Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

ANNE

W here was that blasted key?

My mind wandered as I sat in the drawing room after dinner that evening. I had focused my attention back on the game, hoping it would distract me from the other events of the day. Since that morning, I had been too preoccupied with the clue Lady Tottenham had given Octavia and Victoria, and not on my own clue. At ten o’ clock that morning in the hexagon room, no key had materialized in front of us. I hadn’t expected it to be that simple, of course, but I had nothing to work with. Perhaps all Lady Tottenham had done was reveal the location of the key. Was it somewhere in the hexagon room? That was where Lord Tottenham’s portrait was located, after all.

There was still the matter of those elusive ‘letters’ I was meant to find. By heeding the clue about the leeches, I was skipping an important part of my own riddle. The verse had read, You’ll find the key underfoot of the game. Did that refer to the last parlor game of the day? How did Octavia’s clue intertwine with my own? My brain hurt from trying to solve the puzzle.

Was it all worth the effort? The mysterious prize was beginning to feel like a sham.

The men were still in the dining room, so I sat exclusively among all the female guests in the drawing room. I picked up a book, but I wasn’t actually reading. I couldn’t focus. I had failed the game of deceit that morning miserably. Soon enough, I would have to pay a forfeit.

Victoria sat alone on a settee by the bookcase. Her blond curls were tight against her forehead, her intelligent eyes observing the other women in the room. I stood, crossing the rug to join her on the settee. “Good evening, Miss Colborne,” I said with a smile.

“Good evening, my lady.” She shifted to allow room for me to sit beside her. “How are you faring? I thought it was cruel of Lady Tottenham to force you into sharing such a personal story from your past.” She scowled in our hostess’s direction. Thankfully, Octavia was playing a jubilant song on the pianoforte, drowning out our voices.

Victoria’s kind eyes were so different from her sister’s. My heart was touched by her sympathy. “I am well now, thank you,” I said. “I thought I should warn you about a conversation I overheard at breakfast this morning. You may want to be wary of Lord Kirkham and Mr. Barnwall. They have agreed upon a competition to win your favor.”

Victoria’s eyes widened, and then her nose scrunched with disgust. “Thank you for warning me, that is very kind of you. I shall be on my guard. I despise them both.”

I laughed. “I must agree with you.”

She tipped her head to one side. “I heard a rumor that you kissed Lord Kirkham at the first midnight parlor game.”

Would that ever stop haunting me? I grimaced. “I regret that decision deeply,” I said with a laugh. “I would never choose him a second time.”

Victoria gave a mischievous grin. “Surely you would choose Mr. Holland now.”

I swallowed, putting on a smile of my own. “Yes, of course.” I thought of that morning, when Alexander had held my hand after I returned to my chair. I could practically still feel his fingers around mine. They had left an impression. It had only been my hand, but no one had ever touched me like that. His touch had spoken to me without words. It had awoken new emotions, and silenced others. Dread, pain, fear—they had all vanished. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

But then we had argued outside in the rain. Guilt stabbed at my heart all over again.

Victoria leaned closer, interrupting my thoughts. “I’m very glad you managed to steal Mr. Holland’s attention from my sister. She always gets what she wants. It’s infuriating.” She sat back with a smug grin.

I didn’t know how to respond to that. I gave an awkward laugh, casting my gaze toward the door as the men made their entrance.

My heart hammered when I saw Alexander. Our last conversation had been repeating in my mind all evening. I had been trying to formulate an apology, but the right words had evaded me. Was it better to keep distance between us? Our ruse had successfully deterred Octavia and Lord Kirkham. What point was there in continuing it? There was only one week remaining of the party.

My shoulders straightened, my heart in my throat as Alexander’s gaze met mine. His dark hair shone in the candlelight, his wary eyes seeming to debate the wisdom of sitting beside me. If he didn’t, there would be speculation about the strength of our attachment. If he did, the evening would be painfully awkward.

He started in my direction.

I held my breath and lowered my gaze to the book in my lap.

I felt his weight shift the settee cushion. I gathered the courage to look up. His gaze was already on my face. Before I could say a word, Victoria leaned across me.

“Good evening, Mr. Holland. Lady Daventry and I were just speaking of you.” She gave a broad smile.

Alexander cast me a sidelong glance. “Well, I’m sorry to have interrupted such a diverting subject.”

