Summer Journal

THE CARAVAN—TATE'S HOLIDAY PARK

AUGUST 23, 2010, 4 A.M.

Cora came to sit with us. She was wearing even more eyeliner than usual. She gave Frankie this nervous smile and whispered to me, thanks. I could just see her broken front tooth. There was a weird moment when she looked at Jake and he looked back at her and I saw him do a kind of double take. Hey, he said, looking a bit confused. Hey, she said back. So they knew each other. I guess it made sense, they were both locals.

Cora was like, Frankie, could I have a word? I want to explain some stuff. But Frankie had her head cocked to one side and was like no, let's not. It's... whatever. Let's live in the moment, yeah? That big smile again. She opened the Tupperware box and was like: have one of these, my lovely.

Frankie played some music. We listened for a bit and drank some more. The others came back from wherever they'd been and jumped in the pool, the girls screaming. Jake traced circles on my leg through the dress. I wanted it to be just us. I wanted to be away from this weird atmosphere. And then I looked up and saw that Frankie was watching his finger on my thigh. I thought of my cat, Widget, letting a spider run around in front of him before he pounced on it.

Then Frankie jumped up, clapped her hands. I'm bored. Let's go into the woods. And, like... take off all our clothes and commune with nature. She winked at me. Promise there won't be any surprises this time, Sparrow.

My heart started beating faster. I said, I dunno. It's getting late?

And she went: aw come on Sparrow. It's the end of the summer. Just once more. For old times' sake? She grabbed one of the solar-powered lanterns hanging by the pool. We'll take one of these so we can see the way.

And then we were all just following her like we didn't have any choice, through the walled garden to the woods.

But when we got to the end of the garden I got Jake to hang back, let Frankie and Cora go ahead. I don't want to go in there, I said. Not after everything. I don't know what she's playing at but it feels off.

Sure, he said. Let's not. Let's peel off when she's not looking, have some fun of our own. His lips right next to my ear, breath warm. Lots of places for us to get lost. He grinned. She did talk about taking off our clothes.

I could see Frankie's lantern bobbing off into the dark trees, but it was still pretty light cos of the supermoon.

So we turned and legged it, giggling like little kids. Couple of minutes later, I could hear Frankie calling us. I didn't even feel that bad. I took him to the tennis court cos it was close and I knew we'd be hidden by the hedges.

That's what this would all be about, if the other stuff hadn't happened.

How we lay down on the grass court. How we did take off our clothes (or some of them, anyway) and laughed at how the grass prickled us. How afterwards we lay there together, my head on his shoulder. Looking up at the huge moon. It sounds so corny but it was so nice. I have to write that. To try and remember it. It might be the last happy moment of my life.

Don't know how long we lay there like that (maybe we even fell asleep?) before the screaming started, from the woods. I can still hear it now. I knew then something was horribly wrong.