Chapter 26

26

PRESENT DAY

Blake checked her room one last time, before zipping up her suitcase. It was the day following their argument, and she couldn’t believe she was leaving, that her trip was almost over and she’d be back in London before the end of the day. After her row with Henri, she’d booked the next flight available, not wanting to drag out her goodbye any longer than it needed to be. She’d done what she came to do, she had enough material to finish her series of articles, and it was abundantly clear that Henri no longer wanted her there. He’d barely spoken to her since he’d returned from wherever he’d driven off to the following day. And besides, he was leaving in the morning to return to Paris for work, and there was no way he was going to leave her there with his mother.

There was a knock at her door, and when she turned to look, Henri was standing there. He had one hand in his pocket, the other arm braced against the door as he looked at her. His expression was sombre, and she wished she’d been able to see the sparkle in his bright blue eyes one last time.

‘It’s almost time to go,’ he said.

Blake nodded. A few days earlier, Henri would have come into her room and stood behind her, caressing her back or kissing her shoulder as she got ready in the mirror, but now, they were barely speaking, let alone touching. She craved his skin against hers, the whisper of his lips against her ear as they lay in bed, and part of her wondered if she’d ever stop yearning for him.

‘Thank you, I’ll be out soon.’

He stood for a moment longer, watching her, and she tried to busy herself by checking her handbag so she didn’t have to make eye contact. If there was something she could say, she would have, but she’d said everything to him the day before and she couldn’t imagine what she could possibly tell him that would make him believe her.

‘Blake, about what I said yesterday,’ he began.

‘Please, you don’t have to apologise,’ she replied, wondering why she’d said the words the moment they left her mouth. Of course he needed to apologise! ‘I’ll be gone soon, and you’ll never have to worry about my intentions ever again.’

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.’ He looked like he was about to say something else, but instead he turned his back on her and walked away, leaving her alone again.

Tears welled in her eyes but she refused to let them fall. Not here. She could cry all she wanted when she got home, but here she was going to hold her head high and do her best to enjoy her final moments. Things might have fallen apart with Henri, but without him she would never have travelled to Provins and discovered what she had about her family’s heritage, or be in possession of one of Evelina’s dresses, now packed safely in her luggage.

They were the memories she was going to hold on to. That was the Henri she would choose to remember, before he’d broken her heart.

Blake picked up her bags and walked out of the room, stopping to glance back one last time and make sure she had it committed to memory. Then she made her way down the hall, encountering Louis, who was sprawled out on the rug, as if knowing that lying there would stop her from being able to leave.

‘Goodbye, Louis,’ she said, pausing to give him a belly rub. The dog looked up at her as if to ask where she was going, and she bent lower to kiss him on the head, leaving behind a trace of pink lipstick.

She stepped over the dog and lifted her luggage with her, taking a deep breath as she neared the door. What she hadn’t been expecting was to find not just Henri waiting to say goodbye to her outside the enormous front doors of the chateau, but his parents, too.

Benoit was wearing his classic chinos and shirt, looking cool despite the heat, and he smiled when he saw her.

‘Au revoir, Blake,’ he said, kissing both of her cheeks. ‘It’s been so lovely to have you here. Please tell me we’ll see you again soon?’

‘It’s been the most wonderful experience staying here,’ she said, returning his kisses. ‘Thank you for welcoming me into your home.’

‘Any time,’ he replied, with such warmth and sincerity that she knew he meant it. ‘You are always welcome, whenever you’re in France.’

‘Blake,’ Céline said, opening her arms. She smelt of flowers and sunshine, and she kissed Blake on each cheek, too, and pulled her into a hug. ‘I wish you could stay longer.’

‘So do I,’ she murmured. ‘I think this might just be my most favourite place in the world.’

‘Then stay!’ she said. ‘The job offer still stands. I think you’re exactly who and what I’m looking for. I only hope my son has apologised for the rude way he reacted to my offer yesterday.’

‘Thank you,’ Blake replied, knowing now that the only reason he’d come to say sorry was because it was at his mother’s insistence. ‘That means so much to me, but Henri?—’

‘Oh, ignore Henri! If he’s the reason you turned me down…’

‘Mother,’ Henri said, coming to stand closer and thereby forcing Blake to look at him.

He was wearing a simple white t-shirt and denim jeans, with worn leather boots and his hair thick and unruly, and yet somehow he was the most handsome man she’d ever seen, even though she hated to admit it. He could simply roll out of bed and look incredible, complete with day-old stubble and bed hair.

