Chapter 14

No.

No, no-no-no-no.

Not him. Not that sweet golden retriever of a man.

My limbs shake, and my heart threatens to explode. My vision whites out, and I just react.

I race toward Brandon, who is facedown in the water and sinking, and dive in next to him. Hooking my arm under his armpits, I pull him to the surface, then drag him to the side of the swimming pool, where the coach and Phil each grab one of his arms. "Get him out!" I say, trying not to scream again. My stomach is full of lead.

"Got him!" Phil yells, as they yank an unresponsive Brandon out of the pool while I push from the water. Clay comes up next to me and helps.

Together, we manage to get Bran lying on the coping, and I haul myself out of the water. Brandon's face is blue, his lips a dark purple.

Oh my monster gods.

I shut my eyes and pull myself together. I caused this. I need to fix it. I am well-versed in resuscitating humans, because when I learned what nokk are capable of, I made sure to learn CPR. It is like an antidote for my flaw. I feared it would come in handy one day.

I have never had to do CPR on a real human being before. I've never had a nokk scream burst out of me before—but I was just so frustrated with my father.

And now I have to do it on someone I care about.

"Move so I can start CPR," Coach orders, but I push in front of him, my body still shaking. I am barely hanging on to this form, but that does not matter right now. The possibility that Brandon could be permanently injured is so much more terrifying than the idea of people seeing me in my true form.

"I will do it," I say, my voice cracking. "You call emergency services." There are legs and bodies around us, but I do not look up to see who is present. I am focused entirely on Brandon.

Gently, I open his airway and check for breathing.

None. Gods .

With my hands positioned between his nipples, I begin chest compressions, hard and fast, although not as hard as I could, because I am worried about breaking his rib cage. I know that can be a side effect of CPR, and if I need to do it, I will. But I am hopeful that I am getting to him in time.

My lips lower to Brandon's for the rescue breaths. When our lips touch, my cool ones to his, which should not be cool, an overwhelming surge of power shoots through my body, the same way it did when our blood mingled.

The second step in bonding.

I cannot worry about that now.

I set the sensation aside and return my full attention to Brandon. I do another round of chest compressions, then more rescue breathing.

Come on , I start chanting in my head. Come on, come on .

His lips are cold. He is not breathing. I am beginning to panic, but I keep going …

One more round. There are murmurs behind me.

Come on, Brandon. Please.

All of a sudden, Brandon lets out a huge cough, and water spurts out of his mouth and nose.

Thank the monster gods.

He starts retching, and I roll him onto his side so he can get the water out. His chest is heaving, and his stomach is doing weird rolls, but I think he is going to live. I could not handle it if he did not. Especially if I was the cause.

"He is breathing," I say, finally paying more attention to those surrounding us. "Take a step back."

Everyone does. "You heard Jobs," Coach says. Sirens squeal in the distance. "Give them space. Practice is canceled; be here bright and early tomorrow." Lowering his voice, he tells me, "I'll want to talk with you at some point, but we need to take care of Fernandez right now."

"Yes, Coach."

Most of the team leaves—seeming reluctant but obeying Coach—but Clay and Phil remain.

Finally, Brandon opens his big, brown eyes. He looks confused. For a moment, he simply takes labored breaths. I reach out, wanting to run my fingers over his jaw, through his hair, but I pull back. I am not worthy to touch him.

There is a lump in my throat, and my nose is running. I never should have joined the water polo team. I never should have answered my father's call when I was so close to a body of water. I should have ignored my jealous feelings about Brandon and his "baby girl." I should have controlled myself. I never should have put Brandon in danger.

He looks at me. "Wha-what happened?"

"Do not try to talk yet," I say. "Give yourself a moment to recover."

Brandon nods and closes his eyes again, still lying down.

Once his breathing gets more under control, he struggles to sit up, and I help him. Someone has brought a towel, and I drape it over Brandon's shoulders.

"What happened?" Bran repeats. His voice is raspy.

"It is all my fault," I whisper. "I screamed."

"So that isn't just a folktale? A nokk scream really does cause drowning?"

"It is not a folktale. It is true. I have never screamed like that before. I am sorry I got so upset that I lost sight of the risks to the people around me." My words are utterly inadequate to express how horrible I feel.

Brandon gives me a weak smile. His dimples still flash. "It's okay. I'm okay. I just thought I was a stronger swimmer than that. I didn't think it would cause a drowning—I thought it was just, like, foretelling a drowning."

I shake my head slowly. Two EMTs arrive and come directly to Brandon. Coach briefly gets them caught up, and they begin to examine Bran.

"How does your chest feel?" one asks.

"Hurts."

I wince, and my stomach sinks to the ground. "I am sorry. I was trying not to crack your ribs, but I needed to revive you."

Brandon nods, but he still looks wan. "I don't think you broke anything." He turns to the EMT. "I've broken bones before, and this isn't like that. It's just a little sore."

"Uh-huh," the medic says, getting out a large kit of equipment.

He continues to evaluate Brandon, asking questions and measuring his vitals, but—thankfully—it soon becomes apparent that Bran is out of immediate danger.

"He seems stable, but the health center can run more tests than we can," one of the EMTs eventually says.

"I'll take him there," I say. "Should we go right now, or can he get warmed up first?"

"He can take a shower," the other EMT says, packing up a bag, "if he feels up to it."

"I'm fine," Brandon says.

The EMTs leave, and everyone exhales.

"Get him to the health center as soon as you can," Coach says. "They'll evaluate him and make sure there's nothing going on that we can't see. Take tomorrow's practice off, too, so you can keep an eye on him."

"I'll be fine," Bran says.

I look around at the few people who remain. "I'm sorry," I repeat. "I will try to control my emotions better."

