12. Miles

12

MILES

M y lab was supposed to be my sanctuary, the closest thing I got to a happy place. Usually, the second I stepped through the doors into the clean, sterile space, my mind clicked into its optimal mode for work and everything else fell away. But after yesterday's confusing run-in with Lila Dawson, my brain was nothing but hazy, lustful mush. Even the microscopes and exorbitantly-priced equipment couldn't fix me.

Every thought was just about her .

It was a maelstrom of emotions I was struggling to compartmentalize. First, the warmth of appreciation for how kind and gentle she'd been with me in my moment of pure panic. That, I was able to handle. But it was quickly overtaken by a raging need when I recalled her soft, plush curves pressing into me as if begging me to fuck her—the look on her face, needy and a little afraid, when I almost took her lips with my own. Christ, it had been hard to sleep with that memory still hanging over me. All of that torment from a fucking hug.

Then, at last, was the guilt. I hadn't felt this kind of attraction for someone since Janessa. She'd been a perfect ray of sunlight that drew me in from the start, shaking me free of my preference for overcast gray. Honestly, Lila reminded me of her in that way. Both women had generous spirits and smiles that took up their whole faces, and now that I thought about it, I was so sure the two would have made great friends. After Janessa died, I was convinced I'd never feel that kind of pull toward a woman again, and I preferred it that way. It felt unscrupulous, deceitful even, to be lusting after someone else when in my heart, I knew I should still be married.

Besides, Lila was so… young. Terribly innocent, practically untouched—or at least, I was convinced that was the case. I was too old for her, and her employer. It was completely inappropriate for me to be longing to know how she would look on her knees, sucking my cock. And Christ, the way my body reacted to just the thought of that… yeah, definitely inappropriate.

My hands slipped as I was changing out slides in the microscope I'd been fiddling with this whole time. Instantly, the fragile glass shattered, breaking the silence in the lab, too. "Shit," I swore when a tiny glass shard embedded itself into my palm. One of my employees helped me pull it out with tweezers, and after a lot of fumbling and more swearing under my breath, I cleaned up the mess and stomped up to my office, locking the door behind me.

I couldn't work like this. Distracted, on edge, amped up with a teenage level of horniness that had my cock standing at full attention inside my slacks. Fuck, it was throbbing, Lila's full curves dancing around my mind in a seductive hypnotism only making it near-painful. There was really only one thing I could do, just to get it out of my system. I'd never, ever done anything remotely sexual at work before, but this was an emergency situation. I double checked that the door was securely locked, and then I raced to my office chair, my hands fumbling with my belt and my zipper.

I pulled out my cock in the privacy of my office and almost groaned. Christ, it was red and engorged, and the slightest touch was nearly torture. Carefully, I took my shaft into my hand, lightly squeezing at the base as if to steady myself. Then, with sweet Lila Dawson and her pink lips in my head, I started to pump myself slowly.

Christ, it felt good to let my mind go, to fully embrace the fantasy of Lila. I imagined her naked in front of me, all of that succulent flesh on display—full breasts with hard, pink nipples. A soft middle that would be perfect to kiss, to hold onto. Wide, flared hips and decadent thighs I was dying to spread. And in between, the hot, slick folds of a perfect pink pussy, dying to be filled up with my cock.

"Fuck," I whispered as I increased my pace. I needed to come, needed to explode and release this frustration so I could function again. While I jerked myself off, I thought of Lila's soft hand doing this, the hesitance she'd likely have at first, though she'd gain confidence as she stroked. I wanted to groan aloud when the Lila of my fantasy leaned in, her round breasts dangling like perfect, sweet grapes on a vine as she brought her lips closer to my hardness. I could see it so clearly, those plump, sweet lips of hers parting, her leaning in to kiss my cock's head, sweet enough to bring one to tears. And then her tongue would join her as she took me fully into her mouth, sucking me hard and moaning against me.

I gasped as I came, surprising myself with the force of it. My hot load shot up, a perfect arc of cum that some sick part of me wished Lila were here to lap up. Instead, it splattered onto the edge of my desk, and once I'd caught my breath and my cock stopped twitching, slowly softening back to its resting state, I tucked it away back into my pants. I was cleaning up the mess when there was a knock on my office door. I almost jumped out of my skin.

"Fuck," I hissed, making sure to fully get rid of the evidence of my depravity. "Just a second," I called to whoever was on the other side of the door. I double checked that my zipper was secure, my belt re-buckled, my shameful tissues safely in the trash can before I unlocked and pulled open the door.

