Chapter 18

How the fuck did I just let that slip out?

"Let me get this straight…" Summer takes a step back, which only puts her right up against the door she was just planning to exit. One hand goes up and she looks genuinely confused as I stand there in front of her.

I guess I can't blame her, up until seven seconds ago she thought her very existence irritated me beyond belief.

"You… you don't regret kissing me?" Her hip pops out and she places her other hand on it firmly. The gold rings on her fingers stand out against the black sheer fabric she's wearing to cover up her bathing suit underneath. She has yet to even take this cover up off, even when she was sitting with her legs in the pool.

Suddenly, I'm paying attention to the way her body looks and the clothes that have been covering it. The overalls, the big oversized t-shirts. In all the time I've known Summer, her wardrobe has been her own. She wears brighter colors and usually things that hug her frame, but I see now how much of her body she's trying to cover.

"Why are you wearing this?" I ask, pulling at the fabric near her shoulder.

"I—What? That has nothing to do with what I just asked you."

"You haven't taken this off the entire time you've been here. And you wear overalls now, and shirts that hang to your knees. Why?"

She scoffs and rolls her eyes. "So, you've taken an interest in my clothing choices. Nice, Chase."

"You're not answering my question," I retort.

" You're not answering mine. I asked first, and frankly, my question is a hell of a lot more important than why I'm wearing overalls."

"God, you're difficult." A defeated sigh leaves my chest as her eyes widen, waiting for me to answer.

"That kiss…" I start. "I don't know what came over me. Dare I say, I liked being around you and fuck… I don't know. But I shouldn't want to kiss you. And lately, it's all I can fucking think about and it's messing with my head." Her eyes bore into mine. Bright blue and pleading for more.

A hint of a smile crosses her lips. "Careful, Chase. This might go to my head."

I tilt my head and blink my eyes slowly at her attempt to be funny when I'm trying to be serious. "It can't happen again. There's too much at stake to let it happen again. I never want to hurt you or ruin any kind of friendship we have, as dysfunctional as it may be."

I can barely believe I'm even admitting any of this shit out loud right now. If I wasn't going to see her so often, I probably would've just kept it to myself, but knowing she's going to be around more, the right thing to do was get it out.

"We are pretty dysfunctional." She laughs. "But you don't owe me an apology."

Both of us are silent for a moment before she asks, "Out of curiosity, though, why exactly can't it happen again?"

"Because it can't. For lack of a better term, you're my babysitter. A babysitter who CeCe loves and I can't screw that up for her."

She scoffs at my reasoning. I know she's thinking it's a pathetic excuse. Maybe she's right, but it's also more than that. It's the fact that I've known her for over twenty years, the fact that she's my sister's best friend, things could get messy with Summer and I don't want the mess. I've done messy and it's fucking hell.

"So, you enjoyed my company and you want to kiss me… but you don't want yourself to kiss me, so you're just simply… not going to kiss me again? Do I have that right?"

I nod.

"That easy?" Her voice lowers.

"That easy," I say firmly, hoping to convince both her and myself.

The glimmer in Summer's eye has me questioning everything I just laid out between us. But facts are facts, and I let myself get caught up in a moment and kissed the one person I shouldn't. It doesn't matter that it was the best fucking kiss I've ever had or the most relaxed I'd felt in a conversation in forever. It can't happen again.

"I respect it, but a piece of advice, Chase. It doesn't hurt to give in to the things you want sometimes." She shrugs as she walks past me and out the door.

Summer likes to question me and make me think twice about everything. To her, nothing is black and white, she lives in the gray areas. She's so comfortable in the unknown and the possibility of what could be. She's always open to new ideas and ways of thinking, whereas I feel like I live by a fucking right and wrong list most of the time. A golden rule book that lays things out clearly. To me things are cut and dry—have a problem? Here's the obvious solution. But Summer thrives in the gray and looks at things differently.

I'm not sure what to expect as I wait for Summer to get here this morning. I haven't seen her since the barbeque; although, I've thought about her every damn day.

As far as I'm concerned, I just need to go back to how things were before we kissed and focus on how many of her quirks bother me versus intrigue me.

There are a few taps at the door and CeCe goes flying into the foyer.

"Hey, we don't open the door without a grown up," I say as I'm walking to keep up with her strides.

Summer floats in once the door is opened, blonde hair pulled away from her face with a headband and a pair of leggings with a t-shirt hanging down to the middle of her thighs. I stop myself from doing a full scan of her body as she stands in front of me, a boastful smile already on her face as she catches me stopping myself.

"Good morning." She beams, walking past me and following CeCe into the kitchen.

My temples are already throbbing, along with another part of my body that I don't appreciate right now.

"Morning," I call after she's long gone, but her coconut scent seems to have lingered and is infiltrating my senses.

"Smells good in here," she says once I'm in the kitchen.

