Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

ANNE

A lexander led me to the dance floor, one hand on the small of my back. The dance opened with a pirouette. He took my hand, wrapping the other around my waist. We turned in a circle, his eyes locked on mine. The bruise on his cheek had lightened already, but it had spread into the side of his hairline. I wanted to take the opportunity to speak with him, but my voice felt useless as I focused on keeping my feet in motion.

“I haven’t had a chance to properly congratulate you,” he said, a soft smile on his lips. His eyebrows lifted. “I was shocked beyond words to learn what the prize was. I imagine your reaction was the same?” His breath brushed against my neck as the steps brought us closer, sending a shiver across my shoulder blades.

I took a moment to gather my thoughts. I had been expecting him to open the dance with an argument about how I shouldn’t trust Miles.

“I thought it was some sort of trick Lady Tottenham was playing on me.” I gave a quiet laugh. “I can hardly believe it’s true.”

His smile eased my nerves. “How do you feel? Are you happy? Overwhelmed?”

“Both.”

We stepped apart, then together, our hands and arms crossing in the air between us. He released one of my hands, and I turned slowly beneath his arm.

“It’s difficult to comprehend that this entire house will be mine one day.” I shook my head, sharing in his look of bewilderment. “I have been struggling to envision such a future for myself. I feel like it’s all a dream, and I might awake at any moment. I might be just like Lady Tottenham one day, hosting house parties and playing games in the parlor…it seems absurd.”

Alexander laughed. He lowered his voice, a teasing glint in his eyes. “And surely you will boast of your extensive taxidermy collection at every opportunity.”

A laugh bubbled out of my throat. “I confess that is my least favorite part of the inheritance.”

“Truly?” His brows shot upward. “Might I assume then that you would have no objection giving it to me?”

The music had built to a lively tempo. My smile felt uncontrollable as I took both Alexander’s hands for a rigadoon. “I would, but I’m afraid I cannot trust you to take proper care of the poor creatures. The pugilist can attest to my hesitation.”

He chuckled, his hand wrapping around my waist again. I felt the pressure of every finger. “That was an accident, of which you are just as much to blame,” he said in a low voice.

I scoffed. “How was I to blame?”

His eyes settled on my face. “Your smile is far too beautiful, and I was distracted.”

My heart leaped. My feet refused to finish the final steps of the dance. The final note of the violin rang out. Alexander bowed, and I curtsied. I felt the weight of many gazes on us. If the guests had read Lady Teignmouth, or rather—Lady Tottenham’s article, they would soon discover that Alexander was the man who was mentioned at the end of the narrative.

Before we had taken three steps away from the dance floor, a gentleman approached me, requesting my next dance. The same pattern continued until the start of the next, and the next, until all my dances were claimed. Somehow Miles ended up at my side between every set. He fetched me punch and water and anything he perceived that I needed. His constant presence at my side was sure to cause confusion among the visitors who assumed, because of the gossip article, that I was courting Alexander.

When I finished my last dance, I returned to my place on the outskirts of the floor. I fanned my face with one hand. Miles stepped up beside me. “Would you take a walk in the corridor with me? The temperature is much more tolerable there.”

I gave a quick nod, eager to escape the heat of the room. He extended his arm, leading me out the door. I told myself we wouldn’t venture past the refreshment table in order to remain well within sight of any passing guests. This was no longer Lady Tottenham’s house party. There wasn’t a lack of regard for common rules and propriety in the air tonight. If Miles and I were seen, the consequences could be dire.

“Where are we going?” I asked in a nervous whisper. He was leading me in the direction of the blue library. I practically dug my heels into the floor, stopping him as we turned the corner.

He moved to face me, his chest rising and falling with a deep breath. “I wanted to be alone with you.”

“I only needed a breath of fresh air.” I swallowed, glancing nervously over my shoulder. The corridor was empty. “I feel much improved. Let us return to the hexagon room.”

I started to turn, but Miles grabbed my wrist. “Wait—Anne. It hurt me to witness your uncertainty regarding me.”

The despair in his eyes stabbed at my heart. My pulse quickened. “I’m sorry if I have seemed uncertain, but my life has changed drastically in a matter of days. I have much to contend with. Your arrival was sudden and unexpected, and I haven’t had time to understand my feelings.”

He released my wrist, running his finger up and down my arm. His striking blue eyes captured mine. “That does make sense. However, I still want you to understand my feelings. I want you to understand how I adore you. I have traveled thousands of miles to be here with you.” His eyes traced over my features one by one, settling on my lips. “If that alone does not prove my devotion, I hope this will.” He took me by the waist with one hand, nudging my chin up with the other. I hardly had time to think before he was kissing me.

I froze, trapped between him and the wall behind me. My dreams of kissing Miles, of hearing him profess his love, had never felt like this . His lips, eager and harsh, reminded me of the baron’s. Panic set into my bones. I squirmed away, breaking the seal of our lips. My heart pounded against my ribs. “Miles!” I scolded in a breathless voice. I glanced over his shoulder. “Someone could have seen that.”

