Chapter 6

Chapter

Six

GOVEK

T he words felt like fire on his tongue. Choking him. Suffocating him.

And they would not stop coming.

“Tavggol was there to fucking trade . He trusted them—enough that he refused Karthoc’s protection—and on the final meeting, they stole the boons he had brought in good faith and butchered him like an animal .”

Miranda’s eyes went huge, her body flinched and shuddered, and she gripped her hands together about her chest.

Fuck , he should never have lost himself. Should never have spoken of this.

His hands trembled, worthless claws curling as he remembered that day. He could feel the soldiers’ ticky blood. Their bones cracking, snapping like twigs with a satisfying crunch. Their gut-wrenching wails.

Spirals of magic had made his movements quick, his aim sure. Conjuring with the Fades made him even more deadly, helped him cut down every wretch faster and more brutally than any other warrior orc ever could.

He’d do it again in an instant .

He was a monster.

“Sit down here.”

The order came crisp in his blistering mind, and he snapped up to find Miranda pointing to the couch. He gulped. He could not get close to her now. Not while his rage was so thick.

“Govek.”

“Stay back,” he snapped. He needed to leave, to escape, to run into the dark woods and vent his fury on logs and dirt until he was settled again. Until he could gain back control. Until he was certain his magic was soothed. He could already feel it burning hot in his chest, gripping around his thundering heart. The light of the Fades was growing at the back of his mind, threatening to blind him.

Tight warmth pressed into his torso.

Govek jerked backward, but Miranda’s grip on him tightened. Her face was buried in his chest, her arms firm around his middle.

The fuck?

“Miranda, I’m not?—”

“Sit down, please .”

Her voice was thick and his ears rang from the sound. Her body was trembling.

“You’re afraid,” he said, wanting to pull her off him but unable to touch her with his clawed hands. At least the vile heat in his chest was soothing.

Soothed by Miranda’s gentle warmth. He took a deep breath.

She looked up at him and his breath hitched at the sorrow he saw in her face. Her eyes were flooding with tears, her red lips quivering.

Fuck .

“Sit,” she said, as the word broke.

And he did.

She clung to him the whole way, and the moment he was seated, she crawled into his lap, straddled his thighs, pressed her chest into his, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “That must have been... I’m so so sorry.”

His eyes burned and he blinked rapidly, attempting to hide the unusual emotion.

The Fade light at the back of his mind dwindled away.

She ran her hands through his hair, stroking it. The soft touch was in such contrast to his usual ruthless pulling, it skittered goosebumps along his scalp.

“I think you did the right thing.”

He lost his breath but managed a rough croak. “What?”

“Killing those men who tortured your brother to death.” His mind stilled as he attempted to process her words. “I think that was the right thing to do. People who can torture others without remorse are too dangerous. By killing them, you saved every other person who would have been subjected to that fate.”

No. That wasn’t right. All lives were precious. Sacred. He was born under the Great Rove Tree. He could conjure the Fades magic. It should not be possible for him to kill anyone.

“Govek,” she said softly, cupping his face in her warm hands. Her soft fingers grazed the side of his temples. “I am so so sorry that your brother died.”

His throat constricted and her face grew blurry.

She pressed her forehead to his. “I’m sorry you had to see something so horrible. I’m sorry that you didn’t make it to him in time. I’m sorry that those people stole him from you.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and put her hands in his hair again. “But I’m not sorry you killed them. And you shouldn’t be either.” Her fingertips slid toward the back of his head. She pressed her fingers in slow circles at the base of his skull, just the way she had in the outer woods when she’d examined his countenance for the first time. When she’d looked deep into his face and accepted his appearance despite how loathsome most found it. Especially humans.

She was accepting him now in the same way. Accepting a wholly different part of him.

A part he never thought anyone would welcome.

Govek shuddered, closed his burning eyes. Let her gentle nature soak into him. He didn’t deserve this kindness. He knew that. Not after all that he had done.

But... he couldn’t bring himself to refuse it.

Miranda tucked her head into his shoulder, relaxing.

She wasn’t going to move. She wouldn’t leave him.

And that support forced him to drop the walls he’d built around his sorrow.

For what felt like an eternity, Govek grappled with the dark weight pressing down on him. Pulling him under. Burying him in the heat of rage and the icy grip of grief.

And eventually, that grip eased, and Miranda’s gentle touch took its place.

He regained his senses. The fire in him ebbed to embers. His twisting guts settled. His claws slunk back into his fingers.

Miranda sat up, her face no longer blurred, her smile too sweet. And his heart skipped.

“Feel better?” she asked, and he could only blink and nod.

Fuck, he did . He actually did .

“Is there anything else you need right now?” she asked and fuck , his throat grew tight. He shook his head.

