Chapter 26

I stare mute at Carly,trying to get my head together enough to reply. The burning heat of the attention is all on me. Scorching from every angle.

But mostly from Connor.

I can see his wide-eyed shock horror in the corner of my eye, but I can't look at him. I can't do it. I just can't.

Josh squeezes my fingers under the table, tight and out of sight, like some kind of Morse code for let's get the fuck out of here, but I can't just bail and run. I have to face the music.

Ha. Ironic.

My voice sounds more confident than I feel as I answer my boyfriend's grinning little sister.

"Yeah, I'm an entertainer. Like Josh."

"See," Carly says and nudges Connor's arm. "Told you. They're a pair of professional hookers, and they earn enough to make a killing at it." She gives Josh a bitchy smirk. "Just not as much as Connor will be earning when he hits the big time."

Josh gives her a cold smile in return.

"Congratulations to the pair of you for the worldwide success lying just around the corner," he says. "Such megastars."

"We will be," Carly says. "Connor is going to smash it right to the top of the industry. With my help, of course."

"Can't wait," Josh says. "And in the meantime, let's shut up and enjoy Mum's lovely roast dinner, shall we?"

"Yes! I'll get started," Heather butts in. "Almost time for serving up, and I've got tiramisu for after."

Oh, the poor grin on her face. So transparent and desperate. Josh's mum is trying to kill the pure burst of WT holy F energy in the room, and I feel sorry for her, because there is no chance. She's got no idea of the scale.

I look at everyone but Connor, holding my breath until someone takes up a different line of conversation. One that isn't about me spreading my legs for money.

"Hey, so, um, how did you guys meet?" Emma asks Carly. "At a gig? You're a musician right, Connor?"

My cunt of an ex clears his throat. There's another awkward silence, and I wonder if he's reeling as much as I am. Probably. He just found out I'm a fucking prostitute, after all.

"I'm a musician, yeah," he says. "We, uh, met when I was gigging. In Camden. A while ago."

My knee starts bouncing under the table. I need the tap, tap, tap as a distraction, or I'm going to break and run.

"It was love at first sight," Carly tells the room, like she's an onstage performer. "As soon as I saw him there on stage, I knew he was the one for me. And I know music when I hear it. He just needed a little bit of help from someone who knows the industry, and it's working. His platform is rocketing. Off the charts."

I look at her, not at him when she smiles at her lovely boyfriend. So sweet and sickly, it's cringe.

Me, too. That's what I want to say. I knew he was the one for me on first fucking sight too, love, and I know music when I hear it as well, you stupid cow.

"How about you, Connor?" Emma asks. "Did you fall in love with our cute little Carly the very moment you laid eyes on her?"

Oh no, please. Not that question. My pulse races, because if he says yes, I'm going to throw up all over the table.

I close my eyes waiting for his response, but I hear a giggle instead. Carly's.

"Yeah, he did. We both knew. Talked music all night long and we've never stopped since. Twin flames, meant to be. That's what you said, wasn't it, Con?"

Her words are too much for me, and now it's anger, not just the need to barf and run that has my eyes locking with Connor's across the table.

"Twin flames, meant to be? That's what he said, is it?" I ask Carly, but I'm looking at the cheating, lying piece of shit who was charming his way into another girl's pussy while I was stacking shelves to get cash for our dinner.

"Yeah," she laughs. "Twin flames meant to be."

If there's a flame in this room, it's me right now, and it's all set to hit gunpowder. My knee is still bouncing under the table, and I want to scream in his face that he's a cunt. An absolute cunt who can rot in hell.

But the douchebag stares right back at me, and oh my God, he looks pissed off. The wanker has the audacity to look pissed off.

"How long have you guys been together?" Connor asks me, switching the focus.

"Since Christmas," I say. "Thereabouts."

"And you became a hooker then, did you? After you met him?"

Josh's family must wonder what the hell is going on, because if looks could kill, Connor would be a dead man.

"No, actually. I was a hooker before I met Josh. I met Josh because I worked at The Agency, not the other way around."

"Right."

"Yes. That is right."

The other guests are scanning each other's expressions, trying to work out what's going down here, and I wish I could bury the anger, and the hurt, and the shock, and get on with Sunday dinner. But I can't.

"Really sorry, everyone," I say. "But I need the bathroom." I'm on heart-thumping autopilot as Heather gives me an of course, let me show you the way and gestures to the door.

