Epilogue

epilogue

THREE MONTHS LATER

Jules

"I'd warn you about moving too fast, but you've been in love with Ginger forever," Scout said as she and Roly picked up my couch and walked it into my new house.

Barely a day had gone by when I hadn't seen Ginger since we'd gotten together. We'd been spending weekends at my place, and I'd been volunteering at Lupe more and more.

Since I worked from home, it made sense for me to be the one to move—which meant acquiring Leo as a housemate. Ginger was worried that Leo would be too much for me, but I understood him. While he was a total golden retriever, there was a sadness about him that he couldn't quite hide. His unrequited love for Lovett had never dimmed, and I understood that entirely.

Also, he was a night owl, like me, so he and I had already had a rhythm going, staying up late, playing video games, talking about life.

While some found his words too blunt, I appreciated his honesty. It did mean, however, that Ginger and I would be saving our spicier encounters for times when he was out of the house.

Ginger, it seemed, loved nothing more than to support my sexual leanings. Once we started dating, I graduated from a bedside sex toy cabinet to an entire section of our walk-in closet. She knew I liked my sparkly dildos, and the display looked like an art installation.

A very, very naughty art installation.

While I had occasionally worn cages before, something about wearing one for Ginger was surprisingly gender affirming. She'd gifted me a beautiful handcrafted cage, which she'd upgraded with a hollow urethral plug attachment. I wore it often.

Ginger understood that having my cock trapped in the sissy cage with my hole stretched open felt like having the pussy I wished I'd been born with. She continued to assure me that I could do whatever I wanted with my body, and that, more than anything, made me feel safe and seen.

We went to a trans counselor together, at her insistence, because she wanted to make sure she understood me as well as she could. The counselor helped me to explain how important my imagination was, and that it was a valid form of gender affirmation and self-care.

Just as importantly, whenever I felt a little insecure, Ginger was quick to reassure me. She never made me feel too needy or like a burden. "It's the easiest thing in the world for me to tell you how much I love you, how beautiful you are, and yes, that I view you as the woman you are" she would say, adoration spilling from her eyes.

She'd also opened up to me about the things that had happened to her. The things she'd been forced to do. And God, it was awful.

She'd explained that having a good life sometimes brought up the worst of the trauma because she could never quite square feeling safe and comfortable while others suffered. Occasionally a terrible memory or sensation in her body would resurface, and the guilt would overwhelm her. She had a pretty good process for working through a shame spiral, and she'd call her therapist if she needed help. I held her through all of it, even the nights when she cried herself to sleep. And in the mornings, I assured her that I'd hold her for the rest of her life.

She continued to amaze me with her comfort around sex, but it wasn't always smooth sailing. As she'd warned me, there were times when she had to back off from a particular act, even if it was something she'd previously been comfortable with.

We shared the same sort of insecurities about asking for accommodations, but maybe that was why we worked together. Accommodations, we realized, weren't huge roadblocks. They were necessary to maintain our intimacy, and we ebbed and flowed with them.

I had never known that it could be this way, and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world that I'd found someone who accepted me fully and proudly.

Ginger

One year later

"Happy move-in anniversary, sweetheart," I said, pulling Jules in for a kiss.

She smiled. "A whole year of living together. Did you think you'd ever be able to manage it?"

"It's been the easiest year of my life," I said, and I meant every word. I was, hands down, the luckiest woman in the world to be loved by Jules Martinez. "In fact," I said, kneeling in front of her as I pulled the ring box from my pocket, "I'd love to live with you for the rest of my life, if you'll let me."

Her eyes went big, and tears began to fall. "Really?"

"Really. Jules Martinez, will you marry me?"

" Yes ." She joined me on the floor, throwing her arms around me. "Yes, yes, yes."

As I slipped the ring on her finger, she had a question for me. "My family loves you and views you as one of our own. Would you take my last name?"

I hadn't considered it, but the second the words left her mouth, I knew my answer. "I can't imagine anything better than being a Martinez," I choked out, dragging her into another hug. "And to have little baby Martinezes running around sounds like every dream come true." I paused, remembering how pregnant bellies could sometimes trigger dysphoria for her. "Or we can adopt, if you'd rather I didn't…"

She palmed my belly, her smile crinkling the skin around her eyes. "I can't wait to see you pregnant with our baby."

I placed my hand over hers. "Me, too."

Four months later

This morning, as a wedding gift, Jules handed me a folder with a bow on it. According to the papers inside, she'd purchased Major's house. She promised that Leo could live with us as long as he wanted to and that we would raise a family here.

I was speechless. She was wearing the wedding tiara that'd been my gift to her, but it paled in comparison to what she'd just given me: safety and a home that would always be ours.

I did, however, have one additional gift that I'd been saving for our honeymoon. Maybe I could give it to her a little early.

"Don't think you're gonna show me up," I joked. "I refuse to be out-gifted."

Jules raised a perfectly tweezed eyebrow. "Oh, really? You think you can do better than a house?"

I shot her a wink and dropped my hand to my belly.

It took her a second to understand the gesture. Then her eyes widened dramatically. "Are you serious ?"

I nodded, emotion suddenly clogging my throat.

She threw her arms around me. "You're right. This is so much better."

We'd talked about it, and I'd had my IUD taken out a month and a half ago, thinking we'd try for a honeymoon baby. As it happened, our little one had been impatient to get started.

Just as we were deciding to keep the happy news to ourselves, Leo, looking dashing in his morning coat, came down the stairs. "Wait, are y'all getting married because you knocked her up?"

Oh, Leo.

We cracked up and explained that the baby planning had already been in the works. That said, we weren't worried that he would tell people before we were ready. He'd matured quite a bit over the last couple of years, though Jules and I mourned the fact that he'd lost some of his shine along the way. Even today, he seemed to have a dark cloud over him.

"Leo, are you okay?" I asked, wondering if all this wedded bliss was hurting him.

He shook his head, and my stomach dropped.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head again. "Nothing, really. I just realized that Love is probably graduating this month."

"Are you going to ask your friends out at the ranch?"

He shook his head. "Nah. I think that part of my life is over, and… I'm busy getting my master plumber license. I don't need heart stuff right now."

I tugged on his elbow until he opened his arms for a hug. "However you feel is totally valid," I told him. "But don't shut off your heart just because you think you might get hurt."

His smile was sad. "Who knows," he said, a slight crack in his voice. "Maybe I'll get as lucky as you did."

"I know you will, my friend. Now, stop bringing down my wedding day."

His smile, which seemed more genuine, grew. "You know I love a good reception."

Jules, who'd been a party planner right after her stint in the Marines, had put together a small, elegant wedding for us at the Meeting House, and it was everything we could have asked for. She'd combined our favorite colors and our favorite flowers, and everything about it felt like us .

More importantly, we were surrounded by our Lost Boys, her immediate family, and Leo. All the people we loved most in this world.

As I looked into her eyes to say my vows, I knew in the depths of my soul that I would love her till the day I died. Not because I'd promised to do so, but because I couldn't imagine my life without her in it.

She'd shown me over and over again that life could be beautiful.

I would love her, and our children, until my very last breath.