She laughed. I tried to join, but it sounded more like a whimper. I cleared my throat. With Victoria sitting close by, it wasn’t the proper time to attempt to formulate an apology. We were in public, so it was all we could do to act as if nothing was amiss between us. Alexander seemed to recognize that all too well.

“Was Lady Daventry telling you how much she adores me?” he asked with a charming smile.

Victoria nodded. “Not in such obvious terms, but yes, she was.” She threw me a wink.

My face burned. I could feel Alexander’s gaze, but I didn’t dare look away from the pages of my book. I was not in the mood for acting that night. I didn’t trust myself to play my role correctly. My mind was in a thousand different places.

My heart was in a thousand others.

I felt horrible for the words I had spoken to Alexander earlier that day, and for the contention between us. I wanted to erase all of it and go back to being his friend, but I didn’t know how. There had been a shift in our relationship, and I was fairly certain it was irreversible. I was overly aware of every movement he made on the settee beside me.

As the minutes rolled on, Octavia played several songs on the pianoforte, Mr. Lymington read several pages of poetry, and I stared at the clock. It was nearly ten. There had been no obvious ‘key’ revealed that morning, so I could only assume that it would be revealed that evening instead.

On the tenth chime of the clock, Lady Tottenham stood from her chair, calling the room to attention. “The time has come to reveal the answers from our game this morning. Lady Daventry, Mrs. Pike, and I each told two stories, and you were charged with the task of deciding which one was true and which was false. If any of us are caught in our lies, then we must pay a forfeit.”

My stomach lurched.

She gave a smug smile. “I regret to inform you that your guess regarding my story was incorrect. I did indeed fall in love with Lord Tottenham after he redeemed himself by gifting me a pet rabbit.”

“Drat,” I muttered. “I was certain she wasn’t fond of animals.”

“As was I,” Alexander said. “Can you envision her with a pet rabbit?”

“No.” I glanced at his face with a smile before remembering how he must have hated me. He smiled back, and my heart gave a distinct leap. I looked away, embarrassed for no apparent reason. My head was light, my hands perspiring. I would have to reveal my story next.

Lady Tottenham grinned at the dismayed whispers of her guests. She must have known all along we would guess incorrectly. “The rabbit,” she said in a slow voice, “as silly as it was, became the key to unlocking my heart.”

I sat up straighter.

The key to her heart…was her pet rabbit? Was that the clue?

I scowled at Lady Tottenham’s face as I tried to piece together the riddles in my mind. According to the clue given to the Colborne sisters, the key would be revealed at ten o’ clock. Lady Tottenham could not have explained it in clearer terms.

Had I just pirated their clue?

I glanced at Octavia, who sat beside Mrs. Pike on the other side of the room. She wore an eager smile. She wasn’t a fool. She had heard it just as clearly as I had.

My mind raced. What did it mean? According to my riddle, the key would be found ‘underfoot of the game,’ and only after I had found the letters that spelled out what I had assumed was Lord Tottenham’s christian name, Walter. The two riddles didn’t align. Something still seemed to be missing.

“Lady Daventry?”

I blinked, my vision coming into focus. Lady Tottenham stared at me expectantly.

“Y-yes?” I stammered.

“It is your turn.” She motioned me forward.

I stood, my legs shaking beneath me as I crossed the room to stand beside her. I steeled myself against the dread in my stomach. “Of my two stories, the second was true,” I announced. “You all guessed correctly.”

Mrs. Pike applauded for herself, and the others soon followed. I glanced at Lady Tottenham for direction. She stepped forward, a consoling smile on her face. “Unfortunately you were caught in your lie, my dear. That means you must pay a forfeit.”

I cringed inwardly at the word, a fresh surge of fear accompanying it. I could eat a hundred crickets before I would kiss Lord Kirkham again—or anyone else for that matter. My heart hammered. Lady Tottenham did love crickets, but she loved forcing her guests to kiss even more.

Lady Tottenham tapped her chin dramatically. “I should like to change the way forfeits are paid. Rather than drawing one out of a hat, I have written the names of all the guests and placed them in this bowl.” She turned toward the mantel and took the bowl in her hands. “The person whose name you draw will decide your fate. He or she will choose what your forfeit must be.”

I gulped, but gave a nod. I reached into the bowl, taking the first slip of foolscap I touched. As long as I didn’t choose Lord Kirkham, Mr. Barnwall, or Mr. St. Vincent, the required forfeit was likely to be something safe and minimally embarrassing. I would be happy to embarrass myself with a dance or song or silly poem. A few days before, Octavia had been forced to perform a mime, pretending she was a dog for five minutes. I could manage something humiliating like that.

