Chapter 11

Chapter

Eleven

There was more than one reason I didn't like to talk on the phone. Long conversations with my mothers on the other end were one of those reasons.

I only ever managed to see them around the holidays.

During the holidays, I could sneak in and out with the rest of my pack, and they could take on most of the grunt work of making sure my mothers knew I was perfectly fine and no longer falling apart like they thought I must"ve been ever seen three years ago. They"d been walking on eggshells only my pack could seem to make them forget. Everyone but me would be drunk on thick, disgusting eggnog, meaning at least I didn't have to pretend to insert myself into their never-ending conversation and questions about just how well I was doing lately.

No one paid attention to the most messed-up person in the room when he was the only one left sober.

Unfortunately, that wasn"t the case right now with the weekly phone calls that sometimes were worse than the ones I had with my therapist ever since I got back from my final mission overseas—unfortunately not the way I'd hoped.

My mother laughed about what happened in their book club last week over the phone, sharing it on speaker. The sound was good to hear ever since their mate, the man I considered my father, passed away two years back.

Because when it rained, it poured.

I don't know what I would do if one of my pack members died like that in an accident so suddenly. I could barely understand it when my father died.

I"d probably fuck up the whole world in one way or another.

I grew up vastly different from the rest of my pack mates. If the warm house and smiling mothers were any indication, everything else was. None of the others grew up in a pack like my family's. Strong and horribly, sometimes disgustingly, in love.

"Are you sure you're alright Marko?" Cindy asked over the phone. She was one of the two alphas that lived in the house before my father passed, paused her smile at my silence for the past five minutes.

I rubbed a hand down my face as I sat on the edge of my bed. "Fine. Tired."

"You've been sleeping a lot."

"I've been sleeping fine." How would she know how I've been sleeping? They lived a thousand miles away.

Of course, I hadn't slept in days. At least not more than a few hours. I got into spurts that way. Eventually, I'd fall back into a pattern where I'd manage to at least get through the night.

Melissa, who was an omega, cleared her throat as she changed the subject. "Tell us more about how everything is going with your pack."

"It's fine." I adjusted the phone against my ear. "Demetri's been tying up loose ends since his father decided he wanted to transfer a portion of his businesses over to him no matter what we do," I explained.

Though he was trying to get his bearings as far away as he could from that man, it was impossible to fully get out from under him we've been finding.

The best thing was to use those resources in the best of ways.

"That's nice."

"Not really." I shrugged.

"How's everyone else doing? I know that a year or so ago you all were talking about putting yourself in the position to find an omega," said Cindy, prying.

I shook my head. "Liam's still pushing for it."

"And you aren't?"

"It would be… nice, I guess."

"Omegas are nice," Melissa smiled.

"It just hasn't worked out. We're good as we are," I clarified, stiffly.

"Of course, you are, sweetheart. We were just curious if you were still looking. Sometimes the best things happen though when you stop looking and let them come to you. It's fun that way too," said Melissa. I could hear her smile. "Like the best surprise."

"Just look at us," said my mother.

"You two met doing fuck knows what at a concert," I reminded them. "It's different."

"When you know, it's fate," Melissa insisted.

"Now you sound like Cal," I muttered, thinking about our constantly cheery beta.

Glancing back at the clock, I thought he would've been back from his little date by now. I hadn't heard anything through the bond all night, though ours was more muted than his and Liam's for example.

I figured that was a good thing.

"Cal knows what he's talking about then," Melissa said.

I shook my head but couldn't help the small curve of my lips at the two of them.

"I'm going to bed," I said.

"All right. It's good to hear from you. Check in soon. Sleep well."

"Night, Mom."

Clicking off the phone I leaned back on the bed and took a deep breath. Nerves buzzed under my skin. For some reason, I felt the need to bust out itching beneath my skin for some reason as if I was missing something. Forgetting something.

My nose twitched as I sniffed, catching an odd scent in the air.

That made no sense.

I flexed my hand out in the air above me, stretching out the joints and dark tattoos that spun up the back of my palm. The inked rose bloomed and withered as I reached towards the nightstand where I plugged my phone in to charge.

The door across from me creaked open. "Cal?"

He walked inside, leaving the door cracked an inch. "I think I fucked up, man."

I lifted myself onto my elbows as I watched him pace back and forth in front of me. That wasn't out of the ordinary for him, but his face was clenched in concentration.

"You think?" I asked.

"I fucked up man. I'm a massive screwing fuck-up," muttered Cal, distraught. With him so close I could feel the frustration and hint of fear running through the bond.

I rubbed my chest, raising my eyebrows. "What did you do? Is everyone ok?"

"I just can't believe I'm such an asshole."

"So you needed me to remind you?"

"Now you're being the asshole."

Who was surprised?

I ran my hand through the longer pieces of my hair that dipped over my ears. Already I was getting irritated with it. I needed to chop it all off again.

"Seriously, what's going on, beta?" I asked.

"You know I said that I was going to see someone for a date? Well, I went out with her tonight."

"Okay?"

"I know it's weird and I know I'm not the best judge of character by any means." Cal rambled before finding his words. "She's nice and smells good."

Was that what was tickling my nose? A hint of honey and something else sweet I couldn't quite put my finger on. I licked my lips.

"I like her, Marko."

"Okay?" I was unsure where this was going. "What? Does Liam have a problem with it? If he already said you could go and now is being a pussy about it, tell him to back off."

Cal barked a laugh.

The sound brought a small smile to my lips. If Cal was laughing that had to mean whatever he screwed up wasn't completely beyond repair. Not like when he was trying to sort through tricky code or was struggling to get into a system no one else could at work.

"No, I just did something stupid. I went out with her and we had a great time. I kissed her on the way home and she sort of felt my bond mark."

I blinked, waiting for more before it dawned on me. "Cal."

"I know."

"You didn't tell the girl you were already in a pack?" I huffed. "What the hell?"

"I know."

I didn't think he did. "Are you embarrassed of us?"

"Of course not."

"Ashamed then?"

"You know that's a shit question. No."

I shook my head. Cal was already beating himself up over it. "She deserved to know what she was getting into, especially when it comes to packs."

"Yeah, I uh." Cal paused. "I don't know what's up with her exactly, but I don't think she's had the best history with alphas. The moment she realized..."

If she had a history, I could only imagine the girl jumped ship faster than Cal could ever clean up his own mistakes.

"I messed up. Now I don't know what's going to happen," he said.

"You're going to make it right."

"I am?" He didn't sound so sure.

"You always somehow manage it," I said.

A buzz sounded in the back of Cal's pocket.

His eyes widened as if in shock as he checked it. His feet stopped walking. "She just messaged me."

"What did she say? That she never wants to see your ugly mug again?"

"She says she wants to try again and see me." He grinned. "Seriously, I thought I really messed this up."

Before I could stop him, Cal turned around and flopped back into my bed next to me. "I'm still pretty sure your bed is the most comfortable."

"Do you ever sleep on your own?

"I can." He peaked an eye open. "If you want me to."

I rolled my eyes and laid back down.

At one point I used to fight any of them sleeping near me at all, but at this point, I didn't want to worry about it. At the very least, they knew better than to pull me from my dreams if they came for me late at night whether they were here or not.

I reached for the lamp to turn it off before closing my eyes with my beta tapping away on his phone next to me, nerves and contentment blurring back through the bond.

Settled.

Suit yourself.