Chapter 15

After a trip to the health center, where the nurse checks my blood oxygen, listens to my lungs, and inspects the bruises on my chest before pronouncing me mostly unharmed—although I'm told to take it easy and come back if I develop any trouble breathing or other symptoms—I take Steve's hand again as we walk across campus toward our dorm room. It's still morning, before most students have classes, although plenty are up and having breakfast.

Part of me can't believe we kissed. I don't know if it was a good idea or a bad one, but I know I liked it. I want to do it again.

While I am battered from the almost-drowning—okay, actual drowning—my spirit is light. I suppose a near-death experience will do that to a person.

I squeeze Steve's hand. I like holding it. His skin is cool, but not frozen like Clay's. I'm walking slower than usual; otherwise, I think I'll be back to normal soon. A day or two off from practice won't hurt, though. It might be nice to have some extra days to sleep in.

"I feel horrible," Steve says. "Again, I am very sorry I made you drown. Words are inadequate to express my sorrow—"

"It's not your fault," I say.

Steve looks at me, his eyes stricken and his mouth agape. "It absolutely is my fault. My scream causes drowning."

"But that's just your nature. It's like asking a vampire not to drink blood. It's who you are."

"I do not like who I am a lot of the time," Steve admits, and it makes my heart hurt.

"I like who you are all of the time," I say with a smile.

"Why are you like this?" he asks, his voice a mixture of annoyance and amazement.

"Like what?"

"Cheerful and forgiving. I almost killed you with my scream." His dark eyes are imploring.

"Ah, but you didn't. Just because you drowned me doesn't mean you killed me." I pat my belly. "See? Still here. All good. You're the one who said nokk are omens of drowning, not death. We'll ignore the effects of a nokk's scream."

Steve not-Steve shakes his head in disbelief.

"Who called and got you so upset?" I ask.

"My father. He is so hurtful sometimes. He tells me that I am not a proper nokk. I got angry when he told me I needed to do things I do not want to do." Steve gives me a wan smile. "Like taking human souls."

"I'm so sorry, dude," I say. "I don't know much about nokks other than what you've told me and I've read online, but if you're just talking about what's traditional, then you should be free to make your own choices. I'll support you."

"Thank you," he says quietly.

"Can I kiss you again?" I ask.

He stops in the middle of the quad. "What? Here?"

"Yeah." I pause. "Am I not supposed to want to kiss you? I do. Are you okay with that?"

Steve looks at me with a combination of affection and confusion. "Um. Yes. Okay. Or maybe … over there?"

He points to a bench under a big tree, and we go to it and sit. When I kiss him this time, it's even better than in the shower. Definitely better than the CPR that I don't remember but apparently happened.

Steve parts his lips for me, and his cool tongue brushes against mine. I get the same shivers up and down my spine that I did when we first kissed.

"Yeah," I whisper, my voice turning husky. "I like that a lot."

"That—in the shower—was my first real kiss," Steve says.

I grin. "Oh yeah? It was my first kiss with a guy. And first kiss with a monster. Who happens to be sooo sexy."

My emo roommate has a smile on his face, and he looks dazed. He swallows hard and nods, then takes in our surroundings, tensing. More than one pair—or trio, or octet, or whatever, depending on the monster—of eyes are on us. Steve's expression changes to worry.

Does he not want to kiss me in public? Insecurity hits me in the gut. What does Steve think of me?

"Do you think I'm sexy?" I ask. Maybe I shouldn't have asked it so bluntly, but Steve's not choking on his tongue.

Then again, maybe he's getting used to me asking random questions all the time.

He closes his eyes, smiles, and shakes his head … and my stomach drops. He doesn't?

Then he slides both hands behind my neck. "I cannot believe that you would ever think that was in question. Yes, Brandon. You are so sexy, I do not know how to be in the same room with you most of the time. That has been why I have been doing everything I can to stay away from you. It is because I have wanted you so, so badly."

He leans in for another kiss, but I hold him with both hands behind his neck, too, pulling him to me, and we meet in the middle with a kiss that shatters my world. Steve's cool mouth is plundering mine like he can't get enough of me. I can't get enough of him in turn.

I'm giddy. I could spend my life kissing Steve not-Steve.

"Yeah," I say, when we break apart. "I definitely like this kissing-boys thing. I should do more of it."

"With someone else?" he asks shakily.

"No, Steve. You're the only person I'm interested in. So I misspoke. It's not ‘this kissing-boys thing.' It's a kissing- you thing. I hadn't realized before that I was into guys, but I'm very into you. Go on a date with me," I say, in a rush, as the idea occurs to me.

Although if this goes downhill, breaking up with my roommate would be a mess …

Nah, I'll think positively.

"Sorry?" Steve says.

"Come out with me on a date. You know." I make a motion with my hands, but Steve looks like he's not sure what I'm indicating. "A date."

"What would you want to do on a date?"

