Chapter 17

Ada finished tying the bandage that covered Max’s shoulder and angled around his torso under his other arm. He looked like he was wearing a sash.

“Does it still hurt?” she asked as she tidied up, taking the basin of bloody water to a table near the door.

Max sat on a chair in front of the hearth, his head angled as he tried to see her handiwork. “Not really. Thank you.”

Ada went back to him and sat in the other chair. “I suppose you’re waiting for me to tell you about the child.” She hadn’t intended to tell him about it, but after what he’d shared with her, she wanted to, especially if it meant he would let Lucien back in.

“Only if you want to,” he said quietly. “Don’t feel as though you must.”

“But I do. Your rift, or whatever it is with Lucien, troubles me. Friendship sometimes means doing hard things. Such as telling someone they’re being foolish when they absolutely are.”

“Is that what Evie did for you?”

Ada nodded. “Do you remember the lover I mentioned?” At his nod, she went on. “I was pregnant and despondent. I didn’t want to bring a bastard into the world.” Her insides clenched—that was only part of it, and she couldn’t tell him the rest. He would be horrified by her behavior. This much was shameful enough. “As an unwed mother, my choices, which were already slim, would be practically nonexistent. I’d already had to leave my position as governess.”

“He should have married you.”

Jonathan had loved her, but he was married. She couldn’t bring herself to tell Max, knowing how upset he was about his father’s infidelity. Max would never look at her the same way again. “He couldn’t, and there’s no sense being upset with him. It was my foolish behavior.”

“What did you do?”

“I took Evie’s advice, and I decided not to have the baby. There are…ways to do that.” She clasped her hands in her lap. “I don’t regret it. Sometimes I think of the child I might have had, and I feel sad, but it was the right thing to do—for me and the child. What I do regret is putting myself in a situation where I had to make that choice. I should have known better.”

He was quiet a long moment before asking, “Is that why you try so hard to resist what we feel for each other?”

He’d seen clear through her. “Yes. Our attraction is something I should avoid.” She said it with a light laugh, but that came from unease. It was more than just the physical pull they felt toward each other. She had to protect her heart. She didn’t want to talk about that, so she diverted the conversation. “What are you going to do about Lucien?”

Max leaned back, frowning. “I don’t know. Perhaps I’m angry with him so that I’m not always angry at myself.”

“You shouldn’t be angry at either.”

He took a labored breath. “I failed to protect Lucia.”

Ada heard the pain in his voice and would have done anything to take it away. “Don’t let guilt rule your life.”

“I should listen to you—since you’re an expert on such things. I am trying.”

“I know. I do think forgiving Lucien and reestablishing your friendship would help. As hard as you think that might be.”

He ran his hand through his blond hair, tousling it so that she longed to make it tidy. No, that was just an excuse to touch him. Her fingers practically itched with the need to do so. After everything he’d told her tonight, she wanted to hold him, to comfort him, to give him the solace he needed.

He wiped his hand over his mouth and sat straighter in the chair. “I’ll try. Lucien will crow about that, I imagine.”

“I don’t think he will. He only wants you to get better. His concern for you has been at the crux of everything he’s tried to do with and for you.”

“When he came to ask for Prudence’s dowry, he tried to persuade me that forging a relationship with her would be good for me.” His jaw tightened. “He was right.”

“I’m so glad you changed your mind about that.”

His eyes met hers. “You were right too. About everything.” He let his gaze dip to her breasts and then lower, heating her already aroused body, before finding her face once more. “It’s a pity I can’t show you how much I appreciate you.”

“It’s not even your turn,” she said, sliding from the chair onto her knees. Moving forward, she gripped his thighs and positioned herself between his legs, which he widened to accommodate her. “It’s my turn to appreciate you.”

“Ada, I thought you were trying to resist me.”

“There can be no harm in this, can there?” She glanced toward his thick erection straining beneath his clothing. Then she looked up at him, working hard to keep the love from her expression. It was difficult. “If I can’t touch you after all you’ve shared with me tonight, I’ll go mad. Will you let me?”

“Only if you let me do so in return.” He caressed her cheek and cupped her chin. “That’s not negotiable.”

She nodded. “All right.”

He leaned forward and captured her mouth in a sweet but savage kiss, his lips and tongue plundering hers as he held her. His other hand gripped her head so he could keep her captive as he deepened the kiss, forcing her head back.

Desire throbbed between her legs as she clutched his thighs, her fingers digging into his breeches. She moved her hands up, searching for the buttons. Finding them, she plucked them free, anticipation building with each one.

