out she said she needed it all.

Toddlers.

Knowing Summer is planning to come home tonight will hopefully give me an opportunity to see her before she goes into work tomorrow morning. I'm thankful my mom will be in town one more night so I can slip out this evening, no matter what time Summer gets back. Hell, I'd wait outside her apartment door if I could.

When I twist the key that Abby left me into the lock and turn the knob, CeCe bolts in ahead of me carrying her purse and one of the lighter grocery bags I brought. I know Summer doesn't keep much food stocked in her apartment since she said she isn't here for many meals, but I made sure to stop at the store on the way over and grab a few snacks I know she likes to have on hand.

Her apartment smells like coconuts when I walk in and set things down on the kitchen counter. There's a small picture in the corner with a photo of her, Abby, and Mia from the night we won the Super Bowl a few years ago. It's fucking wild to me now, looking at a picture of Summer and seeing the woman I want to be with versus just looking at it and seeing my sister's best friend. It's amazing what can change in a matter of days, moments.

"Can you put the peanut butter in the pantry?" I ask, pointing to the door to my right.

CeCe nods her head and grabs the peanut butter along with a box of Summer's favorite Oreo flavored protein bars and puts both of them in the pantry.

"Can I have cake?" CeCe questions when she pulls the single slice of red velvet cake from the bag.

"No, that's for Summer."

The fact that red velvet was the only cake flavor left was something that couldn't have happened by coincidence. It was purely something that was just meant to be. I've learned a lot of small, random things about Summer recently. Most things I was surprised I didn't know, considering I've known her all of her life. But red velvet cake is her favorite, her least favorite is carrot cake.

There are a few things I already knew though, which I think surprised her. I know she can't sleep with her hair up. It has to be down. And she can't take a test with her hair down, it has to be up. She likes peanut butter and honey on her waffles and pays for the extra storage on her cell phone even though she has no idea what the cloud is. I know she once broke her arm jumping into a canal from an old bridge in our hometown. She played on the powder puff football team for homecoming week her senior year. I remember because she very annoyingly at the time would text me while I was at college about different plays she wanted to run, asking for my opinion, even when the game didn't mean anything.

I didn't see her then. She didn't register to me as anyone other than a girl who was not shy at all about her crush on her best friend's older brother.

Carefully, I place the egg container on the bottom shelf and close the refrigerator door, taking a look around to see if there's anything on the counter that I missed. CeCe has taken a seat on the couch while I wipe down the counter after some water spilled from the vase with the flowers and I grab a small piece of paper from her drawer along with a pen to jot down a quick note.

I'm glad I checked with my sister before coming over here. I wouldn't want to invade Summer's privacy, but Abby assured me that whatever I had planned to surprise Summer with was worth it. I sure hope she's right.

Summer's dresser is jam packed with clothing when I open the bottom drawer that Abby told me I'd find her scrubs in. This woman has more clothes than anyone I think I've ever met.

I pull out a pair of the navy blue scrubs and fold them up nicely, placing them on her nightstand with a protein bar, bottle of water and two ready-to-pop bags of popcorn with extra butter before closing her bedroom door behind me after I walk out.

"Okay, I think we're ready," I mention to CeCe.

She starts pulling things from her purse and laying them on the floor.

"Wait," she squeals.

I watch as CeCe places pictures she's colored all around Summer's apartment. Many of these I haven't even seen before. She puts one on her coffee table, another on the TV stand and then I watch her place another one basically just in the middle of the floor. The last thing she pulls out of her purse is a string of beads and she reaches up, placing it next to the flowers.

"Okay." She smiles, zipping her purse and walking toward me.

I take CeCe's hand as we step out into the hallway, closing the door and locking it behind me.

Opening my eyes to everything wonderful that Summer is was a long time coming. I'm sure to everyone around me it was so fucking obvious. I just didn't see it. I didn't give her the chance. I missed it. People search their whole life looking for something I found two miles from where I grew up. Summer's always been there. And I missed it once. I'm not missing it again.

Summer's like that one random wildflower that starts to bloom surrounded by all the concrete on a sidewalk. She pops up, giving beauty and character among something that most people might deem ordinary. She took the shell of a man I was becoming and put some color back into my face. She brought joy into CeCe's life.

She's anything but ordinary.