Chapter 37

Itried to stay in bed, but I was too antsy to sit still after the first few hours. Though, I needed to keep my cool. Otherwise, Stephanie would know something was up. I wouldn"t get my chance to break out if I lost my wit, so being completely relaxed and stable was my ammo. I had thrown the art pad back in the drawer and had limped my way to the window, and haven"t moved since.

This was something I did almost all day, so I blended right in. I stared at the trees as they cracked up to light from the storm, it was much closer now. I wracked my brain for a logical plan, only coming up with none. There was no way I would survive walking from here to the forest, let alone to the middle, to the lake… where she was. And where I hoped he would be. I jolted and then screeched a frightful yelp from the crack of thunder that hit something near the mansion. Everything turned black in an instant.

"Fuck. We"ve lost power." Stephanie cursed before speaking again. "Are you okay?" I huffed at her unintentionally, why does everyone including myself keep asking me that?

"Yes. I"m just at the window."

"I'm going to have to get the generator going. I need to watch your monitor, you've been up and down all evening." She said. Her voice of course concerned, genuinely worried about my wellbeing. In the corner of my eye, I could see from her silhouette that she was fumbling with something under her bed. I hated being attached to that monitor so often.

But she was right, I had been on edge since telling myself that I was getting the fuck out of here, and from… the shower. A smile turned my lips but I hid it, biting them in the process. This couldn"t get any better, a storm and her leaving the room in one go? There was a God!

"Oh. Okay then." I responded inconspicuously. Though, I wasn"t good at it.

A bright light flared from a phone, and then her face lit up as she dialled a number, scoffing at whoever she had called didn't answer. I didn"t even realise she had a phone up here, she had never been on it. She dialled another number and muttered something. No answer I presumed.

"Shit." She hissed. "Who are you trying to call?" I asked. This better not fuck up any of my plans. Not that I had one, other than get the fuck out. "Eli and Caine. Those idiots won't answer their fucking phones. I need that generator going."

"What about Huxley?" What about Ruby? What about Damon? She laughed, though it was insincere. Completely ignoring me. I wondered if he even had a phone.

"I'll call Soren… Honey? Yes, I'm okay. We need the generator going… you're where?… oh, fucks sake Ren. Fine. Okay. Okay. Yes. Bye." Stephanie pouted, tapping the red end button, and the light disappeared again. "Everyone's at to the club, fucking idiots. In this weather? I'm going to have to get the generator going myself. You're not going to do anything stupid are you?" She scowled.

"No." I whispered, merely a squeak. Yes. I was. That was the biggest lie I had ever told myself, and it made my heart flutter with both excitement and fear.

"I mean it, Pierce. You're not in a good way. I know you… wander. Where you shouldn"t sometimes." Stephanie was genuinely concerned for my health and well-being. But fuck her right now, she had no idea what I was going through. No idea how much I would put myself through for this man. Okay, fine. She had some idea.

"Remember what I said." Stephanie reminded. "I remember. I've had a brain bleed, how silly do you think I am? I'm safe here."

Lying was hard, but that last sentence sounded convincing. Being untruthful was just not exactly in my nature. But I think I pulled it off, she darted out the door quicker than I had the chance to blink. This was my chance, and I couldn't fuck it up like every other time I tried to escape. Though, this time I'd be running to him, not from him. Make that make fucking sense.

I was a walking, breathing destruction, my reflection would always be a constant reminder of what I had been through. Who would want to live the rest of their life like that? Not me. At least that was what I kept telling myself, it gave me the extra mental shift to go through with this.

Acting entirely on adrenaline, I headed for the door, sliding my way along the wall blindly in the dark. I gasped, something green and glowing caught my eye as I staggered passed the closet. There was a bowl of jewellery on a pedestal tucked to the back. I broke into a smile that I knew for sure reached my eyes, subconsciously biting at my lip. It was his amulet. Had he left it here?

I put it on without hesitating and a breathy moan parted my lips. It was cold against my skin, but it felt nice. Because it was his. The necklace was big on me, it had dangled over his chest when he wore it but with my short torso, it hung above my belly. I felt like I had a piece of him on my skin. I caressed it with my fingertip tenderly, remembering his kiss on my lips. I was doing this for him. Its time.

I turned on my feet to leave, only again becoming bewildered at what was before me. What the actual fuck? There was a stunning, emerald green, silk dress hanging right in front of me. Almost a replica version of the one he had me wear to the ball. Green was my favorite color. I drew in through my nose, inhaling everything. Him… all him. But why the dress? Maybe he was waiting for me? Could he be?

