chapter 14

I have got to be fucking stupid. I fell asleep in the stables. How unsafe was that? How did that even happen? He—or anyone could have just done stuff to me.

My heart rattled around my chest as I stood outside one of the practice rooms of the opera house, strangling the strap of the messenger bag I wore.

This had been the only thing I'd thought about since waking up in my bed. Which still was a little fuzzy on how I got there.

Though I looked forward to the possibility that I would actually get to learn something I had always wanted to learn, something else was on my mind.

Surprisingly, it wasn't home…

He was going to teach me.

It was like being in a dream but not a dream. A nightmare with a dream element. Sometimes I still ponder whether this was real or if this was that place between life and death.

What a weird fucking place if it was.

Part of me hoped he'd come to me sometime during the day today while I was cleaning the dressing room, but he didn't.

I mean, I still didn't think I should be doing this. Any of this. Interacting with him or anyone else really, but… I was here.

It had to be the loneliness thing. I had gone a month without talking to anyone really.

Even now, Chirstine was off with Raoul and stayed at her grandmother's most days, so if I wanted to see her, it'd be rare. Antoinette was amazing, but the language barrier still made it feel lonely.

Then there's Erique.

It's like trying to avoid someone, but then the universe is like "uh no" and forces you into a small room together.

Speaking of small rooms…

I stared at the closed door. The one I had failed to open yet.

It still made me a little nervous. He's unstable, obviously. But talking to him was so easy. Relieving even.

His voice. Oh my God, his voice. It was hard to describe. Smooth and soft. But there was command in it. Power even when he was gentle. No wonder Christine believed he's an angel. He sounded like one.

Then there's the "what if I displeased him?" thing I kept thinking about. That my inability to be more than mediocre turned him against me.

A certain way to never get back home, that's for sure.

God. I hated knowing what I did. It almost seemed that this would've been better without my Phantom knowledge. At least maybe I wouldn't be as erratic.

"It's unlocked," he said from the other side of the door.

My heart jumped. Of course, he knew I was here.

Once inside, I scanned the room.

The back half was dark, not really sure how since there was a light at the center.

"I was afraid you changed your mind," he said.

"Me? Come to my senses and not meet a random man in a small room somewhere no one knows? Nope. Couldn't be me."

On a music stand at the center of the room, beneath that light, lay a stack of papers. Sheet music, I discovered as I got closer.

I fingered through the sheets, curiously. The hairs on my arms stood and the back of my neck tingled when I glanced into the dark. "Where are you?"

"I'm here," he said. "What do you know of music?"

"I can read it." I stepped towards the dark half of the room slowly, peering into it, just hoping to catch a glimpse of him.

"Do not go any further. I would hate for this to end."

I sighed. "You know that only makes one more curious, right? And I don't care what you look like. It's just weird to talk to nothing."

"You will be used to it soon enough," he said calmly. "Before we begin, there are some rules you must abide by."

"I'm listening…" I said, still staring into the void.

"You will dedicate yourself solely to this. Lessons are just the first step. You will need to be practicing whenever possible. And you will not come into the dark to find me. "

"Fine." I reluctantly agreed. "And?"

"You will have no outside distractions."

My ears perked up curiously. "Elaborate."

"This must be the only thing on your mind at all times. You will not distract yourself with personal relationships."

"Are you trying to say that I am not allowed friends?" Oh, fuck no. This is what he does to the Christines.

"They will distract you from our goal."

"I see." My skin crawled at his comment. "Well. Thanks for the opportunity anyway." I gripped the strap to my bag again and backed toward the door, hoping not to activate attack mode in him. "I'm going to go."

"No." His voice was quick and low.

"Look. With everything going on with me, I'm not ok all the time. But I'm also not going to let someone tell me I can't talk to my friends or do whatever. So. Again, thank you for the opportunity but I must decline." My heart raced, threatening to jump through my back. This man would be the first to kill me for rejection. There wasn't a doubt about it. Would anyone hear me scream? Probably not. I don't have the voice for it.

"Forget what I've said," he said.

I paused with my hand on the doorknob. "What? So easily?"

"I only want you to take this seriously, Melody. People would dissuade you from this. Do not throw away a chance to find your happiness, peace, your voice. Your place in this world. Not for anyone. Nor some unworthy, self-titled viper."

Nearly speechless, I blinked hard and looked off in the distance. "Are you talking about Philippe de Chagny?"

"Snakes spill lies while they crush their prey, Melody. I know his kind. He would take you from here and chain you to a life of servitude. No matter the dreams rolling down your face at such an empty life. All while your friends would support such matters because it is what is done."

Was he jealous? No… Oh no. I was not dealing with this shit. I won't. This was already a gamble at best, but this was going to end badly.

Jealousy is a terrible thing if not checked. And no way Erique's going to do that.

Didn't matter that he was right.

"Ok. That was really random. Philippe's not even a friend. So that's not an issue. And I already told you, I'm trying to go home. That's the most important thing. But also," my hands trembled, "You nor anyone else is going to tell me who I can't and can see. or befriend. So, I'm just going to leave. Because…"

"Alright," he said quickly, yet sternly. "I have heard you. I have no right to demand these things of you."