Felipe was there, bright-eyed and smiling, though his face sank when he saw my expression. Hell, I could only imagine how I looked—like I'd just buried a body or something. I struggled to relax my face as I invited my colleague in.

"To what do I owe the pl—visit?" I asked, stopping myself from even thinking of the word pleasure after the dirty deed I'd just committed. Fuck, my cheeks might have even been a little red, and there was no way Felipe wouldn't notice that as my oldest friend. I avoided his gaze, though I could feel his eyes on me, searching for what had me acting so weird.

"Well," he finally said after a too-long pause, "I wanted to talk to you. Man to man."

"Work related?"

"Personal," Felipe said, his lips twitching. "If you can handle it."

I rolled my eyes. Felipe talked with me about personal matters all the time, and he knew that was perfectly allowed, since we were friends before we were business partners. He was an open book, and though I wasn't as able to express it as he was, I loved that he trusted me enough to share the intimate details of his life. But since I was less likely to reciprocate in our one-sided sharing time, he liked to tease me about it. I waved him on as I went back to my seat as if I hadn't just been embracing my filthy thoughts in that same spot, and Felipe took the chair across from me, settling in with an almost-giddy air about him.

"Well, it is about a woman," he started after a brief pause.

"That's new," I said, raising my brows. Felipe was often too caught up in his dreams of finding a perfect wife to recognize any real-life eligible women in front of him. "Who is she?"

"Lila, in fact. Your new nanny."

My heart skidded to a stop in my chest before redoubling its efforts. "What about her?" I struggled to ask in a reasonable tone.

"She— we —have been… talking lately. Since she asked me to check with you about her nannying Olivia with Aaron's nephew." He shrugged.

"Talking?" I repeated.

"Flirting, I guess you'd call it," he admitted, running a hand through his black hair. "And I wanted your advice before I ask her to have dinner with me, because I'm unsure whether that's wildly inappropriate or not. You're a logical man, so I thought you could be more objective than I am."

"I'm… wow. I'm not sure I can be much help in this kind of situation," I said while my pulse thundered in my ears. "Why does my opinion matter?"

"You're my friend, and the smartest man I know. Your opinion matters to me."

Oh, fuck. The idea that Felipe had been charmed by the young woman who had just come into our lives like a whirlwind had occurred to me, but the second I started to notice her charms, all of my previous suspicions had gone out the window. It made sense, in a way. He was charming, younger than me, and certainly more handsome—and Lila was, of course, absolutely delectable. The two of them made sense together in my brain. The same was not true for Lila and me .

Goddamn it. Did it have to be Lila? Jealousy reared its ugly green head in my chest, clawing its way out through my ribcage. But it was absolutely ridiculous to think that I had any claim over Lila, any right to be jealous when all I'd done was masturbate to fantasies of her after a fucking hug . I hadn't even parsed out my feelings for her yet, whether they were more than simple lust or only fleeting, and Felipe was the better man of the two of us, anyway. Realistically, he deserved her.

Hell, maybe it was better if she and Felipe started things up. Then I'd definitely have to keep my hands off her, since I wasn't about to steal my best friend's girl. It would certainly be better for my work ethic.

"Well, I think... if she's okay with it, it's not an issue. Go for it, if you want."

"Really?" Felipe asked, as if sensing my hesitation. I met his eyes, willing my brain to make use of its many compartments.

"Really. You like her?"

Felipe let out a nervous laugh. "Yes, I think I really do. She's so… well, I don't have to tell you. You've met her."

Boy, had I. My brow furrowed, but I hoped he'd take it as confusion—like I couldn't see exactly what drew him to her, even though I felt that same magnetic attraction to the nanny from next door.

"Then you should ask her out," I forced myself to say to him. "I'm sure she'll say yes."

My friend's face lit up with genuine relief. He stood from his chair, and I automatically followed, though I wasn't expecting him to hug me. Felipe was a hugger, but he knew that I… wasn't.

Although that hug with Lila had maybe converted me.

"Thank you, my friend," Felipe said to me when he pulled away, still grinning hugely. His eyes softened in the way people's eyes often did when they knew me as well as Felipe did, and I dreaded what he would say next. "I'm going to take your advice and ask Lila out. And I hope someday soon, you'll meet someone you like again. You deserve to find happiness, Miles."

And with that, he breezed back out of my office, leaving me with far more tumultuous thoughts than my myriad of neat mental boxes could handle.