The Before

The Before

AGE: 25

Decorations – check

Guests starting to arrive – check

DJ – check

Gianna’s favorite foods – check

Special letter from Mummo – check

Plane tickets for both herself and Gianna to fly to Finland in two months for a long weekend to visit Mummo – check

Riley was filled with satisfaction as she stared down at her list as they prepared her apartment for Gianna’s birthday party. Everything was going according to plan at Gianna’s surprise 24 th birthday party.

Typically, Gianna threw her own birthday bashes. Her birthday being the Fourth of July and Gianna not being American, she viewed it as a perfect opportunity to celebrate her own birthday with pool parties and delicious cocktails.

Riley didn’t disagree, necessarily, but it made trying to plan Gianna a surprise party – something Gianna had made many off-handed comments about wanting to experience – difficult.

This year, though, was the first time since Riley had known her that she wasn’t planning something for herself. Riley had wasted no time in planning, because she wasn’t going to miss her chance.

And it had all worked out perfectly, if she said so herself!

When Gianna had walked into the apartment an hour ago, she’d looked genuinely surprised before her expression had quickly morphed into the picture of giddiness. A giddiness that Riley was responsible for, and she took so much pride in that.

“My hour of celebrating is up, and I wished Gianna a happy birthday and gave her my gift. I’m going to the lab,” Ellie informed her as she walked by Riley, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

She squeezed her sister’s hand in thanks. Mostly, she was glad Ellie had agreed to the hour of socializing, because she’d been doggedly staying at the lab for nearly twenty hours a day in the last few weeks.

“Thanks for hanging out for a bit. Hey, have you seen Gianna?” Riley asked, given Ellie’s mentioning of her name.

Riley had danced a bit with her best friend, but then Gianna had been swarmed by so many other birthday well-wishers, Riley had decided to take it as a sign to go and make sure everything was running smoothly. But now, as she scanned her eyes over the people in her apartment, she couldn’t see Gianna anywhere.

And Gianna, with her statuesque height, platinum hair and musical laugh, was very hard to miss, even in a crowd.

“Uh, yeah. She was getting a phone call after we talked, so I think she went to your room to take it,” Ellie called over her shoulder as she walked to the front door.

Huh. Riley turned in the direction of her bedroom. The door was as she’d left it, firmly closed. But Gianna knew she was allowed in there at any time, so…

“Birthday girl?” she quietly asked, opening the door and peeking in.

There Gianna was, sitting on the edge of Riley’s bed. No longer on the phone, which was on the bed next to her, she sat still with her hands in her lap. The look in her eyes was nearly blank – very, very different from what it had been when Riley had last seen Gianna twenty minutes ago.

Her stomach sank even before Gianna said anything, because she knew .

Quietly, she closed the door. “Hey, you,” she spoke softly as she walked toward Gianna, sitting on the bed next to her.

Gianna tightly closed her eyes, shaking her head softly. “Hey.” Her voice was thick. “Sorry. I’m going to get back to the party in a minute. I’m fine.”

Riley shook her head, reaching out to tuck a lock of soft hair behind Gianna’s ear. “There’s no rush to get back. It’s your day; we’ll do whatever you want.”

She slid her hand down into Gianna’s lap, so she could gently intertwine their fingers.

Gianna drew in a deep breath. “I got a call from Guilia.”

Riley had already known that by the look on Gianna’s face. Still, she squeezed Gianna’s hand in hers. “We don’t have to talk about it.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Gianna muttered, pushing out a mirthless laugh. “She called because she heard I got a new sponsorship deal with a designer she wants to work with. I don’t know how it’s possible to forget when you gave birth, but I think she did. Because she seemed to have no clue what today is.”

Gianna’s voice was thick and raspy with emotion, and Riley felt like her own heart was being squeezed painfully. She used her free hand to wrap around Gianna’s waist, pulling her closer, so their sides were flush together.

“Do you want me to kick everyone out?” Riley offered, keeping her voice quiet. Wanting, so badly, to give Gianna anything that could make this better.

Gianna took in a deep, slow breath, shaking her head on the exhale. “No. I just… I need to sit in here for a little bit. Then I’ll be fine.” She turned to look at Riley, her voice hoarse and vulnerable, as she asked, “Will you stay with me?”

“I was never going anywhere else,” Riley whispered, squeezing Gianna’s hand in hers.

She wished she could – just for once – tell Giulia just what she thought. She wished she could force her to look into reality and see what an incredible person she put on this earth.

But in this moment, Riley only did what she could do. Let Gianna lean heavily into her, holding her up.