Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Jess was able to pay her portion of the rent, but it meant loading her schedule the following weeks with extra shifts. She kept her head down and focused, avoiding Kevin at all costs. She saw him walk into the store one morning as she worked the register, watching the way his shoulders sagged when he looked at the deserted bakery. She'd snuck away conveniently for her break. She didn't want to hear about the bike shop or his inevitable move home—it wasn't fair of him to dump that on her in the first place.

Toward the end of the month, Jess had enough in her account to pay next month's rent plus some, which released some of the long-held tension in her shoulders. She hated living month-to-month like this, but maybe if she started saving small pockets at a time, she wouldn't feel so strained when a new month rolled along. She decided she would transfer some of that money into savings as she drove home after working a double at Post Road.

She stepped into the apartment, fully expecting a dark room and for Charlie to be in bed, but when she stepped in, she was greeted by the sight of candles, takeout boxes, a bottle of wine, and a smiling Charlie on the couch. He was already in his sweats, his hair a little disheveled, but his expression was bright.

Jess dropped her purse to the floor with a defeated thud. "What's this?"

Charlie flipped open the boxes of food. "Dinner for my Jessie."

She smirked. "You bought me Chinese?"

" And wine," Charlie said, already pouring her a glass as she took a seat next to him. "And don't worry, I paid for it."

She rolled her eyes, but any fighting words left her body at the smell of vegetable lo mein and kung pao chicken. She moaned. "Thank you."

He smirked, reaching in to kiss the corner of her mouth. "That was a fun sound."

She swatted him away. "Food first."

Charlie chuckled. "How was work?"

"Brutal," she grumbled as she took a bite of noodles. "Cory kept me at the register the whole time."

He frowned. "What happened to the bakery?"

Jess paused. "Did I not tell you he closed it down?"

"No, you did not," he replied. He shifted closer to her and reached an arm around her shoulder, kissing her cheek. "I'm sorry, babe, you must be upset."

Babe? Jess took a gulp of her wine, trying to think back to the last time he called her that. Weeks? Months ? "Yeah," she responded with a huff. "It's fine, whatever."

He kissed her again slowly, then started dropping a trail of kisses down her neck. He curled a finger at the collar of her polo, pulling it down as he continued his path.

She took another sip of wine. "My, are we desperate."

"Come on, Jessie," he said into her neck, his breath warm. "It's been so long."

"I know," she sighed, placing her glass down.

She gave in, peeling his T-shirt off his body and running a hand along the side of his abs like she always did, because she knew it made him shiver. She knew exactly what Charlie liked; at this point, it was well practiced. And it was the same for him—he was an expert at extracting her soft moans and frantic touches, shifting her into the positions that were familiar and easy.

Charlie lifted her and carried her up the stairs, stripping off her uniform and laying her down on the bed. It was always good with Charlie, but for the first time, she wondered if there was more. If there was something else they could do to spice things up.

She let him cuddle her after, holding her close underneath their duvet as he planted a lazy kiss at the back of her neck. She let her body go slack, releasing the stiffness that came with standing at the same register and craning her neck back and forth as she mindlessly scanned items on the belt. Charlie traced circles on her stomach with his thumb as she drifted off to sleep.

The sound of pots and pans and a few curse words in the kitchen woke her up the following morning. She bolted upright and checked the clock, realizing that Charlie was already out of bed and doing something in the kitchen before seven in the morning.

She tied her robe tightly around her waist and padded downstairs. She peered into the kitchen and caught Charlie trying to flip a pancake, cursing when it hit the side and folded over.

"Are you… making breakfast ?" she asked, flabbergasted.

"Trying to," he grumbled, pointing to the plate next to him. "But they're coming out a little burnt."

She stepped up next to him, letting him curl an arm around her waist. "It's okay, I like them crispy."

"Liar," he mumbled, sliding another pancake on the plate.

"Is there a special occasion I'm missing or something?" she asked, picking up the plate.

"No, just—" Charlie started. "Sit, I'll be there in a minute."

She frowned but followed his orders, slathering her stack with maple syrup before taking a bite. The pancakes were flat and flavorless, but she didn't comment. He'd been uncharacteristically sweet the past twelve hours, and she didn't want to ruin it. She couldn't help but feel hopeful as he kissed her cheek before sitting down next to her. What if things were finally going to turn around? What if this rough patch they'd been in was finally over?

"What do you think?" he asked, taking a bite.

"They're great, thank you," she said. "Definitely better than my usual piece of toast."

He smirked. "You're welcome."

They ate in silence. Jess chewed methodically as she watched Charlie, his eyes on his plate.

She put her fork down, deciding to break the silence. "Charlie, what's going on?"

