Chapter 6 - Victoria

Victoria

O f all the ways I’d pictured my Sunday afternoon going, driving along the coast with Xavier Maddox was not one of them.

But here we are.

All things being equal, I’m still sort of shocked he showed up at the fundraiser last night. There’s so much more explaining he has to do. With the way we operate though, I’m not surprised.

We have a habit of fucking first and talking later. True, last night is on me. I let him off the hook. I wanted to indulge in my fantasy of having sex in public. It was more mind-blowing than I expected and I have zero regrets. Besides, he has a full three weeks’ worth of apologizing to complete.

“You should let me drive.” Xavier’s silky voice filled the car. “I’ll get us wherever we’re going much faster.”

My response was to press down on the accelerator. The engine rumbled as the car picked up speed.

“This fast enough for you?”

“Maybe.” He squeezed my thigh. “Where are we going?”

“Just a little spot on the beach. It’s a private area for residents only.”

The warmth of his hand trailed under the hem of my sundress. His touch was casual but possessive, sending a pleasurable shiver down my spine.

“You have a house here?”

“No. I sold it years ago but the couple who bought it still let me use their private entrance to the beach.” I glanced at him for a second. “My dad helped with their investments. They’ve been family friends forever. I always thought they let me use it out of pity but…” I shrugged, turning down the street toward another house I haven’t seen in a long time.

Fortunately, I could park away from the house on a small section of the long driveway. A nearby path led to the water. I grabbed a blanket from the backseat and guided Xavier, listening as the sound of the waves crashing against the shore became louder and louder. When we finally reached the clearing I paused and took in the Atlantic.

Dark, powerful, majestic.

“You’re not going to toss me in there, are you?”

“Maybe. Why? Can’t swim?”

“I can swim just fine, city princess. Which way?”

I led him toward one of my favorite spots, laid out the blanket and sat near some grass covered dunes. The sun wasn’t at its full summer strength yet. Even though it beat down on us, it wasn’t unbearable.

Xavier stretched out on his back, lacing his hands behind his head. As hot as he looked in his tux at the event, he looked just as delicious in jeans and a t-shirt. I swear, the man could wear plastic bags and I’d drool.

Great. I’ve become that girl.

“What’s on your mind, love? We’re all by ourselves on this beautiful beach. You can tell me.” His sapphire eyes locked onto mine.

I replayed all the things I’ve wanted to say to him over the last three weeks in my head. All the confusion and annoyance. But I also didn’t want to create too much tension between us, especially after what we shared last night.

Balance. I needed to figure out the balance.

“Come here,” he said, gently pulling me down so I could nestle into him. I rested my head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat and inhaling his clean scent. Somehow it was even more intoxicating mixed with the salty ocean air.

“How long are you staying?”

“As long as it takes.”

“Don’t you have training and international matches to—”

“I said as long as it takes. If I have to fly back and forth every week, I will.” His answer came out low and rough, almost pained.

I propped myself up on an elbow, searching his face. It was neutral but his eyes always betrayed him. At least they did around me. Behind the tortured glow I saw his deep love and devotion.

And his fear.

Xavier’s expression flickered from indifferent to covetous. He sat up, pulling me onto his lap.

“Is this where the picture of you and your sister is from? The one on your birthday?”

“Sort of. We took it in the yard.” I motioned to my left. “The house is back that way.” I glanced at Xavier. “You don’t want to see it, do you?”

He smiled at whatever expression planted itself on my face. “No. Your aversion to your family’s houses has been duly noted.”

Relief flooded through me. I would have shown him if he’d asked but I’d rather not walk down memory lane if given the choice. Sitting on the beach in his lap seemed like a much better option. Part of me feared this was all an elaborate dream and I’d wake up alone and miserable.

“I stopped by your cottage the other day.”

My lips parted in surprise. “Really? Why?”

The warmth of his hands bled through my clothes when he slid them around my waist, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. “I wanted to feel close to you.”

My heart rate kicked up a notch. I’m not one to blush but I’ll be damned if my cheeks didn’t burn an obvious pink.