"Monster things happen," Phil says. "We understand."

They all nod, but I still feel horrible.

Brandon tries to stand, but he wavers on his feet, and I hurry to position myself under his arm so he can lean on me.

"I'll take care of him," I tell Coach. "I promise."

Brandon leans on me as we walk to the locker room. One of the showers has a stool in it for accessibility, so I take him over to that one and sit him down, taking the towel from his shoulders and hanging it on the closest hook. I like the way Bran's hair looks extra dark right now, all wet, in the dim light of the locker room.

"Let me help you," I say.

He gives me a weird grin. "I know how to shower."

"I do not want you to stand up right now. You just had a shock."

I turn on the shower, aiming the spray nozzle away from him while the water warms up. Then I tilt his head back carefully, not wanting to get water in his eyes.

"This is okay?" I whisper. This feels more intimate than I intended.

"Um, yeah," he says, his eyes closed and his voice hoarse.

I rinse him off to warm him up, then reach for the all-purpose hair and body wash the school provides. I squirt some into my hands and apply it to his hair. I have to step between his legs to do that, which puts my groin closer to his face than I intended.

This Speedo does not hide anything.

Oh well. I scrub his hair, sudsing it up to get the salt water out, and tilt his head back again to rinse.

Then I fidget until I come to a decision. "Can I get your shoulders and arms?"

"Um. Okay."

Not a ringing endorsement, but I imagine Brandon doesn't have a ton of energy. Nearly drowning can do that to a person.

When I apply the foamy soap to his shoulders and down his arms, I realize what a huge mistake I have made.

Because I am touching Brandon's soft, muscular skin. The strong lines of his body are so sexy. I try to be clinical, but it is hard when he has such beautiful pecs. Tiny, peaked nips. I get on my knees and scrub his thighs, too. I ignore the parts covered by his Speedo.

As I wash him, he seems to relax and become closer to his normal self. I am hoping that since the drowning was magical, his recovery will be faster than it would be otherwise.

And now he is looking at me as if I am edible.

"Hey," he whispers. Gods .

He is getting hard, and so am I.

"Want me to—" I clear my throat. "Want me to get the rest of you?"

"No. I'm … I'm good."

"Brandon," I say. "I had to kiss you to save you. I did not know what else to do. I did not want anyone else to touch you … but now we are further bonded."

"That's okay. I've been wanting to kiss you, so I've already kind of dealt with the whole bonding concept. At least in my head."

"You have?" I am so confused.

"Yeah."

"I thought you were dating a girl."

Brandon frowns. "No, I'm not dating anyone."

"What about the one who calls you? The one you call baby girl?"

"My sister? Viviana?"

I am sure my eyes bug out. "That's your sister?"

"Yes. And before you say anything, no, I'm not interested in Savannah or anyone else. Just you. I meant to tell you that last night, actually, because it looked like you thought I was into her. But I'm not. I'm into you."

A smile that I cannot stop spreads across my face.

Brandon goes to stand, and I think he should probably stay seated a bit longer, but I let him get up. "Um," he says. "So, can I … can I kiss you? I've never kissed a boy before, but I really want to kiss you. CPR doesn't count, dude."

"It might—"

"I really, um, like you," he continues. "And I know this could go badly, because we're roommates, and we have to see each other all the time … but I like you too much, and I'm willing to take the risk if you are." He gulps, his lips just a breath from mine. "Are you?"

"Yes," I whisper. "I am willing to take the risk with you."

My entire body clenches up in anticipation. As the warm water sprays over both of us, I lean in to kiss him, and unlike the rescue breaths earlier, Brandon's lips are warm and giving. He lines us up so that his cock is rubbing against mine, and he parts his lips, moaning into my mouth.

Gods, this is the most erotic thing I have ever done in my inexperienced life.

Fuck .

Our kiss goes wild, my tongue dipping into his mouth, his hands reaching around me to pull me to him. I want to never stop kissing him. I have felt that he was mine since the day we met, but now I think he really is.

Brandon blinks as if he has been under a spell. I don't think I have ensorcelled him. I think this is him kissing me voluntarily.

While my nokk instincts urge me to take his soul, I have the strength to resist, because having him could only be satisfying if he wants me of his own free will.

Amazingly, it seems he might.

We continue making out, hungry for one another. A dam has burst, and now there is nothing but him and me.

I love it.

Eventually, our kisses slow, though we are both hard. We take long sips from each other's mouth. Finally, Brandon murmurs, "I think we need to get out of the shower before I turn into a prune."

"I think you need to see a medic or a nurse."

"I'm fine," he says. "Just get me to a bed."

I shake my head, thinking about the way Brandon looks with his dark hair splayed across his pillow. "If the situation were reversed, would you let me avoid getting medical care?"

He shakes his head and sighs. "Okay, fair. Let's go to the health center."

I kiss him again. Then I dry him off with a towel, doing my best not to further stoke his erection.

He shrugs. "Sorry. I, um. Yeah."

"It is all right," I say, not faring any better. We both get dressed, and we leave the pool complex, headed to the health center.

My brain is whirring. My first priority is to give Brandon protection so I do not accidentally drown him again. On one of my walks avoiding the dorm, I found a place in town that might have what I need. That is important, because I am too dangerous. He is going to get hurt if he stays around me.

But I want him. He is irresistible—the way his warm lips felt against mine. How eagerly he kissed me. I do not know if that is the way all kisses are, since I have never been kissed before.

Brandon is special. I want him to be all my firsts—and my only. I want to do everything with him.

Bran reaches out and holds my hand as we walk. His palm is warm, both from the shower and because his body temperature is hotter than mine.

We have joined blood and kissed. That leaves our hearts. Where is his? Because I know where mine is headed.