Chapter 26 - Victoria

Victoria

T he only thing I do know without question is I am undeniably in love with you. Nothing else matters.

Xavier’s words echoed in my head all day, including when I met the boys for dinner. Killian rambled on and on about his new job and meeting Jesse Rollins.

“He’s so nice ,” Killian gushed. “And, like, a regular person. Not some me, me, me celebrity. So refreshing.”

“I think we lost our audience,” Maxim teased, nudging my foot under the table. “Are you okay, Victoria?”

I reached for a piece of bread and smiled. “I’m good. Hungry, tired, the usual.”

“How’s Xavier?” Max’s dark eyes glinted in the candlelight.

Stressed, exhausted, ready to burn down the world for me . “He’s good.”

The boys shared a knowing glance. Both of them knew when I didn’t reveal the entire truth. For some odd reason, they didn’t gang up on me this time and let my non-answer slide.

“We have something exciting we want to tell you.” Killian put his hand on Max’s. “We’re doing the thing.”

“The thing?” I started to bite into the bread, paused, and pulled it out of my mouth. “Oh my God. The thing ?” My heart leapt into my throat. “You’re getting married? For real?”

“One hundred percent for real.”

“Oh Killian.” Tears filled my eyes. “When? Where?”

“New Year’s Eve. Right here in Manhattan.”

People seated at the tables near us stared at me when I squealed and jumped up to hug them. Happiness isn’t a strong enough word to express how I felt. Killian and Max have been together nearly six years and always hinted at marriage but kept putting it off.

“What changed?” I asked, kissing each one of them on the cheek before returning to my seat.

“We wanted to get ours out of the way so yours could be front and center on all the society pages.” Killian’s smart ass grin glowed in the dim lighting.

“I’m not engaged.” I calmly sipped some wine. “I don’t plan to be any time soon.”

Both of them snickered. I loved them to pieces but come on. Marriage was the furthest thing from my mind these days.

“Keep telling yourself that, baby girl. The public is obsessed with you two. How many followers do you have now?”

Two hundred thousand . “Good thing I don’t equate my self-worth with the number of people who follow me on social media.”

“That many, huh?” His gray eyes sparkled. “My branding services are available to you at the family and friends discount. Just saying.”

Max elbowed him. “Leave her alone.”

Dinner with the boys was just what I needed. I even tried to get Hannah to come out with us. Her polite refusal didn’t surprise me. She’d been quieter than usual lately. Then again, I ran out of the stadium like my ass was on fire after the post- game presser last night without saying a word to her. I made a mental note to schedule a girls’ night before the home opener. Or maybe a spa day.

“Oh!” I exclaimed. “Let me see the ring. Or rings.”

I glanced at their hands. A silver ring glinted against Max’s dark skin. Killian propped his hand up because if there’s anyone who loves to be the center of attention as much as Xavier, it’s Killian. He wiggled his fingers, showing off a ring with a thin row of glittering diamonds.

“Platinum?” I asked.

“Of course.”

“Do you mind if I splash it all over social media?”

“Sweetie, I’d be pissed if you didn’t.” Killian slung his arm over Max’s shoulders and smiled.

They are, without question, the most attractive couple I’ve ever seen.

Killian flagged down our server so I could be in a photo with them. By this time, several tables surrounding ours lifted a glass of wine or water or whatever they were drinking in celebration. I posted the photos with the caption My loves are getting married . No need to be pithy when the truth is way better. Within a few minutes, an incoming text chimed.

Mildly Hot: Tell the lads I said well done

Mildly Hot: And tell Killian my heart is broken beyond repair

“The fact that you still have him in your phone as Mildly Hot is hilarious and ridiculous.” Killian’s infectious laugh filled me with warmth. “Let Xavier know Max is willing to share.”

“Uh, no he’s not.” Max arched an eyebrow.

“Neither am I.” I flashed my best friend a smug smile. “Xavier’s all mine, sweetie .”

“Look at those claws. Get it girl.”

Once we ordered and the food arrived we were knee deep in wedding talk. I haven’t had much to look forward to this year outside of work. Ending it with my best friend’s wedding could be the perfect remedy to the muddled chaos that’s been following me around since, well, since forever it feels like.

“And then after the wedding, we’ll be ready to go with Charlotte’s foundation.” Killian squeezed my hand. “Tracey and I just need to get Hannah’s signature. Her family has been beyond generous.”

The Caldwells offered to donate a sizable amount of money to help get the foundation off the ground. As grateful as I was to them, I insisted on providing most of the financial support.

We’d finalized which animal shelters and mental health clinics will receive the first grants. Our inaugural event next spring will be the big reveal for everyone.

“I have a couple of meetings lined up with potential donors,” I said, clasping his hand in mine. “Thank you both for all the work you’ve done so far.”

“Have you told your parents about it yet?”

