Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33

GEMMA

S adder than I remembered ever having been before, I didn’t even change out of my pajamas the morning after I’d gotten back from Nashville. I brushed my teeth because I did still have some self-respect, and then I got to work, kicking back on the couch with my laptop and with a fire crackling in the hearth.

While I still didn’t know if I was going to be throwing the big New Year’s Eve party for City Lights, I decided to proceed as if I was. I hadn’t received any communication from any of the boys or their team canceling the arrangement, which meant that I was still the official planner of that event.

I also had a bunch of requests for meetings from potential new clients in my email inbox, which was strange, but I replied to most of them, offering dates I would be available to meet in the new year. As much as I loved my job, I simply didn’t have the energy to meet with anyone earlier.

My heart was still in shards and my life felt like it’d come apart at the seams. I was working so that I wouldn’t crawl back in bed and cry the whole day, but even as I tried to get into it, I just couldn’t quite concentrate at the level I usually did.

Tears also kept springing to my eyes and my body felt drained, like even just scrolling through ideas for the New Year’s Eve party and typing out replies to emails was akin to running two marathons. At lunch, I made myself eat two crackers, but I’d already resigned myself to living on a diet of caffeine and sugar until Mariam and Laurel got in.

Once they were here, I was sure they would make me eat something with actual nutritional value, but for now, I was happy with my plan. My day passed at a snail’s pace until later in the afternoon when my phone suddenly started blowing up.

Frowning as I reached for it, my heart dropped when I saw the texts flooding into my Girls Group chat. Leif is cheating on Laurel? What the hell? There’s no way that’s true.

But when I opened the chat and read the other messages she’d sent, I realized that all men were dicks and that we were better off staying away from them. It seemed like Laurel too had been played and she was headed back to Tennessee after flying to Denver to surprise Leif.

Knowing exactly how she felt, I wished I could’ve been there for her the way she had been for me, but I would just have to love on her from afar. Mariam did the same thing, and for the next few days, Laurel and I spoke often, sometimes just crying over the phone and sometimes bitching about the men who had broken our hearts but mostly just supporting one another.

Leif and his brother, Jack, kept trying to get in touch with me. I ignored them both, but I read the messages they’d sent, and honestly, it sounded to me like Laurel needed to talk to him. It didn’t look like she had any intention of doing it, though.

On the day she got back to Austin, she assured me her mom would be picking her up from the airport, but I would finally have to leave my house again anyway. Mariam’s flight was getting in just a few hours after Laurel’s, and I would be collecting her before we’d all be meeting at Deb’s.

Although I had managed to drag my butt through a couple showers since I’d been back, I actually decided to give myself time today. My heart might be broken, but that was no excuse to look like it.

After washing and conditioning my hair, I exfoliated, shaved, and lathered my entire body in a sweet-scented body wash I’d had delivered for this occasion. Once I rinsed myself off, I got out of the shower and massaged cream into my feet, legs, arms, and body.

My skin had been feeling the effects of winter and it was about time I changed that. Already feeling better than I had in days, I blow-dried my hair, applied some makeup, and finally got dressed in jeans and a comfortable shirt that still looked trendy.

By the time I was ready to head out, I actually looked like a person again, though my eyes and cheeks still seemed hollow. There was nothing I could do about either of those things, however, and I was more than happy with what I’d achieved as I left my house.

At the airport, I went to stand as close to the doors as I could, trying not to remember that the last time I’d left on a flight from this very building, I’d been with Noah. There was no getting around it, though.

The man was everywhere. In my thoughts, my dreams, and my memories. Constantly on my mind, he was making it a struggle getting through a darn shower in my own house without missing him.

He was the first thing I thought of when I opened my eyes in the morning and the last thing before I fell asleep. Those blue eyes haunted me whenever I closed my eyes, even if it was just to blink, and I was finding it really hard to adapt to the prospect of a life in which I would never look into them again—unless of course I was seeing them on a TV screen.

When the doors slid open and Mariam walked out, tears stung the backs of my eyes. I opened my arms, waiting for her to walk right into them and then squeezing her tightly.

“Oh, my gosh. You are a sight for sore eyes, Mimi. How are you?”

“The better question is, how are you ?” she replied against my hair, giving me a long hug. She finally took a step back. Worry darkened her eyes and her brow furrowed as she gave me a quick but obvious onceover. “Well, I have to admit that you look better than I was expecting.”

“Just a little war paint,” I confessed. “I couldn’t leave the house looking as bad as I felt. Besides, it’s been long enough. It was about time that I took charge, and at this point, the only thing I can really control is what I looked like.”

She chuckled. “It hasn’t even been a week, babe. But sure, I hear ya. At least you made an effort. You are going to get through this, you know?”

“No, I actually don’t know,” I said. “I mean, obviously I know that I’m going to literally survive being effectively dumped by a popstar, but I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to move on. Noah was just…” I trailed off, not wanting to get too wrapped up in all the things I’d thought he was.

Mariam glanced at me. “Everything you’ve ever wanted?”

I shrugged. “Sure. Let’s leave it at that. How’s Laurel?”

“You probably know more than I do,” she said as we left the airport terminal together, only stopping on the way to Deb’s to pick up some drinks and snacks.

