6. Love

CHAPTER 6

love

"It's been four years, Leo," I said, no idea how I felt.

I noticed that my cheeks were wet. I wiped away the moisture, and mascara stained my fingertips.

"Shit," I muttered, grabbing the hem of my T-shirt to blot the mess.

Leo stepped forward and stilled my hand. "You look beautiful."

I glared at him. "How dare you say that to me?"

He lowered his chin and took a step back. "I'm so sorry, Love. I'll never regret anything as much as I regret what I said back then."

"It doesn't matter now. I've moved on."

Leo's face fell. "You're with somebody new?"

There was a frustrating innocence in that question. Like maybe he thought I'd been single this whole time and only found somebody when I moved back home. "No. Though I did have a serious relationship the last year of school."

I'd said that to hurt him, and I regretted it when he scrunched his eyes closed and bit his lip, as though he was trying to keep himself from crying.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I made a mistake coming here."

He turned to leave just as Junior walked in. My oldest brother was tall and built like a brick shithouse, but Leo was bigger. Junior's knowing eyes flicked between us, and he shook his head. "You two finally figuring things out?"

"There's nothing to figure out," I retorted, then winced, knowing Leo would take that badly.

Junior raised his brows. "So you didn't call him for the toilet issue in three?"

Bunkhouse number three was where I lived. I tilted my head. "What toilet issue?"

"It's been running for days and takes forever to fill the bowl."

"It's been doing that since I moved in. And I didn't call him. He just showed up."

Leo's sad expression didn't change as his massive shoulders rose and fell. "I don't mind taking a look at it."

Junior glanced at me. He'd always have my back, of that I had no doubt. However, as the co-foreman, he had to sort his priorities carefully. "I know things are awkward between you two," he said, "but we've got five people in that bunkhouse with not enough toilets to go around, and it's getting grim. So, Love, I'm sorry, but I'm going to take Leo up on his offer."

Leo turned, his soulful eyes searching mine. Even though I'd just been bitchy to him, he still wanted to know how I felt. I hated how gooey my insides went the second he showed concern.

"I understand," I said.

Leo, out of words, went to his truck and strapped a tool belt around his strong hips. When I'd known him before, he'd still had a bit of baby fat, but the years of hard work had carved out serious cheekbones and solid muscle.

While he no doubt could've had his choice of lovers over the years, something in his eyes told me he hadn't taken advantage of his looks in that way. He studied me like I was the only thing in the whole wide world. Like he'd waited for me. Would always wait for me.

I didn't know how to feel about that.

Junior and I led the way to the bunkhouse, with Junior silently shooting me concerned looks. Finally, I hissed, "Stop looking at me like I'm about to break. I'm fine. It's fine."

I wasn't fine, but Junior was kind enough not to contradict me.

Inside, three of our guys were sitting on the couch, watching highlights on ESPN. In addition to managing the land well, Trip, Joaquin, and my brother had made excellent personnel choices. Everyone was here to work hard, make money, and build a life. I was the youngest by a few years, but they'd taken me in and accepted me, pronouns and all. Even Marlin, the oldest guy in the place, never misgendered me.

Junior led the way to the bathroom. As soon as Leo entered, he whistled under his breath. "This is definitely a toilet that's been used by a lot of men. And Love."

I huffed a small laugh. I'd forgotten how much I used to enjoy his blunt observations. Junior shot me a look, and I wiped the smile from my face. "Shut up."

"Didn't say anything."

"Yeah, well, your facial expressions are really fucking loud."

He hip-checked me, a brotherly move that was as forceful as it was affectionate. "I have no control over that."

I rolled my eyes, and we watched from the doorway as Leo removed the toilet lid and examined the innards, like he knew what he was doing. That shouldn't have been sexy, given the task at hand, but it was.

After a moment, he glanced at us with a grimace. "I hoped a couple of quick adjustments would do the trick, but I should really replace the entire flush assembly. I don't suppose there's a hardware store around here?" His eyes slid over me and landed on Junior.

I wanted to be offended, but he'd assumed correctly. I wasn't handy in the way my brothers were.

Junior nodded. "Yeah, Jennings Fencing Supply over by the Broken Oak. You know where that is?"

Leo's eyes snapped to mine. We'd spent many Saturday afternoons at that bar, practically in each other's pockets, pressing against one another from hip to toe and fooling no one. "Yeah, I know where that is. Hopefully, they'll have what I need."

Junior held up his hand and grabbed his phone from his back pocket. His thumbs went to work, and a few seconds later, he had his response. "Yep. Justin's in today—he'll have the part waiting for you."

"Awesome," Leo said, clearing his throat. "I'll be right back." He brushed past me on his way out the door, like maybe I was a ghost he could've walked right through.

Junior rubbed his chin as he watched him go. "That was awkward."

I didn't mind being the youngest or the smallest Underwood, but in that moment, I fervently wished I was big enough to give my brother a noogie.

Not wanting to get into another conversation, I split off into the kitchen. It was my night to cook, so I got to it. Junior kissed the side of my head on his way out and told me to have Leo send an update when he got things fixed.

I called after him that I would, then decided on a menu of homemade fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans to keep my brain occupied. That this was Leo's favorite meal was neither here nor there.

The guys drifted into the dining area, practically drooling. "We're getting fried chicken tonight? Sweet ."

Most were content to appreciate the delicious smells coming from the kitchen, but Marlin—that old jackass—gave me a major case of side-eye. "Interesting choice for dinner tonight." He sidled up next to me. "I hear Leo's helping with our toilet situation."