Lady Tottenham snatched the slip from my hand before I could unfold it. She read the name I had chosen in a loud voice. “Miss Victoria Colborne.”

At first I was relieved, but then I remembered our conversation from earlier that evening. My heart raced as Victoria’s lips curled into a sly smile. She cast me a knowing look. I tried to protest with my eyes, but it didn’t work.

She stood, joining Lady Tottenham and me by the fireplace. “Lady Daventry has paid me a kindness this evening, and I should like to repay her with a forfeit that she is sure to happily perform.” Her blonde curls bounced as she turned toward me with that lingering mischief in her smile. “Lady Daventry, I require you to kiss Mr. Holland.”

My lungs refused to expand. My chest was tight, and my head swam.

“On the mouth,” Victoria added with a grin.

Mrs. Pike looked like she might faint from chagrin as Victoria practically skipped back to her seat on the other side of the room. I followed her movement with my gaze, all the way back to where Alexander sat.

I met his eyes, and my heart beat even faster. What would happen if I refused to pay the forfeit? I weighed the consequences in my mind. Mrs. Fitzgibbon had already been sent home along with her two cousins. What should stop Lady Tottenham from banishing me from Birch House for not keeping her rules? My pulse thrummed in my neck, and I could already feel heat climbing my cheeks. It could be quick. I could plant a quick kiss on his lips and be done with it. I didn’t have a choice this time.

“Come forward, Mr. Holland,” Lady Tottenham said in a gleeful voice. “Your affection for Lady Daventry is no secret. You may now display it properly. Or rather improperly, I suppose.” She chuckled.

I felt ill. My legs shook beneath me as Alexander stood from the settee. We had hardly spoken since our argument that afternoon, and the tension between us was still tangible. His dark eyes were difficult to read until he came closer. The caution in his gaze was obvious, but perhaps only to me. My heart was fully prepared to spring out of my chest. This is a game , I reminded myself. A harmless game. Our attachment was fake, so this kiss could be just as fake. But was there such a thing as a fake kiss? Lips touched lips. That was a kiss. A real, inarguable kiss.

One of my rules had clearly stated that there wasn’t to be any kissing, even for forfeits, but that rule was about to be broken, just like all the others. It was an obligation. I took a deep breath as Alexander drew a step closer.

With his back to the other guests, he searched my gaze, and I gave a minuscule nod. He was too tall for me to initiate the kiss, so I remained perfectly still until he lifted his hand to my face, his fingertips threading into my hair as he cradled my cheek. Shivers followed his touch, but I tried my best to ignore them. I swallowed, my breath hitching as his eyes lowered to my lips. I wished he would move a little faster to end it quickly, but he seemed intent to take his time.

He leaned his head down slowly. I had never been so nervous for anything, yet my anticipation had transformed from fear to desire in a matter of seconds. I closed my eyes, rising on my toes to close the space between us. His lips captured mine softly.

Although my lungs were full of air, they felt suddenly empty. My head was light. My skin was on fire, and my legs quaked beneath me. Alexander’s lips were soft and gentle, not greedy or harsh like others I had kissed before. I didn’t dare touch him. My hands hung limp at my sides, the only part of me that remembered we had an audience. But my lips parted with his, just once, stealing a few more seconds of a kiss that I had fully intended to last one, perhaps even less.

I remembered where we were—what we were doing—and pulled away fast. My cheeks burned. Alexander’s eyes met mine, shadowed by the dim candlelight of the room. My heart thudded. I didn’t dare look at him for long.

“That is what I call a proper kiss,” Lady Tottenham said with a clap of her hands. Her eyes gleamed with pride.

I smiled and gave an awkward laugh, but my insides were storming with confusion and a horde of other emotions I couldn’t name. My lips tingled as I hurried back to my seat beside Victoria. Alexander was right behind me, joining me back on the settee.

I stared straight ahead, swallowing hard against the sudden dryness in my throat. I had known that kissing Alexander, even as a forfeit, would be a mistake.

I had always known that it wouldn’t be a forgettable experience.

Victoria nudged me, her wide smile lighting up her entire face. “When he offers his proposal, remember who to thank,” she whispered.

She reminded me of my friend Nora. A little mischievous, too romantic, but kind-hearted. Her efforts were well-intentioned, though misguided. But how could she have known any better? Alexander was far too skilled an actor. Apparently my acting was improving as well. My heart pounded, accusing me of the lies I was telling myself.

