Chapter 20

TWENTY

TAVISH

I side-eye Ellis.

I can tell he’s on the brink of something. Usually when I’m on the brink, I want to shoot something or stab something. But I have an odd feeling he wants to just crawl into the corner and cry.

I mean, he’s fully allowed to cry as long as he’s prepared for me to have no damn idea how to comfort him. But he just sits there, refusing to acknowledge anything that’s happening around him.

“Did you find anything out with the dead guy?” Ellis asks.

“That he was dead,” Leland unhelpfully responds.

“Wow, never would have guessed,” I say. “Did you figure anything else out?”

“They likely killed him while we were in the building.”

“What did you do after I left?” I ask.

“Cassel copied what he could to his fancy little tech thing and then we slipped back out and knocked on the door until someone noticed. We told them that we’d seen Nate head in there half an hour earlier, and we really were getting tired of waiting for him,” Leland says. “We left the door unlocked so it’d be easier to find him. They were all like, ‘Oh my god, a dead body,’ and then some lady just threw up everywhere which was nasty, and Cassel almost stepped in it, and then he nearly threw up and that’s when you called.”

“A lot happened in the span of like two minutes,” I realize.

“We are very quick men.”

“That’s concerning,” I mutter.

“Not in bed. I am a very talented lover in bed. Ask Jackson.”

Jackson pretends he’s not part of this conversation, so Leland takes it upon himself to pretend to be Jackson as he goes “Boyee, Leland is the motherfucking best in bed. He knows how to dance with my danglies.”

“Oh wow, Jackson, I didn’t know that,” Cassel says sarcastically. “And what do you think about The Fence?”

“‘Aye, The Fence is the greatest creation ever created. Thinking about it makes me moist and my nipples perky,’” Leland replies, somehow making Jackson sound a bit like a pirate.

“I think I’ve spoken enough for one day,” Jackson says. “Maybe even enough for a lifetime.”

I lean into the front seat. “Can you drop me off at my place? So I can grab some stuff?”

“They might be watching your place,” Cassel says.

“Fuck. It’s a risk I’m willing to take; I need some shit. Jackson, can I borrow your car?”

Jackson lets out an indistinguishable noise before saying, “You can borrow Leland’s car.”

“I’d prefer yours.”

Jackson just chuckles a little and then doesn’t reply, which tells me I’m not getting anywhere near that car. Ah well.

When we get back to their house, Leland tosses me the keys.

I eye the keys before trying to hand them back. “I don’t want this car. You clearly stole it.”

“Just don’t leave too many fingerprints on it and it’ll be A-okay.”

Jackson shakes his head. “We didn’t steal it. We… borrowed it.”

“That sounds just as concerning, but ah well,” I say as I head to the driver’s seat before turning to Ellis. “El, ya coming or staying?”

He hesitates for a long moment before walking over and getting into the passenger seat. As we drive away, he asks, “Are we going to get arrested for driving a stolen vehicle?”

“Very well might.”

“I’m starting to think jail might be the safest spot for me,” Ellis mutters.

“Nah, you’re super safe right here,” I assure him as I pat his leg. “I promise you, you’ve never been safer.”

He seems skeptical about that, so I just give his leg another pat. See? I’m doing this whole affection thing with a lot of finesse. I might be patting too much at this point… or am I not patting enough? Hell if I know.

“You okay?” Ellis asks.

“Yeah, why are you reassuring me ? I’m the one reassuring you!”

“It was the way you’re still stopped at this stop sign while patting my leg with a deep look of concentration on your face that made me wonder if something was off,” he explains.

“Oh no, no, I was simply showering you with reassurance,” I promise him. “You might not realize this, but I’m actually phenomenal at this type of stuff.”

“Thanks. But more than anything, thank you for saving my life,” he says, his brown eyes catching mine. “Thank you so much.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” I assure him.

He shrugs. “Well… you barely know me… but I guess that’s the case with my dad too. Ha. How stupid. I was over here thinking I’d come save him or something. That if he really was alive, he was being held hostage or something, and I’d swoop in and bring him home and we’d be this big happy family again. But I guess that only happens in the movies, doesn’t it?”