“I’m sorry.” He caressed my cheek. “I couldn’t help myself.”

I didn’t know how to respond. His gaze was light and dark at the same time. I didn’t feel safe. The incident that had forced me into my horrible marriage had started just like this.

A kiss in a dark corridor. Cold panic scratching over my spine. A man who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

He leaned down to kiss me again. I turned my face at the last second, and his kiss landed on my cheek. I struggled to move away as he trailed three forceful kisses down my neck. He backed me closer to the wall. “You are so beautiful.” He traced one finger over my collarbone before dipping his head down to kiss it.

“Miles, stop,” I demanded. I pushed against his chest, but he persisted, as if he thought I would eventually succumb to his advances. Anger surged inside me, but it was accompanied by a fresh wave of fear. I had experienced first-hand the damage that could come to one’s reputation by being kissed by a man in a dark corridor during a ball. I had taken the fall for Henrietta last time, but no one had saved me. I was on my own again. I gritted my teeth, pushing against him with all my might.

He flew backward, and for a moment, I thought my own strength had caused him to stumble. But then I saw Alexander with two handfuls of the back of Miles’s jacket.

“Did you not hear her?” he barked. “She told you to stop.”

Miles caught his balance before shoving hard against Alexander’s shoulders. He lunged forward. “What I do with Anne is none of your business,” he growled close to Alexander’s face.

“I’ve made it my business.”

Miles wore an amused smile, but anger still flashed behind his eyes. “You didn’t even know her a month ago, yet you have been acting like you have some possession over her! Try all you like to take what is mine. You’ve never succeeded.” He shoved Alexander hard in the chest.

A woman’s gasp came from near the refreshment table behind them. Alexander lowered his voice to a harsh whisper. “Leave before you cause a greater scene.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Miles’s jaw tightened.

“Anne’s reputation is at stake. She has never had more attention on her, and people are searching for anything to scrutinize.”

“Perhaps you should leave,” Miles said.

Alexander shook his head, standing his ground with folded arms.

Miles glanced at me. I stood by the wall, too stunned to move. My heart pounded fast. “Do you want me to leave?” he asked in a soft voice.

I gave a minuscule nod, a surge of emotion rising in my throat.

His gaze darkened, and he looked down at the floor. “Very well,” he said in an abrupt voice. “But I will return tomorrow. We will sort this out.” He cast me a reassuring look before turning his back on Alexander.

I held my breath as he walked away, listening to every footstep as he moved down the staircase. When I could no longer hear him, I rushed around the corner, covering my face with my hands. I didn’t stop walking until I reached the doors of the blue library. Tears streamed down my cheeks despite my effort to contain them. They soaked into my gloves.

“Anne—” Alexander’s voice made me stop. He stepped around me. I peeked at him through my fingers before lowering my hands.

“That was mortifying.” I took a shaky breath. “Did anyone else see?”

Alexander shook his head. His eyes were toffee brown in the candlelight, and the mere sight of him reined in my fears.

“I have never seen Miles behave in such a way. It frightened me.” I swatted at the tears on my cheeks. The raw concern on Alexander’s face was like a balm to my heart, even though it still raced uncontrollably. My legs shook. He took a step toward me, gathering me close to his chest. He smelled of spices and leather. I melted against him, tucking my elbows against my sides as his arms wrapped all the way around me. “You’re safe.”

I knew it. I felt it deep in my bones. Alexander would never do anything to hurt or frighten me. I nodded, but my face was still buried in his jacket. I looked up, and his arms loosened around me. I didn’t want them to.

“Do you think you can make one more appearance at the party?” he asked. He swiped a tear off my cheek with his thumb. “Or would you rather go to your room? I can deliver your excuses for you if you’d like. I can say that you felt unwell and needed to retire early. It’s reasonable that you would feel out of sorts in such a hot room…I could even say that you fainted.” His quick solutions continued spilling out, but all I could do was stare up at his face and the goodness in his eyes. My heart hammered, demanding that for once, I listen. I was in love with him.

“What would you like me to do?” he asked when I didn’t respond. His sincere eyes gazed into mine. What I wanted was for him to pull me close again and hold me until the party was over, but I didn’t dare make such a request.

“I-I think I will return to my room. My watery face will not go unnoticed.” I laughed, rubbing the tip of my nose.

Alexander smiled, and I saw the adoration in his gaze. He closed his hands around my heart with that one look. “Your watery face is lovely, but I much prefer to see it without tears.” He paused. “Will you be all right?”

I nodded, but a hint of worry crossed my mind. What if Miles hadn’t left the house? What if he was downstairs waiting for me? He hadn’t seemed like himself that night, and I dreaded the thought of encountering him again. Fear scratched at my skin.