He tipped back in his chair, and the mixture of guilt and worry on his face made her chest fall. It was one she was far too familiar with at this point.

She crossed her arms. "Spit it out."

He winced, then ran a palm over his face. "Dad offered me a promotion. A big one."

"Okay…" Jess said, dragging out the word. "And that's a problem because?"

"Because the job is in Garrison."

Her brows shot up. "So you won't be working at Cap's?"

"No," he said, finally looking at her. "He wants me to manage his real estate listings at his firm…at the office in Garrison."

Jess gripped the table in front of her, keeping her eyes on the half-eaten pancakes on her plate, now soggy from the syrup. "What does that mean?"

"That—that I would likely have to move," he said softly. "To Garrison. By the end of the summer."

"That's a forty-five-minute drive from Haverport," Jess said. "That's a really long commute for me."

Charlie's silence had her looking up at him. His cheeks were flushed and he was bouncing his knee under the table. "Or…or you stay here."

Her eyes went wide. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"No—no. Jessie…" He reached for her hands but she pulled them away and tucked them underneath her arms. "We could do long distance or something, maybe just for a little while."

Jess stood up, her arms still crossed. "What does ‘a little while' mean? A few months? A year? Do you not want me to move there with you?"

" I do," he admitted. "He doesn't."

His father . She shook her head, at a loss for words.

"He told me that it might be good for me to be on my own for a little while," Charlie explained in a rush. "He said I could have the job and stay in a brand-new apartment if I did."

"He wants you to leave me," Jess said, rolling her eyes. "Un-fucking-believable."

"No, he never said leave you," Charlie said. "Just…to spend time. On my own."

"In hopes that we'll fizzle out," Jess said. "Because god forbid I be his daughter-in-law."

"That's not fair."

"It isn't?" she squeaked. "Please explain to me how I'm being unfair, Charlie. Please tell me how, after watching my family blow up, he could be so apathetic and cold toward me even though I took his side. And now he wants me to be okay with him trying to drag us apart?"

"He's done a lot for you," Charlie said, holding up his arms and gesturing toward their apartment. " I've done a lot for you."

She coughed out a laugh. "Are you kidding? You couldn't even pay last month's rent!"

"For an apartment that he let you have without any credit score or anything else to your name," Charlie spat. "All I've ever done is take care of you, and he thinks it's unfair that I haven't had the chance to go live my life yet because of it."

Jess took a step back, like she'd been punched in the gut. "You—you think I'm holding you back from living your life?"

Charlie's eyes went wide. "No, he said that, not me—"

"But do you agree with him?" she interrupted. "Do you feel like you haven't been able to live your life?"

He hesitated slightly, then an explanation poured out of his lips. But the hesitation was all she needed. She ignored his words.

"I'm done," she whispered.

"You don't mean that," he argued.

"No, I'm done, it's over," she said. "We're done, Charlie."

Tears trickled down his cheeks, but after weeks of breaking down in front of gas station pumps or hidden away in stock rooms, her thoughts on Dakota and how much they had grown apart, her eyes remained dry. The admission from his father, the truth of what Charlie felt deep down in his heart from that hesitation—even if he was afraid to admit it…Jess knew.

She looked around their apartment, feeling embarrassed by all of it. How long had he felt this way? Had he always felt the need to take care of her, to give up his life for her? Did any of this life she clawed at desperately mean anything to him?

He kept reaching for her but she slapped at his arms, warning him not to come any closer as she stormed up the stairs. She pulled her suitcases out from underneath their bed, covered in a layer of dust, and tuned out the sound of Charlie's pleading. She ripped open the closet and started pulling her clothes off hangers, throwing them into the bag.

"Jessie, stop. Stop !" he yelled.

She paused her haphazard packing for a moment, then shook her head, not allowing herself to do anything for him anymore. "No. I made up my mind. Move to Garrison. You're free of me."

"You know it's not like that," Charlie said. "Please, Jessie, don't go."

"Go live your life, Charlie." She moved on to the dresser and emptied out handfuls of clothes and keepsakes into an old duffel bag. "I'll go live mine."

He crawled onto the bed, trying to reach for her, but she swatted him away, the aggressive motion making the nightstand beside her shake. Her glasses fell and cracked on the hardwood floor.

Her small slap seemed to be his last straw, his begging switching to anger. "This is all pretend anyway," he sneered. "It's not like you have anywhere to go."

She threw on an old stained tee and shimmied into a pair of jeans, then tossed her broken glasses into the bag in front of her and zipped it up. "Yes, I do. I've had a plan in the works for a while."

It wasn't like she'd been the one to make the plan, but her words did what she intended them to. She hated the way she reveled in the wounded look on Charlie's face. She picked up her bags and carried them downstairs.