I start driving again as I think about that. “Not necessarily… but some people need to want to be saved. And others really think the only way to be saved is to save themselves.”

“He definitely picked that option,” Ellis mutters. “I’m just… like why would you come to me when my own father didn’t? He wanted nothing to do with me… whatever. I’m not worried about him anymore. Fuck him.”

“Do you want to be done with him, then? Or do you still want answers?”

“No, answers aren’t worth putting anyone’s life at risk. I want to keep my mom and sister safe. After that, I don’t give a shit what happens. Can I have another of those fancy taser things?”

“Sure, we’ll make Leland buy you more.”

“Is Leland rich or something?”

“Quite. And the greedy fucker tries to play it off like he’s not. He owes me thousands.”

“Why’s that?”

“Just for putting up with him.”

“So… how much does he actually owe you?” he asks.

“Uh… I… uh… probably owe him.”

He grins at me. “I’m still very confused. So how’d you two meet?” he asks, but what’s there to be confused about?

I consider the best way to word this so Ellis will understand my side of the story. “He was in this house.”

“Uh-huh?”

“And I was also in there with some… other guys.”

Ellis is already looking suspicious. “I’m confused. Were you both supposed to be in this house?”

“Well… one of us might have been more invited than the other.”

“You?” he asks hopefully.

I just smile at him, hoping that smile fixes any confusion he might have over the situation. “Yes.”

“You sound really confident about that,” he says sarcastically.

“Do I? That’s just how I always sound,” I assure him.

“So… you broke into a house they were in for what reason?”

I grit my teeth a bit. “I’m not going to say I’m a good person.”

“I see…”

“But I’m not necessarily a bad person.”

“I’m a confused person,” Ellis decides.

That makes me laugh. “Fine, fine. My job was to stop Leland and his crew, so… I tried. But once I got to understand things a bit better, we became steadfast friends.”

“Was this before or after the knife fight up the stairs?”

“It was after I held Jackson at gunpoint but before the stairs. Well, it was around the stairs that I started to realize that maybe things weren’t quite as they seemed.”

“You held Jackson at gunpoint ?”

Can I just say I love the way his eyes get so wide?

“He enjoyed it. He later told me it was one of the most thrilling nights he’d ever had, and that Leland had never thrilled him that much,” I joke.

“I feel like you’re horribly mistaken about all of this. Or maybe I’m horribly mistaken. I’m still confused. Are you the good guy?”

“Sure as fuck am,” I assure him. “I’m the best guy.”

His scrutinizing eyes tell me he’s not so sure about that, but my charming smile will surely do the trick.

Ellis’s eyes narrow even more before he finally breaks and smiles at me.

“Come on, El, you can’t really take their side, can you?”

He shakes his head. “Trust me, I’m not taking anyone’s side. I’m simply confused how you think you’re the good guy.”

“Well… I… didn’t murder either of them… although… I’m kind of confident Leland would murder me first. I could take on Jackson, but Leland’s a whole different breed.”

“Really?” he asks. “He seems…”

“Incompetent? Useless? Irritating?”

“I don’t know that any of the ways I’d describe him would be that mean. Maybe easily distracted?”

“He is, but you don’t want to be at the other end of that man’s barrel. The name he went by as a hitman was one you knew to fear. If someone told you that the Sandman had your name, you’d expect to be dead within a day.”

“You’re joking, right?” Ellis asks.

“I’m not. But he’s not a hitman anymore. He’s more of a… runs headfirst into bullshit kind of man now. Jackson’s really tamed him. I guess Jackson gave him the ultimatum that if he was going to live with him, Leland couldn’t take any more jobs. Eventually, he caved a bit, so that’s why he still gets involved in things like this.”

“Interesting,” Ellis says. “What about Jackson?”

“Jackson’s just a standard PI. After serving in the military, he became a PI before getting wrapped up in Leland’s nonsense.”