Alexander seemed to read my mind. His brow furrowed. “Would you feel comfortable in the study? If it wouldn’t put you under scrutiny, I would walk you to your room, but it may be best to wait until the party is over.”

I gave a quick nod. “That would be wise.”

I unfurled myself from his arms, taking a step back. My legs still shook, but my pulse had returned to normal. Before he could leave, a question burst out of my mouth, completely unbidden. “Will you tell me what happened between you and Miles?”

He stopped, his mouth a firm line.

“Tell me everything.” My voice broke. “I am prepared to hear it. I want to know how he has hurt you and I want to know all the lies he has told.” I sniffed. “I am through with hiding from the truth simply because it scares me.”

Alexander took a heavy breath, glancing behind him. “I will try to be brief.”

I nodded my agreement.

He began in a quiet voice. “I was mischievous as a child, but I grew out of it. Miles seemed to have an opposite trajectory.”

I stopped him. “You didn’t grow out of it completely.”

“I’m not speaking of harmless mischief and teasing. In his adolescence, Miles disregarded every rule my parents tried to enforce. There was once a time he stole a family heirloom—our grandmother’s necklace—and sold it, keeping the money for himself. When the investigation was underway, he convinced our elder brother that I was the one who stole it, and with their combined efforts, they convinced my parents of the same. He once wounded one of our horses by riding too recklessly. Because of the reputation I had accrued from his lies, he easily put the blame on me. I was his scapegoat. That is why I was sent away to school rather than being educated at home as my brothers had.”

My heart sank. “That is horribly unfair.”

“You haven’t heard the worst of it.” His jaw tightened. He seemed hesitant to continue.

“Please tell me,” I whispered.

His hesitant eyes met mine, but he nodded. “Four years ago, I had just finished my education at Oxford. I was working with the local parish near my family estate to become part of the clergy. During that spring and summer, Miles lived at the house as well.”

That was the summer I lived with my aunt and uncle. It was just before my fateful Season with Henrietta, when I had become engaged to the baron.

“University, and his time in London, had made Miles a rake,” Alexander continued. “I had seen him flirting with maids in the household on many occasions, promising a future he could never give them. In the months that we both lived at our family estate, it was discovered that one of the scullery maids was with child. Miles had already left for London, but he returned to pay the young woman to claim that I was the one who had romanced her. No matter how I denied it, her claims were firm against me. My local parish learned of the disgrace, and my plans for a profession in the church became impossible.”

I covered my mouth with one hand. My stomach turned.

Alexander’s brow furrowed as he watched my signs of alarm. “I was forced to change my course. I was eventually accepted at an inn of court to study the law. After my studies there were complete, I moved to York, where I was able to use the connections I had made in school to obtain enough work to pay off my educational debts. I finally came ahead and began making a respectable living. I still hoped to regain the respect of my parents, but without a confession from Miles, I doubted it was possible.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at the floor. “Two years ago, just before his embarkation, Miles found me in York. He didn’t have enough money for his passage and settlement in India. Like a fool, I made a bargain with him. I would lend him money for his passage and lodging if he would repay me upon his return, and confess the truth to our parents of what had happened two years before. He agreed, took my money, and boarded the next ship. But he didn’t confess.”

I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat. The summer Miles had romanced the maid…he had been writing me love letters. He had courted me in London at the start of the season before returning home for a time. Now that I knew the story, I felt ill. When I had written to him about my plight with the baron, he had been too preoccupied with paying the maid to blame Alexander to come to my rescue. I had assumed he was heartbroken. I had pitied him. I had felt guilty for years.

Hot anger pulsed through my veins, the heat growing as embarrassment bloomed in my chest. How could I have not seen through his act? His charms hadn’t only affected me . He used them to his advantage with everyone he met.

I looked up at Alexander’s face and the raw concern in his eyes. He hadn’t enjoyed telling the story; he knew how it would hurt me. My skin burned with mortification. He had tried to warn me so many times, but I had been blind. Alexander’s entire family and parish had turned against him because of what Miles had done. He was owed money that Miles still withheld from him, refusing to take responsibility for his own actions.

I still tasted Miles’s uninvited kiss on my lips. In all aspects of his character, he was just as awful, if not even worse, than the baron. The realization made my heart sting.

“That is detestable,” I finally choked out. “I’m sorry.” My throat tightened around any additional words. My eyes stung.

Alexander drew closer, a hint of frustration in his gaze. “I wanted you to know, but I didn’t want the information to hurt you.” He searched my eyes. “It’s a lot to bear. I’m sorry if I have overwhelmed you.”

Footsteps beyond the corridor made me jump back. People were still visiting the refreshment table. If anyone turned the corner, we would no longer be hidden. It wasn’t wise to continue our conversation. Alexander looked over his shoulder before taking my hand softly in his. “I will explain your absence to Lady Tottenham. You will be safe in the study.”

I nodded. He gave my fingers a squeeze before stepping away. I felt his gaze on me until I was safely behind the door of the blue library.