"I'll come up with something. Do you want to go traditional, dinner and a movie? Or I could be more creative. We could go see a show in the city. Or go to a concert."

"I want to do anything with you," Steve says. "Because I always want to be with you. I don't care what we do or where we go. Or if we even go anywhere at all."

"Bowling?" I ask.

"I don't know how to bowl."

"You didn't know how to sing karaoke or play water polo, either, and look how good you are at both of those," I say.

He turns faintly pink, and it's adorable.

"I'll tell you the truth: I just want to spend time with you, too," I say. "But why don't we go out to dinner, for starters."

The grin Steve gives me is breathtaking. He's still a little fuzzy around the edges. Like he's on the verge of winking into his true form—what I wouldn't give to see that. But his smile comes across plainly. "Yes, okay. Good. That is acceptable. I would like to go on a date with you, Bran."

"Awesome. When do you want to go? Is tonight too soon?"

He shakes his head. "I would like to go on a date with you tonight."

I give him a wicked smile. "I know where to pick you up."

"Ha."

"Before we go on a date, though," Steve says, "I need to buy you some protection."

"I mean, that's a tad fast for me, but when it's time, I have condoms."

Steve coughs and tugs at his hoodie collar. It's sweet that he's flustered. "That is not what I meant. I am referring to protection from drowning. So that I will not cause you to drown, even if I accidentally scream again."

I frown. "What?"

He leans in and kisses me. "I will give you something you must keep with you for your safety. Can you drive me into town?"

"Sure. After we clean up? Since we're ditching classes today?"

"That is fine. I will feel better knowing that you have what you need." He sags against me, and his outline goes wavy again. I love it when that happens. It's like he can relax around me.

"I wish you'd let me see your true form," I say.

Steve freezes. "No."

"Ouch," I say. "I can't know your true name. I can't see your true form. Am I entitled to any part of you if we're dating?" I'm playing it off like I'm kidding, but it hurts more than he knows.

But then Steve does something I don't expect. He puts a hand on his heart. "You can have this. If … if you want to be bonded. Which you do not have to do."

I stare at him for a long moment. "You know, I can't decide if that's the sweetest or the cheesiest thing anyone's ever said to me. I'm going to choose to believe sweetest." I lean in for another kiss, and it takes us a long time to break apart.

He reddens. "It is true. That is the real me. You may have the real me. Should you choose to."

"I'd like to know all of the real you. I feel like you think I'm not going to like your true form, because I'm used to you being all Norwegian emo boy."

He huffs. "I am a Norwegian emo boy."

"You don't have to be scared of me not liking the way you really look," I say, cradling his face in my hands. "I'm good with it."

"I do not think you know what you are getting into."

I grin at him. "Try and stop me from doing it anyway."

He rolls his eyes, and I kiss him again. This time, I get a small grin from him, and that lights up my insides like nothing else. Seeing him happy makes my entire world better.

When we get back to our room, I'm not sure what to do. I'm turned on, and I want to do something about it, but I don't want to pressure Steve into something he's not ready for.

Steve hangs up our towels on the hooks on the back of the door. I strip off my hoodie. "I have no idea what's happening to me," I say. "Are you bewitching me?"

Steve stiffens. "No! At least, not intentionally. I don't want to lure you to your death. I just want to kiss you."

"You are welcome to do that." I grin. "Or more."

"Gods," Steve whispers. "Okay. Um." He shuffles his feet.

I grab him by his T-shirt and pull him to me, widening my legs so he fits between them. Holding his chin with one hand, I lean forward and touch my lips to his. It's a sweet, gentle kiss.

His lips are cool and firm, and he hesitates for just a moment before opening to me, his cool tongue always a bit of a surprise against my own warm one.

Steve shivers, but it doesn't feel like the bad kind of shiver.

I pull back far enough to ask, "You good?"

"Yes." His voice has gone low and husky, and with his accent, it's super hot. In fact, now I want to know what his voice sounds like when he's doing more than kissing.

He leans toward me as if by instinct, and I have to kiss him again. He gasps into my mouth, and it's this innocent, sweet sound that makes me want to absolutely devour him.

I suck on his tongue, and he moves closer, his pelvis grinding against me.

It's not like I didn't feel his dick in the shower just a little bit ago. But feeling it now against my leg is another reminder that I'm doing something entirely new here and that I'm a bit out of my depth.

I don't want to stop, though.

"C'mere, you." I wrap my arms around him and tug him to me. He comes willingly, so now we're pelvis to pelvis, belly to belly, and my spread legs are cradling his thighs. The desk is hard against my ass.

I kiss his cute nose. His dark hair falls into his eyes. Then I bury my face in his neck. He shudders, and I wonder if he's been starved for touch. He's always seemed so alone and aloof. But sometimes those among us who are the prickliest are actually the ones who need cuddles the most.

"We're gonna go at your pace," I say.

"But what if that is too fast for you?" he asks.