After a few minutes, I couldn’t bear the awkwardness any longer. I stood, excusing myself with a curtsy. Lady Tottenham didn’t protest as I rushed into the corridor and back to my bedchamber. I shut the door and leaned against it, pressing a hand to my chest as I tried to calm my breathing.

My gaze caught on the pile of letters on my writing desk. I hurried toward it, digging frantically through them until I found the one from Miles. I read it again, grasping onto every word. I needed to be reminded of my purpose. My heart was muddled. It had once been clear, like an untouched lake, but Alexander had stomped through it, raising up clouds of mud in the water.

I focused on the last paragraph.

When I learned that you were widowed, I already had plans to go to India. I was afraid my feelings might not have been returned. Now that I am here, I regret my decision to leave. I am coming back to London. I plan to arrive no later than the middle of September of this year in the hopes that we might soon marry. I hope to find you there.

With all of my heart,

Miles

I hugged the letter to my chest, careful not to crumple it. This was my purpose in being here. I needed to remember that. Miles was coming back for me, and I was at risk of betraying him by growing too close to his brother. What would Miles think if he knew I had kissed Alexander, even as part of a game? Would he change his mind?

I returned the letter to the desk, keeping my palm pressed on top of it. I breathed deeply. I needed to forget that kiss, but my lips still burned. My stomach fluttered at the thought of it. I pushed the sensation away, searching for a distraction. My gaze caught on the pile of letters from Lady Tottenham—the midnight parlor game invitations. In my search for the letter from Miles, the pile had fallen askew, leaving several letters flipped to the blank side.

Except they weren’t blank at all.

My heart picked up speed as I snatched up the first letter. In the top left corner was one small letter.

W

On the bottom right corner was another.

R

I dug through the pile and found all six invitations, flipping them all to the opposite side. Each one had a letter in the top corner, and another in the bottom. How had I never noticed before? I scooped them up and moved them to my bed, placing them in a line with their backs facing me.

Search for the letters that spell out his name.

I stood back a step, a wave of realization crashing over my shoulders. The riddle had told me to search for letters, but there had been two meanings to the clue. The letters of his name were on Lady Tottenham’s letters : all the dreaded letters that had been slipped under my door. There were six.

I checked the date on each one, arranging them in order from the first to the last. The letters in the top corners aligned, and I gasped with delight.

WALTER

I checked the corresponding letters on the bottom corners, which came together to form one word.

RABBIT

My eyes rounded, and I covered my mouth with one hand. Lady Tottenham had led Octavia and Victoria to the same conclusion, but with a different riddle. The key to her heart was a rabbit according to the clue she had given the Colborne sisters, but according to my riddle, I would find the key ‘underfoot of the game.’ My mind raced back to that morning at ten when we had gathered for the first half of the story game. We had played the game in the hexagon room.

Could that have been part of the Colborne sisters’ clue as well?

Lady Tottenham’s lie had been the story about the rifle, which she claimed was the one hanging on the wall in the hexagon room. If the true key to her heart was her pet rabbit…was it also in that room? The six walls flashed through my mind.

The doorway.

The fireplace with Lord Tottenham’s portrait.

The rifle with the sofa beneath it.

The ornate wallpaper and wood carvings.

The window.

The large animal heads, and the glass case filled with small animals and birds.

Was her pet rabbit among them?

My mind was going in the right direction. I knew it. I paced across the room, desperate to keep the momentum. I recited my own riddle out loud.

“ To find the prize which you now seek to claim

Search for the letters that spell out his name.

You’ll find the key underfoot of the game

With which you’ll unlock her heart in its frame.”

I stopped. There was more than one word with a double meaning in that riddle.

You’ll find the key underfoot of the game.

It wasn’t referring to the games we played at Birch House. They were a diversion. It must have referred to term for the wild animals that had been hunted by Lord Tottenham. Game animals. Why had I not seen that before? We had played so many other games, I had wrongly assumed that they were what the riddle referred to.

I paused to gather my racing thoughts, walking back to the pile of letters on my bed. It all made sense now. I was closer to the prize than I had ever been before. It was nearly midnight, but it couldn’t wait until the next day. I hadn’t received an invitation to the midnight parlor game that night. With any luck, Octavia and Victoria had been invited, and wouldn’t be able to search for their clue until the next morning.

I couldn’t waste another moment.

My hand shook as I picked up the candle beside my bed and slipped into the corridor.