Josh goes to stand up along with me, but any dialogue will only rub salt into a very, very deep fucking wound right now, so I squeeze his shoulder with a fake smile and say be right back, baby, and then I'm out of there, following his smiling mum as she leads the way through the kitchen to a utility room. The bathroom is right at the far end, and thank fuck for that, because otherwise everyone would hear the retch I make as soon as the sound of her feet disappear away from the door.

I throw up my water first in one huge stream. A retch, and another heave, and there comes my sausage sandwich from earlier, but I can't stop. I throw up everything until I'm dry heaving, and still it comes. I'm on my knees, insides tangled, and the very thought of Connor's face has me heaving again… and seeing her here. Carly. Seeing them together…

It's different than I could have ever imagined. Not least because she's Josh's fucking SISTER.

There's a knock at the bathroom door, and my heart starts thumping again. I don't know what to say to poor Josh. Sorry for being sick over my ex, but he's a cunt. A cunt who now knows I'm a hooker…

Yeah, that'll probably do it.

"Be right out, baby," I manage to say. "Just feeling a bit…"

Another dry heave, and I curse myself. Fuck it, I'm going to have to face the music and let him in here, dry heaving or not. Why bother hiding?

I flush the toilet, then climb to my feet on shaky legs and get the door latch, trying to smile as I swing it open enough to let him in. Only it's not Josh's shoulder that barges past me. It's not Josh who takes the bathroom door from me and shuts it tight.

"Bastard!" I hiss to Connor, and the barrage runs free. "You were all over that little cow from night one, weren't you? Twin flames? How fucking cute. She doesn't even know you were cheating, does she? What did you tell her, hey? That I was a distant ex from the past and you were free and single, ready to get your dick wet? Did you ever give a shit at all?"

I can't stop the torrent. I want to shout and scream about how he used me and betrayed me and fed me lies, because of that thing in there. The girl who wants to see him make it like he's a fucking rock god, just like I did.

Bastard. Absolute bastard cunt.

I ball my hands into fists, my nails digging into my palms as he takes a breath to speak. I brace myself, ready for the excuses. It wasn't like that, or some such bullshit… but his expression says anything but.

"I don't give a flying shit about twin flames, Ella. And I don't give a fuck about this bullshit with Carly. Who gives a toss? The most important question here is why the holy fucking hell are you a hooker? What the fuck's going on?!"

I step back from him, unsteady, because of course… in my world The Agency has become normalised, albeit embarrassing when it's bandied about over a dinner table… but in his world…

Connor's eyes are wide. Shocked. Horrified. He points a thumb at the door behind him.

"Did he put you up to this? Josh? Has he got you involved in some seedy den or something?"

I pull a face. "A seedy den? Uh, no. And no, Josh definitely didn't put me up to anything."

Connor looks at me like I'm insane. He holds out his hands, like he's trying to talk me down from hysteria.

"I can get you out of here. Don't worry. I've got contacts now. Carly wasn't lying. My platform is growing, and we can run soon, me and you. Just a few more viral videos, and I'll be on my way to the top."

Oh, right. I see.

He thinks I need saving.

He thinks I need saving from spreading my legs for cash, but that's ok, because he'll help me, yeah.

Just as soon as his career takes off. Just like fucking always.

Fuck retching like a mess on Heather and Phil's floor. I'm done with it.

"I don't need your help anymore, Connor, not that you ever gave it anyway. You and your viral videos can fuck right off. Just leave me the hell alone, will you?"

He lowers his eyebrows, like he always used to do when we were arguing.

"Hey, hold up a minute. You fuck men for money. Of course you need my help!"

"Why?"

He taps the side of his head. "Because you've lost your fucking mind!"

"No, you tosser! I've found my fucking mind. You're the one who sent me batshit. Being an entertainer made me sane again."

"An entertainer?!" He glares at me, shaking his head. "You fuck guys for cash. That's not an entertainer. That's a prostitute! It's a fucking whore!"

"It is an entertainer," I tell him. "And it's not just guys I fuck, actually. It's people. My client profile is quite varied."

"And the purple haired freak in there? He's doing this with you, is he?"

"Josh is an entertainer, yes, but he doesn't do it with me. We're not a double act. He's my boyfriend, not my coworker." I curse myself as I realise what I'm doing. I'm justifying myself to an asshole. "And even if we were a double act," I say, "it's none of your fucking business. How about you stay focused on your sweet little Carly and viral videos, and I'll keep focused on my own shit? We're done, thanks."