My mind told me to run. To get the fuck out of there. That it was only going to get worse.

But he sounded so sincere. Words that have only ever brought me misery in the past.

Go. Go, dumbass.

"Come. Please." His voice soft as it had been the night before. I hated that I trusted it already. "Now, we will warm up."

I hesitated only a few moments until I inched towards the stand, removing my bag and setting it at the base.

It'd been so long since I'd seen sheet music. Scales and simple songs were stacked neatly one in front of the other.

Memories of school band trips and goofing around in class came to mind. Faces I hadn't seen since graduation. All those years.

"I will strike a key and I want you to match the note as best you can. Do not strain yourself. Stop when you can no longer reach them. Do you understand?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, focusing a little too hard on the first note and trying to figure out what was happening inside me.

"Relax, dear. Breathe."

I took a deep breath and off we went.

It felt good to even do scales. I followed every note he struck, praying that it was even close to what I heard in my head.

Several minutes passed until he stopped.

"You can find notes," he said, almost surprised. "So, you're not a complete loss after all." My jaw dropped. The audacity that he spoke the truth. "You're too much in your throat. Bring it up and out. Almost as if you are trying to sing through your nose. For now," he finished.

"That's a very odd...How?" I stopped and blew through my nose as well as trying to make a sound. "Ok, I'll try."

We went on for a while. I tried to replicate the notes he played. I relaxed the further we got into the lesson. It was nice to have a teacher that was both critical and praising.

It didn't stop me from trying to see into the dark. I knew where he sat. I could hear the pings from the keys. I just wanted to see his eyes.

Melody…" he scorned at my not so sneaky attempt. "Now, again."

The lesson went on for a while longer. More scales and direction from Erique on how to move my jaw and where to redirect sound and breathing.

"You need much work still, but you will get there in time," he said. "How do you feel?"

"A little sore. But, really good actually."

"Good. Now, behind the sheets and folder, there is something for you."

At the back of the stack of papers, wrapped in red ribbon was a folder.

I took the ribbon off and opened it up.

Blank pages.

"So that you may write when you're feeling down. Or joyful or what have you."

He had to have known I was on my last sheets of paper. I was really going to need a new lock on my door better or something.

It still moved me in an unexpected way though. Twice he'd given me a gift, something I needed. I couldn't remember the last time someone gave me something other than depression. "Thank you. I was in need. But I'm sure you already knew that."

Ignoring my accusation he said, "Now, open the folder that was in front of that."

After placing the papers in my bag, I returned to the stand. Behind the stack of sheets there was a yellowed folder with a leather strip wound around a button with calligraphy styled writing inked on the front.

"Oh! I know this one. Marriage of Figaro by Mozart. I mean I don't know the whole thing. Or words. But I know of it, I guess."

In an attempt to hide the reddening in my cheeks, I dropped my head. Every time I opened my mouth, I felt stupid. For someone that knew so much, only because of the time I grew up in, I knew nothing that mattered.

I sifted through the pages, noticing it was too thin to be a full opera. The show was like four hours long. This was only one of the scenes from it.

" Vio che Sapete ," he said.

"This is in Italian. I'm struggling with French as it is."

"You will do well," he reassured me.

I set the folder down a little roughly. "That's extremely presumptuous of you, Erique. I don't know this piece, but I can already tell this is too big for me."

"Would you like to hear it?" he asked.

I tried to hide the sudden excitement I felt at his offer. "You want to sing for me?" There's no way I was going to be able to sing this ever, but I'll be damned if I was going to turn down a man singing for me. This was one fantasy I was going to actually experience. "Yes. Please!"

The piano came to life once again. This time with music instead of tired scales.

The piece was light, almost bubbly. The last thing I expected.

My soul froze in place as he sang. Within the first few measures, I couldn't stop my eyes from welling up or my hands clenching the stand to keep me upright.

The voice that I'd imagined so many times, failed in comparison to what he projected. Erique was a siren.

Even in lightness, it was devastating. The power of it wrapped itself around me, encapsulating my body like a cocoon and snaked its way through every bit of me that it could find.

Heat filled my cheeks and pulsing aches called out from between my thighs. I may have been smart enough to understand what was happening, but even I was having a hard time fighting it.

Then it stopped, and I nearly whimpered at the silence.

I wiped the trail left by a tear and giggled a bit on edge. "I had no idea you would sing like that. What a dirty rotten trick."

"How did you think I would sound?"

"Not like that. Maybe more like Lorenzo."

"He is good." There was a smugness to his response. He knew he was better.

A moment passed long enough for me to collect myself.

I wanted to stay as long as I could, get him to sing again. What if this was the last night I was here? This could be something I carried with me always. That and his book.

"I must leave. We will meet again tomorrow after your work has ended for the day," he said.

"Oh. Uh. Yes. Sure. It's late."

I grabbed my bag and turned to go, hesitating. "You wouldn't want to read again with me, would you?" I pulled the book from my bag. "We're almost done."

"I would like nothing more, but unfortunately I must go this evening."

"Ok. Yeah. No problem," I said.

"Good night, dear Melody. You did well."

"Goodnight, Erique."