Once we were laden down with more grocery bags than was reasonable for a one-night sleepover of only three girls, we set off to our friend’s house, finding her teary in the kitchen with her mom. Deb greeted us before she begged off, claiming to be taking her cue and leaving us to talk. Mariam and I made drinks and set out the snacks before we both took Laurel into our arms.

Our group hug was tight and long, with Laurel and I both crying a bit before we finally broke apart. Mariam sighed as she glanced between us. “It looks like it’s going to be a sad-girl Christmas.”

“I’m swearing off men for the rest of the year,” Laurel said dramatically.

I chuckled through my tears. “Count me in for next year too.”

Through all the highs and lows, I was so damn thankful that I would always have my friends, and when they laughed at what I’d said, I gave them each another hug. “Okay, that’s enough of this. We have a lot of food to eat, a lot of drinks to drink, and a lot of catching up to do. Let’s go.”

The girls and I spent the rest of the night trying to cheer each other up. We made yummy drinks. I purposely stayed away from the hot cocoa. And we built gingerbread houses in between bouts of spontaneous pity parties. All in all, it was a good time despite all the heartbreak, but after Laurel had told us in person about what she’d seen when she’d gone to Denver, I still couldn’t believe it.

She and Leif had always been that couple. The one everyone was jealous of, girls swooned over, and guys in high school tried to ignore the existence of.

The thought that he would cheat on her after everything they’d been through and finally finding their way back together again didn’t sit right with me. I definitely wasn’t going to be getting my own happily ever after, but there was no way I was letting her miss out on hers without even hearing him out.

The next morning, Leif and Jack were on my mind more than Noah, which was a welcome change. I lay on my couch, rereading all the texts they’d sent and finally listening to all the voice notes. Leif sounded broken and Jack just kept begging me to convince Laurel to hear his brother out.

Eventually, when Deb invited us over for dinner, I decided to give it a try. Mariam was staying with me while she was in town and I went over to the room, smiling at the familiar comfort of seeing her in there again.

“Let’s take some stuff to pamper her,” I said. “I went on a bit of a spree before I picked you up from the airport. There are all sorts of masks, nail polishes, and scrubs in the bathroom. It could be fun.”

She looked up from the book she’d been reading on the bed, her head tilting slightly as her eyes filled with suspicion. “What are you up to, Ms. Longstrum? This sudden desire to pamper your best friend didn’t come out of nowhere.”

I shrugged. “Maybe I need some pampering and I’m using her as an excuse.”

“Maybe, but I don’t think so. Is it something I need to know about?”

I shook my head. “It’s probably safer if you’re not in on it.”

Come hell or high water though, I was going to fight for the happy-ever-after my friend deserved—even if she wasn’t inclined to fight for it herself. However much Leif might’ve changed in the last ten years, like going from math-club cutie to super-hot, successful accountant, I didn’t buy him as a cheater.

Noah, with his past, sure. Clearly, he loved women, and obviously, they loved him right back. While the thought still didn’t fit right with the way he’d been with me, it wasn’t inconceivable that he might’ve given into temptation.

I wasn’t one hundred percent convinced of it, but I also couldn’t deny what I’d seen in that picture, which had been another woman kissing him. If that had been it, this nagging in my gut about it just not seeming right might’ve driven me to pick up the phone and call him.

Unfortunately for my shattered heart that still wanted him with everything she had, it wasn’t only that. The reality was that even if there had been a reasonable explanation for him being photographed getting a kiss from a hot, rich local girl, he’d still disavowed me in front of the world. By having me introduced as his events planner, he’d made sure that I and everyone knew that there was nothing more to our relationship.

Since I was head over heels in love with him, that had meant that I’d needed to go. I couldn’t keep hanging around, playing his game and pretending I could live with only being his girlfriend in private. I already knew that he was into me behind closed doors. What I couldn’t live with was being some dirty little secret who got messed around on whenever she turned her back.

I refused to be taken for an emotional rollercoaster ride, lied to, and then treated like some disgusting disease he had to hide from the masses.

Leif wasn’t Noah, though. He’d always been all about Laurel, and since the moment he’d laid eyes on her again at the reunion, he’d been all in on my friend again. In a matter of days, they’d gone right back to the way they used to be, and I hadn’t seen her as happy since she’d last been happy with him.

It took some doing after we arrived at Deb’s, but eventually, I convinced her to speak to Jack. After she’d heard him out, she agreed to meet with Leif. I grinned, sending up a silent prayer that things might just work out for her.

I loved Laurel, and I knew how much she loved Leif. How much she had always loved Leif.

They had been through so much together, and back in high school, the most horrifying tragedy the city had seen in years had driven them apart.

After everything, I couldn’t allow them to end like this. Not if what Jack was saying was true and there really was more to it than Laurel thought she had seen in Colorado.

I’d always been a hardcore romantic at heart, and if he could explain it, then I hoped she would give him a second chance.

I would’ve loved one for Noah and me too, but I just didn’t think ours was that kind of story. Laurel and Leif, though? They might just be capable of having it all, and I would be their biggest cheerleader forever if it meant that my friend could be happy.