chapter 15

A devil I will be until the end. It was a trick. To see if I could achieve what the music on stage had over her. What I had not anticipated was the effect at the sight of her befalling into a moment of ecstasy at my command would have on my own decrepit body.

As soon as the door latched behind her, I caught myself on the piano with one hand and gripped my cock with the other, trying to ease the relentless throbbing.

Christine listened to me with innocence, like a child with her teacher. Not once had this happened with her.

Melody. Sweet Melody listened with yearning.

Desire. That was what this was. It had not dawned on me that this kind of emotion played a factor in what urged me towards her.

‘Nearly brought to her knees. Breasts heaving. Tears stained her cheeks with the overwhelming sensations you brought her. You excited her, Erique,' the Ghost in my mind said. ‘How interesting.'

How much I wanted to keep her in that state. To read with her. God, the look in her eyes when I denied her. I loathed myself even more than the average day. But the ache in my own body was stronger than it had been, even when I was a younger man. If she had stayed, I may have…

No, I would not go to her unless she asked. Even then.

Suppressing the urge for release, for her, I let go and grabbed my cloak. Frustrated, my hat came next as I departed from that room for a much needed distraction.

Home or to inconvenience someone?

Passageways slipped by without thought, having trekked them more times than one could count, they slipped by as the Ghost's voice taunted.

He wanted to play.

The dancers had not been startled in a while. Perhaps it was time to muck about there.

The cramped space between the walls of the dorms were built with my slender frame in mind, not my broad shoulders. A small oversight on my part when building the damned place. I despised moving through them.

I had come to a stop, perfect placing to see within the room.

On the other side of the wood and plaster, a shaky humming bled through.

With slight trepidation, I peered into the cracked knothole.

What was left of my soul was gone upon the sight of her.

It was not humming. My angel was moaning, only this time she was awake.

Moonlight caressed her small naked breasts as she laid out on her bed. Soft stomach beckoning to have hands lain upon it. A focused palm circled a hardened nipple and massaged a pert breast while the other hand tended between her thighs.

A vision of true beauty. I would fall at the feet of this goddess if it would not frighten her.

What fantasies twirled within her mind? Did she imagine vile counts or monsters that hid within the dark?

‘Perhaps she imagines that her hand is your own,' the Ghost suggested.

She would never. No living soul would.

This should not have been witnessed by me.

‘Since when does the Opera Ghost care about such things as privacy?'

I had sworn to keep myself from here. Yet, God's army could not pull me away.

Wood slats pressed into my side as I strained to get closer.

Just this once.

"I am sorry, beautiful Melody." Gritting my teeth, I yanked at the clasp of my trousers and sighed in relief as I pulled myself from behind its cell.

Braced against the wall, I matched the rhythm of her hand.

Every stroke brought me pleasure I had long suppressed. Behind my eyes, scattered lights threatened to blind me as bliss spread.

I saw myself with her. She accepted me, begged for me even. To give her this kind of gratification. To smell her, taste her…

I was ready to collapse at any moment on the verge of zenith.

At the apex of her thighs, fingers continued to move. Never had I coveted a hand until now.

Slide inside. Make believe it is me that gives you such delight.

Her pace picked up. My body shook violently as I matched it. Her thick thighs clasped together as she convulsed. "Erique," she gasped.

Did my ears deceive? Had my name fallen from her lips during a moment of pleasure?

Stars blinded me, and bliss leaked from my eyes as I spilled onto the wall that enclosed her room.

"Mine," I muffled into the fabrics of my sleeve.

Lightheaded and weakened, I found the knothole through the fading stars. She rolled over and covered herself.

Left with a sense of disgust by my actions, I jammed myself back into my trousers.

The Ghost was right.

I had looked in on many as I wandered the opera. However, never had I done this.

***

The claws of guilt only tore into me one other time. When a friend heard of a King's plan to execute all who built his Palace of Illusions. For acts of treason, that friend lost his family as well as title of Police Chief for aiding a young deformed composer in escape.

The door closed behind me as I breached the roof.

Empty as usual. Made perfect for outdoor getaways on the rare occasion I would treat myself to the night air.

Not far in the distance stood the weathered pegasi and golden angels.

After descending a ladder, and many heavy steps later, I settled in at the base of the golden angel that stood watch over the busy streets.

The tranquility of night soothed like nothing else.

Almost nothing else.

When the world was dark, I could suspend myself from reality just a little more. My favorite time of day.

I was the Ghost. Or I was Erique, a man looking down into a world I longed to belong to and hated with every fiber of my being.

The glow from the moon in the starry, black sky touched all around. The night was so clear, it was like daylight. And I wished she were sitting with me, reading.

I sighed and removed the hard molded false face I wore. The Paris air roamed over the tortured thing that was my face, drying the sweat that accumulated inside when I shared a beautiful one sided moment that should never have happened.

The cool air flowed through my nostrils and filled my lungs. To breathe the air in without obstruction was a glimpse into the disgusting normalcy others felt.

When I exhaled, my body felt little relief from the effort.

Below, very few souls walked about. Men on their way home from the brothels. Late shift workers. Police. Women of the night.

Faint laughter drew my attention.

Leaning forward, I gripped the lip of the roof. A young couple had rounded the corner holding hands, seeming to enjoy the others' company.

My heart ached as I watched the man steal a kiss from his companion. How she accepted it with open lips and a smile.

Longed have I to kiss another. A soul that would not recoil and run away.

An impossible ask. A treacherous desire.

She may call my name, but even Melody would run at the sight of this… thing .

No. Christine. She will. No. Yes. Perhaps?

I growled into my palm.

Upon hearing a familiar voice, my wallowing paused as I leaned over the edge again.

Ah. The little Count. Satisfying your rotten cock on this eve as well?

The thought of the rope in my pocket crossed my mind. Instead, I scanned the surrounding area of the roof, finding a small piece of the concrete ledge which had broken off at some point.

I scooped it up quickly and searched for my target again. He was with another patron near the street.

"What are the odds I could hit a moving target from here?"

‘Good enough.'

"Who was that?" Philippe de Vermin yelled after the rubble ricocheted from his shoulder. "Who was that!"

"Lucky bastard. I was aiming for your head," I said, loud enough for only the angel to hear.

The couple that had been passing by hurried away as his rage grew. The man with him tried to ease the situation.

I chuckled, but the joy failed to alleviate the wretched twisting inside.

This was her fault. This stranger. This accidental angel…

My eyes lifted to the stars again, searching for the brightest one.

"Have you brought her here to torture me further or save me? Please. I yearn for something I have never tasted. I dream of life I can only read about. Deliver me from this anguish. My soul has faded to nothing. With every day I grow that much more of a monster. Something I have never wanted. I beg you every night, yet you still answer no, why? Is there nothing for me beyond this?

Am I only to be the devil you made me?"

Of course, there would be only one answer. It was foolish to have asked once again.