Chapter Twenty Four

Ash's heart was jumping and flipping in her chest like a caught frog. She'd honestly never felt like this before in her life. But she wasn't foolish enough to be afraid. Nervous, sure, nerves were natural, not afraid though.

She followed Pen up the stairs, admiring the shape of her from behind, and marveled at how this all seemed so… natural, so normal almost. If she thought hard about it she realized that they'd known each other for only a few weeks. If she stopped thinking she felt like they'd known each other forever.

Pen's hand was tight in hers as Pen led her into the flat and turned to lock the door behind them.

"Sure?" Pen asked, big blue eyes looking up at her.

Ash half wanted to eat her, half wanted to hold her, half wanted to kiss her, and had suddenly grown to a whole 1.5 persons apparently. Her heart fluttered again. "Absolutely sure." She looked around. "So… where?"

"Bedroom?" suggested Pen.

Ash grinned and nodded and let herself be taken by the hand again into Pen's bedroom. It was precisely how she would have imagined it if she'd taken time to imagine it. Lamps, throws, too many pillows on the bed, all Pen, fluffy and light and comfortable and lovely.

She swallowed, feeling suddenly a little awkward. Pen squeezed her hand.

"It's going to be fine. We go slow, we stop whenever you like, and we communicate, okay?" said Pen.

Ash nodded, her mouth dry. "Can I kiss you?"

"Of course."

Ash leaned in, letting their mouths meet, letting their bodies mold together until she felt the familiar heat rising again, felt her instincts taking over. Pen moved against her, breathing gently, moaning as Ash's hands went to her waist.

The sounds gave Ash more confidence. She pulled back a little to see Pen's half-closed eyes and then, in an instant, she wanted so much more. Her hands started to fumble with the zipper on the back of Pen's dress. Pen grinned up at her. "Shall we do this properly?"

Ash nodded dumbly and Pen turned around so that she could pull the zip down fully. Ash's hands slid over Pen's shoulders as she pushed the dress off her until Pen was standing in the middle of the bedroom floor in her underwear, a puddle of material around her feet.

Hands shaking now, Ash reached for the clasp of Pen's bra. "Is this okay?" she asked hoarsely.

"Perfectly," Pen said.

She undid the bra in a thankfully swift movement and then, before she had time to think, Pen turned back around and there she was, pale and beautiful standing in the half-light, her breasts full and large, her grin full and large, and Ash about fainted on the spot.

"Your turn?" Pen asked.

Given that she was busy not fainting, Ash could only nod as Pen casually and slowly unbuttoned her shirt, as she slid it over her arms, as she flicked open the button on her jeans, as she slid them over her legs. Until Ash too was standing in the half-light wearing only sensible knickers and a dark tank-top.

Pen's hands reached for the hem of the tank-top and Ash reached up to stop her. "I'd rather not," she said. "If you don't mind?" She was small there, men had always said so, and she'd disliked taking off her shirt since school when the other girls would make fun of her. Pen simply smiled and took her hand again, walking them to the bed.

"Come on," Pen said, lying down and patting the bed next to her. "I won't bite. Unless you want me to."

If everything up to now had been like a dream, this was some kind of fantasy. Ash climbed onto the bed, hesitant to touch Pen in case she disappeared. Finally, she reached out one hand and stroked Pen's arm.

"That's nice," Pen said, settling back into the cushions.

Feeling daring, Ash let her fingers stroke up Pen's arm and tickle against her shoulder.

"Mmm," said Pen.

Feeling a mixture of anxious and daring, Ash let her fingers further trail down until they rounded the swell of Pen's breast and Pen let out a moan that Ash felt all the way down to her core. She melted, wetness flooding between her legs until she thought there might be something wrong with her. This had never happened before.

"Why don't you try kissing them?" Pen suggested. "Or sucking them perhaps? I'd like that."

Obedient, Ash bent her head, letting her lips feel the softness of Pen's skin, letting her mouth find the wrinkled hardness of a nipple and then she sucked once and heard Pen suck in a breath of air.

Her breath coming faster, she sucked more, sucked harder and Pen began to wriggle underneath her, began to push up so that her breast was pushed into Ash's face. Ash couldn't breathe and she didn't care.

Finally, Pen pushed her upward, detaching her mouth from her nipple. Ash was on her hands and knees over her, looking down at her blonde hair sprayed over the pillow.