He just needed her to stay right here with him.

Forever .

She gave him another sweet smile before looking around.

“Your house is so pretty. Viravia’s house didn’t have all these carvings.” She reached out and touched the leaf detailing he’d etched into the wooden arm of the couch.

His chest swelled with an unusual sensation he couldn’t name. “I did them.”

“What?”

The warmth in his chest bloomed, and he focused on it, using the sensation to drown out what remained of his rage and sorrow. He didn’t want these first few moments in his home to be ruined by his own vile, uncontrolled nature. “I carved these. Took many years and a lot of patience.” Working with the grain and the life of the tree was difficult. It required the use of magic to sense the tree’s life and ensure it remained hale as the wood was chipped away.

“Govek, that’s amazing. Wow, just... you did the walls too? And the detailing on the cabinets? And that coffee table?”

“Coffee?” Govek asked as Miranda moved from his lap to look closer at the detailing on the low ovular table in front of the couch.

Her head snapped up. “Oh no. You guys don’t have coffee ?”

“No.”

“Oh, I’m gonna be in trouble in the morning. You must have something that helps you wake up?”

His brows furrowed. “There are many herbs that can aid with rousing when one is unconscious. Hovget, our healer, grows and stores them.”

“That’s not...oh gosh. We’ll figure that out later. Is that your bedroom?”

“Our bedroom,” he said without thinking.

She shot him a smile. “ Our bedroom.”

He followed her in, lighting the candles along the wall so she could examine the space.

She wasted no time flopping down on the bed with a huff.

“Oh, my god. A real bed! With a mattress and everything. I never thought I would be so happy to see a bed. Wow, this bed frame is incredible. Did you carve it too?”

“Yes.” Her fingers traced the mountain scene he’d carved into the headboard. He felt guilty at how much he was enjoying her compliments. After everything he had confessed to her, he had yet to admit he deserved them.

He had committed a whole lifetime of wrongs. His furious outbursts of rage-laced magic had long been the reason his clan despised him.

How would Miranda react when she finally discovered the truth of all he had done? The clan knew of her now. There was no stopping her from speaking with them and no preventing them from warning her of his past atrocities.

He gulped past the lump in his throat. He needed to tell her everything but where should he even start?

What he had done at Clairton was certainly the most heinous act he’d ever committed. It made his other wrongs look trivial. But Miranda had embraced him after he’d admitted it. He could still feel her warmth and acceptance soothing away his deepest aches.

He had to work hard to keep from trembling under the force of such kindness. His knees were almost weak with relief.

As she rolled onto her side so she could more easily take in the image of the mountains and trees he’d carved, the cloak wrapped tight around her, accentuating the globe of her ass.

His blood heated.

Fuck, he really was a beast.

“Is that your only place to store stuff in here?” she asked, sitting up and pointing to the large trunk at the end of the bed.

“Yes.” He barely had anything in it. What if she wanted a present? Perhaps he could quickly carve her something. She seemed to like that at least.

“You must not have much clothing. Not that I mind that.”

Heat pooled in his gut, cutting off his worry as she passed him to go to the washroom. “What’s in here?”

He went to light the torches so she could continue exploring. Her delight at everything had him almost relaxed.

Seeing her in his home, smiling as she discovered new things, caused an odd sensation in his chest. One that made his thoughts drift toward the future. A future where they could create a home together .

Warmth spread through him.

“Oh wow. This is pretty nice. It’s bigger than Viravia’s. Though she probably has two, huh? Since her house is two levels?”

“She does.” He watched as she examined the wood sink that probably needed another sap treatment to keep it waterproof.

He used to use sap on Tavggol’s sinks as well. His brother always forgot until it was long past due. Had Viravia done it recently? He wasn’t certain how to ask to offer aid.

“So...” Miranda paused, searching his face. He tried to hide the remaining bits of his turmoil.

Judging from how her face fell, he wasn’t successful.

“Come here, tough guy.”

He gulped and went to her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and forced him to lean down close to her face.

The warmth of her lips collided with his. Her crisp honey scent swirled up into his senses, bursting in his mind. She teased his lips, nibbling.

Fuck, she felt so blasted good. He was about to scoop her up when she broke away with a little chuckle. “We need to teach you how to kiss.”

“I’m not pleasing you?”

“Oh, you are. I just want you to please me more .”

“I will do anything you ask, Miranda,” Govek said, blood heating. “I will give you any boons you wish.”

Her eyes softened, and he helplessly reached to cup her warm face in his hands. Her skin was so smooth, and her eyes were so gentle. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined he could be looked upon with such gentleness.

He would do anything to keep her. Anything.

He gulped hard. “Just speak your desires, Miranda. I would move the whole of Faeda for your whims.”