Chapter 5 - Xavier

Xavier

F riday’s training proved to be more challenging than I anticipated. I thought I covered it well but Cade noticed. He pestered me until I agreed to grab a leisurely dinner with him before retiring to our hotel rooms.

“Mate, in four days I’ll be laying on the sand in Dubai enjoying the scenery.” Cade waggled his eyebrows at me. “Are you sure you don’t want to join me?”

“Quite sure, thanks.”

“You’re going to stay here? In this cloudy, drizzly city? You’ve not been yourself since…well, you know. Give yourself a break. It’s the off-season. Live a little.”

I pushed the food around on my plate. “I’m going to see Victoria.”

Cade’s eyes practically bugged out of his sockets. “That’s great,” he exclaimed. “You finally pulled your head out of your ass.”

I fought an urge to throw my napkin at him.

“Is Victoria happy you’re going? She must be buzzing.”

“She doesn’t know.”

“Why not?” He sounded incredulous. “You’ve been wallowing in misery for days.” He knocked on the table for emphasis. “Weeks. Reckon you’d have called her for a naughty video chat to celebrate.”

This time I did throw my napkin at him. He just laughed in his unaffected way.

“C’mon Maddox. This nonsense with McKennie really got you down. I’ve never seen you like this.” Cade’s voice lowered. “I know you hate when I say this shit, but I’ve been worried about you.”

I rubbed my eyes. “I know. Thanks, mate.”

“Wow. An actual acknowledgment.” Cade sat back in the chair. “I’ll have to mark this down.” He made a sweeping gesture with his arm. “Xavier Maddox, Somewhat Moody Goalkeeper, Appreciates Cade Gallagher, Best Striker in the World.”

“ Best is a lofty title for a striker who hit the post twice at our last match.”

“Arse,” he snickered. “I did land that beauty of a free kick though.”

“That’s because Liverpool’s keeper didn’t react fast enough.”

“For fuck’s sake,” he laughed. “Give me a little credit.”

I laughed with him. Cade is always good for bringing some levity to any situation.

“Seriously though.” His solemn tone gave me pause. “I remember what happened the last time Jordan interfered in your relationship.” My muscles tensed. “You got blinded by revenge and—”

“Drop it, Cade.”

“No. I realize you hear it from Logan almost daily but you’ve worked too fucking hard to get yourself right. Victoria is an amazing woman. Create a future with her. Don’t burn down the past just because you think you can.”

For a guy who walks through life like it’s one giant red carpet, Cade does have his moments of deep reflection. He’s not wrong. I should focus on creating a future with Victoria, not going scorched earth on Jordan.

Watching him burn is tempting though .

Our conversation soon shifted to more light-hearted topics. Cade mostly rambled on and on about what he planned to do in Dubai, Spain, and Greece.

“Vegas will be my final stop,” he told me. “If you’re still in Manhattan, let me know. I’ll come crash your romantic escapades. Or maybe catch up with those American football players. We all got on really well after our match at that bar.”

Catching up with Noah fucking Tate or Tre fucking Gideon was not going to happen.

“I’d rather peel grapes.”

“Lighten up, Maddox.”

Cade continued talking as we settled the check and walked back to the hotel. Being around him tonight helped get my mind back where it belonged.

We did have a trophy to win after all.

He walked backwards out of the elevator, spreading his arms wide. “Tomorrow at this time we’ll be champions.”

“Yes we will,” I grinned. “See you on the pitch.”

My hotel room was down the hall from Bennet’s. I wasn’t too surprised when I heard his voice through the door when I walked by.

He’s probably on the phone with either his dad or Hannah. I paused to listen and thought I heard something that sounded like a muffled are you close .

I know he likes to play with Hannah when they’re on a call. I stepped away and went to my room.

After showering and settling on the bed, I grabbed my phone.

Time to put my plan in motion.

Me: Need a huge favor. Please

I leaned my head back, wondering if I’d get a reply. After a few minutes passed, I turned on the TV hoping to occupy my mind. Reruns of an old American sitcom played back to back. I stared at it, not paying even the slightest amount of attention. Now I get why Victoria paces around in circles when she’s stressed.

My phone vibrated, sending a wave of anxiety through me.

Killian: Why do you think I’ll help

Me: I’m coming to Manhattan

Max: About time

Killian: What do you want

This is going to be rough.

Me: I’d like to see her. Do you know if she has plans tomorrow night?

Max: We might be going to a fundraiser

Killian: If you think I’m going to let you see her, you’re high

My heart sank. Maybe this wasn’t the smartest way to go about it.

Me: Sorry to bother you

I tossed the phone on the bed and scrubbed my hands over my face. Not sure why I expected them to jump at the chance to help. Killian is her best friend and fiercest protector. He probably dislikes me more than she does at this point. Max seemed to play the role of mediator but would most likely side with his partner.

I shut off the TV and tried to get some sleep. After staring into the darkness for what felt like hours, my phone vibrated again.

Max: If you really want to see her, I’ll work on Killian

Me: I do

Max: Give me some time. Don’t expect miracles

A little piece of hope was all I needed.

The final match of the season went exactly as planned on Saturday. We won (obviously) giving the club another league championship. Back-to-back, for anyone out there keeping score.

I recorded my twentieth clean sheet of the season and was named Goalkeeper of the Year.

Winning never gets old. Neither does the cheering or the accolades or the adoration. I fucking love it and will never get enough.

Victoria texted me after the match ended. She sent a photo of her TV screen with the message I’m so proud of you .

She must be just as desperate as I am for the smallest bit of connection.

I’d heard from Killian and Max at halftime. Fingers crossed all the texts would lead to the outcome I wanted. It took a mountain of convincing on my part, but I think I managed to get them in my corner for now.