“And Cassel?”

“Cassel was also a hitman. He was raised by the same guy Leland was but at different times, so they didn’t meet each other until they were adults and Cassel was sent by the guy to harass Leland… or maybe kill him? I really don’t know that much.”

“Is it okay that you’re telling me all of this?”

“Sure. Not my life.”

Ellis smiles again and there’s something about it that just captures my attention. “What about you?” he asks as I pull the car over about a block from my house.

“Eh. Nothing much about me. Pretty boring, really.”

“Boring is like… my life before I met all of you. I cannot fathom any of you being boring. Tell me something interesting about you. I’m boring. You’re not.”

“Aye, that’s because you dinna get out enough,” I say.

“Just tossing out the thicker side of your accent on random words isn’t getting you out of this question. Why do you think this is a tactic that works?”

“The bonnie lasses love it. And so do the lads.”

“No. Put it away. Tell me something about yourself. Why do you switch to trying to distract me?”

“I dinna ken.”

“Now I don’t even know what you’re saying! You’re trying to distract me!”

“Aye, you silly lad. Maybe you need to expand your English?”

“Yeah? Alright, teach me a Scottish word, then.”

“Shite.”

“That’s not even… is that even Scottish?” Ellis snorts before raising an eyebrow at me. “How about an insult to use the next time we’re fucked with… Wait… Bravo.”

“What?”

“You’re doing a fantastic job trying to distract me. No! I want to know about you.”

“There’s nothing to know. I’m boring.”

“No, being boring is like… eating a Pop-Tart for supper because you want to play video games with your internet friends that you’ve never met, and you don’t have time for real human food.”

“See? You could’ve been friends with assassins all along. No one knows who’s on the other side of the monitor.”

“Uhh… I would like to believe that I’ve hit my quota on how many assassins I can meet in my life. Just… I mean. Right? Please? Also, where are we going? I feel like I need to be physically and mentally prepared. Am I going to have to fight for my life?”

“Hopefully not. I just want to figure out who the fuck was in my house.”

“Wasn’t it Leland?”

“Besides Leland.”

“So when did you come here from Scotland?”

“Eh, ten years ago, probably.”

“Why’d you come here?”

“Same reason you’re involved in this mess.”

Ellis’s nose scrunches adorably. “Because some man wants to take me to Murder Island and beat me up for unknown reasons?”

“No, the other part.”

“The part where you threw me out of a plane? I’m sorry, I seem to mainly focus on the traumas I’ve endured.”

“To find my father.”

“Oh. Did you find him?”

I just grunt, positive that should suffice as an answer, but I should have known better. He’s quite pesky.

“Was that a yes grunt or a no grunt? I know a little Spanish since my mom’s fluent, but I can’t speak the language of noncommittal noises.”

“I found him. Or maybe more accurately, I think he found me,” I say.

He points to the house. “Wait, you think that’s the guy who broke into your house?”

“Maybe.”

“Wouldn’t Leland have noticed the accent?”

“Oh, my father is a conniving man, he can whip out any accent and make himself seem like he belongs. It’s a talent of his.”

“Is it like how you whip out random words you think make you sound more Scottish?”

“Worse.”

“Sounds… rough.”

“Rough is putting it lightly,” I say.

“Was your father an assassin? Is that how you got into this line of work?” Ellis asks as we hurry up to my house.

“He’s a liar, a cheat, a thief, a scumbag, and a killer. But no, he didn’t teach me how to kill like this. I learned how to kill because of it, though. Because, funnily enough, it was better than what he was trying to make me do. Enough of this nonsense. It’s honestly quite boring. I’ve actually never talked about something so boring in my life,” I say as I grab the hidden key and let myself into the house. “Looks like Leland’s already had the window repaired. Awfully nice of him,” I mutter as I notice the new window, sticker still on it. The moment I step into the house, my eyes are drawn to that stupid little basket sitting out in the open. I hurry over and drop a blanket onto it before Ellis can notice.