I go for the door, but he holds it closed.

"We're not done. We're sitting at the same dinner table, and your boyfriend is my girlfriend's fucking brother. And even if we weren't, it wouldn't make any difference. I don't want you being a fucking whore, Ella. No way."

I fold my arms across my chest, finally finding my backbone.

"Really? Well, I do want to be a fucking whore. So chow it down, bastard."

He scoffs at me. "You want to be a whore? For real?"

"Yes. For real. I love being a whore."

"And how about your parents? Do they love you being a whore as well?"

Oh shit. My newly found backbone disappears, and my mouth drops open in pure, abject fear. Connor's got me, and he knows it. He raises his eyebrows.

"You haven't told them, have you? Of course you haven't."

"That's none of your business."

The bastard has the cheek to sneer at me.

"Uh, I think you'll find it is. We were together for seven years, if you remember? I think they'd be pretty pissed to find out I knew you were a hooker and didn't give them a heads up."

"Connor!" I hiss. "Don't you fucking dare! Don't even think about it!"

"I won't have to if you see sense and get the fuck out of here. Like I said, a bit more time and I'll be hitting high. The bright lights are calling, and we can go together, me and you."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I love you, Ella. I always have. If you'd have just fucking replied to me, maybe we'd be through it by now."

I gesture towards the dining room. "Yeah? Well, it doesn't seem like your hot new girlfriend in the music industry knows that, does she? Shall we go and tell her now? Get it all out in the open? See how much of a twin flame she feels when she knows she means sweet fuck all to you, like I did."

I see the flash of fear in his eyes. I've got him by the balls right back.

I guess Carly has brought him more contacts than he was willing to give credit for. He needs her, at least for now.

"Let's get out of here," I say. "This situation looks weird enough, without people thinking we're taking a shit together."

"We haven't resolved anything."

"There is nothing to resolve. You're a cunt and I'm a whore. End of. Now, back to dinner. We keep our mouths shut and eat our carrots. Job fucking done."

I only hope I'm conveying more confidence than I'm feeling.

"Ella," he tries again, still holding the door, but I tug at his wrist, trying to get the fuck out of there.

"Let me out!" I snap, and the door swings open wide.

But it isn't Connor in charge of the door handle, it's Josh, and he pulls me to him, wrapping an arm around my waist as he looks my ex up and down.

"It's ok," I say to Josh. "We were just leaving."

"No, we weren't," Connor says. "We've got things to talk about, Ells."

Josh looks at Connor like he's nothing but shit. Apt observation.

"I think you should get back to your girlfriend at the table, don't you? I'll stay here with mine."

Josh's tone is so strong. Confident. Powerful.

All the things I love about him.

"Go on," he says. "My sister is waiting for you. Get out of here."

Connor holds his jaw high as he pushes his way past us, a glint of hatred in his eyes. One I haven't seen from him before. He's cocky, but never menacing, but with Josh…

The two of them are as cold as ice, glaring at each other.

"Ella's not your fucking girlfriend," Connor says. "She's your whore."

With that Mr Twin Flames adjusts his collar and puts on his swagger, and heads on back to the dinner table.

Josh's mood changes in an instant. He closes the bathroom door and shuts us back in, safe from prying eyes. He brushes a thumb across my cheek and looks me right in the eyes, his gaze full of concern.

"What happened in here? Are you ok?"

I stare back at the true love of my life, and it's such a contrast from looking at Connor that I take a deep breath, calling on the angels for some perspective. But they've already given it.

Connor is a major prick. That's all there is to it.

"We can go," Josh says. "We can get in the car and drive off right now, just say the word. I'd have been here sooner, but Mum was grilling me in the kitchen, and I was trying to give you a few seconds, if you needed them. But now I know you don't, it's fine." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his car keys. "I came prepared. We can go."

It's a lovely offer, to disappear in the middle of the carnage, but I summon up every single ounce of confidence I have in my soul.

"No, I don't want to leave, thank you," I tell my boyfriend. "I want to meet your family and enjoy Sunday lunch with them, just like we planned. Connor can go to hell."

"You sure?" Josh asks. "Absolutely? One hundred percent?"

I open the bathroom door, then take his hand.

"I've never been more sure in my life."