The coffee maker is brewing another pot, and I notice Summer pulls a protein bar from her purse.

"There's food here, you can make yourself whatever you'd like." I gesture to the pantry.

"Oh, I know. But I like these bars. Plus, I'm sure we'll make some grilled cheese within the hour." She covers her lips before continuing. "A brunch, if you will."

"I love brunch!" CeCe says from the opposite side of the table.

"Oh, do you now?" My eyes go wide.

"Summer always makes brunch," CeCe reveals, and my eyes dart to Summer standing against the counter, half eaten protein bar in her hand.

"What does she make for brunch?" My question is directed at CeCe, but I stare at Summer.

"A little of this, a little of that, bottomless mimosas, naturally."

Summer's smile broadens as I shake my head at her with a hearty laugh.

"Well, I'll be back after my meeting. It shouldn't be more than a couple of hours," I say to Summer while I put my phone in the pocket of my shorts.

Her eyes linger on my face for a moment before she replies. "Okay, we'll be here."

She lightly tugs on CeCe's ponytail before she runs off to her bedroom, I'm sure to grab whatever toy she has in mind to start their day with.

While I'm reaching for my car keys, Summer comes around the island and I feel her fingers on my arm. The tips of them are warm and soft, sending a small reprieve of comfort through me.

"This always drives me nuts," she says as she fixes the sleeve on my shirt where the hem was inside out.

She moves slowly, working her way around the entire width of the sleeve to make sure it's all to her liking before she looks back up at me. Her lips are pressed together and perfect cheekbones tilted up to meet my gaze.

God, her eyes… they're so fucking blue.

Bright and crystal clear, like some remote tropical waters out in the Caribbean. They're impossibly blue—so much so that someone could assume they're contacts. But I know better, that's all Summer.

Both of us seemingly lost in a very brief moment are brought back to reality by the giggle of a three-year-old at the other end of the table, holding a bunch of paint brushes and her small easel.

"You can paint too? You're a woman of many talents, Cecelia Hunt," Summer says, shifting all attention from me to my daughter.

An interruption I'm glad to have had, because one more moment getting lost in her looking at me might've had me breaking my own damn rules.

I quickly redirect my focus to leaving—kissing CeCe on the cheek and heading out the door with no more than a nod to Summer.

"What the hell has got you so wound up today, Hunt?"

I lift the weights one more time for a hammer curl and a grunt leaves my chest when I place them back on the rack. I didn't plan on doing a workout today, but the meeting ended early and I felt like I needed something to release some of this pent up energy.

"What do you mean?" I ask Nate, wiping my brow. "I'm fine."

"You seem more… tense than normal, which is actually saying a lot. I didn't think it'd be possible. Everything okay with CeCe?"

"She's good." I grab a towel from the clean stack in the weight room and swipe it across the back of my neck.

"Did something happen with Summer?"

"No," I reply instantly, and Nate begins a low chuckle just as Ford approaches us.

Great. Someone else has entered the conversation.

"What's so funny?" Ford asks.

"I don't know for sure, but I think…" Nate starts, but before his imagination can get too carried away, I just fess up.

"Summer and I kissed. I kissed her. It shouldn't have happened and won't happen again."

"Is it my turn now to get pissed at you for kissing my wife's best friend?" Ford jokes.

"Believe me, I'm pissed enough at myself for the both of us."

"So, is something going on with you two then?"

"No," I quickly answer Nate's question. "It can't happen again. It won't."

"Just make sure she isn't upset or anything, man. You know how she feels about you… don't fuck with her."

"You don't think I've already been beating myself up over that part?" My eyes narrow at Ford. It's thoughtful of him to want to look out for Summer, even if it is simply for the sake of Abby.

"When did this even happen?"

I can feel a headache coming on already and I'm second guessing if mentioning anything to them was the right thing to do, but eventually this would've come up.

"The night that storm came through… the streets were flooded, there was no way I could let her drive home in that. My sister would've killed me if something happened to her best friend because I sent her out in a storm. So, she stayed and we talked and then it just got late. I don't fucking know what happened. I let my old self get the best of me apparently." My eyes squeeze together and I take a sip from my water. "It was a good fucking kiss, but I can't do that again. I told her it can't happen again," I add.

"Oh, you're a fucking idiot, Hunt." Nate laughs.

"Why? We talked about it and she was fine, I think."

"You kiss her, you like it and then think you can just be around her so often and it won't happen again because you say it won't? Idiot." Nate's index finger rams into my shoulder like a kid proving a point.

"I've been successfully not kissing Summer for the last twenty years of my life. I think I can manage not doing it again."

The two exchange a glance.

"Good luck with that." Ford shakes his head at me.

My comment doesn't seem to convince Ford or Nate.

But it doesn't have to convince them. It just needs to convince me .