"It won't be." I grin at him. "Are you saying you're ready for more?"

He turns pink and nods. His fingers pick at the hem of my shirt, so I grab the back of the collar and pull it over my head and off.

Steve licks his lips as he takes in my chest, maybe allowing himself to really look for the first time. I puff up a little, let's be honest. Because I do work out hard. These muscles didn't appear by accident.

He traces a lean finger up my arm, along the prominent vein that snakes its way from my wrist to my elbow. As he does, his form gets a little fuzzy—reminding me that he is, indeed, a shapeshifter. And that under the right circumstances, he can turn into something else entirely.

His cool hands then smooth over my chest—along my pecs, circling my nipples, running down the ridges of my abs.

"Man, you're torturing me. I swear. Kiss me and put me out of my misery," I whine.

Steve gives me another one of his fleeting smiles, and then he leans in and kisses me, and this kiss is not tentative at all. It's like he's satisfied himself that I'm flesh and blood and am not going anywhere, so now all systems are go. He kisses me hungrily and lets out a moan that sends my dick, which had been stirring this entire time, to full mast.

"Shit," I groan. "You're so hot."

For some reason, that makes him sad—I can tell by the mournful look in his eyes. "Hey," I say, grabbing his cheeks. "What did I … Ohhh, because this isn't your true form."

He looks away. I put a finger under his chin and tilt it back toward me.

"I'm talking about who you are, not what you look like. The way you touch me is hot. And while, yes, in this form you're what most humans consider beautiful, you could have moss-covered teeth or pruny skin, or whatever it is that nokks look like in their true form, and I'd still think you were sexy AF." I kiss him. "I'm attracted to the things you say and the sounds you make. The music you create and how shy and cute you are, but then how you get in the water and are free. I like who you are under that." I wave at him. "Not the surface. Trust me, there are plenty of hot people out there, but if their insides are trash, then I'm not gonna want them. I want you."

"I want to believe you," he whispers, like he's scared to break some kind of spell. "But I am not sure you are going to like who I really am—"

"Stop," I command. "I know what you show me when you think you aren't doing anything. I like that you're not arrogant, but you don't have to hide your talents. You can be yourself. Because yourself is amazing."

"Okay." His voice remains quiet. "Can I touch you—"

"Yes," I interrupt. "Please. Anywhere. Everywhere. I'm yours, Steve. My body is fucking yours." And the other parts, too.

That earns me a rare grin, and he kisses me, then tentatively touches the waistband of my pants.

"It's fine," I assure him.

He steps back, takes off his shirt, and strips off his pants and underwear in just a few seconds, and then he's standing before me, pale and sleek. I've seen him in his Speedo, of course, as well as glimpses when he changes clothes, but there's something super sexy about being able to stand and drink in the part of his hip that's normally covered up. That strip of flesh from just above his upper thigh to his waist—when it's uninterrupted by any clothing.

His cock is hard and ruddy, and it occurs to me that I haven't ever seen an erection that isn't my own before. Certainly not this close-up. (I'm ignoring porn; that doesn't count.) I hastily finish shedding my clothes.

Now we're both naked, and I step forward, grabbing his bare hips and instinctively brushing my cock against his.

"That feels good," I murmur, as his dick rubs the sensitive underside of my own. I like how his skin is cool—in Arizona, I'm always too hot, so having him around is kind of like having my own personal AC vent.

He smiles into my neck and then pulls back to kiss me. "Am I doing this right?"

"How do you feel?"

"Amazing," he whispers.

"Then yes, you're doing it right. I feel the same." I take hold of his erection and stroke it, noting that he's leaking precome like he's a fountain. It's pretty damn sexy, and I use it help my hand glide. We need to buy real lube, though. I don't have any, but I do have that suntan lotion, and with a few squeezes of that, we're in business.

"Come on," I say, pulling him over to my bed. I lie down on my back and invite him to straddle me so he's in charge.

With our dicks slicked, we kiss and reach for each other. "I really want to come," I moan.

"Me, too. Please. Please," he begs, and it's so fucking sweet and hot. "Please make me come."

"You got it, babe." I jack Steve off until his whole body stiffens and he starts shooting. When he climaxes, the outline of his body blurs again, and his skin gets greenish—like his true form wants to come out, but he's not letting go enough for that to happen.

Sometime I want to make him come so hard he forgets to be shy. I won't care.

But that will have to wait, since he's now making me come, and I release all over my own belly.

Steve leans down and kisses me sweetly. "That was …"

"Yeah. Agreed," I say.

We kiss for a while, until the stickiness gets too gross, and then we get up and head for the en suite.

"I'm so excited you're going to go on a date with me!" I say as I turn the water on. My dick is already starting to harden again.

"Yes. I am, too. But let me buy you that protection first."

I'm really wondering what he's talking about.

I'm also wondering if he'll let me touch him again in the shower.

He turns and kisses me, his soft cock rubbing against my interested one, and I get my answer fast.