11. Leo

CHAPTER 11

leo

I barely remembered making my way into the bathroom or removing my clothes. I'd forgotten how to word entirely, only able to gulp like a beached dolphin as I stood in the shower, taking in Love's trim body and pretty cock.

They ran their fingers over the faded out tattoo along my collarbone. Kissing it, they looked up at me with shiny eyes. "Why didn't you ever cover it up?"

"I could never erase what you always meant to me, Love."

We kissed and their fingers drifted down to my chest, and they grinned.

"You have honest-to-God pecs." They squeezed the muscles in question. "And holy shit, what did you do to get your arms so ripped?"

Who the fuck cared about arms when they were standing right in front of me? If I was a brick wall, they were a willow tree.

"Clean livin'," I cracked, stealing a line from one of the knitting ladies who volunteered at the Meeting House. According to her, menopausal women were either murderous or hilarious, so I made sure to laugh at everything she said.

Er, rabbit trail.

"Actually, it's the job. Hard work is good for a growing boy."

"Same," they said, grinning as they flexed their much skinnier arms.

A fat bead of precum broke free from my slit and slid down my shaft.

"Working with animals definitely agrees with you, Love."

"What are you thinking?" they asked, placing kisses along my collarbone.

"I'm thinking about how pretty your cock is. Wondering how it'll taste."

I swore, promising to put a filter on my mouth at some point, but not today.

They chuckled. "Meanwhile, your cock, like the rest of you, is so fucking yummy."

A bad feeling, like a memory, drifted through like a cloud, but I let it float by. Instead of trying to come up with a witty response, I pulled them against me and dove in for another kiss.

It took me a few more seconds to figure out what felt so unusual about the way Love responded to me: We were both focused on giving the other pleasure.

I'd never experienced that before.

Love's hair darkened in the water as they pushed it back, showing off their gorgeous eyes and pretty cheekbones. I was mesmerized as they grabbed the shower gel, the act of lathering a mauve pouf far more erotic than it had any right to be.

They then scrubbed me down, lathering me from chin to toes, careful as they washed around my bandages or otherwise sensitive bits, turning me this way and that as they cleaned me so very thoroughly.

At some point, I stopped breathing. My lungs finally demanded oxygen just as Love's sudsy fingers paused at the crack of my ass. I choked on the shower water and shoved Love's shoulder, nearly knocking them down. Horrified, I grabbed them to prevent them from falling.

Realizing I'd overcorrected and was holding their arms too tightly, I let go and stepped back, running into the shower wall. "I'm sorry," I choked out. "Did I hurt you? Are you okay?"

" Leo ."

I'd been staring at their chest, but at the sound of my name in that soothing voice, I let my eyes meet theirs. All I saw was calm understanding.

"You didn't hurt me. You don't have it in you. Do you believe me?"

My chest started to flush and ache, a sure sign that tears were coming. I faced the wall, nodding.

" Leo ," they said, gently touching my chin with their fingertips. "You did nothing wrong. But maybe I did?"

"Not wrong," I said, pissed that I could hear the tremor in my voice. "Just… don't do that again. Never touch me there again."

"I won't. I promise."

That they listened and immediately agreed ripped something painful from my chest. Maybe something my heart had been holding on to all these years, perhaps a sneaky memory or facet of trauma that I hadn't yet explored with my therapist.

I turned toward the corner, unable to look at them as a sob tore from my throat, my shoulders shaking as my body heaved.

That was the way it was sometimes. I'd be happy, and then some powerful emotion would take me out at the knees, and I could only let it wash through me.

"I swear, this isn't a bad thing," I said between choking gasps. "I know it looks bad, but I'm really happy right now."

Love's soft voice cut through the noise. "Can I touch your back?"

I nodded as I continued to weep. Their delicate hand settled between my shoulders, and while I could barely feel their touch, it was everything.

Everything, everything, everything.

Luckily, the tears left as quickly as they'd come on, like a summer thunderstorm. Embarrassed that Love had seen me like this, I kept facing the corner and willed my breathing to return to normal.

"Leo, you can stay there if you'd like, but I'm?—"

I turned back around, avoiding their eyes as I pulled them into my arms, squeezing tight.

"Can't breathe," they croaked, humor in their tone.

I loosened my grip, but only a little. "I feel like an asshole," I said as I laid kisses on their hairline.