And the pièce du résistance? About a million butterflies (give or take) invaded my stomach.

Collecting myself on a breath I quipped, “I’m surprised it wasn’t to toss the gold couch in the garbage.”

“That’s still a possibility,” he drawled. “I actually sat on it, if you can believe that.”

“Wow.” I laughed. “Who are you and what have you done with the insufferably snobbish guy I met on the side of the road?”

My words hung in the air for a second before he laughed. The sound slid over me, rich and textured and sexy.

“Yeah, he’s…he’s been having a go of it lately.” Melancholy replaced the remnants of amusement filling the corners of his mouth. “I really did go there to feel closer to you.”

“Did it help?”

“More than you’ll ever know.”

That house caused me so much anxiety and stress. But it comforted him. The paradox floored me.

“I’m glad one of us likes being there.”

Several strands of hair blew in my face on a strong breeze. Xavier gently tucked them behind my ear. “You like being there, too. Otherwise you wouldn’t have fought so hard to keep it.”

Somehow, he always seemed to know, and see, the inherent truth behind my deflections.

“Don’t tell anyone.” I traced a finger along his mouth.

“You’ll have to kiss me to keep me quiet.”

My whole body erupted in goosebumps when his hands slid along my thighs. If not for the rhythmic pounding of the waves, it felt like we were isolated in our own private world.

I leaned closer. “If you insist.”

“I do.”

Xavier’s groan vibrated through me when his lips pressed to mine. He kissed me slow and lazy, our tongues swirling and exploring. I could kiss him like this all day.

“Talk to me,” he requested when he pulled away. “You must have more questions.” He rubbed his thumb along my jaw. Softly, just barely touching my skin, but it was enough to cloud my thoughts. He’s good at knowing how to break down my defenses.

“Haven’t lost your charm, Maddox.”

The crooked, dimpled smile I adore spread across his face. Of course, it was also tinged with the arrogance that makes it impossible for me not to be sucked into his intoxicating aura.

His thumb made another slow sweep over my jaw.

No sense in delaying this any longer.

“What happened while you were in England?”

“Nothing you need to worry about.” His answer chilled the warm, ocean breeze.

“ Something must have happened. You were gone for—”

“I know, I know,” he cut in, tightening his grip on me. “Shit. I— Okay. Just…don’t hate me.”

“Drama never did suit you.” I reached for his hand and placed it over my heart. “The whole honesty thing is still in effect.”

He exhaled, toying with the silver chain around my neck. The ring he’d given me before going back to London dangled from it.

“I had a few run-ins with Jordan.”

“I’m not surprised.” I responded with ease while my pulse raced.

An eyebrow arched. “You’re not?”

“Well…I mean…a little but…” I struggled to find the right words. “The night we read the diary I thought you were going to commandeer an army and charge into battle. I’ve never seen a person get so angry. What happened?”

A scowl marred his sexy mouth. “We got into a bit of a fight. I knocked him out.”

My shoulders slumped. “You what?”

Xavier’s expression soured. “I fucking knocked him out. If you’d been there, you’d understand why.”

“Please don’t do that,” I said quietly. “I don’t think I can handle it if someone else I love gets hurt because of him.” I glanced at the jagged scar above his left eye. “Did he hurt you?”

Regret passed over Xavier’s face so fast I almost missed it.

“No.” He leaned forward to rest his forehead on mine and continued his gentle strokes along my jaw. A slight restlessness moved through him. “But it’s probably why he came to Manhattan. I didn’t mean to put you directly in harm’s way.”

“You didn’t. He would have found me anyway.”

His entire body stiffened in my embrace. The sweet caresses stopped, replaced by firm pressure sinking into my skin. When his eyes met mine I struggled to find my next breath. Everything around us buzzed and crackled with an undercurrent of danger.

Nerves got the best of me and I kept talking.

“I can handle myself. It’s not like he cornered me in a dark alley. He was just being an asshole.”

“Just being an asshole.” Xavier’s lazy repetition of my words sent a shiver through me.

Something about his demeanor gave me pause. Like I’d approached a vault of secrets that was fortified with a lock no master thief could ever crack.