She pulled down the fall and slid her hand into the slit of his small clothes. His cock nestled there, thick and hard, his flesh warm and smooth against her. Tucking her fingers beneath him, she encircled him with her hand and moved from the base to the tip, where she pushed back the skin and skimmed her thumb across the top.

He moaned into her mouth before pulling away and falling back against the chair. He slouched down, giving her better access. It wasn’t enough, however. She wanted him bare.

Reluctantly, but necessarily, she let him go to quickly remove his boots. He growled, sounding most aggrieved until he realized what she was doing. When she tugged at his clothing, he lifted his hips so she could more easily peel it from him.

As she exposed his flesh, she licked her lips, then tossed the garments away, including his stockings. Her gaze fell on the scar on his thigh. It was the worst one, really. Long and still reddish where the rest were pink.

“This must have been awful,” she whispered, tracing her fingers along the ruined flesh.

“I barely felt it when it happened. Later, it was terrible. I think it was a bayonet. It apparently came quite close to severing an artery that would have caused me to lose all the blood in my body.”

She snapped her head up. “I’m incredibly glad it didn’t.” She pressed her lips to the scar, then glided her tongue along the rigid flesh.

He moaned, and it was the most intoxicating sound she’d ever heard. Emboldened, she continued her path upward and then to his cock. It stood proud and eager for her touch. Blond curls cloaked him at the base. She cupped his balls, massaging them gently as she watched liquid bead on the tip.

Max thrust his hand into her hair, dislodging strands so they floated against her cheeks and temples. He gripped her head as she lowered her lips to him, kissing his shaft before curling her hand around the base. She licked him, moving up to the tip where she spread the liquid there with her thumb.

He held her tightly, his thighs tensing around her. She put her mouth over him and pressed her tongue against him. Then she began to move very slowly, using her hand and mouth in concert.

He growled and moaned, making all manner of erotic noises that aroused her even more. Her breasts tingled, and her sex throbbed. She wished she was bare too. But then the temptation to climb atop him and ride him to their mutual release would be impossible to avoid.

Suddenly, he dragged her from him, tugging her hair, but not painfully. His cock left her mouth, and she looked up at his lust-dazed expression. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t enjoy this without you. Do you trust me?”

“Of course.”

His eyes glittered with sensual promise. “Then I’m taking you to bed.”

Max hauled Ada to her feet as he stood, nude, and swept her into his arms. He carried her swiftly into her bedchamber and set her down next to the bed. “Too much clothing.” He started to unfasten the front of her gown, which had a drop front.

She put her hands over his. “I’m not sure I can resist you if I’m naked too.”

He smiled at her, kissing her softly. “You said you trusted me. I won’t risk a child, and I don’t mean that I’ll leave your body. We’re going to enjoy each other just as we were—but together. You haven’t done that before?”

“No. Show me.” Her eyes narrowed seductively.

He unfastened her gown and helped her out of it, then moved on to her petticoat. She turned so he could loosen her corset. That joined the other garments on the floor, leaving her in just a chemise, which she quickly drew over her head.

No, that wasn’t accurate, for she was still wearing her boots, stockings, and garters. Max lifted her onto the bed, then crouched down to remove her boots, working quickly. When they were gone, he trailed his fingertips up her calf to the inside of her knee. He untied one garter and stripped it away with the stocking. Then he moved to her other leg and performed the exact same series of actions. When he was finished, her thighs were quivering.

He stood up between her legs and put his fingers on her sex, teasing her flesh. “You are so wet already.”

“It’s rather humiliating how much I want you.” Her cheeks flushed.

“It’s damned intoxicating.” He bent his head and kissed her as he stroked his fingers into her.

She gripped his upper arms as she spread her legs wider and began to fall backward. He eased her down, never ceasing his thrusts into her wet channel. Breaking the kiss, he moved his lips down her throat into the valley between her breasts before sliding to the right and taking her nipple into his mouth.

He sucked hard, and she bucked up. He’d already been barreling toward his orgasm when she’d had her mouth on his cock, and if he wasn’t careful, he was going to explode.

Pulling away from her, he worked to draw a deep breath. It was a trifle difficult due to the height of his excitement.

“I’m going to lie down, and you’re going to get on top of me so that you can finish what you started. Understand?”

Her gaze was dark and heavy lidded. “I think so.” She moved to give him room.

Anticipation screamed through him as he climbed onto the bed and positioned himself. He flattened his palms against the coverlet.

She flicked a glance toward his cock, her brow creasing so that those adorable pleats he loved formed between her brows. “And I’m to straddle you?”

“Put your mouth on my cock, Ada. Then let me put my mouth on your pussy. Now, please?” It wasn’t a command, but if she didn’t move quickly, he was going to frig himself out of desperation.