"You aren't an asshole," they insisted. "Also… you said that you were happy?"

I sniffed and shed a few more tears. "It's just everything all at once, you know? Like, being here with you mixed with…"

I shivered. They nodded but stayed quiet, like they wanted to hear what I had to say.

"It was just an awful sense memory. Like a lightning strike. But then you didn't force the issue, and it made me feel both sad and happy."

"Sad and happy?"

"Sad that there's a reason I had that reaction. Happy that I'm with someone who is safe and who listens to me, then sad all over again because I didn't have that when I was younger. And then, like, so fucking happy that the person listening to me is you ."

Before I could worry about whether they'd understood any of that gibberish, Love wrapped their arms around me and gave me a hard squeeze. The pressure felt so fucking good, and my heart rate slowed. "That's a lot of emotions to process."

"Yep," I said, hiccupping as I kissed the top of their head. "It happens sometimes, though. I know it's a pain to deal with, but?—"

"Shut up, Leo."

I couldn't take offense, as warmly as they had said it, so I closed my mouth.

"This is not a pain to deal with— you are not a pain to deal with. You're sunshine, even though you came from darkness," they said, their voice gone warbly. "It's the rarest and most special kind of magic."

"I'm magic?" I asked, not believing them.

"Yes, Leo. You're magic. And a miracle." Love's voice cracked on the last word, and they buried their face in the meat of my shoulder. After a few moments, they looked up, their eyes red and streaming with tears as a smile lit up their expression. "I hate that we were apart all these years," they said fervently, "but I think we needed the time."

I nodded, even as I hated admitting that I hadn't been in the best place back then. "You're not wrong."

We both sniffed, then laughed. We traded soft kisses, and I was careful as I took the pouf from Love's hands.

"I don't have the same limitations," they said as I soaped them up. "You can touch me anywhere."

I washed them just as thoroughly as they'd washed me, loving the sight of their body covered in suds. After considering it, I carefully washed their ass and was rewarded with a heavy sigh when my fingers delved between their cheeks. When I swirled my finger around their hole, they ground back against me, moaning.

I appreciated seeing that this kind of touch could be enjoyed, could be safe. I pressed my soaped-up middle finger inside them, and they gasped. They panted when I found and petted the fun nerves. Somewhat to my surprise, giving them what I couldn't accept didn't hurt or make me uncomfortable.

They rubbed up against my thigh as I fucked them with one finger, then two. We kissed, and they bit my lip, and knowing that I could make them feel this way mended something that had been broken inside me.

"Leo," they breathed, and warm heat blossomed on my upper thigh as they thrust. Love threw their head back, savoring the orgasm, and I made them shiver with kisses up and down their neck.

Finally, boneless, they slipped from my fingers and gave me the sweetest peck on the mouth. I would have thought I'd seen Love at their prettiest, but I had never seen their postorgasmic glow. There was nothing more beautiful than Love with sleepy eyes, a relaxed smile, and muscles that felt like Play-Doh to the touch.

While they were recovering, I washed their hair and mine. After rinsing out the shampoo, Love sank to their knees, the look in their eyes indescribable. "May I?"

My cock, which had gone soft with all the crying, had revived while I was caressing Love's body. I nodded, and they cradled my balls in their elegant hands, then slipped my cock into their warm mouth, sucking gently on the head. One of their fingers grazed my taint, and I froze up a bit, but they moved their hand away without comment.

I let out a surprised groan as they slid their mouth farther down my shaft, sucking with more pressure than I thought they were capable of. Between the powerful hoovering action and the gentle but firm pressure on my balls, I barely had time to choke out " Coming " before I was doing just that. Love grabbed my hips and took all of me as I shot down their throat. My knees wobbled, and I had to lean my butt against the wall to support myself.

"Little embarrassed that I came so fast," I said.

"You say that as though it wasn't an absolute compliment to my blowjob skills," they retorted.

"I love you so much," I said, helping them to their feet. We kissed, and I could taste myself on their lips.

"I love you, too." Love put their hand on my chest. "Thank you for being brave."

I flushed at the compliment, then remembered that I had been brave. "You make me brave," I said. "I couldn't have done that with anyone else."

Love sighed, then wrapped me up in a tight hug. "I love you, Leo. I love you so much."