“What aren’t you saying?” The question tumbled out against my better judgement, intensifying the crackling hum in the air.

The whisper-light touch of his hands on my skin did nothing to calm the erratic beating of my heart. But the way he looked at me…

Xavier’s eyes darkened until the pupils swallowed all but the slimmest edge of sapphire.

“The thought of you being hurt or upset angers me in ways I didn’t know existed. All that matters to me is you . All I think about, all I see, all I feel, is you .” The velvet softness of his touch belied the cruel edge to his tone. “I will risk everything, Victoria. I will fucking destroy him if he comes near you again. I’ve never felt like this before, and I’ve never been more terrified of what I could lose.”

Every word spiked my adrenaline until my heart beat so fast I feared it would burst. I might not know exactly what happened while he’s been away but it pierced him to the core.

As though he could read my thoughts, Xavier’s expression softened. Delicate, sensual strokes continued on my arms.

He apologized so softly I thought I imagined it.

“Is that all that happened?” I asked gently.

His fingers pressed into my arms. “I went after him again at Bennet’s.”

“Bennet’s?” My jaw dropped. “Why was he there?”

“I don’t know.” A pained expression washed over his handsome features. I’m not used to this level of vulnerability coming from him.

…never been more terrified of what I could lose…

Discomfort seized hold of me. My sister lost her life when she put herself between me and Jordan. I didn’t want to think about what Xavier could lose.

Silence stretched between us for several agonizing minutes. If not for the warmth of his touch on my skin, I’d have mistaken him for a statue.

“Still feeling okay about what we did last night?”

His question surprised me.

I caught his eye before answering. “Of course. Why? Do you have regrets?”

Both his eyebrows arched. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t ask me that. Especially since I can still taste you on my tongue.”

A rush of desire sped down my spine. Visions of our encounter on the terrace flashed through my memory. The roughness of his voice, the way his touch seared through my dress, the feel of his mouth.

There will never be a moment when I’m not affected by him. It’s like I’m seeing him for the first time all over again. Beneath his tattooed, bad-boyish, arrogant exterior lies a heart so warm and giving I often catch myself wondering what I did to deserve his affection.

Liquid warmth pooled in my stomach. Every inch of my body became a hypersensitive nerve-ending.

Those hypnotic blue eyes flared. The tip of his tongue slid along his lower lip, savoring the secret that thrilled him to no end. He knew exactly what he did to me, and he relished in it.

“You’re not angry with me anymore,” he stated with a little too much confidence. “No more apologizing for me then.”

Looks like Xavier the Charmer has entered the chat.

“Irritated,” I corrected. “I’m irritated. One night hasn’t erased that. Your apology tour won’t end until I say it does.”

“How many nights will it take?”

“Until you bring me to every balcony in Manhattan.”

For someone as skilled as I am in media relations, I have the worst track record with failing to keep my inside thoughts on the actual inside around him.

His bemused expression morphed into something more wicked.

“Is that what you want?” Each word came out slow and deliberate. “My so-called apology tour to be me fucking you on every open air terrace in the city?”

The intended effect was immediate. Nothing else existed in this space except for unspoken promises, electricity, and anticipation.

When my eyelids fluttered, the rest of the world fell away except for him. The alleged balance I attempted to achieve flung itself out the window. How can I maintain any balance around this guy?

“Are you taking suggestions?” What am I saying?

“I’m listening.”

I felt myself flush with anticipation. The sly grin on his face grew wider and more crooked when he saw it. Good to see our game of cause and effect was alive and well.

Okay, fine. I did have suggestions. While he slept like royalty in my bed last night, I laid there wide awake letting my fantasies run wild. The darker ones .

But now wasn’t the time to indulge in fantasies.

“Tori.” His eyes glinted with the soft glow of danger. “Tell me.”

This stare could have melted the polar ice caps.

Okay, let’s play.

“The first one is pretty tame. I want us to go away for a few days. Somewhere that has weak cell phone service. I really want us to disconnect from the outside world.”

“Sounds doable. What else?”

