Eddie

I'VE BEEN DOWN IN THE kitchens washing plates from dinner for hours. I glance up through the small windows and see it's getting late: the first stars on the horizon. I head up and out through reception to get some fresh air.

"Eds," Ruby hisses from the front desk. "Come keep me company a sec."

I wander over. A few minutes later two women walk past, both of them wearing the little velvet crystal pouches from their rooms around their necks. One of them is touching hers over and over.

Ruby side-eyes them as they leave. "I saw this meme," she says, "that was like: ‘How can there be so many problems in the world when there are so many wealthy women with crystals?'"

Then she says, "Oh, have you heard? They're going to make us wear costumes tomorrow. For the feast. The guests have to wear white and, like, willow crowns or some shit. It's like they're going for this Midsommar aesthetic but haven't actually watched the film to see how it ends." She snaps off, straight into professional mode as an older man enters reception.

"Hey darling." The guy strides up to the desk then leans over it so his face is only a foot away from Ruby's. I'm genuinely impressed by how she manages not to duck away... or headbutt him. "Hugo Meadows. Know who I am?"

"Of course." Ruby smiles brightly at him. "How can I help you, Mr. Meadows?"

"Look. Got a guy arriving tonight—he's big news. Investor. Need you to really pull out all the stops for him. Treat him special, yeah?"

I wonder if he meant to make it sound like he's asking for something dodgy, like a certain kind of bloke might ask for a "special massage."

"You got it," Ruby says.

"Thanks gorgeous." He leans forward and chucks her under the chin.

Ruby watches him leave. Then she takes a deep breath and exhales: "Fucking wanker."

I'm about to, I dunno, apologize on behalf of all men when there's a strange sound from outside, a kind of howl. We both glance out through the front doors.

Ruby points. "Hey. Do they look OK to you?"

I follow her gaze, spot the couple walking through the dusk, wheeling bicycles up the drive. They're hunched over... And then halfway up the path the woman drops her bike with a clatter and sinks to her knees, putting her face in her hands. You can see her shoulders shaking from here. The guy lowers his bicycle and crouches over her. Are they having an argument? Is he comforting her? I watch as he sort of hauls her back to her feet. She folds over again and—oh, jeez—vomits into the grass on her hands and knees. A few other guests turn to stare at the spectacle.

"Shit," Ruby says. "I should probably go see what's going on."

The Manor is very hot on "bad energy." Dan, from the gardening team, told me a couple got quietly asked to leave earlier because they had a big argument at breakfast. First full day of their booking and they got sent packing!

I follow Ruby outside as she marches up to the couple. "Hello!" I hear her call in her brightest tone. "Can I help you with anything?"

The woman shakes her head, trembling as she rises to her feet. But the man steps forward and mutters in Ruby's ear. I see Ruby take a step backward. Then she places a soothing hand on the guy's shoulder and says something to him. She's gesturing toward the restaurant. What the hell is going on?

Ruby turns and starts walking back in this direction. "I've just told them to go and order the forager's tasting menu, on us," Ruby says. "A bottle of wine, whatever they like... and their whole stay will be complimentary... but it's kind of crazy."

"What's happened?"

"I think we'll have to get Michelle. They found... blood in the woods."

I swallow. What the hell? "Blood?"

"Yeah. Not just a few drops either. The guy said it was ‘like something from a horror film.'"