Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

ANNE

T he green satin on my slippers matched my evening gown. I turned in a circle in front of the looking glass in my bedchamber. Jane had already left the room, leaving me alone with my reflection. My hair was piled high on the crown of my head, with a thin cream satin ribbon threaded throughout the curls. Lady Tottenham had given me a pair of emerald earrings and a necklace to wear. They were beautiful. I had never worn anything so expensive, but she had insisted that I look like a wealthy heiress for the celebration that evening. She claimed it would be a small gathering, consisting of the house party guests as well as her closest friends from London. Somehow I doubted her definition of ‘small gathering.’

I was far less concerned with the other invitations that had been sent than I was with the one Lady Tottenham had extended to Miles that afternoon. He had lingered at the house for a few hours that afternoon, shooting arrows and walking the grounds with me, but he would soon be returning for the ball. He and Alexander would be in the same room once again.

During my walk with Miles that afternoon, he had told about his time in India. He claimed to have been successful in his trade, and that he had earned a great deal of money. If he had truly returned to England for me, even after finding success in India, then how could I doubt his devotion? How could I do anything but marry him after he had come on such a long journey? He had made his intentions clear, and now all he waited for was my answer.

But the thought of giving an answer brought on a swell of anxiety. I never would have questioned what I wanted a few weeks before. I had waited years for this, yet now I felt rushed and pressured and…

Terrified.

I did feel a sense of obligation toward him. If I didn’t accept his proposal soon, he might grow impatient and leave me again. If I did accept soon, I would lose Alexander forever. That thought was enough to drive a dagger of grief through my chest.

I had no idea what to do.

All I knew, after my conversations with both brothers, was that one of them was lying.

I adjusted the gold bracelet that rested over my glove, meeting my own gaze in the mirror. Determination flashed in my eyes. I was going to find out who it was.

I arrived early in the hexagon room, standing near the door beside Lady Tottenham. Her rouge was a shade darker than usual for the occasion, her lips painted a deep burgundy. She wore a silk gold turban to match her gown with a white feather sticking out the top. “I don’t expect a very large crowd, considering that the invitations were sent only yesterday. We will host another celebration next month when the news has spread further.”

A flutter of excitement replaced my nerves for a brief moment. I had written a letter to my sister and her husband, as well as my dear friend Nora. The news would reach them in time for the second celebration. I missed them all terribly, and I was eager to see their reaction to my new circumstances. Lady Tottenham was helping me through the adjustment, but I still felt alone.

Victoria and Octavia had been avoiding me since the news had come out the day before.

For all I knew, Miles only wanted to marry me for the fortune.

Alexander and I had barely spoken since he kissed me by the pond. I had so many emotions swirling around my heart I could hardly keep track of them. I had no outlet; no friend to talk to.

I cast my gaze around the room. I had never seen it bathed in candlelight as it was. The rooftop window provided a view of the stars that was sure to impress the guests. The brown velvet chairs and the sofa had been moved against the wall, leaving the floor completely open for dancing. A refreshment table had been set up in the exercise hall, and the musicians gathered near the fireplace, tuning their instruments.

Lord Tottenham’s many hunting prizes would serve as spectators for the ball that evening. I winced when I noticed the charred rabbit’s face.

The guests arrived slowly over the following ten minutes. Lady Tottenham’s estimation was quickly proven wrong. There were at least thirty people, besides the house party guests, who passed the threshold of the hexagon room. Lady Tottenham introduced me to each one. Most of her friends were couples, but there were also a number of young men and women with their chaperones who entered the room. I couldn’t begin to memorize all of their names, but they were sure to remember mine. They had come solely to make my acquaintance—and to cast their envious stares in my direction.

I was swept away in a conversation with a tall gentleman and his wife, when I saw Miles enter the room. He cast his gaze across all six walls with a look of approval. He wore a formal dark grey jacket and white cravat, his hair golden in the candlelight. His presence made me straighten my shoulders. His eyes found me across the room, and a smile lit up his face. He made his way to my side.

I tried to focus on his approach, but Alexander had just stepped into the room. My heart leaped. His gaze met mine. His jaw was clean and smooth, and his dark hair fell in soft waves around his face. I never would have described Alexander as elegant, but his black jacket on his broad shoulders and white cravat made him look more proper and refined than any man in the room. But I knew appearances could be deceiving. For example, Lady Tottenham was proper and refined around her visitors, her eccentricities hidden flawlessly. No one would have guessed that she had been encouraging improper meetings between her young guests, forcing them to eat crickets, and locking them in rooms overnight.

Alexander could have been using his handsome face and teasing smiles to turn me against Miles. Likewise, Miles could have been using his charms to secure my fortune.

I tore my gaze away from Alexander as Miles reached me.

“You have never looked more ravishing.” His wide smile put me at ease for a short moment.

“Thank you.” I lifted my chin, trying to accept his compliment with confidence. Miles had never been so forward with his remarks in the past, nor with his displays of affection. He scooped up my hand and kissed it.

“This is such a peculiar room,” he said with a look at the ceiling. “I find it fascinating.”

“It’s one of my favorite rooms in the house.” I had already made a very distinct memory in that room. I almost smiled at the thought of Alexander using the pugilist as a pillow, but then a pang of sadness stole my humor.

“It does seem a peculiar choice for a ballroom,” Miles whispered. “I would sooner host balls on the ground level in the parlor. That would be more easily accessible to guests of any age and physical capability.” He examined the walls. “This room, however, would serve as an excellent withdrawing area during a party for drinking and cards, especially with the hunting prizes and rifles displayed.”

I eyed his eager expression. “You seem to have given it a great deal of thought.”