I shook my head. “Maybe this isn’t the right—”

“Tell. Me.” The forbidden, dark edge to his tone sizzled through my veins.

I missed this tone. Judging by the look on his face, he did too.

The rarely used practical side of me emerged and waved a tiny caution flag. Slow down. Keep your head on straight .

“I want you to lose yourself with me,” I blurted.

Nice one, Chase. Very practical.

Confusion clouded his features.

“More than you already do,” I amended, trailing my fingers down his chest. “I want to see you really come undone. Lose control. Be rougher with me. Don’t stop yourself when—”

His hand clamped around my throat. I gasped in surprise, panicking for only a second.

“Rougher. Like this?” His soft, rumbled warning vibrated through my body.

Words failed me. All I could do was stare at him and feel his possessive grip.

“Yes?” His fingers tightened slightly. “Or no?”

My reply fought its way out. “Yes.”

A veil I didn’t know existed slid from his face. An unfamiliar darkness filled his eyes.

“Yes, what ?”

Every last bit of oxygen disappeared from my lungs.

The animalistic stare he pinned on me while flexing his hand around my neck didn’t frighten me at all. It had the opposite effect. My arousal heightened, my pulse raced, and it all went to the heat throbbing between my legs.

“Yes, what ?” he repeated, his tone razor sharp.

“ Please .” I barely got the word out. “Yes, please. I want you raw and untamed. Always.”

I loved how dangerous and feral he looked. The way his mouth parted in ecstasy. The absolute focus on me and nothing else.

“You should be careful what you wish for, love.”

A violent shiver streaked through him when I put my hand around his and squeezed.

“You are what I wish for.”

In an instant, the mysterious veil snapped back into place. The warmth and strength of his hand disappeared from my neck, leaving me flustered and a tad bit annoyed.

“What else?” His low growl and cold stare made me shudder.

Words, yet again, failed me. I swallowed, relishing the slight discomfort in my throat. “Maybe that’s enough for—”

“Tell me.”

Our eyes locked. I wanted to tell him. I really did. But there are too many other fucking issues we need to resolve right now. Pushing our boundaries and limits can wait.

“I will. I just—” I exhaled in frustration. “You know how we are. We can’t control ourselves when we’re together. It’s hard for me to stay focused around you. We have some real shit to work through and talk about and I can’t when you’re sitting here with that…and the…and you’re so…well, look at you.”

His answering smile was all lazy charm and amusement.

Not helping.

Neither was the slow, deliberate slide of his hands along my thighs, up the curve of my hips to my waist.

“Are you objectifying me, Chase?”

“Maybe.”

“You know how I feel about maybes.”

“Oh yeah. Totally. Big, bad Xavier Maddox and his lifelong beef with the word maybe .”

Warmth crept back into his eyes, replacing the strained distance that dominated them moments ago. His laugh wound through me like warm caramel.

“You still like wearing this?” He traced the silver chain around my neck, stopping at the ring.

“I love wearing it.”

Something about the way he smiled when the sun hit his face and hair made him appear almost angelic, which was hilarious because Xavier was as devilish as they come.

Devilish. Sexy. Arrogant. Possessive.

Mine .

All of him. Just as all of me was his.

A content sigh rolled through his body. I rested my forehead to his, gently running my nails up and down his back. We slowly molded our bodies together in a sweet embrace and sat without saying a word for quite a while. Only the seagulls and the ocean provided a serene ambient soundtrack.

“You should stay with me while you’re here.”

Oh my God. The lack of control I have over my own mouth is astonishing.

“Yeah?” He leaned back to look at me. “That’s awfully forward of you.”

I shrugged. “Or you can waste your money staying alone at a hotel. Up to you.”

The subtle etched lines fanning from his eyes when he laughed reignited the flurry of butterflies in my stomach. Yes, he was devilish and all of those other things but he was also beautiful and gentle and made me feel emotions I thought I’d locked away permanently.

“I would love nothing more than to spend every possible moment with you. Fall asleep next to you. Wake up with you in my arms. For as long as you’ll have me.”

I melted. For as long as I’ll have him?

That’s easy.

Forever, please .