“I’ll tell my dad now that the name is official.” I frowned. “I doubt my mother would care. She’ll probably say it’s an extravagant way for me to avoid taking responsibility for—”

“Enough.” Killian’s sharp tone startled me. The people at surrounding tables glanced in our direction. “Helena has her own shit to work through. You are not responsible for anything. Tell the voices in your head to shut the fuck up.”

Heavy tension clouded our otherwise enjoyable dinner. Killian was right though. One of these days I’ll silence the nagging, accusatory inner monologue that’s plagued me since Charlotte took her own life.

“What name did you decide to use?” Max’s tentative question sifted through the unpleasantness.

I sipped some water before answering. “The Seraphim Rising Foundation.”

Max propped his chin on his hand, regarding me curiously. “What does seraphim mean?”

“It means…” I paused. “Well, I’ve seen several definitions for it but my favorite is fiery ones . Traditionally, Seraphim are red-winged angels. You know the tattoo I have? The twin phoenix feathers made from flames? A version of that will be the logo. I thought it would all tie in nicely.” I caught Max’s eye. “I guess you could say the meaning is really only significant to me. Always trying to rise from the ashes.”

The boys remained quiet for a few seconds.

“I like it,” Max finally said. “I know your sister would like it too. You’re a smart one, Victoria. You never cease to amaze me.”

Killian’s eyes widened. I could tell he was ready to fire off a sarcastic remark. “Don’t encourage her, Max. She loves to show off her Ivy League education to us regular university kids.”

“Maybe if you cracked a book open once in a while, your vocabulary would expand beyond like, follow, and share .”

Killian raised his middle finger and blew a kiss. I couldn’t hold back my laughter when I mimicked his gesture.

“I’m marrying into this. Voluntarily.” Max rubbed his eyes.

An incoming text disrupted us.

Unknown: No grass, but there was touching

An uncomfortable shiver passed through me. Ignoring it, I put the phone down and leaned back into our conversation.

“Someone just got a dirty message from their hot boyfriend.” Killian folded his hands. “What did he say?”

Think, Victoria, think .

My day job is all about staying on message and talking points and controlling the conversation.

“Nothing.”

“Liar.” My best friend eyed me with suspicion. “Is something wrong? You’ve been acting strange since last night. Don’t hide shit from me again.”

I winced.

I’d been less than upfront with Killian about some things over the summer. Namely what I’d read in my twin’s final diary entry. Not telling him what Charlotte had done all those years ago tore me up inside. Keeping it from him for as long as I did consumed me with guilt. When I finally sat him down for that conversation, we both had a good, long cry.

With that in mind, I resigned myself to coming clean. I told the boys about the text and the pictures and my unsuccessful search for any photographic evidence of me in a sparkly red dress.

The verbal diarrhea didn’t stop there. Why would it?

I also unleashed what happened last night with Xavier’s frantic call and the fight, plus being followed by a reporter in Paris and the encounter with that guy at the restaurant.

Once it was all out in the open, I leaned back into the chair and finished my glass of wine.

Two sets of eyes blinked at me in disbelief.

Killian started to say something and stopped. He gestured his hand at me, turned to Max, turned back to me, gestured again, and shook his head.

“I think what he’s trying so eloquently to say is, are you alright.” Max reached across the table and held my hand. “That’s…a lot.”

“I’m fine.”

The most annoying phrase in the English language. I’m fine . Yet, so powerful. It could shut down a conversation, piss off any number of people, or provide a generic response to the equally annoying and slightly disingenuous how are you we throw around at each other on a daily basis.

“Maybe it’s a good thing you still have a broad-shouldered shadow following you around.” Killian scanned the restaurant. “Is he here?”

“No. He’s off this weekend.”

“Off? Like, not working?”

“Yeah. I told him to take the weekend off. I don’t have any plans so—”

“No plans? Tori, we are literally out at dinner because we planned this.”

“Since when did you become a huge fan of me having a bodyguard?”

“I’m not a huge fan of it but maybe it’s a good idea.”

“Why do you sound so concerned?”

Killian’s eyes widened. “Did you not just hear yourself tell us all those things? He should be on the clock. Now.”

“ Why is everyone I know so overprotective?” I muttered. “I need to use the ladies’ room. And no, I do not need an escort.”

I balled up the napkin and dropped it on the table before walking toward the restrooms. Thankfully, I was the only person inside. Flattening my hands on the counter, I hung my head and exhaled slowly. As happy as I was for the boys, I needed a breather from them. Well, not so much Max. But anyway.

My exhausted reflection stared back at me in the mirror. Xavier’s call left me so unsettled. I barely slept after ending the video chat. He’d fallen asleep first. I did linger for a while, listening to his even breathing. I wanted to make sure he got some rest.

Various scenarios of me getting on a plane and flying to London played out in my mind. I could confront Jordan on my own. He’s a bully and an asshole, but not invincible. He must have a weakness. Everyone does.

My fingers wrapped around the ring hanging from my necklace. I can’t sit back and watch Xavier continue down this path of destruction. I have to do something.