He laughed. “I am simply pointing out the obvious.” He turned to face me. “May I beg the honor of your first dance this evening? You are sure to be a popular partner, so I must take my opportunity while I can.”

“Of course.” My gaze flickered over his shoulder. Alexander was approaching. I fiddled with the bracelet on my wrist, feigning deep interest in it.

“Good evening, Anne. Good evening, Miles.” Alexander’s voice was polite, which shocked me considering the discord between the two brothers.

Miles did not appear pleased to have him join us, but Alexander didn’t seem to care.

Alexander regarded me with a smile. “I came to claim one of your dances, if I may.”

My heart fluttered deep inside my chest. “My second dance is available.”

He nodded, his dark eyes roaming my face. “I look forward to it.”

Miles’s expression remained stoic as he observed our conversation. Every word from Alexander’s mouth, every expression on his face, confirmed what he had said to me that afternoon. It isn’t a ruse to me. It never was. He took my hand, pressing his lips to my knuckles.

A wave of heat climbed my neck as Alexander walked away, and I prayed it didn’t show on my face. Miles’s gaze was hard as he watched his brother retreat into the crowd. “That was bold of him,” Miles muttered.

“Why?” The word burst out before I thought better of it.

“He knows that you and I have been unofficially engaged for months. He already lied to try to keep us apart, and now he is flirting with you with the sole purpose of upsetting me.” He shook his head with a sad smile. “It’s almost as if he’s trying to…convince you to withdraw from the arrangements we made before I arrived—as if he thinks you wouldn’t be true to your word. He doesn’t understand as I do what a loyal and true woman you are.” His warm blue eyes had comforted me on many occasions, but now they induced a fresh wave of anxiousness. “It will serve us best to ignore him. We mustn’t allow anything or anyone to come between us again.”

I nodded, but my stomach was in knots.

After giving her guests a few more minutes to mingle, Lady Tottenham signaled the musicians to begin the first dance. Miles led me to the center of the room, joining the line of dancers. I looked in his eyes as the steps began. His smile was as warm as it had always been, but it didn’t have any effect on me. I felt hollow. Disappointment sank through my chest as we danced. I had dreamed of a moment like this for years, yet I felt nothing but apprehension as Miles stood across from me. His hand on my waist, our fingers intertwined, his intense gaze…it all fit the dream I had invented, but my reaction was not what I had expected. I felt like I was dancing with a ghost. Dread enveloped me as I realized that the time we had spent apart might have been the death of my connection to him. He was a stranger with a familiar face. That was all.

As we moved through the steps of the dance, I tried to calm the turmoil in my heart, but it raged on. The shield between us was caused by a hint of resentment. I had always assumed I would run into Miles’s arms and marry him the moment he found me again, but perhaps I hadn’t given myself enough credit. I was not as malleable as he thought.

Perhaps I wasn’t quite as forgiving as I thought.

He hadn’t even tried to save me from marrying the baron, and I had been excusing his actions as heartbreak ever since. Then he had left me waiting for another two years. He had returned with remorse, but not with an apology. His assumption that we could resume our courtship and become engaged as if nothing had happened—as if I had not grown or changed—had been silently irking me since he arrived that afternoon. I had been too afraid to admit it to myself.

When the dance ended, Miles led me to the wall with the glass case full of birds. It was the wall farthest from where Alexander stood. He was in the middle of a conversation with a pretty young woman and a couple who must have been her parents. I resisted a pang of jealousy. My skin was hot, and I couldn’t manage to cool it down.

The room was overly crowded and the dance had drained my energy. I had always done well at large parties and social gatherings, but today was different. My stays felt too tight, my hair was heavy, and my gloves made my arms itch. I took a shaky breath.

“Are you all right?” Miles cast me a look of concern, pulling my gaze away from Alexander.

“Yes,” I lied.

His brow furrowed deeper. “I’ll fetch you a glass of water.”

I thanked him with a look as he weaved through the crowd toward the door.

The moment he was gone, a woman similar in age to Lady Tottenham swooped in to begin a conversation with me. I was as polite as possible, offering smiles and thoughtful responses, and inquiring after her life and situation. I wondered if she could see the painstaking effort behind it. Nothing I did or said felt natural, not after the realization that my connection to Miles might have been damaged. Could it be mended? Who was I without my hope for him? How had I allowed myself to become so dependent on a dream? I felt like an imposter in my own skin, the room slowly shrinking in around me.

Miles returned to my side with a glass, and I drank it quickly enough to draw a look of surprise from his face. As soon as the woman I had been conversing with walked away, I turned to face him. “I have a question for you, and I beg you to answer honestly.”

Miles’s brows lifted. “I have always been honest with you, Anne.”

“I know—I just…” I paused. Did I actually know? I scowled at the floor before lifting my chin. “When you called upon me here this afternoon, were you already aware of my inheritance?”

He shook his head immediately. “No. I already told you that. I was as surprised as anyone when you told me the news.”

I searched his face, scrutinizing every detail.

His eyes flashed with hurt. “Do you doubt me?”

“No, I—” My chest tightened with guilt.

“Has my brother been planting ideas in your head? I trust you are mature enough to know your own mind.” Miles took my empty glass from my hand, cradling my elbow gently. “What more can I do to prove my devotion to you?”

I didn’t have a chance to answer before the music began, signaling the start of the second dance. I searched the crowd for Alexander. My heart picked up speed when I saw that he was only a few feet away. I stepped forward, grateful to avoid the question Miles had asked me, even though my insides twisted with nervousness at the thought of dancing with Alexander.

Dancing had never troubled me before. But for some reason, I envisioned myself tripping over my feet if he was touching me.