Her hair was still mostly held up by pins, but dark strands caressed her face and nape. She tucked errant curls behind her ears and lowered her head to his waist. She grasped his cock and put him in her mouth. Then she moved over him.

The scent of her arousal filled his senses as he clasped her thighs and positioned her. He started with his thumb, swirling over her clitoris. He’d forgotten the focus it took to give while receiving, but he was so eager to taste her again.

Holding her open with his thumbs, he licked inside her, thrusting his tongue in and out as he’d done with his fingers. She began to move against him, her hips rolling with a persistent rhythm that he responded to with his own body.

She sucked him deep, then lifted, her hand moving up his cock along with her mouth. His hips rose with her as pleasure coiled within him.

He increased the pressure of his tongue and moved one thumb up to her clitoris. She answered by taking him farther into her mouth and closing harder around him, her hand stroking him with ruthless, relentless vigor. Then she cupped his balls, squeezing gently as she drew him to the back of her throat.

He cried out against her and gripped her backside, digging his fingers into her flesh as he rushed toward his orgasm. Working his thumb furiously over her clitoris, he speared his tongue into her and licked at her wet folds. Her muscles quivered, then clenched, and he sensed she was about to come.

Good, because he was lost.

Her muscles tensed as his hips jerked. Hell, he had no idea if she wanted him coming in her mouth, but it was too late.

Eyes closed, he fought to deliver her into ecstasy while riding his own. He’d no idea what he did next. There was only bliss and satisfaction and the desperate need to never let her go.

At some point, she left him, and he heard her deep, rapid breaths that matched his own. He worked to steady himself—his limbs were shaking. Damn, he didn’t remember when he’d felt this good.

He felt the bed move and opened his eyes. She’d turned around and moved next to him.

“That was…astonishing,” she said, pushing hair out of her face. More of it—much more—had come loose.

“I thought you might enjoy that.”

“I think it’s my new favorite thing.” Her gaze fell on his shoulder, and she gasped, her eyes rounding. “You’re bleeding!”

He’d completely forgotten about his wound. “It doesn’t hurt.” Well, now that they were talking about it, it did.

She sat up and untied the bandage, which was close to her. Carefully, she lifted it from the wound. “It’s just a trickle. Still, we should not have done that. I’ll make a fresh bandage and re-dress it.” She looked him in the eye. “Don’t move.”

“I don’t think I could if I wanted to. You quite ruined me.”

“Sorry.”

He smiled. “In the best way.” He pulled her head down and kissed her soundly but briefly. “Thank you.”

She left the bed and went back into the main room. When she returned, she had a new bandage and a damp cloth, which she used to clean the wound again.

Max closed his eyes as she cared for him. He could get used to this.

To what exactly?

To her. With him. All the time.

He loved her, he realized. But he didn’t want to. The pain that came with losing that love wasn’t worth it. Ada had been right. He was wounded. What she couldn’t realize was that, like the scars on his body, those wounds would always be there. He was not the man he was before, nor could he ever be. She deserved a whole man—someone who could be as brilliant and rapturous for her as she was for him.

That wasn’t him.

She finished tying the new bandage around him. “There we are, all better. Now, no more exerting yourself.”

He opened his eyes and looked up at her. She’d let her hair down and tied it over one shoulder with a ribbon. “You helped.”

Her lips parted, and she gave him a scolding stare. “You’re teasing me.” Then she laughed. “That is so delightful. You must do it again.”

“Alas, I suppose I must dress myself and find my way to my chamber.”

She shook her head firmly. “Nonsense. I said no exertion. That includes putting on clothes and leaving the bed. You’re sleeping here, and I won’t brook any argument.”

“I would never argue with you.” He couldn’t stop the grin that split his lips.

She laughed. “You’re rather good at this teasing thing.”

After tidying up from rebandaging him, she helped him under the covers then rounded the bed to climb in herself. Turning toward him, she asked, “Do I need to put on a night rail, or will you behave yourself?”

He reached for her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the knuckles. “Do you really think a night rail is sufficient barrier for either of us?”

She blew out a breath, making a silly sound with her lips. “You make a valid point. We shall both have to do our best. I don’t want you opening that wound again, though. Do you understand?”

“Yes, mistress.”

She smiled, then leaned over to kiss him before rolling to her side.

He stared at the back of her head and basked in the joy that always surrounded her. Somehow, she’d managed to not only bring it to him—she’d given it to him when he’d thought he could never feel it again. Whatever happened tomorrow or the day after that, he’d be forever grateful to her.