“I would ask but it’s probably best not to know what you just hid. Was it a weapon? A grenade? If I don’t ask and don’t look, I can pretend it’s nothing more than a basket of daisies.”

“Lots of fucking daisies,” I assure him, which makes him laugh.

“How long have you lived here?” Ellis asks as he looks around.

I eye the space. “Uhh… like six months or so.”

“I… see,” he says as if he doesn’t like my minimalistic approach. “You’re using a large Amazon box as a TV stand?”

“Well, the TV stand is in the box.”

“How long have you had that?”

“Not long at all. Maybe… five months. I don’t do much at home, and if I’m home I just…” Don’t ever have the motivation to do anything. It’s not that it feels too daunting. I’m positive I could accomplish it. It’s more like… there’s no damn use. This house will change, just like every place I’ve tried to call home in my life. I’ll pick up and wander off. It’s like a fucking family curse that my father has dropped right onto me.

“I see. I… can help you build it… I mean… when this is all over… if you want,” Ellis says, then looks kind of embarrassed he mentioned it. “Unless you never want to see me again for the rest of your life, which is totally understandable. Ha.”

I glance over at the ridiculously sweet man. “You’re really fucking cute, you know that?” I ask. “How are you still single?”

He grins at that, but his eyebrows also lift. “And you are easily confused. You are ten times more charismatic than me, funnier, outgoing, and you’re right, the accent does do something.”

I grin back as I step up to him and am thrilled when he leans into me instead of moving away. “Oh yeah? What’s it do?”

The smirk playing at his lips is what’s doing something to me.

“Things… questionable things… things that make me question even more questionable things,” he says.

I chuckle and he gives me a soft laugh.

He’s watching me closely as I question whether enough time has passed since I wrongly abducted him for him to allow me to kiss him. I feel like that’s all in the past now, right? We’ll just forget all of that happened.

Ellis gives my face a light pat. “I would let you kiss me, but I have a rule with myself that I only kiss people who won’t disappear on me. You might not know this, I know I’ve definitely never brought it up, but I have this trauma from someone close to me just fucking off. You know? Like my father? And it led me to believe that anyone at any point in time could just walk out that door and never come back. Never write a letter, never call… just be gone forever. And…” He looks around my house. At the boxed TV stand, the lack of a kitchen table, the cupboard left half open that shows only a single bag of chips inside. “You kind of have a… vibe about you that says you might not hang around too long.”

I think about that for a moment, wanting to assure him I’ll be whatever he wants me to be. But would that be a lie? I really don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I don’t know when I’ll just jump up and head to the next spot. It’s like my father instilled in me that there’s something more, something else… and I’ve always been seeking it. And even after I ditched my father’s lifestyle, I couldn’t ditch my wandering. Six months is the longest I’ve ever stayed anywhere, and I’ve already started getting antsy.

His smile is sweet, but he also looks a little disappointed when I step back, feeling like I don’t know what to say. How can I promise him something when I’m not sure I can keep that promise? Hating myself, I head deeper into the house toward my bedroom. When I look back at him, he doesn’t seem upset with me. Disappointed, maybe, but not upset. No, he’s too damn nice. Do I deserve someone that nice? I mean… I really fucking want him… but do I know him enough to give him that commitment? “Well. Maybe I’ve just never had anyone worth hanging around for.”

“Hmm…” he mutters as he follows close behind me. “I’m not going anywhere… so… I don’t know… if you decide you ever might choose to stick around, maybe we could go out for a coffee… or you could throw me out of a plane again.”

I look back at him and grin. “Decisions, decisions. Whichever would I choose?”

Ellis smiles at me, and I’m so fucking tempted to turn around and press him against the wall. I’d tell him anything he wants to hear to see what those lips taste like, to feel him naked against me… under me… on top of me… I want it all.

“You’re killing me,” I mutter because I don’t know how to promise anyone anything. While his father ran, my father taught me how to run. He taught me how to be like a parasite that got what they needed by using others before feeding off something new.

