Chapter 16

The nausea has subsided. Maybe I don’t have a bug after all, but all morning long I’ve felt anxious, sick to my stomach, wanting to know how my baby is. And missing her. I’m additionally ridden with guilt—not having had the wherewithal to be with my newborn at her first wellness visit. What must her pediatrician, Dr. Goldman, think of me? I hope Ned explained the extenuating circumstance. Thank goodness Nurse Marley accompanied him. I know I can trust her with my baby.

To distract myself, I lounge in the recliner and flip through several design magazines, the Baby Reborn doll beside me. But it’s futile. I can’t stop worrying.

I check my phone. It’s going on noon. What’s taking so long? Where’s my baby? Why hasn’t Ned or Nurse Marley called me? I tried calling them both several times, but each time the call went to their voicemail. Is there something wrong with Isa? Some kind of life-threatening emergency that they’re dealing with? That they don’t want to tell me about?

My pulse revving up to panic mode, I’m about to call Ned again for the umpteenth time when I hear a car pull up in the driveway. Before the Ring app activates, the front door opens and in walks Nurse Marley carrying Isa in her portable car seat. I should smile with relief, but my anxiety hijacks the curl of my lips.

“Is everything okay?” The words come out a mile a minute, tumbling into one another.

A megawatt smile beams on Nurse Marley’s face. “Everything’s great!”

My anxiety won’t let up. “How did her checkup go?”

“Fabulously. Your doctor says she’s perfect.”

Perfect.The word dances in my head. My baby is perfect!

“Everything’s normal and she even gained a few ounces and now weighs over six pounds.”

“That’s wonderful.” A smile at last forms on my lips as I slap a hand to my heart. The sigh of relief I’ve been holding back spills out of my lungs.

Nurse Marley strides my way and places the carrier on the floor next to the recliner.

“Isa fell asleep in the car on our way back here. I’m going to leave this little angel with you while I get my things.”

“Your things?”

She looks at me, surprised. “Oh, didn’t Ned talk to you?”

“About what?”

“That starting today I’m going to be your live-in, full-time nanny. I thought Ned told you.”

I’m at a loss for words. While this is certainly not devastating news, in fact it’s wonderful, why didn’t Ned discuss this with me? This is the kind of decision a husband and wife make together. I feel a bubble of resentment rise in my chest and force myself to swallow it down.

“Um… No, he didn’t.”

“It was his idea.”

“It was?”

“Yes. He’s been very worried about you.”

I would have found that hard to believe before Nurse Marley’s arrival, but Ned now seems to be taking a much greater interest in both me and my baby. Maybe she’s knocked some sense into him. Whatever the reason, her words warm my heart.

“I hope you’re okay with me living here full-time…well, except on Sundays, my day off.”

“I—I’m thrilled. You’re a godsend.”

She looks down again at Isa, then back up at me. “I’ll be right back. I’m also going to bring in the groceries.”

“The groceries?”

“Yes. After I dropped Ned off at his office, I went shopping at the Whole Foods in Century City…and then I drove to my house in Silver Lake to pick up a few necessities.”

That’s what took her so long. “How much do I owe you?” Given how little we have in the house to eat and how much it costs to shop at that pricey supermarket, it must have been a small fortune.

“Nothing. Ned gave me one of his credit cards to use for incidentals…Oh, and by the way, I got you some almond milk. And lots of healthy food you need for your recovery.”

“Thank you. That’s so thoughtful.” I’m about to burst into happy tears, but am stopped when I notice something glued to the heel of her sneaker.

A white rose petal.

“Nurse Marley, before you go to your car, can I ask you…did you by chance find some white roses and throw them into the trash compactor?”

She lets out an apologetic laugh. “Oh, those! I ran over them yesterday with my car. They were lying outside your gate…I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay…was there a card with them?”

“Not that I could see.”

Without another word, she heads back outside, the petal falling off her heel.

Unable to bend down to pick it up, I wonder who sent me the anonymous flowers. Could it have been him? Or maybe they were simply sent to the wrong address.

A chill runs through me. As an interior designer, I know a lot about flowers.

White roses can symbolize peace and love.

They can also symbolize death.