The plan was for me to meet them at the fundraiser at nine. I made those two swear to secrecy and had to trust they’d do this one little thing for me.

After I completed all my post-match interviews, I showered, tossed all my clothes in my travel bag and went to the airport. My nerves didn’t settle until we were about an hour into the flight.

“Hey.” Bennet’s serious tone gave me pause.

I looked over at him.

Oh shit.

His grim expression didn’t help.

“Before I say this, I’d like to remind you we’re on an airplane over the Atlantic. Don’t do anything crazy like try to open a door.”

Panic set in. I clutched the armrest and said as evenly as I could, “What happened?”

“Jordan confronted Victoria in Manhattan last night.” His eyes widened at whatever expression burned itself on my face. “He pretended to be some guy from Missouri. She’s fine. He only talked to her. Hannah was able to get rid of him when she found her.”

Way too many fucking thoughts ran rampant through my mind. “Where? Why was she alone? How did Hannah manage to find her?”

Bennet ignored my concerns. “When you see her tonight, don’t be surprised if she asks you some tough questions.”

My heart nearly stopped. “Tough how?”

“According to Hannah, Jordan said a lot of shitty things about you.”

“What things ?”

“I don’t know. Victoria didn’t get into specifics with her.”

Unbridled rage turned my vision to static. If I’d only pictured killing him before, now I’d make sure Jordan took his last breath the next time I saw him.

“Did you find out about this during the match?”

Bennet didn’t answer straight away, which riled me up even more.

“I’m waiting, Logan.”

“Last night,” he finally admitted. “I talked to Victoria after it happened.”

He stiffened against the seat when I stood up.

“What did you say to her?” Venom razored my every word.

“Sit down, mate,” he said as tactful as a diplomat negotiating a treaty. Fear, anger, and impatience pounded behind my eyes. But I sat, because honestly what the fuck else could I do trapped in this flying tin can?

“She wanted to talk to you.” Bennet’s expression softened. “I told her I needed you focused for today. I wasn’t wrong about that. You would have buggered off and flown to her the second you knew.”

“Of course I would have,” I shouted, almost pulling the armrest off this chair. “Fuck the match. Don’t you ever stand in the way of her and I again.”

Bennet wisely kept his mouth shut.

The flight to Manhattan dragged on. When we finally landed and arrived at the hotel, I changed into my tuxedo and hightailed it to the event.

Killian and Max were waiting for me in the lobby.

They looked annoyed.

Great.

I could tell Killian wanted to give me a piece of his mind. I’d let him at some point, but right now I needed to see Victoria.

“She’s out on the terrace,” he told me.

I turned to walk away.

“Not so fast. First I’m going to give you some unsolicited advice.”

Fuck.

Exhaling slow, I clasped my hands behind my back and nodded.

“She’ll see right through your bullshit. Be honest with her and don’t rush anything.” Killian narrowed his eyes. “I love her like family. If I ever see her go through what you put her through these last few weeks again, I’ll rip your fucking heart out.”

Not many people could talk to me this way and walk away unscathed. But Killian loved her as much as I did. Maybe even more.

“You have my word,” I vowed.

Maxim cleared his throat. “We like you, Xavier. We want this to work for you guys. But much like Killian said, if you hurt her again—”

“You’ll rip my heart out?” I interrupted, flashing a smile that accentuated the trademark Maddox dimple. If now isn’t the perfect time to charm my way out of a situation, when is?

“No,” he scowled. “I’ll take a sledgehammer to your hands. Can’t be a world-famous goalkeeper if your hands are broken.”

Jesus Christ .

“Point taken.” I swallowed, ready to bolt for the exit. “She’s on the terrace, yeah?”

Killian nodded. “Silver silk dress. Probably nursing a martini.”

We stood in awkward silence for a few seconds.

I didn’t know if I should thank them or just leave, so I left. Maybe this reunion won’t go as well as I’d hoped.

The closer my strides took me to the terrace, the more nervous I became. That’s weird for me since I never get nervous around women. But Victoria isn’t just any woman.

She challenges me, sees me, loves me at my worst. That last bit is debatable since I haven’t been the greatest of boyfriends lately. I let rage blind my actions and it ended up hurting her even more. I’d be lucky if she didn’t break up with me on the spot.

We’ll just talk. No sex. Maybe a hug if she’ll let me. I won’t do anything an actual gentleman wouldn’t do. She’ll like that, right?

Yes.

Well, no.

I choose to play rough. I choose to be spanked, bitten, grabbed, tied up, used in public, used in private. I choose all of it because I choose you. All of you.

Her words from our last night together had imprinted onto the deepest, darkest parts of me. I wanted to do things with her, and to her, I’ve suppressed for years.

Not tonight.

Tonight I only wanted her forgiveness. Ironic, since I’d dismissed the whole forgive myself thing Dr. Frances suggested.

Great. Now I’m thinking about my therapist as I’m trying to find my girlfriend.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and followed a handful of other guests outside. They walked toward a section overflowing with trees and seasonal plants. I doubt she’d be there. It was such a pleasant night, I bet she found a spot to admire the city.

Another couple strolled toward a hightop table nestled to my left. I kept moving forward until I noticed a small table almost hidden from view. It was flanked by decorative trees and an ivy-covered wall.

When I slowed down and paused behind the redhead in a silver silk gown, my heart felt at peace for the first time in weeks. Her shoulders slumped a little when she tugged an olive off the skewer into her mouth.

She was indeed nursing a martini.

I lowered my gaze, savoring the slit climbing her left leg, exposing her smooth thigh. Lust pulsed through me.

Mine . If she’ll still have me .

I relaxed my stance and said, “So, Victoria is it?”