"But what about the rest of your stuff?" he asked, right on her heels as she entered the bathroom. "You're going to leave it here?"

Jess popped in her contacts, then shoveled the rest of her toiletries into her purse. She snatched her uniform that was tossed on the floor from the previous night, then scanned the apartment. She shook her head, stuffing it in her duffel. "Nope, toss it for all I care. It's all cheap crap anyway."

Charlie gawked at her as Jess threw open the door and popped the trunk of her car, tossing the first few bags in.

"How could you do this to me?" Charlie asked, his words gravely with emotion as Jess grabbed the rest of her stuff from inside. "After all this time?"

She slammed the trunk shut and looked at him, really looked at him. In that gaze she saw the boy she fell in love with, with his sparkling blue eyes and the midnight-black hair she loved to run her hands through. But he wasn't a boy anymore. He was a man, someone completely different from who he was nine years ago, and she was finally ready to admit to herself all of the ways they'd changed over the years. She couldn't live in the past for the rest of her life, wearing the same clothes and doing all of the same things. It was time to grow up and be the woman she was meant to be.

"Do you really think it was going to work, Charlie?" she asked, her voice softer and gentler than before. "Truthfully, where did you think this was going? Did you see us ever leaving this apartment? Getting married, having kids?"

The last bit made her heart twist, thinking of Dakota. She pushed the thought of her family away. One disappointment at a time.

Charlie looked down at his bare feet on the sidewalk.

She wasn't sure what made her do it, but she leaned into the small stroke of gentleness she felt in her heart and reached out to him, cupping his face for a moment. "Me too. We tried hard to hold on to something that was never really meant to be."

She dropped her hand and got into her car, then pulled away from the apartment and the life she always thought she wanted, and toward something that felt a lot scarier: a life she never expected.

Jess stood on Calvin's porch, listening to laughter inside, remembering it was Memorial Day. Of course this was the moment Calvin decided to break out of his shell , she thought. He was scheduled to work the night shift at Scoops that evening, and by the sounds of it, all the other Scoopers not working this afternoon were here as well.

She felt the urge to turn around and bolt, but she had nowhere else to go. She clenched her jaw and closed her eyes and took her three deep breaths, focusing on the sounds of the distant waves at Scallop Shell Beach and the smell of Gram's freshly baked oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

After her third exhale she held up a fist and knocked.

Everyone inside went silent. A few words were exchanged as she heard a pair of flip-flops clapping toward the door. It swung open, but it wasn't Calvin on the other side of the porch door. It was Kevin.

The room remained silent as her eyes flicked over to Calvin making his way to the door. She looked back at Kevin, his eyes wide as he scanned the bags that surrounded her feet. The left corner of his lips twitched upward.

When he finally gazed back into her eyes, she nodded her head and asked, "Is it too late to take you up on the offer?"

Kevin's mouth split into a giddy grin. "Of course not, my dear Jessica. It would never be too late."

Jess rolled her eyes. "And if your business already went under and you were halfway to Vermont, that still wouldn't have been too late?"

"You're ruining the moment. Stop being so practical."

"If you don't want practical, then don't take me on as a business partner," she deadpanned.

She didn't think it was possible for his smile to get any bigger, but Kevin's smile grew wide, like a cartoon character. Goofy, perhaps. Jess shook her head, pretending to ignore the way Calvin was rubbing his face trying to contain his own smile before gesturing to Tyler on the couch to help him with the bags. She grumbled about how she could have handled them herself, but Tyler brushed her off, picking up two duffel bags and a suitcase as if they weighed nothing and carrying them down the narrow hallway.

Calvin grabbed the rest of her stuff as Kevin led her inside, the porch door slapping shut behind them. She felt her cheeks flush as she looked down at Melanie and Rory, surrounded by scraps of paper with what seemed to be sticker designs for Scoops, the two of them sitting there with mouths agape.

Rory scrambled up from where she was sitting. "Jess, did you—"

"Yes," she said, not waiting for Rory to finish her sentence. "I left."

She heard Melanie cough out an exasperated laugh, then slapped a hand in front of her face.

Kevin stepped away from Jess and ran a hand through his wavy hair, then let out a shaky breath.

Jess felt her cheeks flush again, her hands sweating. She hated having all of this attention on her.

Somehow, like the former high schooler knew that this entire interaction was bothering her, Rory reached out an arm and wrapped it around Jess's shoulders. Never would she have allowed this in the past. But never in her life had she thought she would leave Charlie. It seemed today was a day full of firsts.

"We were about to pick up pizza from Penny's," Rory said, shifting subjects. "You hungry?"

Jess nodded. "Yeah, pizza sounds good."