‘There he goes, trying to tell me what to do again,’ Céline said. ‘But Blake, his role is to advise me, you understand? And it’s up to me whether or not I choose to listen to that advice, because it is my name on the door, not his.’

‘Thank you, for your belief in me and the job offer, but I simply cannot accept. I have my family to think of and a job in London that I love, and as much as I would like to work in fashion, it’s just not the right timing,’ Blake said, feeling as though she was telling the truth and lying at the same time.

Céline looked at her as if she wasn’t fooled for a second, whereas Henri’s expression was harder to read. She wasn’t sure if he looked a touch regretful, or whether that was her just being hopeful. Either way, she had no intention of staying to find out.

After giving her another hug and thanking her again, Blake turned and stood in front of Henri. Her car was already there, waiting at the foot of the steps leading up to the chateau, so she knew she didn’t have long. And she didn’t want long; she wanted to get their goodbyes over and done with.

‘Thank you, Henri, for inviting me here and…’ she paused, not sure how to say what she was trying to say, ‘for assisting me on my journey.’

She cringed; she couldn’t not. But it was never going to be easy saying goodbye to Henri. What did you say to a man you’d fallen head over heels for? She certainly didn’t have much experience at this kind of heartbreaking goodbye.

‘Au revoir, Blake,’ he said, stepping forward, his hands placed gently on her shoulders as he leaned in and kissed first one cheek and then the other. She knew she wasn’t imagining that he’d lingered over each one. ‘But you don’t have to go. I?—’

‘Goodbye, Henri,’ she said quickly, inhaling the smell of his cologne and resisting the urge to wrap her arms around him one last time or hear what he was about to say. It was time to go.

She stood, looking up at him, but he didn’t say another word, and so neither did she. What was there left to say that hadn’t already been said, after all? He still believed that she had an ulterior motive for seeking him out, and no amount of trying to convince him otherwise was going to work. They were his issues, not hers, but it didn’t make it any easier.

Blake lifted her hand in a wave and looked to his mother and stepfather again. ‘Au revoir!’ she called, before walking down the steps and getting into the back seat of the car, the door to which was being held open for her by the driver.

‘Au revoir!’ Céline called back, standing with her husband now, his arm around her waist as she leaned into him, the way that Henri might have stood with her only a few days before.

Au revoir , she whispered in her mind. Au revoir, Henri .

Her only regret was not stealing one last kiss to remember him by.

Blake opened the door to her flat and dropped her bags at her feet before kicking the door shut behind her. The silence was deafening, and she’d never felt so alone. She sank to the floor, not caring about the hard floorboards beneath her body, and began to cry. She slumped forward as the reality of being home, of what could have been, of the way things had ended with Henri, all came crashing around her. She wished things could’ve been different, but the truth was, it was only ever supposed to be a holiday. She was never supposed to stay in Paris, she was never supposed to stay with Henri, and she was never supposed to fall in love. Before standing to her feet, she left her bags where she’d dropped them, and walked through to her bedroom. After changing, she went to the bathroom and scrubbed her face clean, before retrieving her laptop and sitting down to work. She might be heartbroken, but she could still work, and that was exactly what she intended on doing.

Her phone beeped, and she glanced at the screen. It was Abby. Abby, wanting to know how her holiday was, whether she was still in love with the dashing Frenchman, Henri, whom she’d made the mistake of telling her sister about. She decided to send her a quick reply and told her that Paris had been wonderful, but that she was home now, and crawling into bed after a tiring few days. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth either.

What scared Blake was that now she knew what it was like to leave home and explore somewhere new, it made her yearn to travel to other countries, or even just to return to Paris; she would have done anything for one more night there, one more day, one more week. How could she ever go back to normal life after this? But it wasn’t to be.

She opened her laptop and began to type, shutting her eyes for a moment and pretending she was still there, remembering the sights and smells of Paris; what it felt like to be in such a beautiful city as she discovered Evelina’s secrets. She owed it to her readers, those who’d been invested in her journey from the very beginning, to give them the best of her, and she was determined to deliver a final instalment that would bring them closure.

The trouble was that when she shut her eyes, it wasn’t the trip to Provins and Evelina’s rose gardens that she could see, it was the way Henri had looked at her as she’d walked away from him. He’d stood there, not saying anything, his jaw set in a hard line but his eyes never leaving hers, and right up until the moment her car had driven away from the chateau, she’d expected him to call out and come after her. She’d even looked back, hoping that he would change his mind, but all she saw was the man she’d thought she loved standing there, unmoving, as she disappeared from sight.

The saddest thing was, if he’d asked her to, she would have stayed.