"The other side now," Pen said, calmly and quietly like she wasn't at all melting on the inside in the way Ash was.

Ash bent again, and the same thing happened, and as Pen started to moan, started to move, Ash was filled with a feeling she couldn't name, a need for something, a yearning that started in her soul and spread outward.

Pen reached up and put her hands on Ash's hips and Ash began to buck, began to move, so Pen moved her hands down, placed a palm against Ash's center and even through the material of her underwear Ash could feel it, could feel a pulse there and she didn't know if it was her own or Pen's.

"Let's take them off, shall we?"

Ash couldn't speak. She knelt up, stripped her knickers off, baring herself without thinking and went right back to Pen's breasts, alternating between the two, letting her hands stray to Pen's waist, pulling her up, devouring her.

So she didn't see what Pen was doing, didn't see her hands moving. But she certainly felt them.

For a millisecond, she paused, froze really, as Pen's fingers dipped straight into her wetness, dragging it up and out of her, until those same fingers pressed against her, lubricated, wet and slippery.

Then Pen moaned again and Ash lost herself. Her hips moved against Pen's hand and her lips and tongue and teeth scraped against Pen's nipples and Pen was moaning and breathing and Ash was moaning and breathing and she truly thought that she might explode until…

A brief second of silence and stillness…

Then like a thousand fireworks she was off, nerves firing and sensations sparking and her breath god-know-where and… and… and Pen, all around her, in her and on her and under her and everywhere.

"It's alright, it's alright," Pen said, cradling her, stroking her hair. "Get your breath, it's alright, my love."

Ash's heart was still hammering as she looked up. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" asked Pen, giggling. "That was only maybe the hottest thing I've ever seen."

"It's not supposed to be longer?" Ash asked anxiously.

"You're not a man," said Pen. "And we are far from done."

"I thought I was going to, um, you know, take care of you first and then… I got carried away."

"In the sexiest sense," Pen said. "And any time you're ready for that taking care of me part, I'm game."

"You are?" Ash asked, starting to grin. Her hand was on Pen's generous stomach and she began to slide it down, reaching the waistband of Pen's knickers before looking up to find her biting her lip. "You're not going to last any longer than I did, are you?"

"No," sighed Pen, mouth widening into a smile.

Ash started to feel warm again as she slid her hand into Pen's knickers, feeling the wet warmth of her and hearing Pen sigh again in her ear.

"I DON'T WANT to talk about this if you're not comfortable with it," Pen said, her head on Ash's chest. "But, um, this?" She stroked Ash's tank top. "I completely understand not wanting to take this off, but if you're interested, you know there are binders, right? They'll keep everything flat and hidden but you'll be able to get a little more skin-on-skin contact."

Ash frowned. "Binders? For… oh, you mean, right, yeah, okay." She swallowed. "Um, that's not really the problem. It's just…"

"You're shy?" Pen asked, lifting her head up. "I get that. I'm not exactly a super-model myself."

"Stick thin isn't sexy to me," Ash said, feeling offended on Pen's behalf.

"Psh, you know what I mean. I'm a big girl, Ash, and I'm not ashamed of it. In fact, I dress to flaunt it. I'm comfortable in my skin, but it took me a long time to get there. A lot of crash dieting and feeling bad about myself."

"So what changed?" Ash asked, stroking the soft skin of Pen's back.

"I decided not to feel bad about myself," Pen said simply. She snuggled back into Ash's chest. Ash pushed her away. "What?" She looked shocked.

Ash sat up and pulled off her tank before lying back down again naked.

Pen snuggled again, this time their skin touching, warmth on warmth.

"You know, there's only one problem with this," Pen said.

"Mmm, what's that?" Ash was starting to feel pleasantly drowsy.

Pen ran her hand over Ash's torso, across her flat stomach, over the bump of her rib cage, gliding across the sensitive point of her right nipple. Ash felt a stab of heat and gasped. "Mmm, that's the problem," said Pen, sliding over a little so that her tongue could reach Ash's left nipple. "Do you think you might have a little more energy left to give?"

But Ash was too busy concentrating on breathing to answer that question.

In fact, she was busy for most of the rest of the night, in between touching and tasting and trying and napping. She didn't get back to the bookshop until after dawn had broken golden and orange and sea-salty.

And what she saw when she pushed the door open made the blood drain straight out of her face and her heart stop beating for an instant.