Fuck it.

I put it on. I knew that he would like that. I would die pretty. For him. My heart danced from the excitement of hopefully seeing him again. I couldn't wait to tell him I was ready. Ready to accept my passing for him. For his freedom. But, I was more excited to tell him that I loved him. I realized that I had never said those words before. I wondered if he would say it back to me. Come on, Esme, focus.

Shit.

The dress was a halter neck, which had made it easy to slip on, thankfully. I tied it up behind my neck and smoothed the dress down, it was tight around my belly, so it cinched me in nicely. Not that I needed it these days, not with how skinny I was now. I swiveled on my feet and made my way to the shadow"s den.

The corridor was dark, only able to rely on listening out for footsteps. I heard soft rumbles of thunder from far away and trickles of rain. I braced along the wall, pacing faster than my normal steps, but no faster than I could manage. I wanted to make it there alive. I needed to die in the lake, not before it. I decided I would head to the garage and find a car… again. That would at least get me to the edge of the forest, and I could walk the rest of the way. I hope.

My heart raced in my chest. I shuffled my way through the garage, using only muscle memory and swinging arms. I finally found the car I had tried to escape in last time, it was parked in the same spot… as was the key, good. The headlights came to life and the engine roared for me. I realized the garage was almost empty, nothing like it was. There was an SUV missing, the one Damon had put me in I presumed.

The fucker.No motorbike either. Huxley's crushed-up car was still there, pained memories shoved in the corner with it. Then I found the basement door... No, no distractions, get the fuck out. But I was dumbfounded, seeing that the door had been cemented shut. And by the looks of it, it had been for a long time. No more girls. No more slaughter. I guess it made sense, he found me, he didn't need to kill, anymore. His twisted journey was at an end. As was mine.

Shit.How would the panel door open? The power was out. I banged my hands on the steering wheel and sobbed. I would have to walk. But as though a different God was watching, it began to open and the garage lights flickered back on. Either Stephanie had gotten the generator working or the power went back on. I didn't think, I didn"t hesitate, I slapped my foot with everything I had on the pedal and gunned it the fuck out. The wheels chirped and the scent of burning rubber fuelled my nose, hitting an energetic, thrilled nerve I didn't know I had.

The shiny sports car hounded me up and out of the mansion in great speeds, and churned up the grass as I fled across the garden in the pouring rain. How in the ever-loving fuck do you drive this thing? It was faster than I could comprehend the direction in which we were going. I pulled slightly at the wheel, heading straight to the forest. I didn't have time to flick the wiper blade to brush off the rain on the windshield, I had no clue where the switch was anyway. Alas, in seconds I reached the woodland. I hit the brakes and fled, straight into the trees.

The aroma of pine was putting me in a turmoil of strength to keep going as my legs carried me through the broken sticks, branches, and rugged dirt. The moonlight and cracks of lightning lit the way and booms of thunder radiated up my spine. The soil was wet under my feet as they pounded into the ground. Every step was blanketed with desperation and need. Like I was running for my life, like I had done all that time ago. Only I was running to my un-life, willingly.

The rain was cold against my skin, but I knew the deeper I went the more sheltered I would be. My adrenaline started to wear off and I began to slow, I had pushed myself too hard, too fast. Soon coming to the fact that my head was pounding, and a ringing in my ear whined. Periods of dizziness threatened my vision and balance but were gone as fast as they appeared.

I winced and let out a deep sigh, leaning on a tree for a breather. I pulled myself together with all the strength I had to reboot my energy, I had such a way to go that I couldn't let up now. Come on, body. Get me to the lake. I imagined what it would be like to be cradled in his arms again… with a different necessity. His arms bound around me, wearing this dress, and his beautiful amulet. His scent, his eyes, his warmth, his… him. I wanted all of him. Everywhere, deeply.

I am broken.His deceptive voice that echoed in my mind gave me the push that I needed, and my heart rate slowed once more. Using the trees as guidance, I kept my pace. Trekking deeper and deeper. My feet pinched from the blows of the sharp, cold wet earth, noticing that it had stopped raining for the time being. Perhaps the storm was now starting to pass? The thunderclaps receded in the distance and the lightning was only barely visible over the tops of the trees. His nonexistent voice echoed again in my brain.

I am incapable of love.

No, you're not, I just needed to show you.