“Why am I not even surprised your mattress is on the floor? I actually would have felt creeped out if it wasn’t on the floor. At least there are sheets on it.”

“I have a frame,” I assure him, oddly a little… embarrassed by this. I mean, it isn’t that I don’t have the means for that stuff; it’s that it got tiresome setting everything up each time I moved.

“Yeah? Where is it? Are you using it as a rack in the bathroom or something?”

“Out in the garage. I was using it as a table for some car parts,” I say. “I mean, I should at least get some points for being clean?”

“Oh, you’re definitely clean. This place is spotless. Eerily so. Almost feels like it’s perfectly clean because there’s nothing here.”

“Thank you,” I reply as I head over to the corner and yank up part of the carpet.

“What are you doing now?”

“Checking something,” I say as I pull it back far enough to reveal the hatch I’d made in the floor. Of course the lock mechanism is busted, and when I pull it open, the safe is inside but it feels ridiculously light.

I drag it out and see the key is still in the keyhole. I turn it, wondering how the hell the asshole found the key as well. I open it and see a single piece of paper inside with an IOU written on it.

“Goddamn, I wanna punch that man,” I mutter before tossing it back inside. “Alright. Let me grab some clothes and a couple of guns, then let’s go.”

“He took your stuff?” Ellis asks, looking upset on my behalf. It kind of throws me a bit that he cares so much.

“That’s what he does. I mean, it was nothing irreplaceable, at least. Some money, one of my favorite guns… it’s just the fact that he does this shit…”

“I’m sorry. That has to be so frustrating. Why would he do that?” he asks.

Fucking hell, this guy is cute.

“Because he’s an asshole, that’s why. Simple as that,” I inform him. As I gather up everything I need, I tote it out toward the car when both my phone and Ellis’s beep. I dump all my shit in the back seat and pull my phone out.

Leland: I have an ultra-secret object that I NEED you two to pick up. You’re the only ones who can pick it up. I have placed all of my faith and bubbling love into this task.

Me: Take your bubbling bullshit and ask someone else.

But the moment my text goes through, another text pops up from the very man inches from me.

Ellis: Of course! Anything you need, we’ll pick up! Thank you again so much for helping us today. I would love to help you in any way I can.

Ellis must read my text because he looks up at me. “Oh… was I supposed to say no?”

Leland: ELLIS. You are like a cute little angel shat down from heaven to bless my very day.

Henry: Why the fuck am I involved in this group text now! And Ellis, if Leland is using flowery or weird language, you should know better than to agree.

Leland: He already agreed. No takebacks.

Ellis: He’s really doing so much to help me, I honestly don’t mind helping him.

Henry: Delete my number, Leland. And stop tainting innocent men.

Leland: Ellis, get yourself a Daddy like I’ve gotten myself a Daddy.

Henry: Christ.

Me: Leland, stop using his kindness to manipulate him.

Leland: GASP. I would never! Ellis, I’ll ping you the location since the rest of these men are butthurt that you’re quickly becoming my favorite.

Ellis: I’m sure they’re just teasing you. You seem very nice.

Henry: Christ.

Cassel: Is anyone else suspicious about how nice this Ellis guy is?

Cassel: Whoops. That wasn’t supposed to be in the chat with him in it.

Cassel: Ellis, don’t be mad. You are suspicious, though. But that’s just because we’re horrible people and not accustomed to kindness. It creeps us out.

Ellis: I’m creeping you out?

Me: If you want to be creeped out, go into Leland’s basement.

Cassel: Tavish, not to sound creepy myself like I’m stalking you or anything because I’m totally not. I just set up a camera to watch your house in case anyone came to look for you, and it’s programmed to flag me if anyone comes snooping around the house. But knowing that people want to murder you and still standing in front of your house just so you can text Leland for five minutes about nonsense is likely not the smartest of moves.

Me: Leland did this on purpose. He wants me to get murdered.

Leland: Oh nooooooooooo. I would nnnnnnnnneverrrrrrrrrr.

I sigh and usher Ellis back to the car.