Marlin had been at Wild Heart the first time Leo came around and had seemingly put together two and two. Only, somehow, he'd ended up with five.

"Shut up," I said, leaving the bite out of my words. "It's not like that."

He moved away from me, grinning as he held up his hands. "You got it."

Muttering, I refocused on dinner, and despite Marlin's ribbing, I was pleased with the results.

We were just about to start eating when Leo walked through the door, part in hand. His eyes fell to the food on the table, and his Adam's apple bobbed. "I'll get this done and be out of y'all's hair as soon as I can."

That he wanted to complete the repair as efficiently as possible told me that his character had not altered. He'd matured, that much was obvious, but the things that made him Leo had never changed. I doubted they ever would.

As we ate dinner, curses started flowing from the bathroom.

Marlin finished up his plate, then poked his head in. "Need help with something, son?"

"Hey, Marlin. By the way, I don't like being called son. Or kid. It's a bad trigger," Leo said, never one to dress up his words. "And… thanks, but I don't think anyone can help me with this. Though I'd like to have a conversation with whoever installed this toilet, that's for damn sure."

I wiped my hands clean and abandoned half of my meal. "What's wrong?"

Leo scowled at the toilet. "What's wrong is that whoever installed this thing had shit for brains and didn't even properly bolt it to the goddamned floor. There's also a leak back here from improperly tightened hoses."

"Can it be fixed?" I asked, careful not to assume that he'd be the one to do the fixing.

"Yes, but I'd like to pull everything out and reinstall it. Properly this time."

My eyes widened. "You'd do that?"

His answering look was just shy of a glare. "Of course I would. Though… it's going to take me a couple of hours, and I'll have to turn off the water for part of that time."

I called out to my bunkmates, letting them know the score. They agreed that they'd rather deal with things now than keep limping along.

"We'd really appreciate it," I told Leo. "Also, Junior said to call him and send the invoice to Trip so that he can get you paid right away."

Leo's glare deepened. "I'm not charging you, Love."

I shivered when he affectionately shortened my name like that. Most everyone called me Lovett, but I could hear that Leo meant it.

Before I could protest, Leo's stomach growled.

"If the repair's gonna take a long time, you should eat first," I told him.

"I don't wanna impose."

"No imposition," Marlin said, butting in. "Lovett made plenty."

Leo sent me a querying look, and I nodded. I made him a plate, and he washed up and ate it in a matter of minutes. Not gonna lie, my ears may have gotten a little hot when he groaned around a piece of fried chicken.

Once he'd finished his dinner, Leo spent the next few hours cursing—loudly and with increasingly inventive phrases—the names of whoever'd installed our plumbing.

"I swear, these assholes should have their licenses suspended."

"I'd give my left nut for a properly tightened bolt."

"Bunch of duck fuckers."

Those of us who stayed up got a real comedy show, especially when Leo found the shower leak my roommates had stopped noticing before I moved in. After resetting the toilet, Leo stomped through the house and checked everything, muttering about shoddy workmanship the entire time.

I had the distinct feeling that he was offended on my behalf. I was loath to admit this, but every one of his bitten-off curses felt like a warm, sweary hug.

By midnight, every bit of plumbing in the place ran perfectly, and he'd even upgraded the faucet in the kitchen with a spare he had in his truck.

When he went to pack his things, I stood in front of him. "You know my rule. You're not driving back tonight."

" Love ," he said, sounding exhausted.

Yeah, he wasn't going anywhere.

"We have an extra room, Leo. Just stay the night and drive home in the morning."

His eyes were unreadable, but he set down his toolbox by the front door. "I'd like to take a shower, then, if you don't mind."

"Of course. Do you need something to sleep in? Kris is about Junior's size."

He shook his head. "I've got some sweats in the truck. Though… I could use a toothbrush, if there's a spare."

"Pretty sure the Goodnights keep a stash in the hallway closet."

Leo took care of his nighttime routine, then exited the bathroom in just sweatpants, using a towel to blot his wet hair. My eyes went to the thin, faded ‘love' that he'd had tattooed on his collarbone. I was surprised—but not—that he hadn't covered it.

Letting my eyes travel down his chest, I nearly choked on my tongue at the sight of all those muscles.

"Thanks for the toothbrush."

I nodded, realizing that he had not one clue how hot he was. He was ripped, yet he walked around like he had a beer belly. Also, the "sweats" he was sporting were more like thin lounge pants, and they were heckin' obscene.

I'd always suspected that he was proportionate everywhere, but now I knew it for a fact. Also, I was pretty sure he wasn't circumcised.

Not that it mattered.

"No problem," I said. "I'll toss your clothes in the washer before I go to sleep."

I started toward my room, then stopped when his hand fell on my shoulder. I ignored the fizzy, bubbly feeling inside and faced him.

"Love, I just want you to know that?—"

I cut him off with a quick gesture, an act of self-preservation. "Please don't. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you fixing everything, but I?—"

It was his turn to cut me off with a sharp nod. "I hear you." With one last glance from those luminous eyes, he stepped into the guest room and shut the door. I stared at his door for a long moment, then went to my room.

Gah.

Everything about tonight felt broken, like I was walking around with someone else's shoes on the wrong feet and my clothes on backward. It was all upside down and inside out, and all I knew for sure was that I ached with the memory of long, rambling conversations and being held in arms so gentle and safe that I'd never wanted to leave them.

I miss you, Love.

Me too, Leo.